I think the best way to put your fears to rest is to do your own research.
Over the past several years, we've heard a LOT about vaccines, supposed links to developmental delays, etc. And we've also seen a lot of that information recanted or expunged from the medical journals which previously published those articles.
My concern is that you are asking people to validate a view which you are admittedly wanting reassurance on. To me, that suggests that you might do well to review your own information, look on the CDC websites, etc.
Just for the record, we do all get the flu vax in our house. My husband can't miss (up to ) two weeks of work; I can't be down for two weeks because my job is to support him in his work. My son got the mist vax (had the sniffles for a couple days, which is common) -- last year in Kindergarten, two of his classmates ended up in the hospital with the 'flu. I didn't need him missing up to two weeks of school, and frankly, I'll say this-- washing hands IS an intervention. If we are using anti-bacterial soap (which we don't) we repeatedly expose our kids to triclosan, which has dangers in its own right as it bio-accumulates. Differing interventions, and with varying risk factors.
We expose ourselves and our children to so many harmful chemicals on a daily basis (esp. if they ingest aspartame or foods which contain coloring, for starters) -- even the rays of the sun, or in sunblocks-- there are few of us who can honestly say we have raised our children 100% toxin free. It's a delusion.
Handwashing is a great help. I am not going to debate you on your opinion-- we practiced delayed vax with our son. I will just say that I did my own research, looked at CDC websites on different vaccines, and have kept my ear to the ground, so I know that things like pertussis (whooping cough), measles and other supposedly-eradicated diseases sometimes make a comeback. Sometimes, the best way to go is to really do your own discovery of what seems like a reasonable risk, and what doesn't.... and go from there. I do write, though, because I think it is unreasonable to ask for only opinions similar to ones own. It is in hearing differing opinions-- and being willing to accept them as valid in their own right-- that we grow to make better, more well informed choices, even if we are sticking with our original choice but with new information. Good luck to you.