Hi J.,
there so much more to making a decision like this one. like jobs, living arrangements (like selling your house, breaking a lease), your daughters schooling opportunities when the time comes and whether or not you are willing to short change yourself on the education YOU want.
Also, consider the possibility that 'absense makes the heart grow fonder'... try to step back and look at ALL aspects of your options objectively... maybe have your husband write down, or discuss with you what positive things he would see with moving vs. staying, and what things he would see as a negative in both places. And be sure not to let your emotions dictate too much of your list. be honest with yourself. If you decide that moving is not in EVERYBODY's best interest, ask your family to support that decision and not make you feel guilty for it. And to enforce your decision.... take those classes you wanted to take. part time, full time, student loans, whatever... get it done.
maybe if your friends would like to babysit - have them come to your home to do it.
regarding your in laws... if you dont want to hurt their feelings, you can say 'my goodness,... you guys are seriously too generous, but honestly, she doesn't need so much stuff and i dont want her to expect it... if you really want to help us out, we'd like to set up a college fund for her'. that way you are telling them that you appreciate their generosity but it's not necessary, and if they still want to give, they can do so in another way. it might not work... but it's worth a shot. i have found that some people show their love and affection thru material things. Obviously they have the means to do so... and myabe they do so because heck... it's what grandparents do :)
try to count yourself lucky that your parents do visit and miss you. my father has only seen my 16 month old son twice (he live 30 miles away) - my brother has never met my son (he lives about 20 miles from us)in spite of me asking both to come for dinner, or a BBQ, and i now have a new baby (10 weeks old) that neither one have made any effort to see or call about. i would go to them, but honestly... i have 4 kids to pack up to visit them, and both of them smoke in their homes, and i dont want my kids in that.
Good luck...