Tough First Week at Daycare!! Any Help Is Appreciated!

Updated on March 09, 2008
K.S. asks from Hackettstown, NJ
5 answers

I just started a new job this week, and my almost one year old has started daycare. I am working part-time, so I drop her off at 8:45am and pick her up at 1:45pm. I researched daycares in the area extensively, and feel very good about the choice that I made.

My daughter has had a tough week. I didn't think it would be a breeze, but I didn't think it would be this hard. First day was a breeze, like she had been there for months. She loved it. Everyday is getting tougher. Now she screams and cries when I leave, she is weepy on and off for the time she is there, has a hard time napping (which means the other babies do because she isn't allowing them to sleep either), and even a hard time taking a bottle, which is does fine from my mom, her father, his mom, my brother, etc. But I breastfeed her when I am with her, which until this week, has been almost everyday allday except for Sundays when she is with her father, and sometimes when my family has watched her for me to do things.

I don't know if anyone has experience in this. Any suggestions, or shared experiences. When should she be adjusted by? What should I expect? Anything I can do to ease it? THANK YOU SO MUCH!

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So What Happened?

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO THOSE OF YOU WHO RESPONDED! I don't have any news yet, but I will update as I do. Today she was screaming when I left, and I cried all the way to work. When I called to check if she was okay, Miss Donna said she stopped crying before I got to the car. Naptime was a little better also, so I will try to implement the advice and go from there!! Thanks again!!

More Answers

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B.A.

answers from New York on

Take a few deep breaths and let the stress go. And remember that for the next 20 years at least. The daycare workers have seen it before and will see it again. You just have to let her adjust, it only has been a week. It is a HUGE change for her since you are so bonded as a result of the breast feeding.
I would drop her off and point out something that will interest her, then turn and run. Do not make the goodbye a long thing. If you do you will teach her to cling to you thinking you will stay. Praise her for any and all positive things that happen during the day. Let her hear you tell others what a big girl she is going to day care with all the other big boys and girls. Good luck and don't forget the deep breaths, they will help center you.

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A.K.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,
First let me commend you for being a young single mommy to Mara. I dont know you but I can feel the love you have for your little girl.
I am lucky enough to stay at home with my two boys, but I did used to work in Tutortime daycare. First I was a floater they call it, and visited every room then I got my own three year old class. I had my share of whines,screams,temper tandrums, and saw alot of parents like yourself with that sad look in their eyes, but it will get better. I would always hold the child and let them watch mommy or daddy leave from the window, and then I would say Ok we will see them later, lets go have fun.I also told parents to give me family photos and would hang them up.Bring her favorite blankie,doll,or something that brings her comfort, that might help her nap better.Good Luck I wish you the best.

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C.H.

answers from New York on

K.,
I am a home daycare provider and i can tell you that what your daughter is going through is very normal. I have had some children that were under my care for a few months and then they started having trouble when their parents left. I have also had kids that only cried for seconds. By the time their parent was in the car they were fine. It is just a matter of time until the children adjust. As long as you are comfortable with the daycare provider you are leaving her with there is really nothing for you to worry about. Kids adjust faster that adults. Just think of how out of place you feel when you start a new job or enter a room of people that you don't know. As an adult you know how to hide you discomfort or just suck it up and adjust. At one year old they don't know what to do. I would just give her time, maybe ask your daycare provider for suggestions. I know all daycare providers are different. Personally I find that a quick goodbye from mommy makes it a lot easier. Good Luck.

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T.W.

answers from New York on

One suggestion not mentioned by others - be as positive and as cheerful as you can when you're leaving. If she senses that you're upset, she'll pick up on it.

Also, have a routine you follow everyday. It can be anything - incorporate actions and works. My oldest liked to say goodbye, give two kisses, then watch me go to the car at the window with his "teacher". My middle guy - who wan't in daycare but in preschool - liked to count together to a number he decided on the way to school.

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T.H.

answers from Rochester on

When I first sent my oldest to daycare, she had a hard time adjusting, too. Before you know it, things will be better, and your child will adjust. To make it easier on both of us, I made a book for my daughter to take to daycare with pictures of the family in it and I also gave the daycare disposable cameras to take pictures of my daughter because I didn't want to miss out on any part of her life! They were great and took lots of pictures of things she did throughout the day! Hang in there!

PS: My daugther will be 3 on St. Patrick's Day!!!

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