I have an 8 almost 9 year old boy in 3rd grade. We call him the brooding artist "he sometimes shy; independent, righteous, charming, and a pain". We love him dearly. He is the oldest of our 3 children. He has been in the same school since kindergarten. Over the past years there are somethings that I am just not satisfied with the school in regards to education. I think they have great teachers but not a wonderful support system for them - which as a private schools is starting to make me think I am wasting my child's time and our money. My question really is about emotionally prepping him to move to another school? he loves his school and friends. What experiences have some of you mom's dealt with - the good and the bad. How did you get through it? Did you think it was for the best? Any insight would be great.
N. -
DO it now - don't wait. It will be harder on you then the child - but if you already have 'broken' away from the current school - start building ties with the new one. Go in to the new school- see how you can 'help' vistit at lunch attend all the meetings and meet new families and friends - it will be the BEST thing for YOU and for him.
Being a military family my kids have switched schools a few times. They never had any trouble adjusting, and made new friends right away. This will be easier on your son then you think.
Once you find a school to switch to, take pictures of it. Inside and out. Try to take pictures of the second (or third) grade teachers. Prepare a photo album for your son that he can look at to prep him for moving to the school. Really talk it up like it's the best thing ever!! but don't forget to acknowlege his fears about moving. Seeing pictures will help him commit the building to memory and he will be able to associate pictures with faces when he gets there. Also, once he's signed up, take him on a tour of the school. It will help calm his first day jitters.
Hello N.,
I think I may have your son's twin...My son Caden will be 9 in June, he is outgoing and extremely intelligent. We just moved to Central Square over the summer and out of all my children(we have 5 little boys-Caden's the oldest) I thought Caden would have adjusted the best. He has surprised me because he has had the hardest time. He misses his old school and friends and he hasn't made any close friends this year. It just takes time and patience, I've explained to Caden the more we get involved in school the more children he will meet and he will eventually make friends...the friends he had on Long Island weren't made overnight it took years...It maybe a little bit of a lonely time but it is a good life lesson, life's not always easy or fun and it will get better. Goodluck, C.
My children are small yet but I moved every year as a child. FOR ME...I found that when they made a big deal out of it, I did. Until one year they told me about 2 weeks before hand, and asked my new teacher to schedule something special to make me feel more wlecome. She actually had all the kids in the class stand up and introduce themselves and make up a sentence saying why they thought it was a good idea to have a new in the class and why it was good for me and what thier favorite thing to do was. That helped get conversations started. Not all teachers are willing to do that but it also depends when this transition happens. For some kids that might be a bad idea. If he is very shy and withdrawn a bit then it may be easier for him to find a "buddy" maybe the new teacher could someone in the class that is also interested in the same things and put them next to each other.
But in a nut shell, I think you are right. If he is not getting all he can and a challenge from this school then why waste the money? Have you spoken with his teacher or the principal? Sometimes they don't see that the children need something specific. But if you are hearing the same things from other parents there then change it. In the long run he will thank you for it! I feel that I am a well rounded, friendly, outgoing person because of all the moves. I make friends easily too. Mind you this took time to grow but the ends justify the means. Good luck!
If you can, bring your son to the new school and walk around with him. Do this a couple times before school starts so on his first day he'll be a little familiar with the school. I did this with my two older kids and on there first day they weren't nervous or scared. Find out who's gonna be in his class and if he/she lives near you...get them together for a play date. It's nice to see a familiar face on the first day of school. Good luck :)
What does your son want? Of course he isn't matuure enough to make the decision but hearing his imput could certainly help you make the right one.
I do not think there will ever be a perfect school which can cater to every childs' individual needs. If you do chhoose to transfer him make sure it is to a place where you absolutely know will be best. Spend time at prospective schools. Observe teachers in the classrooms. Attend PTA meeting or the like. Do your research so that you will never have to face this again because too much disruption in a child's life can be detrimental.
Good luck.
A.
