Travel for Parents and Leaving Baby at Home

That sounds like an awesome trip. That being said, that is a long way from home. I would probably do a trip like that when he is older and can communicate with grandparents. There would be no quick way to get ho,me, if you had to. How about a trip closer to hoe for a week max. Whatever you decide have fun.

I've travelled with my son, and without him... both are amazing for different reasons.

One thing to keep in mind... HE'S having an adventure, too. Getting to stay with grandparents, and be spoiled to bits, is every bit as much fun for him, as it will be for the two of you to get to have time together. Hmmm. Possibly more. It's a phenomenal bonding time, as well. My own mum all but shoves me out the door when I'm considering leaving for a little while so she and my son can have their Nonna-Time. Go, go, go! Have fun. So, really, it's not just the parents getting to reconnect, nor kiddo getting to bond and deepen a relationship with people who love him, but also Grandparents who benefit. Win-Win-Win.

Big suggestion:

- Come home a day before you plan on picking him up. Which sounds unbearably difficult, until you exit off the plan, return home... and want nothing so much in the world as to fall fast asleep and have a vacation from your vacation. Taking care of the jetlag before diving back into parent mode is indescribably useful.

Don't Expect:

Him to miss you. Toddlers have wonky senses of time. If you 3 have a secure connection, he has 100% trust that you'll be home again. Soon. And in the meantime, he's "busy". It's broken more parent's hearts that the truck their child is currently playing with is more exciting than the phonecall, or return home. To a toddler, an hour is an eternity, and 2 weeks is the blink of an eye.

Do:

Talk it up (When on the phone : How exciting for you / So happy to hear you/ etc... instead of weep/sob/I miss you). The more excited you two are, the more excited he'll be. Ditto preschool, primary, etc. If you present this trip as a big, serious, possibly traumatic and stressful thing to him... it will end up being a big, serious, traumatic, and stressful thing. Parents are like Gods to small children. Imagine if God started wringing his hands and crying that he was going to miss us. Um. There'd be rioting in the streets, as people were conviced the world was ending. After all, if GOD is afraid, what chance to do we have??? Conversely; If it's simply matter of course, and how marvelous!, what an exciting adventure you're going to have!... then it will all be brilliant.

I think its a brilliant idea.

I like Riley's suggestion of making sure you give yourselves a day to recuperate before collecting your child.

Also, if it would help the grandparents any, maybe you could have them do a longe weekend of overnights first. i.e. he stays Fri, Sat & Sunday night, and you collect him on Monday. This gives them all a chance to get a short taste for the routine.

I would recommend that the grandparents don't go whole hog for the full 10 days with something special planned for each day, because it could be exhausting for them, but hey its their call.

Your wife's idea is brilliant. I wish our respective parents would be so accommodating.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

I don't think it's a problem at all. Your son will be with people he knows well and loves. I know many, many people that have traveled abroad without their babies and it's been totally fine. If you can, bring a laptop so you can skype with him, or phones/ipads, etc that can do face time. If he can see your face and hear your voice, he will know you're still there and coming back soon.

It would be a really nice trip for you and your wife and great for your relationship.

I see no negative aspects to this at all. You are lucky you have this wonderful chance!

I think he'd be fine. I would do some traveling or leaving him with the grandparents before the trip though just to make sure he's good with it. This way he can get used to spending the night there and having them for several days at a time.

I think your son would be just fine without you. However, that's a long time and a long distance for your first extended getaway without him. I might suggest a shorter trip (maybe 5 days) and closer destination to ease into things a bit.

You absolutely need and deserve time together as a couple, but it doesn't necessarily have to be on the other side of the world.

So long as he has a great relationship with the grandparents, and they will ALL view it as a kind of adventure, then it could be great.
Personally, I would have a difficult time leaving my child for 10 days. That is a long time. I would think 5-6 days would be a better time frame. However, having traveled from the east coast to New Zealand, I can understand wanting 10 days for a trip of that distance, to fully enjoy the time there and not be jet lagged the entire time, not to mention the expense of a trip like that, wanting to stay long enough to make it worth the cost. If your child became tired of the arrangement and was very unhappy 6 days into your trip, would you be willing/able to return home early?

So, tough question. I would say that if you have doubts and are not in agreement, that perhaps you should consider a closer destination that is for a shorter duration.

Your son will be fine. Make sure you sign whatever is necessary so that your folks can take him to the doctor if he needs to go. (I do that still for my teen when he goes off to visit family, along with a copy of the medical insurance card.)

Children are resilient even when there is change in their lives. What holds them up during change is love and routine. Your folks are used to providing both of these, and he is used to them too.

Enjoy your trip!!

Dawn

I think because your son knows his grandparents so well it should be fine. Can they stay at your place while you're gone, so your son is in his own home, bed, etc? That would make it even better and easier.
GO, and HAVE FUN!!!

if the mom wants to do it then go.. I personally would not leave my kids that long.. I have nver left them overnight.. but i dont have ready willing and able grandparents to watch them.

have fun.

A. Your wife is absolutely correct that you two need time alone together. You can not feel bad about it. It is essential for the people in a healthy marriage to remember life BK (before kids) that's the reason you have a kid right? You two loved each other enough to bring a baby into the world. My husband and I took a weekend away six weeks after our first. Kids are resilient.

B. I still worked the occasional conference gig back then. When my first was 3 months old. I had to leave the state for 2 1/2 weeks. It was so hard on me. But, it was also good for me. Let me know I was more than a mom. That I was needed by adults not just a screaming baby. That I still had a lot to offer the world.

C. When you guys are away. Call everyday. Yes your baby doesn't talk yet but, hearing your voices on a daily basis will help them. But really, they won't remember. The trip will be harder on you then the baby. But you need it!

D. Don't feel guilty! It's ok! A healthy relationship between two parents is so much more important that being with the baby 24/7, because otherwise you guys will lose a little bit of yourselves. People make stupid decisions when they lose themselves. Your trip is as much for your baby as it is for you.
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E. Also, you will be amazed at how exponentially more work there is with two. You probably won't get another chance to take a ten day vacation for several years after the second comes around. Go! Be strong loving parents that need each other as much as your baby needs you.

It's all good! Have some fun! Remember life BK and why you fell in love with your wife in the first place.

BTW I've been married ten years. Most of the couples I know that never took alone time without the kids... Well they're not married anymore. This is important. Good luck! Remember we're here if you need us!

10 days is kind of a long time, but if he's used to being with his grandparents it will probably be okay. Actually, it will probably be more stressful for you two than it will be for him.