Traveling Friends Contribute to Food Budget?

I don't know how open you can be with these folks. I've never been asked to contribute to meals when staying in someone's home, but when we set it up as a potluck meal from the get-go, it's certainly fair to ask: could you bring a dessert or a salad or whatever. I wouldn't ask the missionaries to bring food unless they offer.

I would definitely try to get some of these things settled up front, so everyone knows what to expect. try to get with your other friends who are close, and make a plan, for example, Pizza one night, burgers and salads on the grill another, etc. then you could ask each family to "sponsor" a meal. the out of towners could pick up pizza night, while you get all the fixins' for barbeque night and so on. don't expect the out of towners to prepare too much, unless they suggest or sign up for it.

when my family gets together for a weekend, we do a plan ahead and everyone says what they will bring. some people bring the stuff in coolers, others plan to shop when they get there. this way, no on is wondering who is doing or paying for what.

I would not ask them to contribute. (You wouldn't expect them to ask you to chip in for their gas and other travel expenses, right?).

They may offer and then you can accept. They may also feel like it is your house and they don't want to overstep. If they have small kids with any special diet needs or wants, i think you can send them an email and say this is what we have to eat...if your kids need anything special please bring it.

When I stay with friends out of town, I always help out with food in some way, especially because I have two kids. We usually go to the grocery store together and I will buy what I need, snacks and stuff, and then if they need to pick up some items for dinner and such, I will usually say that I'll pay for those too. They say "Oh, no you don't have to" and I say "I insist". Maybe before the big potluck dinner, you could take her to the store with you to buy what you need. Before hand ask, what should we make? Do you have any special recipes that you want to wow us with? Also, say, we are going to the store Wed, so if you need anything extra let me know or we can go together or whatever. I think that most people will feel that they should chip in.

With the big meals, it seems you are saying those are potluck meals. So your friends probably already are planning on bringing something for those ones. Since a potluck is everyone bring something. I don't think it would be rude to ask at all what others are bringing. you could send out an email now, since it's about 2 weeks away, and ask them. And tell everyone you want to know, to make sure that there is all types of food going to be there. you don't want everyone showing up with chips, or a dessert. So you can tell them, you want to make sure, there are chips, dessert main dishes, salads, rolls. IF they are at your house, you can decide, if you will supply the main foods, and others to bring sides, or how you are going to do it. And if you are supplying the main meals, you tell them that as well. you might have someone offer to just give you a few dollars to help with the cost of the main dish, instead of them bringing something.

Even traveling from ohio, they could bring chips, or desserts, or some sides that don't need to be refrigerated.

I would definatly let your friend know that you do shopping on what day, and ask her if she needs you to pick up anything for her, or tell her that you guys will go shopping friday morning, to get everything you need. Then she can get what she needs for herself, and son.

Hi R., whenever we have had people come in or when we have stayed they tend to pitch in without me saying anything. I think that if it is a potluck, they will probably pitch in on their own. This is how I sort of envision it, if you all have a discussion about what the meal will be, and someone says "who is bringing what", I imagine that there will be a point when everyone but the out of towners have contributed and they will feel it and jump in. I don't think that I would say anything (it's jsut not me) but the friends that I have, I wouldn't have to. On the other hand, I have a couple of relatives, that never do their share, and if I am going to resent it, I just tell them, really they are clueless and aren't offended anyway. Depends on the person and their personality/relationship with you. Good luck. It can be expensive to host these types of things, so I suggest that you come up with a budget for your family, and if you are short on a condiment or side dish, then the next meal that person will jsut contribute... nobody will hate you for not having the perfect compliment to the meal, relax and try to enjoy it, and remember that some of the stress is from your pregnancy, take a deep breath and let them do a lot of the work, let them take care of you a little bit. I am sure that they will be happy to help if they can. Just be honest and say, excuse me I need a nap.

I am not sure what Ms. Manners would say, but I believe that you never as a guest to contribute. If they offer, that is great (I still personally decline). You have invited them to be guests in your home. If you are not in a position to host, don't offer in the first place. Just get through this weekend get-together and in the future, only offer what you are willing to provide.

Absolutely include the friends from out of town in the pot luck contributions. Give them some choices when you plan your menus. They can cook in your kitchens or purchase carry out from a local store and/or restaurant.

Ask yourself if you normally charge guests. That should tell you something.
They're your guests. If they offer to help compensate, fine. Return the offer if/when you go to Ohio. But it's just my personal opinion that it's tacky to open your home to friends, and then charge them for taking advantage of your open offer.

I don't think it is unreasonable to ask them to contribute to the meals, but I guess I wouldn't push the issue if they seem like they can't afford to.

Have fun and I hope everything goes well!

Hi R.,
You should not ask or expect them to contrbute moneywise.
If they are willing to contribute, then graceiously
accept. Offer suggestions on other ways they can help
with the meal[set up, clean up, ect.]

Enjoy your time with them.
C. O.

I don't think it is unreasonable at all. Maybe you can send an email out prior and say let's make a list of what we are going to have and everyone sign up for what they are going to make. And, then suggest a time you can go to the grocery store together to buy items.

it isn't unreasonable to expect the out of towners to contribute....after all eating is part of the expense of traveling......just know that if they are staying at your house you will be sharing the kitchen so one way to broach the subject would be to "schedule" kitchen time to make sure you don't both need the oven at the same time on different temperatures