Travelling While Using Ferber Method

L.~

We travel a ton and also used ferber method. Almost every time we travel (dd is now 13 months) everything goes out the window! We try to keep her bed time routine as close to the one at home (bath, lotion, reading, crib) but there are always a few bumbs in the road. Do what you need to do while on vacation, then start up again when you get back. I will say we let her cry for a few minutes (2-5) and if she went to sleep we where thrilled. If she was still crying after 5 we went in to combat mode to get her to sleep anyway possible. Once we got home it usually took one night of on and off crying to "reset".

Good Luck and Have a great weekend!

M

Hi L.,

I've found that when traveling, your routine gets totally shot. I do the ferber method at home, but when traveling, my son just won't sleep no matter what. When we travel, we do whatever it takes to get him to sleep and retrain him when we get home. The best advice I can give you is to try your best to just relax and forget about your routine, because it never seems to work away from home anyway.

Have a great trip!

L.

How nice it is when others put their "opinions" on your sleep-training method!!!

I would have waited until you came back from your trip to attempt to train your daughter. Travel always screws up kids' sleep, and you always have to end up re-training them when they return.

However, I agree with the others (who didn't put their two-cent's worth about the Ferber Method) who mentioned to start using some white noise.

Whenever my daughter travels with us, we don't use the Ferber because it would distress the people around us. We do our best to make her sleep, and when she returns home, we re-train her.

Good luck!

Yes, you probably should have waited, but I wouldn't stop now. Bring a fan to provide white noise, any comforting thing that she has in her bed at home. Do exactly what you do at home to get her ready for bed. Explain to your friends what you are doing. You are in charge of her routine, so stick to the timeline of what you do at home - which can be extremely hard on "vacation"! She is not screaming for an hour, so just proceed at normal - if it doesn't work or seems to be a lot worse than home, then scrap it, but if you start from scratch, it might take longer the second time.

I agree, always travel with a white-noise machine. And in my experience - you will have to work on it again when you get home. Try to stick with her sleep schedule as much as you can, but in my experience (2 kids, large extended family in Michigan, lots of cottage and holiday weekends) you may end up lying next to her to get her to sleep. Not the end of the world, and not her fault - it's scary to be left alone in a strange place.

Travel always screws sleep up for everyone for a few days. Don't wreck your holiday stressing over it, really. Just enjoy yourselves and go back to a normal schedule next week. There are always going to be things that come along that mess with the schedule, but as long as you usually keep a routine, it will all be OK in the end.

I've done the ferber method myself and unfortunately when I traveled and while other people are in earshot I didn't let my little ones cry it out. That can be very hard for other people to listen to. Little kids need extra attention when traveling and falling asleep, unfortunately that's just part of being a parent. There will be a few days of adjustment when you get back and you can start over.

I ALWAYS travel with boxfans!! They work wonders to drown out noise.

kids don't generally sleep well while traveling, so be prepared for that. Personally, I do what I need to do to help my son sleep when we travel. Then we go back to the "usual" routine when we get back home. It may take a couple days for her to get back into the swing of things (sleeping through the night) when you get back. Then again, she may surprise you and sleep ok while you're away. My 14-month old son slept great on a recent trip to Colorado(!)

When did our babies become puppies that need to be trained????
Your daughter will sleep when she needs, much to your dismay and I truly
understand sleep deprivation. My daughter was not into sleep at all.
Those are just the breaks of having kids. I certainly did not go into parenting to be well-rested. Sleep training as so many people call it is ridiculous. They are babies, not animals. We aren't supposed to "train" them to do anything. We had them to love them and receive love from them. Period. That's it.
Just my humble opinion.

Have you considered any alternative methods? Letting a baby cry it out is going against your instincts as a mother (that is why it is so hard to hear her cry) and can be emotionally damaging to both you and her, as well as can deteriorate the relationship you have with her. Babies tend to sleep best when in the room (or dare I say, snuggled up in bed) with parents. The latests SIDS research suggests that babies are LESS likely to die of SIDS while sleeping in the room with a parent.
Just some things to consider. I slept with my baby (called co-sleeping and you can google how to do this safely- you can even attach or "sidecar" the crib to your bed) and she was a great sleeper. PLUS you get to wake up to their sweet toothless smiles in the morning. :)

Amanda

You really shouldn't start trying to use the Ferber method unless you are able to be home and have a consistent bedtime routine for 2 weeks. I would forgo the cry it out method when you are traveling for your child's sake and for the other people in the house's sake. It isn't fair to expect your child to understand what is going on when he is in a different environment. I understand it is very frustrating to deal with sleep issues, but I would wait until you get home.

Hi L.,
I didn't read any books or do any particular method (or maybe I did do a method and just dont know what it's called since I didn't read any books!).

When my son was a baby/toddler, I kept to his normal schedule as closely as possible when we were travelling. We had a bedtime routine every night that I stuck to. He has never gotten a bath every night since it dries out his skin, but he gets one every other night. So, if it was bath night, I'd bathe him, then read him a story (I miss the short books... these chapter books now take so much longer!), sing him a lullaby, kiss him goodnight and put him in his crib (or toddler bed when he was old enough). Then I walked away. At home as long has he was fed and diapered, I let him cry (didn't really do that until he was around 6-8 months). When travelling though, I only let him cry for about 10 minutes before I'd soothe him, because being in a strange place is scary. He took naps at home in his playpen (or play yard or whatever they call them these days), so when we travelled it wasnt a big deal to sleep in it. If we went somewhere with a crib, I brought along his bumper, blankets, sheets, and crib toys so it would be almost like home. I never really worried about SIDS or anything because the monitor I had was one that measured movement and sounded an alarm if there wasnt any (Apnea runs in my family). If he stopped breathing the alarm would sound and jolt him awake (and me out of my skin). Since yuo are only a couple days into your chosen method, it won't be the end of the world if you can't stick with it while travelling. I like the other mom's idea about white noise - that might be a huge help with all of those people there!

I've only read about the Ferber method but do know that kids (like adults) do not usually sleep well in strange places. If there is going to be a lot of noise (i.e. 15 people) then it is probably not a good idea to leave your daughter alone, crying, for any amount of time. You did not mention how old your daughter is??? Plenty of time to continue "training" her after your trip.

L.,
At one point I contemplated letting my 6 month old cry it out. However, it just never felt like the right thing to do--Babies cry because they need something--even if it is only to be held and comforted. The more I hear about people "ferberizing" their baby, the sadder I become. Responding to your baby's cry establishes a trusting, loving relationship that will benefit you and your baby for a lifetime. Read "The Baby Book" by William Sears for a different perspective.
Letting a baby cry for an extended period of time is damaging both physiologically and psychologically. I have a 6 month old and we co-sleep, which I will continue until he can sleep through the night in his own bed.