Trouble in the Home..........

What age did this start? Was there a defining situation like a divorce or being bullied? Have you had him evaluated by psychiatrist or neurologist with a neuro-psych evaluation? Have you tried family therapy? Have you contact the Department of Social Services?

I'm sorry there are so many questions but your post is so very vague. Much of what he's doing could be appropriate, or it could depend on and underlying situation or possibly mental health issue or neurological disorder that you're unaware of right now or that you haven't shared.

I think you need to focus on why he is a good person and go from there. He is almost 18. Is he going to graduate high school? What are his plans after he graduates? I would focus him on his future. Build up his self esteem by praising him and guiding him through the process of becoming an independent adult.

I have an 18 year old daughter and 2 nephews who are 20 and 21 respectively. All three of these kids were troubled teenagers. The more you fight them, the more they will rebel. My daughter is now in college, the 20 year old is in the Air Force, and the 21 year old found a girlfriend that he is totally in love with and is working toward building a life with her. All three of them are happy, productive, young adults. None of them live with us parents either.

Don't lose hope.
Don't give up.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's tough, but stay positive and supportive. The goal here is to make this young person an independent adult.

I hope this helps:)

If he's 17 and breaking things in the house, and causing you to be in fear, I don't see why the police won't arrest him.

It's hard to find help at this stage and yet, when he does do something to get himself arrested, everyone will be looking at you wondering why you didn't ask for help. It's a vicious cycle but there really is no help until you get into the judicial system (that is, if you're not rich. The rich can get help for anything at any time.)

I think for your peace of mind and home, you have to back off. I know how hard that is, but he's 17; if he hasn't learned what you've been trying to teach him by now, he's not going to get it in the next few months. Let him fall; don't clean up his mess for him, but offer emotional support while he cleans it up.

Tough love is the hardest thing you will ever do, but it will have the most reward and benefit.

He is a minor --- you are his mother. You can sign him into a mental health facility and get him treatment. Money, you can apply for medical assistance, once he is dignosed you can get SSI for him and hopefully MA.