Hi Moms
I'm writing to see if anyone has any suggestions on ideas of helping my brother better potty train his 3-year old son. My brother is a former toddler teacher in a daycare/preschool and has tried all the "tricks of the trade" he learned from his teaching days but nothing seems to be working with his own son! My nephew, Keith, is 3 years old now and is able to pee in the potty with no issues but pooping is another story! I know this is common for boys to struggle with this part of the training but if anyone has any suggestion of what worked for their son/child I will pass along to my brother! Thank you SO much moms!!
S.
Hi S.,
I know boys that didn't finish potty training until ages 4 and 5. They're ready when they're ready.
: ) Maureen
Here is the magic that worked for us: time.
It seemed like forever. No trick worked in the long run. Until he was just ready. I wish we had spared our energy and left the grass to grow by itself (does not grow faster when pulled).
I even think our pushing delayed his training, decreasing motvation, increasing fear of failure. And we didn't even push hard.
Good luck,
D.
Patience.... that is all he needs.
My boys were both over 3 when they potty trained fully and once they did, they did not have accidents.
This to shall pass and the child will not go to K in diapers. Just continue with stickers, rewards and praise...soon enough it will happen.
Hi S.,
we're working on this same issue with our three year-old son. What we're trying now is to break his progress down into smaller steps. So first we got him to the point where he requests a diaper when he needs to poop. Communication was rewarded with praise and an M&M. Now we have him doing that, plus doing his actual pooping IN the bathroom, where it's supposed to be done, so that he gets in the habit of going straight there and not hiding in a dark corner in the living room, LOL! Our next step, when this current jar of M&Ms is over, is to give him a reward when he sits on the potty (with diaper on) to make his poop---he can use either the potty ring adapter or his little potty. For some reason our son has a fear of doing his poops on the potty, but not pee, so we have to show him it's okay. If he doesn't cooperate, we will remain neutral and not force it. The next step after that is to cut a hole in the diaper and have him poop through it. I don't know if that will be a necessary step and it's really not one I'm looking forward to! Then no diaper.
He also knows the story of Lonely Poo who wants to go to Pooland to get back together with his mother/daddy/friends to play. The only way to get there is through the toilet pipes. Even if you put the poo in the diaper in the toilet after he is done, some of it gets left in the diaper and that is lonely. This story appeals to his compassionate side and desire to be helpful.
Good luck!
I hope this doesn't sound mean, because it worked. My son was 3.7 months - he would pee, but not poop, in the potty. So what I did was get a toy that I knew he would LOVE (it was something pretty big, too, not just like M&Ms). I showed it to him and then put it high up on a dresser where he couldn't reach it. I told him he could get it when he pooped on the potty. He screamed and cried and carried on, begging me for it for about 4 hours. I kept telling him it was his as soon as he pooped on the potty. By that evening, he did it. He got the toy and he never looked back. Yes, there were a few accidents after that, but they were just that -- accidents. He never willingly pooped in his pants again. So, it was a little like sleep training -- a bit of discomfort for all involved, but it worked like a charm and saved us all a lot of grief in the long run.
If he's been actively trying to train him, he might do best to just lay off for a few months. Many boys are not poop-trained at three. Give him some time :-)
My son was 3 years 7 months when trained (and his sister was 2 years 2 months - while training him,she trained too!). So now sure how old the 3 year old in question is, but he might need a few more months. But what happened in the end with us is that my son would pee on the potty, but didnt want to poop there (like your situation). So we started a sticker award situation JUST for poops. He got an M&M for a pee or a poop, but also a sticker on a card for a poop. He knew he had to get X number of stickers to get the prize - which was one of the cars from the Cars movie (which would be left in full view, but not accessible). At first he had to earn 3 stickers, then for the next car 4 stickers, then for the next car 5 stickers. I dont think we went beyond 5 as that takes a lot of time and patience for a kid since they only poop 1-2 times a day. Thats what worked in the end for us. Then when they were both good and trained we had a Potty Training Party and gave them a few small toys and a cake and celebrated them being potty trained and said now they wouldnt get the cars or stickers or M&M's anymore. Good luck - its hard work!
- X.
So if nothing is working, the child isn't ready! This is not unusual, especially in boys. Mine was well past 4 when he reliably "trained" so your brother should just stop because it's causing stress in everyone. The child could become stubborn or anxious about the toilet because it seems to be the major issue in his dad's life. Just invest in diapers/pull ups and give it a rest! It will happen!
