Trouble with Separation Anxiety

Have you talked to him and told him what you are going to do and then immediately follow up with doing it? You may have to begin small to establish this so he gets the pattern. I always did this with my kids. I tell them "We are going to the health club and you will get to play with other children in the play room." We go there I talk the entire way to the play room about how I will work out and some of the fun things they will do. As we arrive I tell them to look and see and I find something or someone that will catch their attention. Then I say "okay one last hug and then I will go for a little while. I will be back very soon." I put them down and they are confident and off playing. I had already established this routine with everything else too. I talk about things I will do with them or places we will go together. Then we do them and I remind them that we did exactly as I promised. They know I will come back because I always keep them informed....even when they were very young. I looked at it as though they heard me saying (even when they were just a couple of months old) that I am going bye bye, but I will be back soon and they will be okay. When I hear myself say this, I feel more confidence in leaving them and they sense the confidence and then feel it themselves. Only one of my kids had a few times of separation anxiety. It was the way I was handling him in the moment so I worked harder to instill what I had already been working on with them all and the problem resolved very fast. My 3 yr old (who is the one that had separation anxiety around 6 months for 2 weeks and mildly at that) had his 1st bout of this again at preschool the other day. I just told him I cannot stay today, but I sure am flattered that he would like me to and I knwo i would be fun. However it is time for him to be brave and I will go home and be brave and do all I need to do. Then I will return to get him later and we can compare stories. He hugged me big and told me goodbye and had no more trouble at all. It is all in the approach and level of confidence. If you think you will fail to leave them, then you will. This is sort of like a self fulfilling prophecy. Good luck, be confident and I hope you can successfully get your work out in. I am needing to arrange my schedule for this as well.

B. :)

you're right, he's missin you. But, so he gets use to Mommy not being there, I think you should continue as you have been doing and let him adjust. If it continues too long, I'd try something else

My son had horrible separation anxiety. It got so bad I would get up extremely early and leave for work so we didn't go through the trauma of him seeing me leave. We actually found something that did work for leaving him with his daddy and gramma. We took him to Build a Bear and let him pick out a toy (a turtle). There is a recordable voice box you can have put in it and I recorded "Momma loves you, big boy Alex." in a cheerful voice. He could cuddle his turtle, had a laminated picture of me in the zippered turtle shell, and could squeeze the voicebox anytime he was missing me or feeling stressed. He still sleeps with his turtle and wants it if he isn't feeling well as a big old 9-1/2 year old!

You're not alone. My daughter is 17 months old and she just hit a peak in separation anxiety where she only wants Mommy. The more I left her with my boyfriend the more she got used to just being with him, however, once I come home she clings to my legs. The same goes for her sitter, although she's started to act out there for the first time, wanting mommy.
It is a phase and once you're gone for a bit she'll get over it...until you get back. It's kind of the "out of sight out of mind".
I would continue what you are doing. I'm sorry that the daycare at the gym won't deal with it a little bit longer each time. Maybe you could ask them to wait five more minutes each time you have to go get him....Brody may be getting used to the fact that if he cries for "this long" then you will be there....babies keep good time:)
But I totally sympathize. I have been losing sleep as well due to this cuz Bella, my daughter, is even waking up in the middle of the nite wanting me...she thinks I've left her. I've had to start leaving her bedroom door open at bedtime, even when she's not asleep yet, so she can hear us and in some cases see us to know that we are still there.
Good luck with it all. Another FYI...I've heard that separation anxiety goes in stages and isn't almost completely gone until the age of 5-6. However, I sometimes enjoy that my baby still wants to cuddle with me:)
Take care

The second idea that you had (sitting with him for a few minutes to help him relax) is a great start! I had the same problem with my daughter (who is one year old now and has ALWAYS had separation anxiety-- from the day she was born) when I started leaving her at the nursery at church. She would scream and cry so badly that they would call me to come get her even before the choir was finished!! I tried staying in there for a few minutes but it didn't seem to work because she knew when we entered that room that I would eventually be leaving her there. Finally, I decided to just stay in there with her (the entire service). It only took a few times of doing this until she was comfortable to leave my arms to play with the other kids. Now she does really well in the nursery--w/o Mama!-- better than the rest of the kids even!! I hope this helps, let me know!

M.,I agree with the other 2 resposes.My son went through that too.Keep doing what you are doing and soon it will get easier.It is tough when they cry for you but they learn that you will be back to get them.Hang in there and good luck.