Update: Bullying/Cyberbulling What to Do Now?

You really need to stop calling this bullying because it is not. Your daughter is being harassed but not bullied. Sorry I am one of those people that hates that term being used for anything that causes our kids unhappiness.

Your daughter seems to be handling this well so I am not sure what you mean by cost to your daughter. It also sounds like the school is doing everything reasonable to protect your daughter.

I think you need to understand these kids have no come even close to crossing that line that makes their acts criminal.

I understand that it isn't easy to see your child harassed but there is no magic wand that is going to make this go away. It has to run its course.

I don't know that there is anything more that you can do at this point, other than to memorialize everything that's happened in a letter to the principal, cc'd to the superintendent of the school district. At the end of the letter include some language that says 'if your recollection of events is anything other than what I have stated, please clarify in writing." That way you give them the option of "correcting" what you wrote; if they don't, that means they agree with it. Then sit back and see what happens. If it continues, seek legal advice - a strongly worded letter from an attorney will definitely get them cracking! I am a little skeptical about the fact that they will not tell you what they are doing to remedy the situation. In my book, that means that they really aren't doing anything. Thus, you need to document everything so when you threaten to sue them, they will take you seriously because they know that you've created a paper trail.

Good luck! Give you DD lots of hugs and kisses - she needs and deserves them!

what a difficult situation. your daughter sounds articulate and intelligent. good for her. name-calling and threats (such as toilet papering your house or any other intimations of menacing actions) are bullying and i'm glad the school is being pro-active.
the privacy laws are quite real.
it's a tough call for the school too. i'm glad bullying is taken seriously these days, but it's a very, very hard line to draw. is speaking in a sarcastic tone 'bullying'? i would say not, but a lot of people disagree. so now sarcasm and tones have to be carefully defined, which does indeed make the 2nd amendment pretty shaky.
it's an unpleasant situation for your daughter no matter what and i'm glad she has involved, supportive parents and a vigilant school staff to help get her through. but you must know and you must prepare her for the fact that no policing can (or should) totally insulate anyone from ill-feelings. until it blows over, she's going to get glares and mutterings and snotty comments. your best bet is to help her continue to deal with them calmly and maturely. she doesn't have to be meek or 'take it' but there's no point in prolonging her discomfort by trying to forestall every possible negative reaction which can have the exact wrong effect by escalating the drama.
hope it goes well.
khairete
S.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things -- keep it up and keep in touch with the school to make sure they are following up and relaying any pertinent info to you.

Encouraging your daughter to keep up for herself is the best thing you can to. If she begins to act like a victim or if she lets on that she feels threatened, the bullying will continue because the other kids will see that it works. If she holds her ground, it's likely that some other teenage drama will come along in no time for the other kids to focus on and she will be off the hook.

Good luck!

J., you are lucky that you live in a small town and that it's a small school. The law officials have time to take this seriously - in fact, they can actually talk to all these parents.

I realize you are worried about the cost to your daughter, but this is a learning experience for the entire school. Kids frequently ignore the real-life problems of allowing poor teachers in the classroom because they aren't mature enough to realize that a person who doesn't do their job, no matter how likeable they are, lowers standards across the board. These same kids, when they grow up, will want a teacher JUST LIKE THIS ONE to be fired because he or she isn't teaching their children. Preparation for college and a good job/career after school trumps a popular "coach" any day of the week.

The kids decided they needed a scapegoat because treating an adult like this would get them in trouble. What is very important is that the school treats this as more of an offense than if they had facebooked stuff about the superintendent.

Make sure that you don't mention to others about the reasons outside of poor teaching (you mentioned that in your other post, I think). You don't want people making stuff up as to what those other things might be, and it would come back to bite you in the butt.

Tell your daughter to hold her head high and get through the week. Within the month all this will have blown over. And tell her to remember her REAL friends. I'd invite them over in a month or so for pizza and movies.

I hope that you have an adult friend who can monitor facebook on her own daughter's site, because it very well may be that several of these kids block your daughter from their fb so that she can't see what they say about her. And THESE are the things you shoud monitor.

Hugs to your daughter.
Dawn

While the timing of the initial events sucks, your daughter did nothing wrong. She has no reason to be ashamed, hang her head, or be afraid. Based on your two postings, it sounds like the administration is doing all they can. I think its great that the staff is being so supportive. There is a fine line tho. If every little thing is reported, kids may stop talking to her at all or even turn it to where they are picking on her BECAUSE the staff is supporting and protecting her. Again, its a fine line so just be mindful.

I guarantee that not every student feels bad about that teacher leaving. Everyone likes an easy class like that at some point. Its just that the 'cool' kids liked him so they aren't going to speak up. Are there some older students, perhaps friends with your oldest, that can help stand up for her? You know the whole, if a Junior or Senior that is popular thinks that she's okay, then she must be okay.

I really don't have any advice, but I did want to say that it sounds like your daughter is a very intelligent, articulate young lady. You should be proud of her for standing her ground and not letting the bullies see that this is wearing on her. (Heck, I'm proud of her!)

Tell her to keep her chin up and even if she feels like crying or running or whatever, not to let these bullying idiots see. *hugs* to her and to you, her wonderful, supportive mama!

The school needs to initiate a No Tolerance policy on bullying if they haven't already. For clarity sake, your daughter being harassed IS BULLYING. And the harassment is illegal. Continued harassment is illegal. Continued bullying that the school doesn't prevent ... well, the school owes it to your daughter to protect her and any other student that doesn't feel safe from bullies.

The thing is that these kids are likely hearing discussion about this teacher between their parents. They're not just letting the situation go and they're pushing the issue. It probably doesn't help that the new history teacher is going to make it a point to be the exact opposite of the fired teacher, which the kids won't like.

The school should initiate a program where the social workers and school psychologists talk to the students about harmful language and interactions, and consequences for bullying. Not just consequences in school, but emotional and social long term consequences to those they bully. These kids think they're justified in what they're doing, and they view your daughter as the bad guy getting punished for what she "did" even though you know she did nothing at all.

I don't know... does your town have more than one high school? Is there any way you could apply her for a transfer to another district?

I cannot stress enough (as I have in other posts on this same topic) that bullying in schools is a COMMUNITY issue. The school needs to address it to the entire student body and make it clear that it's not okay from the ground up.

When students start standing up for one another and bullying is unacceptable to all the students in the school, it stops.

The overall tenor of the school should be "we don't accept this behavior in OUR school." Continuing to single out students is only going to mean that your daughter will be resented and picked on by others for the duration of her high school career. I suggest talking to the principal about a NO BULLYING curriculum/program for the entire school. There are plenty of schools who've adopted such a policy and it works.