Using Bad Language

At this age, children simply repeat what they hear. If you want the child to use intelligent language, then that is what they need to hear. If they hear vulgarities and obscene language, then that is what they will repeat.

Yes the child needs to be taught not to speak that way, but whoever he is around that is teaching this to him also needs to grow up.

1-2-3 Magic.
It is an eye opening read, and it works.
You can pick it up online for under $10, and read most of it in an afternoon.

To repeat the first poster, all the adults need to be working together on this. If you have one parent who doesn't feel the need to correct poor behaviors and reinforce proper behaviors, then you will have problems.

I would get the book, read it, then hand it to my daughter and let her know that you expect her to read it. Then TALK about what you read.. and work out a plan to talk with your grandson about the "new rules of the house". Once you and your daughter have read it, have your husband skim through it too (men don't often want to do this sort of thing- reading parenting techniques-- but if he will skim through, he will at least get the idea of what you are doing and not "muck it up".. lol)
It works quickly, and easily. But you have to follow the rules of the book (and they are SO SIMPLE).. Basically, you don't argue with the child. Period. Which means that if they do something wrong, they are corrected, and if the behavior continues they are disciplined... the end (no yelling, whining, explaining or crying/begging - from the ADULTS). It doesn't take them long to figure out that they aren't accomplishing much by continuing the bad behavior. It is amazing.
I tried it with my 2 (6 and 9 yrs) and within 2 days it was so much more pleasant to be around them, because I didn't get sucked into the "arguing my position and settling the disputes between them" vortex. All you have to do is count. "That's one." They do it again.. "That's two.".. I only had to say "That's three, take 5 in your room" ONE TIME. After that, I never got past "That's two" again...

Hi there, this may sound really harsh, but it is what we had to do with my daughter when she was younger & it worked. She is 10 right now, very bright & well adjusted so I know it did not hurt. lol! My daughter was such a BAD child from the day she was born. We didn't know what to do with her b/c she was defiant in everything that she did. We finally had to use soap in her mouth when she would say things to us that were not acceptable. We also used tabasco sauce. A tiny bit on the tongue just to let her know that the things that come out of mouth must be kind. It was so hard to do as a parent, but I kno neither of them hurt her, but I tell you, she didn't want it to happen so it took 2 times with the tabasco for her to realize that I was going to follow through when she said things that were not acceptable & we bit it in the butt, after having to fight forever, doing other things. Again, it may sound so mean to some parents, but sometimes we have to do things we don't like to help our kids understand that we are serious. Good luck!

I respoded to your other post.
It seems as though some RULES and EXPECTATIONS need to be introduced and enforced in your house!

there needs to be SERIOUS consequences for his choices of rude behavior!
take away TV, video games and all things he enjoys!
he then needs to EARN them back by choosing to use his MANNARS.

try to catch him exhibiting behaviors you DO like.

you need a reward system - this system needs to be in place w/ ALL adults- nothing will work if mom says one thing and grandparents say another! you can buy one at www.accountablekids.com OR google 'free incentive charts' or 'free behavior charts' and just make your own.
also read Magic 1--2-3.
these 2 things will help.

good luck!

I went through something similar with my 3yr old nephew. I babysit sit him and when he first started coming he was using bad language. I was getting embarrassed when people would come over and he would say ugly words. I had tried time out, taking play time away, and low an behold soap. Nothing seemed to work. Then one day he walked up to me and told me he was going to beat my a** b****, I turned and looked at him and said " ughhhhh what potty mouth you have thats nasty" and turned away from him. He tried talking to me and I told him I am sorry I don't talk to someone with a potty mouth. You can tell he understood what I said to him, so everytime he would say a ugly word I would tell him he had a potty mouth and that was nasty after about a week he said no more. My sis-n-law began to see he wasnt using them at home either and one day his sister said a ugly word and he turned to her and said "ughhhh sissy you have a potty mouth thats nasty" at first they all thought it was funny. I told my sis-n-law if they laugh about it he was gonna start again, they had to try to watch what they said around him and if they slip and he tells them that they have a potty mouth apologize for using the word and go on. I am happy to say we are 9 months of no ugly words..If you try this I hope it works for you...
L.

My youngest was in the shopping cart while I pushed him through the grocery store. We passed another mom with child in cart and my son shouted "Hey Asshole!"
I calmly asked "what does that mean?"
He (maybe 3 years old then) replied "I don't know, but Kevin (his older brother) calls me that all the time"

So, rather than act shocked, bewildered, embarrassed, upset, it was a gift from one of my angels to act calm and ask the child what are you saying?

I do allow my children to say F, but not in public, no way to me as an affront or to their siblings. We go right to the root cause of the anger or frustration.
And we as adults have plenty to freak out about in our current situations. Children pick up on this. We all have.

Children are enduring out-dated teaching methods while they are learning the most high-tech modalities in the lifetime of this planet.
Is he angry? foul language is a release of tense energy.
But not appropirate in public or as an affront.
So, let's go play...put on the music and dance, act out, run, throw ball, get back to simple energy release...
and kids want to be with "their own kind"; but encourage them to seek a higher energy...

J., he is learning this from somewhere; find out where and try to limit his access to that source if you can....or speak to the person (adult) who is teaching him these bad habits and ask them to tone it down when he is around.

I'll just repeat the same thing thats been said by at least a couple posters. He learned it from somewhere!

Let him know it is wrong and you will not put up with it. I generally use a method that works well for the individual child, and try to avoid physical punishment as there are plenty of other ways discipline can be handled. Then try to find out where it was heard, you may know that already. Address the people using foul language in front of the child. He doesn't need to hear it and neither does anyone else. I think the people he is copying are far more to blame than he is, but he still needs to learn appropriate behavior, and that is innapropriate.