G., all of us parents face this "addiction" to video games, especially with boys - they are more visual and drawn into the games. That is why their dad sees no harm. Stand your ground with their dad, and stop at nothing to protect your 4 year old from unsupervised gaming!! Because there IS HARM, and there must be limits. He is only 4. Studies have shown that preschool children who are exposed to too much hi-speed screen time are more prone to become hyperactive and develop ADD and ADHD. My pediatrician says to be strict: 2 hours total screen time per day - MAX - PERIOD. You can let your son choose, whether it's TV or games. Set rules and stick to them. Another issue is that video games create such cranial excitement to their young minds, so that everything else becomes "boring" to them. My 5 year old is saying this now, only after he was exposed to video games from his older brothers. Since then, THEY decided to give up video games for lent. They have been having more fun playing together and doing more creative things. Children need time to play outside, be in fresh air and nature, to play ball, develop coordination and physical skills. My doctor says he forces his kids, for every hour on video, they have to play outside an hour. I see the other downsides of video games: it makes my kids lazy, and it makes them mouthy, talk-back and agressive. When they start back talking, I put them on video vacation. No videos and they have to earn it back. They have learned what the videos have done to their own behavior, and I see them accusing one another if they get out of hand. I also have huge concerns about content of the games. Be very cautious about it. The ratings mean what they say, but don't just trust them - WATCH the games and if there is any forbidden content, remove the game. Games are not ALL bad. They contain challenging puzzles that help them develop good problem solving. But highly restrict or eliminate games that contain alot of violence. I will tell you why. Ask yourself what your child is learning to do with this game. My opinion on especially the Wii games where they physically act out, if there is killing going on. You are allowing your child to PARTICIPATE in virtual killing of a human being? Children cannot separate fantasy from reality until they are older. As a parent, is this what you want their fantasies to be? It makes me so angry at game companies that they can find no better variety of content. That's why I am very careful what I allow them to play. I have thought thru all this because I have 3 sons, aged 8,7 and 5, and we have worked thru all this. I also limit all games that contain dragons, and any form of sorcery, witchcraft or spells - no matter how harmless it appears. I hope this helps.
J. B