Walking Around Money and Business Question...

Let me first comiserate with you - "jerk!" Ok now that is out of the way - LOL!
Seriously, before you consider raising rates, do a cost analysis of other child care centers/home care centers in your area. Also, if you have staff, see what the going rate is for staff and do a hard, self-evaluation of what you are charging.
Have you ever raised rates? When was the last time, etc.
then if based on your research, you really do need to raise, tell parents about two to three months in advance that rates are changing in March for example - then any new families that come in - they have to pay the new, published, rate.
I may also look at changing your hours if you are working 24 hours a day. Most centers open at 6:30 am and close at 6. if you have a big third -shift population where the children need somewhere to sleep, etc. they need to be paying a shift differential and get some help in there.
If alfter all this research, the job just isn't panning out financially - fold and make hubby use that 'walking money' on covering all the bills!!

Wow. If he makes enough for potential 2500.00 per month BLOW MONEY....you need to quit your job, period, and focus on your child and grandchild and let him pay the bills. I know you love childcare, but really? No way would I have to beg my husband for 'his' money when he's walking around with an extra 2500.00 per month!!! He better darn well just fork it up!

Sorry but you guys do not have an equal partnership at all. Your money should be his and his your. This would be a HUGE dealbreaker for me. He is extremely selfish and you guys should at the very least seek counseling-this is horrible in and of itself but is most likely a symptom of larger problems in your marriage.

I do not work and have never once felt even a single little bit that my husbands money that he earns was not 50% mine and that is how my husband feels as well. I have never even paused befor ebuying something thinking I didn't "earn" it. When 2 people love and respect eachother and are truly equal than there is no mine/yours it is only ours. And to think that he can sit there and watch you sweat out your bank account and not help you is terrible! Seriously-that is NOT love.

And $500 bucks per week-----HUGE red flags. Look into what he is up to.

Wow. The fact that you've managed to stay married for 26 years with such a huge unresolved problem is remarkable. I can't begin to figure out how you've managed to stay together (love, inertia, stubbornness?) but here you are. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership. At some point, the idea of "yours" and "mine" is supposed to become "ours." It doesn't sound like he thinks that way, and $500 a week of unaccounted for spending is ridiculous. If he's going to have that much "walking around" money, he needs to be transparent about how he's spending it, period. I don't care how much he earns, it doesn't give him the right to spend money as he pleases on who knows what (gambling, drinking, strippers, a girlfriend)?

On the other hand, I can kind of see his point about your business. My husband is self employed and works a ridiculous number of hours to earn half of what I earn - he makes less than minimum wage when we factor in all of his hours. Sometimes he sleeps 4-6 hours because he is working the rest of the day. I have absolutely no sympathy for him, though, because this is the line of work that he chose. If your business model is a failure, you are responsible for that. Either figure out how to make it more profitable or accept that you are digging yourself into a financial hole. $20K per year is what you could make watching one child 8 hours a day. If you watch more than one child and have extended hours, you should be making more than that. Find out what the market rate is in your area and price yourself accordingly. And I hope your grandson's parent(s) are paying you something for daycare - if that's your profession and he is taking a spot that another paying family could take, you're being too generous. You certainly don't have to charge your own family market rate, but no one should get free childcare.

I think you should find a counselor who specializes in communication and money issues. There is no way I could live with such inequality in my marriage, and I don't know how you've managed to let this go on so long. Also, what about retirement? Do you have a plan for that?

I am sooo sorry your husband is treating you this way! Marriage is not supposed to be like this. He should be sharing the wealth--not his money and your money. There is no excuse that you couldn''t go on your spiritual retreat! Can he go to counseling? He sounds incredibly selfish to me. Definitely talk to him- you shouldn't have to raise rates in order to have walking around money!

M

I think you are in the middle of a very unfair situation.

In a way, I can relate b/c my husband makes a lot more than me (I work PT) but after I pay what we have decided I will cover with my pay, gas for my car and some extra--I'm busted by payday.
HOWEVER, my husband certainly doesn't get $500 "walking around money" per week! Maybe $30-50. And the weeks I'm short, he gladly covers the groceries, etc. And he will fill up my gas tank--basically whatever I say I need. I'm not O. to throw money around so if I tell him I need XYZ, he doesn't question it.
In your case, it almost sounds like a power trip or something.
Sorry, I think $500/week money to "blow" is ridiculous--but it probably depends on what he's making--if he earns so much, maybe it seems like a little to him? Not sure.
AS for time off, can you schedule a week or two in the summer WAY ahead so that your clients can plan for that? That doesn't sound unreasonable to me. What sounds unreasonable is that your husband is acting like he doesn't have a spouse/family to consider.
Would a budget hep?

Wow. Our nanny works easy 10 hour days (kids are in school a lot) and makes about $50k a year with lots of vacation, paid sick etc. We're in a more expensive area but I'd think you could make about $25k as a nanny in your area... Why in the world do you work 24 hours a day? No one does that. I agree with some people that you've designed a very impractical, inefficient etc work situation. My husband and I somewhat keep separate bank accounts but only bc they're a carryover from being single and to be honest, we don't have a tight monthly budget at all so it doesn't really matter. In a marriage where money isn't free flowing, how in the world are things so unequal? It should all be your money together. Otherwise how is it really a marriage? Finally, yes, $500/week is insane. We're technically wealthy and I'd be furious if my husband spent that. Maybe it includes lunch and gas in which case it's not all walking around money as those are necessities but it's still ridiculous. I'm not sure what advice I have for that bc maybe your husband is just fixated on it and not the type to listen to reason. But please fix your work situation. People must be taking advantage of you.

Okay, your husband has a seriously skewed view of money. So he expects to have $2500 extra money per month to spend on whatever he wants?!! First of all, that is more than we've ever made per month as a total income (for a family of four), so for him to see it as just extra money to spend on HIMSELF is pretty selfish.

Why are your expenses separate? I can understand if your expenses for the daycare are separate because it is a business, but your personal expenses/incomes are separate, too? Shouldn't it be "our" money instead of his and hers? Isn't that what happens when you are married; you share a life together, which includes money and responsibilities for the house and everything?!

I think you need to have a major talk with your husband. He is being extremely selfish, and you need to talk about why he doesn't want to help you and puts so much financial burden on you when he can clearly afford to help you (and in my opinion he should have no problem helping you since he is your husband). Good luck, and I really hope you are able to work things out, because it sounds like you are under a lot of stress.

Wow! That's a tough one. My husband works full time and I'm a SAHM. I do have a few kids that I babysit for a couple times a week (currently trying to get more). We decided long ago that we would have one bank account. We share everything, so why not our money? I do all the finances in the house. I'm the one that pays the bills and decides how much "extra" money we have. If I left it up to him, he'd blow the whole thing. I don't quite understand how things are working in your house. Do you file your taxes seperately? And if so, why? You get a much larger return if you file together.

If you insist on keeping your accounts separate, you should at least have one joint account for household expenses. Figure up how much your bills are each month. Then determine what is a fair percentage for you both to contribute to the bills. Just use the account for household things like mortgage, electric, gas, etc.

And if he's going to get snippy and expect you to pay for things, then make sure he knows that it's YOURS. If you have to buy groceries, then he's not allowed to eat YOUR food.

It sounds like he's being super selfish, to be honest. I get the impression that he's looking for a free ride.

http://www.turningpointservices.org/Domestic%20Violence%2...

He is emotionally abusive and using money to control you. You need couples counseling and he needs to learn to share. If he gets $500/week of spending money so do you.

I only sleep five hours per day but I am in medical device sales. I have commented to you before that you are completely under paid. You are too nice to some of their clients and watch their children for many days over night without making any money. It is wonderful that you are looking out for those in a bind but this is your business. I think you should have more than two days off per year, that is insane but you set your schedule. Would it be better to place a higher dollar value on the care you provide and work more structured hours?

Both of you need to go to a financial counselor, both for your relationship as well as your business.

I'm only a small in-home preschool and as a rule, I raise my tuition rates 3% every year. I can't imagine how draining 24/7 care would be. Please consider talking to someone about restructuring your business so that it honors your home and family life. I say that with sincere empathy. Two days off a year is not right. Your family needs time alone together, to vacation, or even just down time.

You and your husband have set up a very inequitable arrangement financially. Couples who make a choice to be joined in marriage are often subject to "community property" laws when they divorce. There is a reason for this: the two married partners should be practicing community with each other. This typically means pooling one's financial resources for the best outcome for the entire family.

I'll keep my opinions of the exorbinant (oops, that was an opinionated word!) proposed $500 'walking around' money to myself, but ask-- does he have a gambling addiction, or need to buy oxygen frequently (that's a joke)? This level of entitlement seems to signal some sort weird, flawed thinking about both your resources and your relationship. A financial (and possibly marriage) counselor sounds very necessary.

Good luck. And in answer to your question: do both. Raise your rates (give your families some notice, but it's high time!) and press that point--- hard!

You don't have a money problem you have a marriage problem. It should not be "my" money it should be "our" money. My husband has always made more than me but he always refers to his income as our income. Ya'll need to sit down together and make a written detailed budget and then no one spends 1.00 over that budget without a meeting. Start by reading The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey and then attend his class Financial Peace University. Both you and your husband have to do it together, if you don't then you need to attend marriage counseling.