Walking Zombie Mom

Healty Sleep Habits Happy Child was my sanity. When I would sit at their bedroom door and be on the verge of going in I would reread the book. I still can't part with my copy.

Check out the book 'Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby' for ideas about changing the schedule. It helped with my last. The book recomends crying it out, which I'm not into, but the other suggesetions about the schedule really helped.

Also try swaddling. Or if you are comfortable try tummy sleeping. I know they say to back sleep them (with sids and all) but tummy really helps them sleep. I got an angel monitor for the crib and feel better about tummy sleeping them with it.

How frustrating! It sounds as if you may have an overtired little one on your hands. I highly recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. It takes a bit of work, and consistency, but it worked for me!
Good luck!

I know that it sounds harsh and it is extremely hard on the mom but my pediatrician said at 4 months old you should start to let them "cry it out". I had to do this with two of my three children but my first son was the hardest. He sounded very similar to your little one. My doctor recommended doing it this way..... Complete all of your bedtime techniques in the babies room where it is darker and quiet. Be consistent every night os your baby starts to understand the routine leading to bed time. Once your baby has all of their needs met lay them down in their crib, kisses and hugs and reassurance. Walk out and close the door. Let your baby cry for 10 minutes. (longest 10 minutes of your life) Then return to your baby. Do NOT pick the baby up. Just soothe him verbally and rub his stomach or head for a couple of minutes. Leave again and wait for 15 minutes this time. Go back and repeat the same soothing process. Continue this way increasing the time you stay out by 5 minute increments each time. Do this until he goes to sleep. Be consistent and don't give in. If you do it will be 100% harded the next time because he will know if he cries long enough you will get him. Repeat the exact same process EVERY night. My first son cried for almost 2 hours the first night. The second night was only an hour and by the fourth night he no longer cried!I know that it is extremely hard but hang in there. Sleep will come!

Hi,
I noticed that no one mentioned Ferber's "How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems." It's a great book and when Weissbluth's didn't work for us, we turned to the Ferber and hit a home run. Our daughter slept in her crib early on so we didn't have that issue but getting her sleep organized and into longer stretches was a struggle. And if you've already tried the "cry it out" method, then you've already tried Weissbluth. Hope this helps!

S.

Although it may be hard right now have your husband help you read Dr. Weisbluth's book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby. It will give you the strength and support you need to help your little guy get the sleep he needs. Good Luck!

Here it goes. I can't remember every deatil but I hope my story helps you. My son never slept more than 20 minutes at a time. He would only sleep if he was attached to my boob! I knew he didn't have any self soothing skills and I would have to wait until he was 4 months to train him. I called the doctor on his 4 month birthday, asked him how long can i let him cry. He said it is not how long it is can you let him cry! He said babies can figure out what one hour or three hours is until they know you will be back. On his 4 month birthday I put him in bed at 7, he never slept in his bed before. I left him until 7 a.m, he cried for 12 hours, yes 12. The second night, 3 and a half, the third 1 and a half, and for a few weeks he cried for thirty minutes. He started sleeping more than 12 hours a night. Then I started the nap schedule, something like up for two then down for 2, up for three and then a nap around 2. To bed at 7. I knew when the naps would be and I could plan my life. It was hard work, and require earplugs. But everybody was so much happier, He was a new baby, happy and smiling, the complete opposite of his first 4 months of life. Good luck, if you need help email me direct and I will give you my phone number. M.

You could try an amby bed sold at www.amby.com I think. or google amby. It is like a hammock and is jpma certified and recommended by Dr. Sears. When he wakes and stirs it rocks either back and forth or side to side. I got one for my little sweetie and she loved it. Yes it cost $300 or thereabouts but it was so worth it. I leant mine to a friend. I could check in with her and see if she is still using it. Otherwise you would be welcome to borrow. To me $300 was well worth it for 2 months of sleep. Email me if you are interested in borrowing. Also have you read, "healthy sleep habits, happy baby" by Dr. Weisblut. I found that book great.

I am sorry I don't have any words of advice but I can say that I am going through the exact same thing with my 3 month old daughter and I'm a first time mom. Of course, I was doubting my abilities and that I must be doing something wrong but it seems it must our childs' temperaments since you have an older one who slept great. I hope you are finding consolation in that. I believe it will get better when we start to feed her solids at 6 months. I am breastfeeding and co-sleeping and I have read that babies sleep in the smallest increments in those circumstances. At the other end of the spectrum is a formula fed baby sleeping in a crib but neither of those would work for my little girl. We tried the Amby bed too. No go. Best wishes for more sleep in your future from another tired mommy.

I had the same issues with my son (now 6.5 months old). And it has gotten better for us. For the first (almost) six months of his life, he only would sleep in two hour increments. I tried co-sleeping, swaddling, pacifiers and white noise to help him sleep longer during the night, but he just was not ready until about one week before he turned 6 months old to sleep longer stretches. A Dr. Sears article on baby sleep really helped me to accept my son's sleep patterns, and it encouraged me to keep on parenting him well during the night. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp (Especially read night-time parenting lesson number 3 -- that really helped me!)
It does get better, and you will get some sleep as soon as baby is physically ready to sleep longer. We've never sleep trained him or let him cry it out either. We've just stuck with a consistent bed time and night-time routine.
For now if it's possible, maybe try to nap when both of your kiddos are napping. If your older one doesn't nap, you could ask him to play quietly in his bedroom while you and baby nap if you can trust him to do that and not get into trouble.
Hang in there! Sleep will come!

Here's some suggestions for sleep issues that I hope might be helpful for you.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

I'm glad your heart listens to his needs. I'm not a fan of the cry-it-out philosophy, because I believe that it teaches the babies that people can't be trusted or counted on. I also think about how I would feel if I was crying and my loved ones ignored me.

I would also recommend cutting all milk products out of your own diet. It can take a month for it to get out of your system completely, so don't give up if you don't see an improvement in a day or two. My first son nursed every hour all day and all night and was very colicky. We survived by sleeping together--I would just flip to the other side and nurse again, sometimes without really waking up. And no nighttime diaper changes for me (unless it was very necessary), or I would've been really sleep-deprived. But for my second baby, I quit all milk products as soon as he was born and he didn't have the colic.

But he did have trouble staying asleep for naps, once I put him down. So I got a sheepskin made especially for baby use, and that did the trick.

http://www.kiwi-sheepskins.com/sheepskin-baby-rugs.asp

http://shopping.msn.com/results/baby-nursery/bcatid4169/b...

And if he hates his crib and loves the swing, I would say don't put him in the crib and let him sleep where he likes to sleep. I think about how I'd feel if someone forced me to try to sleep in a bed that I hated. Also, this swing is supposed to be good for reflux, in case that's what he has...
http://www.askdrsears.com/amby.asp

I agree with the suggestion to try napping yourself whenever the baby naps. If you're afraid to sleep when your 4 yr old is awake and might get into something dangerous, you could combine all 3 of you in a room that has no toddler hazards and give the 4 yr old something quiet to do, and lock the door so that he can't escape while you're napping.

Best wishes.

PS Sometimes with my first son, who was so colicky, I would strap him into my front-pack baby carrier, prop myself up with pillows in the bed, and sleep with him strapped to my front that way. This kept his poor tummy warm and let me sleep without fearing that I might drop him.

My son was the SAME way! We were troubled as my first born, slept through the night right away as well! I was a zombie! It took until my son was a little bit older; when he was about 9 months (it will come soon) we finally did the Happy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child doctor recommendation and NOW my son is an awesome sleeper in his crib. I would have never believed it but it is true! It will get better! You will get sleep, one day! Good luck!

Oh my gosh, I could have written this myself! My son, now 5 1/2, was exactly the same infant. He didn't sleep through the night until he was 2, though he did start sleeping longer lengths at about 6 months. A couple of thoughts - my son had a crib phobia (not exaggerating in the least) and the day he turned 18 months we put his crib mattress on the floor and he learned to put himself to sleep without the panic. It was like a lightswitch....we're still baffled by it. Secondly, looking back now, he might have slept longer stretches if we had coslept. I was so against doing it because I didn't sleep as well with him by my side, but I think he might have slept longer if we had done it...double edge sword. All I can tell you is to start making a strict bedtime routine (bath, lotion, sing a song, get a bottle to go to sleep, whatever you'd like) and never veer from it. Most of all, call in the troops you have available during the daytime and get some rest when you can. Sleep deprivation can take you over.

Good luck and know that this will be something you look back at and laugh at one day.

A.

I have 4 month old twins who at the most would sleep 2-3 hours at a time. I told their doc that I was at my wits end...he advised me of two things: One, seperate them into different rooms, Two, take their binki's away. I am not sure if you have your four month old fall asleep with a binky or not...but take it away at night if you do...it worked wonders for us! The first night without a binky and being seperated they both slept from 6:30pm to 7:30am....it was a miracle!!!!!

It could be that the baby simply requires more food to help them sleep longer. Babyies wae up when then need a daiper change, hungry, or has gas. Make sure you burp well and give him maybe a little rice cereal (ask dr. first) in his bottle before bed. Don't forget to play with him. Exercise his little limbs, tickle, sing and rock, then warm bath, bottle and bed. Good luck mommy...the rest will come. Have hubby help by getting up at night with baby to chnge and rock back to sleep (at least on weekends. He made the child too).

I would try three things.
First, if gas pains are waking him in the middle of the night, you might try eliminating dairy from your diet. Some babies can't tolerate even the small amount of cow's milk you pass through your breastmilk. Or if you are formula feeding, your baby may not be able to tolerate the type.
Second, you could keep him up more during the day, and don't allow any napping after 4pm, if you want him asleep by 8:00pm.
Third, find some helpers so you can get some rest. Your husband can help out more at night. He may be the one with "the full-time job", but you do, too, with two kids to watch during the day. My husband was in charge of middle of the night diapers, and I did the middle of the night nursings. If neither got our daughter back to sleep, he would take her downstairs and hold her while he watched tv. Also, maybe a friend or family member can play with the kids for a few hours while you nap. Even a 12-year old neighborhood girl could be a mother's helper while you are in the house resting. I used to take lots of naps with my daughter on the weekend, while my husband took our son places like Brookfield Zoo or DuPage Children's Museum. This was a great experience for all of us.
This situation will get better for you soon. Good Luck and know that a huge community of moms supports you and your sacrifices!

I am not a fan of the cry it out/ Ferber method. My son is just like yours bad sleeping waking up every 2 hours - bad naps. I tried to let him cry it out (actually my husband did) and he cried all the louder- up to 2 plus hours!!! Some kids are stubborn and the cry it out method is not as simple for these kids (many times it doesn't work for certain kids- as you have tried yourself). I would recommend Dr Sears "The fussy baby book" (get it from the library). It talks about how these babies are very intelligent and they need a bit more care. They won't fall for the cry it out method- they only get more persistent. [more than anything this book was comforting to me and made me feel like I wasn't alone and helped me to be more patient with my child]

Another good book was Elizabeth Pantley's "no cry sleep solution" She gives SO many ideas on how to get your child to sleep in a gentle way.

Also I have learned the hard way, that children can get in the habit of waking up for the bottle/ breastfeeding/ pacifier. This can be a problem and be a reason for them to continue getting up. (Are one of these a possible factor?).

I will say also at 4 mo- I know it is tough, but this is really normal and you were lucky with the first one!

When my child was Older I was nursing and had to cut out a nursing session (I took out one feeding and reinforced this over a few days, then took out another one). I took 3 days or so to make a small change. First day was hardest, the rest were easier. Making small changes is easiest on your child and may be easier to do as well. [If you have to cut out pacifier/ nursing/ bottle] I still think at 4 mo this is way to early if you are nursing (maybe even bottle) as they need the nourishment.

I did co-sleeping to make it easier on myself so I could get back to sleep quickly after taking care of my child. [This was the best solution for me so I could get more sleep - get back to sleep quicker] Then later on you can try to night wean little by little.

[If it is just the pacifier that is keeping this child up- this shouldn't be as big of a deal to try to remove this as they are not getting food, so don't feel guilty at removing this (but do it slowly so it is easier for you and easier for them- they might not resist as much). Kids get used to the way things are and it takes a few days to change habits]

So many people said - don't worry he'll seep through the night soon, but sometimes they get used to waking. Right now honestly though- at 4 mo. This is normal. Sometimes they start sleeping better when they start solids (which doctors now recommend at 6 months).

You can try cereal, but I won't myself as it can cause allergies (but this is what our parents generation did and many of us are ok) - so I is up to you and this option helps many people. I think most babies are ok with this option tough and it might help you.

Also the swaddling - my son should have been swaddled tighter- this helps them feel secure and helps them sleep longer (the nurses would swaddle those little ones so tight you'd think you are cutting off blood- but you aren't. You are just mimicking the atmosphere in the womb.)

Some one suggested the amby bed. I would so suggest this!!! It can help put the baby back to sleep. I was going to purchase this with my son, but my husband was bothered because we just bought a crib. If I had to do it again- I would fight for it as when they don't sleep as well as other kids might, it is sometimes hard to come up with a solution.

All I can say is at 4 mo. this is still early and not uncommon. If it was a 6 mo old I'd say solid foods might help. If it was a 9 mo old- maybe night weaning/ bottle weaning. Unfortunately right now you may likely have this issue for a few more months (Sorry to say).

Right now in the mean time, see if some one can watch your child for a bit so you can get a nap or some rest. I also had to nap when my child napped- even though it wasn't for that long.

Oh, I'm having flashbacks to my first child. She got me up every two hours or less for months on end. At one point I started hallucinating I was so tired.

I kept her in a bassinette by my bed until she was 7 months old (I know bad idea...but I didn't know). I was new and paranoid I wouldn't hear her stop breathing or something...who knows. Anyway, every peep from her I would pat her bottom, stick a pacifier in her mouth or pick her up to see if she wanted to nurse....I didn't wait for her to really cry or anything. I couldn't stand to hear it.

She too would sleep for an hour or so during the day and more if I put her in her swing. I would go for long walks in the middle of winter (I would throw a blanket over her stroller to block the wind). She loved it and would often fall asleep the whole time we walked. It kept me awake because I was so exhausted and I felt like I was getting some of the 50lbs I gained off.

It was terrible. I would cry sometimes with the pillow over my head trying not to hear her after we put her in her crib. I knew she should be sleeping about six hours at a stretch at that point, but she didn't. I trained her to depend on me to get back to sleep. I nursed her when she didn't need it. I stuffed that pacifier in her mouth with every whimper. I patted her butt and held her little hand everytime she wiggled. To this day if she wakes from a dream or something she can't go back to sleep until I tuck her back in...and she's five. Believe me I didn't make the same mistakes with the second one...but then again she was a totally different child so maybe it wasn't so much what I did different as much as it was she was different.

Some things I eventually did to get my first to sleep in that crib.

1.) Bad mommy that I am, I put her on her tummy. She didn't sleep on her back well...even as an infant when she was all bound up. Mommy doesn't sleep on her back and she's 40. I never have.

2.) I started using a humidifier in her room every time I put her down. It provided more humidity in her room (which I think helped because it is so dry here in the winter) and it was a very old humidifier and it made noise like an idleing semi-truck. For some reason that child slept like never before from the moment I used it. I don't know if it covered background noises that interested her and woke her up (she's the type that doesn't want to miss a thing)...or if it was just soothing.

3.) At about 8 months or so after being up for every two hours I couldn't take it anymore. So I started going in when she would cry...I would gently lay her down on her tummy, lightly swat her diaper and tell her no, no...it is night, night time...go to sleep. I would walk out and listen to her scream for 15 minutes and then go back and do it all over again. I read somewhere that I needed to go in every 15 minutes just to reassure her that I hadn't abandoned her, but not to pick her up at all. It took about four times the first night. Then three or so the second night. The one or two the third night. And then she started sleeping about six hours straight from then on....once in awhile she would revert and try to get me up, but I would do the routine and that was that. She learned we don't get up all hours every time we wake up. It was tough, but so great when I started getting a full nights rest.

4.) Oh and I took her pacifier away. For awhile I began to think the thing was invented by the devil himself to torment new parents. I would have to search the floor two or three times a night to find it and rinse it and put it back in her mouth. She got a runny nose about the time I put her in her crib...and I gave her something to help dry it up and it knocked her out...so I took the opportunity to take the pacifier away. After two days she didn't even seem to remember it. The second child used hers until two with no problems. If it fell out she didn't care. And at two we talked her into throwing it away and that was that.

5.) My hubby helped at times because he would give her a bottle of formula at around 9pm and I would race off to bed. She would sleep for about three or four hours and if I got off to bed early enough I might get four hours of straight sleepl. Heaven!!! Never thought I would be thankful for four hours of sleep.

Most doctors will tell you that an infant should sleep for about six hours at about three to four months of age, but I think they are generalizing too much. Some do and some don't. I'm 40 now and expecting number three in May. Not looking foward to the all nighters, but I am thrilled about a new addition to our family. I just keep praying "Lord I'm 40 please give me a baby that sleeps."

It has always bothered me when people say things like "oh, all of mine slept all night from the day I brought them home." I always want to ask if they gave them a spoon full of whiskey before bedtime. That was a tactic they used in 17th century London to keep babies sleeping while mom went to work in the factory.

So I hope one of the tactics might be something you can use. And I do sooooo sympathize with you. When you are up all hours of the night remember S. admitted that she cried as much as the baby for a few months. I got so embarrassed my husband would hear me that I changed that to praying out loud and singing soothing songs (more for my sanity...I love Amazing Grace...I know the whole thing and keep on the Sunnyside of Life. Printed them off the internet and memorized them one stanza at a time).

There were times I would look out my bathroom window and I would see the back neighbors light on. I don't know why that made me feel better, but it did. Just knowing someone else was up at that ridiculous hour helped. Then I would walk back into my room and hear my hubby snoring and just growl as I got into bed for a short catnap.

S. understands. I so understand.

My little guy would only sleep in maybe 2 hour increments at night and wasn't a very good napper. I know how you feel and it will get better. It may be best not letting him nap so well during the day so that he will sleep better at night. We also starting giving our guy a little rice cereal in with his breastmilk just right before bedtime. That seemed to help him get on schedule. And maybe don't let him nap in the swing, but at night let him sleep in the swing. I know lots think it's a bad habbit to get into, but especially with a toddler, you need to get some sleep.

Does he spit-up? Like big time spit-up? My now almost 3 year old daughter had acid reflux and spent the first 6 to 8 weeks sleeping 1 to 2 hour increments on my chest in the chair. At 4 months we discovered she had acid reflux and put her on medicine and it helped greatly, but she was so in the habit of being up and needing to nurse that she continued to be up every couple of hours. It took two months to break her to her crib in her room - and lots of hours awake or sleeping in the chair again. But even today she averages being up 2 to 3 times a night and although she out grew her crib and moved to a twin bed, she prefers to sleep on the couch outside our bedroom. Crying out never worked for us either - she could go on forever and I'm suprised my neighbors didn't call complaining. Plus with her sensitive stomach we discovered that crying it out has other side affects, including puke.
Don't know if this is helpful, but now you are not the only one out there. It will get better, but in my house better means 3 hours of solid sleep in a bed. (I have two girls (almost 3 years & 16 months) and one boy (3 months).

Does your son spit up a lot? If so he could have baby heartburn that makes it uncomfortable to sleep. We also have a four month old son who was having trouble in the crib due to congestion. He spent about 5 weeks sleeping in his vibrating bouncy chair. I went to Target and bought this contraption that you put under the crib matress to make it vibrate. It also has sound effects and we use the heartbeat sound. It is voice activated so if your sons starts to cry it will kick on the sound and vibration. Another thing you could try is reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" It is like the bible to good sleep. Good luck!

I'm wondering if he might be having acid refulx when he lies down (the fact that he sleeps longest in this swing was what made me wonder). If you are still breast feeding him, he could be allergic to something in your diet that bothers him and keeps him awake. Or he could be allergic to something in formula or whatever he is eating. Did his change in sleeping happen when you introduced a new food to him? Or to you? That's just one possible idea. Hope you find the cause and get some rest!

For the first month after my daughter was born we were so sleep deprived that I don't remember much, her constant crying and our arguments. Fortunately my mom was living with us. Sophie was on milk based formula, shortly after one week doc switched her to soy-based, I tried to bresfeed in the same time. She was sleeping for 10 to 30 minutes, waking up fussy and crying, she seemed to be constipated and gassy. Same at night. We tried everything, tummy massage, heated pads, baby yoga, bottle/nipple changing, natural remedies, swing, swaddling, white noise, vacuum cleaner sound. When suddenly she slept for one hour, we tried to repeat whatever was done before she fall aslep, didn't work again. Around her 2nd month birthday she has got a rush on upper body, face, then whole her. Doctor diagnosed soy sensitivity and recommended Nutramigen. It was one big "wow". She suddenly( less than 3 hours) changed into a regular baby. She set herself into two naps a day. She was sleeping throught the night, waking up twice than once. Just a little bit of fussines, no problems with stools. After I found out about MSG levels in Nutramigen, I had her on solids before 5 months, only organics and home made. As for calcium we did yoghurts, farmers cheese, sourcream, broccoli and liquid supplements. She is still sensitive to lactose and acid in food. I'm just so glad I did not let her CIO after initial 3,5 hours, she would be in pain and feel left out. Good luck, M..

that sounds like my son (now 7mo.). he would get up every 2-3 hours at night, and i would feed him every time. tiring!

i asked our doctor, and he suggested giving him one serving of baby cereal before bedtime along with his normal breast milk, and then let him cry. (close doors, turn monitors off, etc...)

i resolved to let him be in his crib at least 6 hours before getting him out. the first 2 nights were rough, but we made it.

i added all baby foods at 6mo. 3x a day, and he sleeps from 8-7am with one feeding at 5am. so for my son, food was the answer.

i also put him down on his belly which has helped my son since 2 months old. (i know the doctors tell you not to, but we survived, right?)

Our first-born was the same way - no naps and no night sleeping. He did better when we added rice to his evening bottles, and sometimes a gas reliever, too. Sorry to say, but at age 2, he's just starting to sleep like a "normal" kid! We did try letting him cry it out, and it would sometimes take over 20 minutes, but it did work eventually. It was very hard to tolerate though. Good luck!

Sleep deprivation is so rough!
Yes my second child was sleep challenged & colicky. I guess it was just about his sensitivity & he had to develop into his sleep habits. Crying it out didnt work for any of mine. They just became more distraught until they vomited. Sometimes the only way we could both sleep at night was with him plugged into my breast. At least I was blessed to be a SAHM too & I wonder how moms who work outside the home survive. My advice is to take your vitamins~especially B-12 for energy, do something active like go for a walk or exercise at least 3 times a week for 20-30 mins.~the hormone release helps you balance your moods & sleep whenever you can. Above all cut yourself a lot of slack around your housekeeping goals.
This too shall pass...

Hi - I have a 4 1/2 month old and he also does not sleep well. He just started to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time a few weeks ago but he does not sleep until 2 in the morning. Just last night he was SCREAMING from 11 pm until 2:30am for no reason - but he would not sleep -- I was so exhausted so I put him beside me in bed (which I haven't done in the past) and he finally sleep (from exhaustion I am sure) -- I have no answers but wanted to let you know you are not alone and everyone (those whose children sleep well) tells me it will get better -- have faith --- it has to get better. Enjoy the time that you do get to sleep. C.

Hi there! I am so sorry about the sleeping, it is SO tough! If you can stand the thought of a book, please try the "No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It's a smaller book and easy to read with many tips that you can implement pretty quickly. It helped me to reverse my daughter's nights and days,which she had switched, and get her to sleep longer hours at night.

I am wondering about two things:

Do you get him outside for a fresh air walk in the early morning? Doing so might help promote better night time sleeping

Second I wonder if he is going through a growth spurt and needs to feed more often. That was a pattern I noticed with my kids and generally accounted for changes in sleeping patterns. It does get better.

Wonder if you can periodically get child care so you can get a good nap during the day; it's hard to function when you don't get a solid chunk of sleep.

To Walking Zombie Mom,

I am a grandmother (3 children; 5 grandchildren). Does he want to eat when he wakes up? Breast fed babies eat every two hours or so. He might just be a big eater?

Man oh man, do I feel for you!! I'm dealing with a similar situation myself right now with a very strong-willed 4 mo old little girl. I think I've got this thing figured out now, though, so here goes. I, too, coslept with my girl for the first 3 1/2 mos. I started bc she screamed when I put her in her cradle and only wanted to sleep latched on to my nipple! I was convinced that the whole "cry it out" thing was cruel and it was my biggest fear. Your little one is probably not sleeping in the crib bc he doesn't know how to sleep. This sounds WEIRD but bear with me. It's actually something that has to be taught--it comes to some easier than others. I think being strong willed with really compassionate mommies makes it harder! :D
My girl would also sleep just fine in her swing or perhaps on her tummy on the couch for long snaps occasionally with me patting her bottom as she fell asleep. Usually, though, she only slept for 10-20 min.! The problem comes in when we've accidentally conditoned our kids to fall asleep under certain circumstances which they cannot replicate on their own. For mine it was the swing or being latched on to me. I had unknowingly conditioned her to wake up every hour or two and when she realized I was there or could latch back on, she'd go to sleep. W/o this she would scream. She thought she was awake for good when she woke up w/o me, she didn't understand or have the skill to just realize she was still tired and go back to sleep. She would fight it and get all worked up. First, you want to recognize and get rid of any maladaptive sleep associations you may have unwittingly set up. For example, being rocked in your arms, breast or bottle feeding, being in another room or someone else's bed, using a pacifier the child cannot replace, listening to music the child cannot restart. You are probably also positively reinforcing your child to keep waking up by rewarding him with being picked up something. It's REALLY HARD and I made all these mistakes. To avoid creating positive reinforcement for waking up, try to keep nighttime encounters short and boring, don't do unecessary diaper changes at night (just coat his butt with butt cream before going down if necessary so you don't feel guilty), try to drop nighttime feedings after 6 mo of age and follow a consistant bedtime routine every night at the same time or as close to it as possible. You can make it a routine of bathing and book reading or whatever but try to put him down awake when possible. He'll start to notice a routine develop and feel secure bc he knows what to expect. He needs to learn how to fall asleep and self-soothe. It's SO HARD but what keeps me going is knowing that if I give her these skills now she'll be a good sleeper and much happier in the long run. Until I started doing this my girl would scream every evening and I thought she was gassy, now she doesn't do that. She was over tired! Your best bet for a happy, well-rested kid is to get him sleeping in that crib every night and during the day put him down in it after he's been up for about 1 1/2 to 2 hours or when he shows drowsy signs. He's gonna fight you and make you feel so guilty, you'll swear he's in pain and developing abandonment issues! HE ISN'T!!!!!! I promise. (I realized I was projecting my own abandonment issues onto my kid by not allowing her to work this out with crying where necessary--your child is well loved and every need is tended to-he doesn't know what abandonment feels like and isn't upset that you aren't coming. He's angry bc that's not where he wants to be and is over-tired and unable to fall asleep)
You CAN do this. The first night I put her down and she laid there and screamed for 28 min. After she fell asleep she proceeded to wake up and scream every single hour. We let her scream and she would finally go back to sleep and this repeated all night. It was tough. The only time I picked her up was to nurse her every 3 or 4 hours and then I would put her right back down. The next day I was exhausted and to make matters worse she fought naps and even when she took them she had a hard time staying asleep for longer than 20-30 min. and she screamed and cried all day. Unfortunately, as their sleep deprivation becomes more apparent, things seem to get worse before they get better. I am SO grateful that I started this process on Thursday night bc if I had to do it by myself again the next day I would have thrown in the towel! Thankfully I know my hubby would be home with me Saturday. I also called my pastor's wife 2 or 3 times that first day for moral support! She has 4 older kids and had been through it. Thankfully, the second night was better. She slept for 2 hours at a time and the next day was in a MUCH better mood and went down for her naps better. By day three I was WOWED! The secret is to tell youself when he's screaming that you are teaching him an important skill and that if you go in there and even let him see you, you are prolonging the misery for him. That's what kept me going. That and I prayed that God would protect her during those times and give her peace. I actually sat outside the bedroom where she was and cried while she screamed. It was awful but the pay off is huge. When you want to go in there, call a friend or family member who has been there.
As for how things are going for us....
Things were looking up and then I weakened bc I missed sleeping with her and I let her nurse in bed with me at night--not a bad thing by itself except that we would fall asleep that way for a couple hours and then I would put her back in her crib. After doing this for a day or two she got used to falling asleep on the nipple again and now screams when put down again. On Saturday we put her down for a nap she had a screaming tantrum on and off for 2 hours. She cried, then slept for 15 min. then cried for an hour and then fell asleep again. I changed her diaper at one point afraid it was soiled only to learn that it was slightly wet. Mistake! I felt sooo bad bc I knew I had done this to her! When she is screaming her head off after not napping long enough, I go in and flip her over onto her tummy and she goes back to sleep and sleeps for a longer period. I think it is gas sometimes. It's hard to know! (I should also mention that I'm a freak about SIDS and so I have a small tv monitor that I watch her with when she naps on her tummy.) The other day I put her down for a nap and took a bath. She woke after only a half hour. I had to get dressed and get her ready to go anyway, so I went in there, leaned over the crib rail and looked down at her. NOw when I was in that tub she sounded like she was being stabbed! When I went in there she immediately stopped crying and smiled up at me!!!!!! Stinker!!! The long and short of it is that you need to put him in that crib and let him scream it out a few times until he realizes that it will do him no good and that once he's in there that's where he's gonna stay until he takes a decent nap. He WILL learn to fall asleep alone in the crib and he will learn to fall back asleep after waking at night. The key word is LEARN. It's a process. When my daughter wakes up crying and in a nasty mood after only 45min I put her back down on her tummy. She then wakes up later in a good mood. That's how I know whether she's had enough sleep or not. IF YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT STAND the crying---and I get that, he sounds persistant---you can go in every 20 min or so and pat him on the back to reassure him and then leave w/o talking to him or picking him up. I WARN YOU THOUGH that this will get him squawking even harder and the process will take much longer. Basically, it just makes it easier for you in the moment but harder all around in the end. You can feel HOPEFUL when you hear him take those breaks in screaming, even if they are only for 10-30 seconds. It means he's considering giving up and you definately don't want to go in then and undo all your HARD work. YOU CAN DO THIS!!! By the way, we use ear plugs. At night when you do this, just put an ear plug in the ear that isn't in your pillow so you can still hear him, just not as loud. I cannot stress enough how just taking the volume down goes a LONG way toward lowering the stress level. My hubby works outside the home AND goes to school so when she starts at night I just tell him to pop in those plugs so he can rest knowing I am tending to the situation since I stay at home to work as well. Don't feel guilty about ear plugs--a lot less babies would have shaken syndrome if every hospital sent parents home with ear plugs!!!Hope I've helped! God Bless!!!!!!! Let me know how it goes. You can email me if you need to. I'd be willing to give you number for support. IT GETS EASIER!~Katie

At least you had one good sleeper, mine have all been like this. They start bad and get worse and worse until at some point between three and four months I let them cry and then life is good. An hour is nothing. Mine have all gone at least 3 the first night. It takes less than a week and the change is amazing. My first cried 3 hours the first night, then 1 the second, then 15 minutes the third, then after that it was 5-10 min of fussing and then silence. It translated to her naps too, after we started nights the day naps got easier, I could just put her down and walk away. Make sure you have his bedtime early enough and give it at least five days. And you have to let him cry until he stops, you can't put a time limit on it. Sarah went from sleeping only in her swing and never more than an hour or two to 10-12 hours a night (waking to eat once or twice but going right back to sleep) with three naps totaling about 4-6 hours. It was amazing. Get the book Healthy Sleep Habits; Happy Child, it helped me a lot. Those are my words of encouragement and my success story (keep in mind that that's only one of the four kids I did this with, it worked with all of them, including the twins although that was twice as loud) get the book and good luck!!

My son was like yours. The good news is he sleeps beautifully now at 3 years old. That first year, though, was exhausting. Some things that worked for us:

warm the crib before you put him down. I used one of those bead filled warmers designed for muscle relaxation (I think it's called Therabeads). You heat it in the microwave then set it on the crib for a while to warm the spot where baby will sleep. That way baby doesn't go from warm mommy to cold crib. Of course, check the temp before you set baby down.

Baby massage as part of the bedtime routine. Be careful though, as some babies are stimulated by massage rather than relaxed.

If you think he may be teething or have gas or something like that making him uncomfortable, I highly recommend Hyland's teething tablets and Hyland's colic tablets.

I read "The no cry sleep solution" which helped me come up with a lot of ideas until I found something that worked for us.

Good Luck!!

My son is now 15yrs old but he was very similar. We read the book "Fussy Baby" by Dr Sears which helped tremendously!! I would highly recommend it. And, I would be glad to talk with you about co-sleeping and other alternatives if you would like. I tried it ALL! :)

I know what you mean by being a walking zombie!!! My boys are only 13 months apart and I felt sleep deprived for a very very long time. Hang in there though IT DOES GET BETTER!! When I took this same question to our pediatrician this is what she said.... "NO child ever died from crying, Let him cry it out, it will hurt you more than him." I did and guess what, it worked. Good luck..

B.

You poor thing! My second was like that. I remember the Zombie days too well. I am sure you have tried everything out there, but what worked for my second born (yes, you will find this crazy) was putting him in his stroller, strapped in and "strolling" in the bathroom with the fan on until he fell asleep at night. Once he had been asleep for a couple of hours in the stroller, I could usually transition him to my bed. He NEVER transitioned to the crib, and trust me, we tried every suggestion we read, each for at least a week until I finally gave up. I tried the cry it out techniques and he cried for 5 hours, then I cried and took him back to the bathroom and after 4 nights of that gave up on that. I even had a consultation with a sleep expert who suggested black plastic bags on the windows along with all the other things we had tried already. at about 8 months I stopped looking for alternate solutions. Until he was 18 months old he went to "bed" every night in his stroller (strapped in of course) in the bathroom with the fan on and then into my bed later. My family and friends thought I was nuts, but it really was the only solution that worked for him. He is now 21 months old and has been successfully going to bed in his big boy bed for 3 months, frequently falling asleep on his own after I read him a story. It was a long road, and not one that any book would ever recommend, but it did give me some sleep, and he seems fine. Good luck!

Could he have reflux? My son was waking every 2 hours. He would spit up A LOT, but because he was thriving and about 20 lbs by 5 months, they called him a "happy spitter." I wonder what the term is for the mother who is this close to losing it!! ;-) It got much better at 6 months for us. Good luck.

With ya! On my 3rd...we just started him on prunes...skipped cereal all together due to constipation issues. But he takes a 1/2 jar of prunes at dinner...and I nurse him before bed. He will usually sleep, now...from 7-8 til about 3-4. So...maybe he needs a little something extra?

My best advice to you is that maybe he isn't getting enough to eat. Sounds stupid but with my oldest I had to feed him cereal in his formula from the time he was 2 weeks old, and the youngest he was 2 or 3 months old. The doctor okayed it, you just want to add enough cereal to make it thick like a shake. Good Luck!

A.

Sounds like something's going on w/ him. I'd see a homeopathic Dr. to figure out what's imbalanced for him to wake so often. We see Dr. Josephine Polich in Naperville. It's a natural medicine practiced for over 200 yrs. The fact that he loves motion to sleep will help her figure out what remedy he needs. Perhaps his gut is disrupted by his formula or what you eat if you're breastfeeding. That's usually the case from what I've learned.

Dr. Polich is giving a free seminar to explain homeopathy and how it works on 3/15 from 10-12 in Naperville. The info and her website are below if you want to read more about it. I am so amazed at how well homeopathy works with the right remedy.....Dr. P. has helped my son w/ his eczema and food allergies. He doesn't have any side effects from this medicine like steroids would have.
Email me offlist if you want to know more.
Jen S., Naperville
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Another vote for Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Go buy it now.

All I can do is tell you that I've been there, and that your son will one day sleep "through the night" (which is defined by a stretch of six hours, I think). When my daughter was a baby, she did not sleep at night for more than a couple hours at a time for eight long months. Supposedly, this is because she was premature by two months, and needed to feed more often. However, she was nearly five pounds at birth, and quickly caught up to other babies in weight and overall size. So I really can't explain it. I remember feeling awful around the clock, and truly feel for you. My saving grace was having a light sleeper husband who did not mind getting up in the night. Even though I was on leave from work for six months, and my husband worked most days of the week, we settled on an arrangement where I got up four nights a week, and he got up three nights. This way, at least I got three nights of uninterrupted sleep per week. I hope you can work out something like this with a partner, your mother, a night nurse. . . Of course, you have to be willing to give your child a bottle at night. My daughter being premature, she drank formula by bottle day and night. I did know some women who breastfed during the day, and gave their babies bottles at night. Much luck finding a solution for you and your son.

Goodness, my heart goes out to you both. I highly recommend the book Secrets of The Baby Whisperer by Tracy (shoot, drawing a blank on her last name but there's only one book like it). I remember reading stories like yours throughout the book and she offers the reasons why/solutions for any and all kinds of issues there could be with an infant. She details an eating and sleeping routine from infancy on to toddlerhood and it is fantastic! I started my son out using all her tips and haven't had one sleep or food issue and he's 9 mos old now. It's been great, so I'm a fan of her knowledge. At 4 months she recommends a 4/4 rule for eating, which again, I used and it worked great! No matter if your using formula or breastfeeding, a filled tummy is a filled tummy she says. I breastfed and found it to be true, my son rarely woke in the night once he rounded the 3 month mark, and if he did, it wasn't for reasons of hunger.

She tells you what to do so you never have to rely on "props" like a swing or pacifier, which just mask the real issue. If only I'd read that BEFORE my baby shower, I wouldn't have put the swing on my registry. :) I've never used it accept a couple times during his awake/activity times of day but mostly it just took up valuable living space.

She also teaches you to differentiate between the babies cries. It's really awesome, there are different cries for hunger, tiredness, overstimulation etc. It took some practice for sure to tell the difference and once I caught on it was incredibly helful in deciphering what he needed.

Also, she is not a proponent of Farberism (letting a little one "cry it out"). Nor am I and I found her suggestions a godsend for this reason. She does a wonderful job of helping the parent understand what it's like to be in the infants shoes, especially as it pertains to this kind of choice, as there is an impact to them emotionally/physically/spiritually. On my toughest days I've only left my son in his crib to cry when I needed to walk away for a few minutes and take a deep breath. Her techniques totally remove the need for this method, it's a blessing for both parent and baby for sure.

It's not easy. Even using her suggestions the key was hanging in there and being consistent. I give you credit for your desire and commitment to searching for a solution that is right for you and your little one. This book should definately help, it's golden!

Good luck to you both.

J.

Hi B.,

I had the same problem with my son. I'm wondering if you breastfeed, and if so, do you breastfeed exclusively? If you do, your son may need a little something extra added to his diet, like fortified formula or a little cereal added to his milk or formula. Also if you breastfeed, there's the possibility of your son being allergic to something in your diet.

I breastfeed both my babies and my daughter had allergic reactions to the dairy in my diet. Needless to say, I had to cut out all dairy for a while. Fortunately, she grew out of her dairy allergy. Lots of babies do.

I'd also recommend talking to your doctor about your son, if you haven't already. He/she may have some suggestions.

Hope this helps and hang in there.

E.

My boys are all much older now, ages 13, 11, 11 and 9 years. But my oldest was only 14 months old when my twins were born and my twins would wake every 45 min to feed, so by the time I'd get them breast fed and back to bed I was only getting about 15 min of sleep before they were up and wanting to feed again. This went on for about 3 weeks and I was so tired and upset that I snapped at everyone around me. I finally said, I can't take this anymore and I gave the boys cereal. They were so satisfied that they slept the whole night and I woke before they did and paniced, thinking that they were victims of S.I.D.S. but they were breathing and when they woke up they were happier and they nursed better during the day as well because they were not as tired. I know that Doctors say not to start cereal until they are around 6 months old but you're the mom and no one knows your children better than you do. And get him back into his bed asap or you will regret it later on. He will outgrow the swing before long. Just remember that as long as he is breathing and he is not hungry, gassy, needing a diaper change or not feeling well, you will both survive the crying it out stage but it may take a few days. It's not being mean it's for everyones benefit, especially his. If giving him cereal doesn't help or you don't want to do that yet, try raising the head of his bed a little. I hope this helps.

My daugther slept through the night from week 5 to week 11 once we started meds for acid relux however once I went back to work to stopped sleeping-ugh!! We started cereal earlier than 4 mos. and she is back to sleeping through the night-yahoo!!! It's worth a shot!

The first thing that comes to mind for me is don't allow him to sleep so long during the day... if you can decrease his naps he may sleep more at night... I know this was the case with Damian... if we let him sleep more than 3 times per day and any longer than a combined 3 hours then he would NOT want to sleep at night at all...

My second child did this too, and my first son was a great nighttime sleeper. Not to depress you, but my little guy did this until age 3. I did do the crying out at about 10 mos old because I was exhausted! The first night was 1 1/2 hours long, second night was 45, third was 15, 4th was minutes. Then he was fine for a time, then it returned. When it did return, my oldest was starting kindergarten and I would just go in to soothe the baby since I didn't want to disrupt my oldest son's sleep. Now mine would settle down if held and rocked to sleep but I was still up 3-5 times per night until age 3. So I guess my recommendation is to do the crying out even if it lasts, I did have some success. I faithfully did lavender baths, same nighttime routine, cheese and milk and none seemed to be the fix, but maybe they would for you. And you have my condolences :)

Mostly just want to say hang in there...
I don't have a lot of advice but it will get better. I have been there and it is sooooooo hard. Babie are not predictable. I feel for you.

You poor thing I can totally relate I have a 22 month old boy and I went through the same thing. Let me tell you its terrible not to sleep. What I did with my son was swaddled him and put him to sleep in my bed with me first once he was out I placed him in his crib. Also is your baby breast feed or bottle feed that could make a difference too? Sometimes they're still hungry so if he is bottle feed you could place a little bit of cereal in his bottle and that should fill him up enough for bed or if breast feed after his bath before bed give him some cereal (in his bowl) and then feed him that should also do. Beleive me I tried everything now he goes to bed at 9:30pm and wakes at 8:30 or 9am. Let me know how it goes. Good Luck.

I went through that too. I was also trying to finish my Ph.D at the time. It was so hard. On the plus side I lost all the baby weight and then some. I think by 5 months we were up to 5 hours and that felt amazing. My kids (ages 7 and 10 now) did not sleep through the night completely until 16 months. But since then we have never had sleep issues. No trouble at all getting them to bed or waking up in the night. Listen to your heart and don't do the cry it out. Those people have sleep issues with their kids long term. It's hard right now, but you can get through it.

-Deb S.

add cereal to formula, probably not getting enough to eat and let him cry longer than an hour.
mom of 3