Want Another Baby but Hubby Doesn't

I guess it really depends on what his reason's are for not wanting another child (at least not now). Money? Not ready? Fear of having more responsiblity? I could go on and on.

If you don't know his reasons, then that's really where you need to start. If you do, then you need to find a way to address them. If money is tight, then maybe compromise and bring it up again in 6 months or a year or print out a budget to show him that you can afford another child. You get the idea.

If he's just not ready, don't resign yourself to never having another child, it just means you won't have one right away. You wouldn't be the first couple to have children spaced several years apart. And you may have to give up the idea of having children spaced closer together.

You're still young and you have plenty of years to have children. Don't push it and enjoy your little one while he's still little. Plus, you might find if you have another one in a few years, you'll have been able to give your practically undivided attention to both children when they were babies. Something you just can't do with a baby and a toddler/preschooler.

After our first, my hubby was hesitant to have another. We now have 2, three years apart. They are the best of friends. I think the key is not nagging. He said he may be interested later. Wait and see what happens in another 6 or 12 months or so. A lot can change in that time. A big factor for my husband was how fun they become once they're out of the baby stage. We're now even having a third in just a few weeks.

My first thought on reading your reply is that you are only 23 years old there is plenty of time to have more, and have a hubby who is on board. I had my first one at 19 and my second at 20 (surprise) and then my husband and I seperated, he wasn't ready for kids, he did have 2 while we were seperated and I know raise them, they are my children in every way. I always new I wanted a big family but my husband didn't, 4 was enough for him, but I have to admit a small part of me felt jipped(sp?) cause I wanted to be pregnant again, and then one day when I was 30 and our youngest was 6 1/2 he wanted another one, I was so happy, I didn't push or force the issue, I made my feeling clear don't get me wrong, but I knew what happened the last time I forced the issue and my marriage and children we already had were very important to me and I wasn't willing to rock that boat again. Now we have 7 kids, I am done, but my husband would have more if I was willing, which I am not and he is the other boat :). Wait, if there is an age difference it is Ok, I have kids both ways and it always works out and all of the sibling are close, and my kids range in age from 17 to 21 months.

The biggest pro for having more children is that the first one needs a playmate, a best friend who follows them everywhere and thinks they are the best thing ever. Personally know that my children are lost with out each other. They play well with one another, keep eachother busy, safe and over all just much happier. When my older three are gone a visitation the youngest is lost and hates being the only child. The good out weighs the bad with more children. Two is a wonderful number and I have four. I love having four but will admit it gets crazy for after school activities already! Good luck!

I agree with Katie D. I've learned that guys just don't share the why's about something. They just say what they think, without explaining how they feel.
So, in the least nagging way you can think of, on a quiet evening when he's in a good mood (but don't set it up or anything or he'll feel manipulated), ask him to tel lyou why he feels the way he does about having another baby.

And whatever you do, don't just skip your pill (or whatever) and get pregnant. My MIL did that. I think they were planning on more anyway, and it doesn't seem to be a big deal, but wow, it sure could be!

I agree w other posts about finding out his reasons and not nagging him.

My husband and I agreed that the 'oven' is closed while one is in diapers and then once potty trained then we begin talking about another one. Most little ones potty train between 2 1/2 to 4 and alot can happen in that time.

Did you discuss how many children you wanted while you were dating your husband? If so, and he had the same answer that he does now, you kinda walked into this one with your eyes wide open, and it isn't fair to nag him about it. However, if he is open to the idea of another little one in a couple of years, visit this conversation with him again then. In a marriage, with something as big as having another child, the "No" wins. If you persist and have a baby without your husbands full support and joy, this could come back to bite you. For example, if you are having one of those days where your toddler is getting into everything, and you can't seem to get a shower because the baby is way too fussy all day and needs your attention, you can't complain to your husband when he comes home because he would be able to say, "you were the one that wanted another baby." So, I would put this one to rest for a while and maybe his mind will change later, or maybe you will be the proud mommy of one great child. Enjoy what you have now, and the rest will fall into place at the right time.