Weaning 17 Mo. Old from Breastfeeding...need Advice Please!!!!!

I know you have received a lot of responses, but I really felt the need to repond. When I had my last baby (8yrs ago) I said I was going to nurse him as long as I could because I knew he would be my last. Well, when he was 8 mths old, I went to nurse him & he looked at my breast like he had never seen them before & refused to nurse. I was so hurt because I loved "our time" Please do not pay attention to IGNORANCE, I promise there will be a day when you wished you could go back. Relax & continue, if that is what YOU & your son choose. People are going to think whatever they want based on thier own beliefs, they do not live your life. I have learned that I have to do what I feel is best for me & my family. Follow your heart, God bless

I have no advice for you. I just thought it was sweet that you still enjoy nursing. My sister-in-law was asked to nurse my nephew until he was around that age. He had to have open heart surgery, so they thought it would be important to do it at least once a day. I just read that in biblical times, that mothers nursed their babies until they were 3-5 years old. Then they would have a weaning celebration. Maybe you can break it down to once a day in the evening time when people aren't around:)

Hi G.,
It sounds as if you are wanting to wean because of what others think. If that is indeed the only reason you are wanting to wean now, then maybe you should think on it a little more. It is going to be much harder if at least one of you isn't ready. Don't get me wrong, because I nursed my oldest until he was 22 months old and I tried to avoid nursing him in public at that age because I felt weird. So, I do understand how you are feeling. My 12 month old daughter pulls up my shirt when she's nursing so I get that too. The thing is, I have resolved to not let what others think influence my parenting with my second and from now on. It is hard sometimes, but I know that I am the expert on my children (as all mothers are if they would just listen to their hearts) not strangers who may have different ideals than me.
I do have a suggestion for getting your son to stop pulling up your shirt when you need to nurse him in public, if you choose to keep bf a bit longer. First, try to get that little free hand interested in something else. Second, whenever he pulls up your shirt, tell him something like, "You can't nurse when you pull up Mommmy's shirt." Then make him stop nursing at that moment.
There are lots of benefits to continuing nursing a toddler. Here is a great link on the benefits of extended breastfeeding.
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

You can also join this breastfeeding support group that I am a member of. On yahoo groups it is called For Babies Sake. We meet every Tuesday night in S. Arlington too. You may feel more comfortable about nursing him if you have a peer group to support you. You can also get great advice for weaning and all sorts of behavior issues. It is really a great and diverse group of ladies.

All that being said, I don't think you should have to continue nursing him at this stage if one or the other of you is ready to quit. Just make sure you are weaning for the right reasons because you won't ever be able to give this special and intimate type of comfort to him again.

Good LUck!

A couple of different idea's:

Instead of weaning him why don't you try to teach him 2 things: that there is no more breastfeeding in public and a different way to ask for it. I nursed both my kids for 2 1/2 years each, I taught them to call it nu-nu (for nursing) and when I started to feel uncomfortable nursing in public and they asked for it I would firmly say "no, when we get home." He may not like that idea for awhile, but if you tell him he can have it, just not "here" he'll get the idea. By the time you get home he may no longer want it, or have just forgotten about it. As your milk supply stops he'll probably ask for it less and less anyhow.

If its the looks other people give you then please grow a backbone. I'm not sorry to be so mean, but is that how you are going to make future parenting decisions? There are plenty of people out there they never raised their own kids and just sent them to daycare all day, or have forgotten what that age group is like; are you going to let them decide what's best for your child??

Finally if you want stop, for your own reasons, then try telling him no. There will be tears and tantrums, but in 3 or 4 days he'll get the idea and stop asking.

Yea!!! To the nursing mom~
To be quite frank, does it matter what others think?? If the bond that you have nursing him, even now, is a comfortable to you and your baby, then continue. He'll eventually wean himself and it will be without stress. Try to take it down to night feedings only :) (It frustrates me that our society is so natural feeding UNfriendly)

It will take a bit of effort and time, but try replacing nursing when he gets a boo boo with fun band-aids (even if he doesn't have a visisble wound) or stickers. I wouldn't suggest replacing it with another "blankie" style comfort item, then may have another problem on your hands later on.
I wish I could have nursed mine that long!! My first dtr weaned at 8 months (I was 3.5 months pregnant) because she went on strike, it tasted funny, and I dropped production. My second weaned at 7 months urgently due to an allergy to casein (and many other foods) and had to go on allimentum. I went through crying and emotional spells both times.

Enjoy the time you have. Despite your readiness, you may still feel a loss when the inevitable day does come. Kind of like Kindergarten :)

Blessings and Lot's of Luck!

Since you are both enjoying breastfeeding, please don't wean! It sounds like it is just time to teach him some breastfeeding manners. Try teaching him a sign or code word when he wants milk, and do not let him pull up your shirt. Be very firm and don't give in no matter what. Practice this at home so he will know how to act in public. Be ready with distractions - a drink, snack, or activity - for times when you can't or don't want to nurse him. Talk to him about "cuddling" and spend some time cuddling without nursing, so he does not see breastfeeding as the only way to be close to you. At first, he will be very upset when you tell him "no" or "later", but after a while he will understand that his needs are still going to be met.

I've breastfed one baby to 19 mos. and two babies till they were over 2, so I've dealt with this issue before - right now as I type this, in fact!

Yes congrats for making it this long. Just like the other women have said. It is your choice. It doesn't matter who thinks it is to old to be nursing him. You would be suprised to know that there are mothers that nurse the kids up until they are four or longer. I have a cousin by marriage who nurses her son only at night before bed and he is four. That is what comforts him. She asked me the same thing. I told her that she would have to just comfort him and just not give it to him at night. It take a couple of days but would not want it anymore. But dont feel weird every child is different. My daughter who is seven now. She would nurse and would like to put her hand in my shirt from the top. She had to have that extra contact with me. After I stopped nursing her(15mths) she still would try to put her hand down my shirt. I had to stop her and then it went to from underneath my shirt. She also would sometimes be next to me standing/seating and she would put her hand next to my skin. She is the only one that did that and she is my only girl. I still catch her when she takes a nap w me sometimes. She will rub my back. I have asked her why and she tells me I dont know, I fall asleep better. Then my son who is three likes to rub my hair when we go to bed. He sleeps with me. But he started that after I stop nursing him at eighteen months. They seem to find a new way to comfort themselves. You do what is best for you. If you are ready, then you will have to just distract him. I did the boo boo thing too. We would tell the thing that hurt my 3yr old meanie coffee table and give it a pow pow. He thought that was great. He would do it by himself after awhile. It was cute to see him. May God Bless You. He will let you know what is right for you.

sometimes substituting it with a bottle with a nipple on it helps; i talked to my daughters about weaning, so they were aware of the process, also coming up with a distraction to get through the "needy moment" sing a song, do a couple of jumping jacks, etc..good luck!

First of all congratulations for breastfeeding for so long. You are among the very small percentage of mothers who continued to breastfeed after the first 6 weeks and that deserves commendations. I weaned my baby at roughly 18 months... When baby goes to nurse you'll just have to be strong and gently tell him no. Take his hands away and divert his attention to something else. My son tried everything he could think of to try to get me to nurse and he remebered EVERY location that I had previously nursed. But after the 2nd day he realized he wasn't getting it anymore he moved on to something else. I make grand gestures of kissing his boo boo and usually either punish the object that hurt him like telling the nightstand or doorway that it's bad and that usually makes him happy. Or I do something he likes to make him forget like dancing or going outside to look at birds and trees. Just be consistent in whatever decision you make, whether its continueing to nurse or ending it all together. Good luck.

Hi G.~

Your not alone! I breastfed my daughter until she was 16 mo'
s. What I did was find something that she loved and everytime she got hurt she got the booboo bunnie and a cup of chocolate milk or something like that. She continued to try for ages. In fact up untill about 6 mo's ago (she is 5 1/2 now) she would put her hand up or down my shirt to touch me! When she was really tired I had to lift my shirt so she could put her head on my tummy! Good Luck & God Bless!

I too want to say congrats on the extended breastfeeding. My youngest was 14 months when I finally said no more. I went cold turkey though because he was just that kind of guy. I was told that you can train your child in 3 days no matter what the subject at hand is. I would breast right after he woke up in the morning and then right before bed at night. Then if he woke up in the middle of the night, he wanted it then too. The first day of not nursing was the hardest day. He would cry and pull at my shirt. I decided though we would stay home until we got this down. I would turn him around so he was facing the same direction I was. I would offer a cup of warm milk. We would cuddle but it was a different cuddling. Not cuddling up near my chest. When he'd wake up, I would have my husband get him up and at night time, he would put him to bed. By the 4th day he was willing to accept that we weren't going to nurse anymore. I will never forget 5 days out though. We went to the store and he was riding in the buggie. I got too close, I guess, because he got this look on his face, smiled real big, tried to put his hand in my shirt and said, "MINE!!!". I calmly took his hand out and said, "No Jakob, it's mama's!!!" He never did it again. It's almost like that was his last ditch effort on going back but I stayed firm on it being over. Your little one will adjust. It does take time and being consistant (like with everything). I like what someone else said though, if you aren't ready to end, don't. Don't let someone else call the shots for you. They are only little once. I hope this helped in some way. If you are truly ready, he will follow. Like I said, they claim that it takes only 3 days to do anything. Again, this depends on the child. Good Luck!!!

Hi. I have a 30 month old (wow that sounds old put in months!) that still has to nurse to sleep and likes it when he wakes. I love our nursing moments, but DH thinks I should wean him. So I have started by trying to not nurse when he wakes from naps and in the AM (of course, I still have to nurse once or twice during the night!). I just try to distract him. What is working best for us is watching Go Diego Go or Little Einstiens, his current fav shows! Good luck, but don't do it because of others, do it when you and your son are ready.

Congrats on making it this far; however, don't think that weaning is going to change this behavior. My son is 3 and still does that from time to time even though he hasn't nursed in over a year. He could have been bottle fed and would still want to do that as far as I know. I just ask him to kindly stop and redirect him. It's taken a while, but he's much better. I would suggest that you try and get him to stop the shirt pulling.

If you're going to wean, wean for the right reasons and do it GRADUALLY (cold turkey is hard on your body and the child). If you're down to a few sessions a day, he's already started on his own to wean and will do so on his own eventually. If you still enjoy it and he does too, why are you weaning? Just because some (uniformed) people think it's wierd or give you looks -- so what. They don't have to live with or raise your son. There are numerous reasons to keep nursing frankly. I'm not saying you shouldn't wean, but I think from reading your post that you're not the one who wants to wean (and neither does your son). This is yours (and to some extent, your son's as well) choice, not mine or anyone else on this board or any onlooker.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

First, make sure that you're weaning because it's the best decision for you both. You don't have to stop because other people look at you funny. But if you're ready, jump in!

Secondly, I know how very special that nursing time is. It's something that only moms can do - it's the ONE thing that no one else can do for your child! My three weaned at 19, 16 and 14 months

To me, it sounds like you're not firm in this decision yourself. I think the first step is for YOU to really feel firmly that this is IT, the time is here. If you waver in your mind, you're doomed - they're psychic little buggers and will always sense your weakness! :)

Something that will probably help you is to remember - yes, it's a bonding time, but this is supposed to be FOOD. Food = comfort or love is actually not a great message for our kids. Now that this isn't a truly necessary food source for your son, find another way to give him that same love and bonding and comfort. That's really what both of you are looking for at this point anyway, it sounds like.

He's not going to think this is a great idea - that's where you being firmly resolved and very clear in your own mind will be vital. Have lots and lots of fun, new little treats on hand (little plastic animals, new matchbox cars, cool bandaids, stickers... anything he'll find interesting), ready to dazzle him into distraction. First step is to tell him, "all gone!" with a cheerful, matter-of-fact voice. Do not make it sound sad! Just one of those things that happens and no big deal (you can have your emotional moments later, not in front of him). If that doesn't work, sing a favorite song, do a dance... Defcon three erupts, pull one of those bribes, um, treats out!

Keep him distracted and busy; present this as a perfectly normal, not at all sad thing; be kind about it and don't tease him by holding him in the same way/direction/place that you would to nurse (while you're in this transition phase, at least); and STAY FIRM - whatever you do, do NOT give in. That's about the equivalent of taking forty steps backward. I know it's hard (you mentioned giving in to him in your request), but now's as good a time as any for both of you to learn how much easier things can be when Mom means what she says every time!

Good luck - weaning is sad for mom, too, but I know you can do it!

I've been in your shoes. I've breastfed four, two girls and two boys, and started weaning each at 12 months. The girls weaned easily but both boys held on. First you have to be resloved in your mind that it's time to stop and don't give in. Then you have to be creative when your son wants to nurse. Distract him by offering him his favorite drink or just sit with him on your lap and read to him. You have to show him that he can still be close to you without having to nurse. If he is persistant it may also help to tell him that he is a big boy now and talk about all the big boy things that he can do. If you don't give in and are good at distracting him then it really won't take long. Good Luck!

regardless of what other moms have chosen, if you want to quit, then quit. i weaned at 5 months and 1 year for each son respectively. it doesn't harm them to stop nursing just because you want your body back. have you thought about buying a new stuffed animal or cuddly blanket to give to him for comfort instead of the nursing?

Good morning! So, I am only replying because I want you to know that we are in the same situation with my 19 month old. I am ready for her to be done with nursing, but she is not. So, I am curious to see what ADVICE others have. I have my DD nursing before bed and then the very first thing in the morning. Occassionally she will fall asleep (I don't nurse her to sleep) and wake up without nursing. She will ask when we are in public and will go for my shirt, but I just tell her no honey, we aren't going to nurse right now, would you like somehting to drink or eat instead. She is usually persistent, but I don't give in. So, congratulations! Flu and sick season should be over soon, so you most likely helped your little one stay a bit healthier with all the good immunity your milk has provided.

My son weaned himself, because he liked using the sippy cup "all by himself". That said, I put instant breakfast in his milk. Two years later, he still loves his chocolate milk and it has extra vitamins. You might try this alternative. I also found that as a special treat when we were out and about, a milkshake was a good alternative.

G.,
Congratulations on breastfeeding for this long. I too have a 17 month old that I have been trying to wean for the past few months. I truly enojy the time we have when breastfeeding but also see the disapproving looks and hear the comments from others who don't approve. I only breastfeed in the morning and at night. On weekends it can go all day. On the positive side, my son is the healthiest kid in his daycare- which I attribute to extended nursing! I can't give you an answer on how to wean, as I too am looking for it. I applaud you for going this long and wanted you to know you are not the only one.

Hi. It sounds as if he is throwing a tantrum to get what he wants, which is nursing. He has learned to cry to get what he wants. Have you tried a different comfort, like a blanket, pacificer, or stuffed animal. You definately need to make sure you are not giving in to him when he is having a tantrum.

I nursed my daughter until 15 months. After 12 months or so we only nursed first thing in the morning and last thing in the day. I admit it was hard to quit because of the closeness we had during feeding time and I was afraid that would go away. She is now 15 YEARS old, and we are still very close. Keep nursing as long as you want! It is great for both of you.

Sounds like you are needing to wean yourself, more than him. You can comfort him with a song or a story and holding him, or a pacifyer, and tell him all gone or something. The first few days will be hard on you both, and a few tears, but if you don't give in, and comfort him in other ways, he'll soon be weaned

I started weaning both kids at 1.5 yrs. For my daughter I would decrease the time she was allowed to nurse every 2 or 3 days by several minutes each time and presented a sippy cup of milk after if she was truly still hungry. Finally when she got down to 3 minutes she just decided that wasn't enough and just took her cup. My son didn't like that arrangment and when he realized that he wasn't going to get "enough" from me he just stopped cold tu
turkey and replaced it with a bottle.

Both of my kids were just doing it for soothing before bed and naps so I didn't have the public displays unless they were sleepy and ready for naps out and about and then when I finally got them in their carseat they would almost always go to sleep thus avoiding the situation completely. So I got to where I would just schedule our errands so that they would be sleepy and fall asleep in the car and avoid the situation for their nap. After a litte bit they didn't even ask anymore.

Hope that helps.

I have no advice personally since I only breastfed my second child for a short time, but my sister-in-law breastfed my nephew until he was 2 and had a terrible time weaning him. She had to actually spend the weekend with a friend away from home so my brother was the only one there to feed him. It was a hard 3 days, but it worked for them. Good luck to you and your son.

Hi G.,
I am one of those mother's who loves to nurse. I weaned my first son at 18 months because I had gotten pregnant again, and believe me, it was very hard for me because I loved it and so did he. I would first say that you should not do this just because other people might look at you funny or with disapproval. You need to do what is right for you and your baby. If this is what you want then, the only advice that I can give you is to just stick to saying NO! It is hard to do, but you have to stay strong with your decision and not give in. I wish there was some other way that would make it easier, but sometimes just being straight forward with what is needing to get done is the only way. Good Luck!