Weaning a 21 Month Old from Breast Feeding.

Hi-Not that I disagree with the idea of weening by 2, I am just wondering why you want to do that. That may help with HOW to stop!

Hi T.

I breastfed my son until he was 15 months old (he kept biting me at that point) and i just stopped cold turkey. What i did was waited until the last minute to give him a nap as well as put him to sleep for the night (this way he would not fight me as long because he would be to exhausted to). I would sit on my rocking chair and would rock him to sleep...he would cry for a few mintues as i would sing softly to him he would fall asleep. I did this for 2 days straight and he forgot all about breastfeeding. You need to be strong willed and not give in no matter how much she will cry. Eventually she will become exhausted and fall asleep.

I would replace feedings with cups until you get down to just the nighttime feeding. I wouldn't completely cut her off cold turkey if that is what she is used to a few times a day plus you are asking for some pain. I did this slowly with my oldest and weaning was no problem for either one of us. Now my second child was showing now signs of weaning so at 22 months after getting word I had to go out of town in a month for a seminar, we had no choice but to get him used to taking a bottle even at bedtime. So my husband began taking him to bed at night with a bottle. He cried for the first couple of nights but my husband stayed with him the whole time cudding him in our bed and just kept offering the bottle. That one hurt! I wish I had had longer to help him and me because I remember being on the flight to my seminar wearing an ace bandage wrapped around my boobs to try to help with the pain and putting ice packs on once I got to the hotel.

Maybe it would work for your husband to do it with your daughter once you get down to that last feeding. It's much easier than you trying to do it I think because as long as you are there, she is going to be looking for you to give it to her vs. realizing dad's there and he doesn't have it to give. :)

hi T., I have a 25 month old. And i started to sort of suggest to my then 22 month old daughter that mommy's milk is ending and that she is grown up. she didnt take it well some nights and some nights were better. but what helped a lot that i would rub her back and stroke her hair instead of bf and it started to work sometimes. also told her a quite story or sang (whispered a song) Probably the fact that i was loosing milk helped a lot too (i'm almost 5 m pregnant) but most nights she falls asleep without nursing now. and i never thought that would be possible. and also my husband and grandma were able to put her to sleep twice without me!
I think it should be gradual and comforting - because its the only way you daughter knows. it took us almost 2, 5 months, but she didnt have a big heartbreak about it, and now almost never mentions it. Good luck.
PS i would have continued BF if it wasnt for pregnancy discomfort.

I weaned at 17 months and it was hard, but it was time...it took about a week of her crying (and me crying even more...not in front of her though:) and my husband putting her to bed. Once we got through that she never asked for it again...I do believe you have to be ready yourself b/c at this point the child is really only doing it for comfort and who wants to give that up without a fight?! Good luck!

Another approach to consider is to help her learn to fall asleep on her own, so that she does not need to nurse to do so. This will be beneficial to both of you in the long run but likely a challenge in the short run. If you can, try to stop nursing before she starts to fall asleep each night and then put her in her crib (or wherever she sleeps) while she is still somewhat awake. She will likely be very upset about this if she is not used to having to fall asleep on her own, so you might want to develop some other bedtime routines as others have suggested -- reading books, listening to quiet music, etc. Massage is also a nice thing to do at bedtime, because it can help children relax but not fall totally asleep. What do you do at nap time? If she is able to fall asleep on her own then, I might try to replicate your naptime routine since it is familiar to her and you know she can fall asleep that way. Once you separate the nursing from the falling asleep, the weaning might be a little easier. Another option would be to nurse briefly in the evening and then turn her over to her dad or someone else to do the bedtime routine - again, with the idea that she doesn't need someone or something external to help her fall asleep. Good luck!

I weaned my 23 month old by changing the location. My husband was on a different schedule and couldn't help out at bedtime so I had to change the routine. Instead of the rocking chair or my bed (places he always nursed) we cuddled on the couch until he fell asleep. When he asked for it I told him that he could have a sippy cup but not me. He was persistent - I had to use the couch routine for about a week - but he came to accept that if he was thirsty he could have a cup and Mom was still available for plenty of cuddling. I was able to go back to rocking him while we read stories before bed and he's doing fine.

Hi T.,

I have no advice because I have the same exact issue here. My son is the same way, and he is 6 months older than your daughter. I will be watching this thread for some good tips.

I don't believe in just cutting him off and letting him scream (yes, that has been suggested to me). Most of my friends' toddlers have self-weaned around this age, but mine is hanging in there! My other two were ready much earlier...

I weaned by giving my daughter her before-bed feeding and then turning her over to daddy for a story and rocking routine. After about a couple weeks/month, she just went to daddy for the story and rocking, would fall asleep on his chest and be down for the night. After a couple weeks I was able to do the night-time rocking without her looking to nurse. She was ready to wean and gave it up without crying or fussing.

hi T., great job on nursing this long :)
if you are just down to the nightime nursing and are having trouble weaning, i suggest having someone else put her to sleep. having her sleep over elsewhere for a night or 2 may help. when she comes home, give her a drink of something else before bed and try adding something different and fun into her bedime routine to distract her. with my son, he slept out a couple of nights and didnt really ask again after that, he was very ready to stop. my daughter wasnt so ready, i had hubby put her to bed for about a week, she still asked sometimes, i distracted her with other stuff. it was a lot harder on me than on her. if you look back in the breastfeeding category, there are lots of long messages with lots of ideas that people have used. good luck.

I am glad you asked this! I am mainly answering so I can see your responses. I am doing the same with my 2 1/2 year old. At this point I am trying to switch her to a warm rice milk bottle at night (I know, water would be better). She still wakes up in the night to nurse. I so wanted to do child-led weaning, but my children just don't wean! Whatever your trial, you are not alone.

Well,

I read that you should never wean in a time of crisis. My daughter ended up being a little bit older than 2. We went through a lot of stress before that. How I weaned her was with trident gum. I said to her if you want gum you cant have dot (as she called it) because gum is for big girls. She was able to understand the concept.

Hi I haves weaned a 27 month old and am slowly starting my 22 month old. It is not easy because it is there special time. With my first son I started out timing it. 10 min. each night for a week then the next week it was 9 min. and so on. It took a long time but it eventually worked and then i would just offer him water instead and layed with him. Now with my second son I started differently. He would nurse all night long so I went backwards. Meaning that after 5:00am if he asks for milk I would say no and just hold him until he fell back asleep. There was some crying but he seemed ok. The next week I would stop from 4:00 on and so on. We are at 12:00 and on an it is going well. He still wakes up in the middle of the night and asks for milk but falls back to sleep much quicker than the beginning. It is a difficult thing to do but just take your time and it will work eventually. Good luck.

You could try having your husband put your daughter to bed. I am sure she associates you with breast feeding, so having someone else put her to bed would definitely help.
I would keep the rest of her bedtime routine the same.
Does she nurse other times?

C.
Mommy to Jessie, Katie and Julia
www.TimetoChangetheDiapers.com
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