Weaning from Breastfeeding - Allen Park,MI

i cut out one feeding at a time. i quit at about 10 months,( had enough frozen to make it to 1st bday) my daughter was down to about 4 feedings a day. i first cut out the one that would affect her the least for her that was the one after nap in the after noon just gave a transtion cup and snack, then i cut mid morning then morning then the one just before bed. i would cut one out every week or so. i also found once i was no longer bf she wouldnt wake in middle of night either to eat. hope this helps
C.

I night weaned my son at 18 months because I was pregnant with number two and exhausted.

Personally, I think 13 months is too early to fully wean.

How about considering night weaning. Is she eating enough solids? My son didn't eat much til he was about 14 months and then ate enough for me to start THINKING about night weaning.

I'll be honest...I am still nursing my 5 1/2 month old and a 2 1/2 year old. I know that isn't for everyone, BUT. :) I will tell you that the nices thing about nursing a toddler, is that he is yet to get really sick. The family will get terrible stomach viruses and he will throw up, but never miss a beat. He's never had a cold either.

I truly believe that is due to him still nursing and getting all kinds of good stuff from mama's milk. I work too, so sleep is important, but I also can't take a ton of time off from work, but am bringing bugs home with me to my kids. so, the nursing is a nice way for me to reconnect with my kiddos at night and also ensure them some health benefits.

I co-sleep too. Don't feel bad. My older son went willingly into his own bed at some point. It is such a secure way to raise kiddos.

Studies have shown that kids that are raised really close to mama: extended breastfeeding, cosleeping, etc are really very independent kids later on.

You can try to start redirecting....I would guess she isn't hungry when you come home, but is seeking some emotional comfort. How awesome that you can still give it to her. She wants to reconnect with mama. I stopped pumping at about 13 months (my son just wasn't interested in the bottle at that point), but we continued our nursing relationship and yes, he nursed as soon as I walked in the door! :)

Consider yourself lucky. Think about the mamas who didn't get that relationship with their babes.

I wish you luck whatever your choice. Just remember, don't "should" yourself to death, nor question your choices, nor be embarrassed by them. Only you know what's best for your family.

There is no such thing as a baby too attached! That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. It's because of this we have generations of adults who can't form a decent and long lasting relationship with others. Co sleeping can be awesome if everyone is on the same page and ther is absolutely no reason to stop if you and your baby are happy. I am nursing my 2 and 4 year old and we sleep with them when they need and they are really happy smart well adjusted secure kids who have benefitted tremendously from our attached style of parenting . Anyone who would suggest otherwise is jealous of how great your kid is turning out : )
oh, and there is no reason to be. On a more "normal" schedule instead of a "baby" schedule. By that I'm guessing the mom meant they shouldn't be fed when they are hungry or thirsty or needing some snuggle time??? Again, very silly and it goes against human nature and our instincts as mothers. Imagine if you woke in the night and were told you couldn't have water when you were thirsty? Or I you asked your husband to hold you when you needed it and he rejected you because he felt he had held you too much that day? We would consider him a lousy and uncaring partner. Why would our babies deserve any less? It sounds as if everything is going well and someone is making you feel like things need to change. Well, they don't. PM me if you have any more questions. There are some great books on this if you need any recos.

I have not read the other responses. My daughter woke in the night to nurse up until I decided enough was enough at 18 months or so. I started weaning her around 12 months, and we took it slowly, cutting out periods during the day at a time. One thing that worked really well to distract her was to blow bubbles if she was wanting to nurse. Worked like a charm. Yes, she is old enough, but only you can gauge what is right for your daughter. I recommend waiting until she is not teething or sick, and talk to her about it. I was really worried that cutting the middle of the night feed would be really hard, but we talked about it, and when the day came, she really was OK with it. I saved the first morning feed to be cut last, so she had a reward when she went the night without. (We coslept as well.) Just talk to her and you might be surprised at how well she takes it.

I wouldn't worry too much about your daughter sleeping with you... it's natural. The "westernized" cultures are the only ones that put their kids in a crib secluded from their parents... My 3yr old daughter used to sleep in our bed until she asked to move into her crib and now our 10m old son sleeps in our bed, and it's so much easier like you mentioned. He sleeps very well except when teething or something like that, other than that he's a pretty difficult child and I am convinced that if he did not sleep with us he would have trouble sleeping as well...
Anyway, I would continue sleeping with her besides the fact that everything is just easier that way and you will both probably get more sleep... but you said you work full time..... sleeping with your child is a way for you guys to reconnect and stay close, precious cuddle time, or just being close even if you are sleeping is very good for the parent/child bond. If you are curious at all about that kind of stuff read some books on cosleeping. Obviously some people should not practice that, those who drink, smoke or are largely over weight since all three of those make it so your senses are deadened some and you cannot notice the movements of your child as well and that is when it could be dangerous to cosleep.

As far as nursing... I don't know if you want to wean for sake of ease but I believe it's best to let the child dictate when they are done nursing... to some extent... I wouldn't go so far as a 3yr old nursing or anything even though I don't think it is wrong, it would just be too much for me.
Again since you work full time I am guessing your daughter cherishes that special bond and closeness you guys share and that is why she wants to nurse right when you get home... I would embrace that and continue nursing for both the comfort and closeness as well as the nutritional benefits which will always be there as long as you nurse. Your milk never "runs out" of nutrients.

Oh I forgot to add about the night time nursings... my son still wakes to nurse about once a night, I know he doesn't need it nutritionally as his body is capable of sleeping through the night, but all I do is lay closer to him and lift up my shirt and I fall back to sleep while he nurses anyway so it's not an inconvenience.... I know he'll eventually stop that as well like my daughter did so I am not worried, he may just need some extra snuggle time... which may really be the case since he is anything but snuggly during the day !!

wish you well !!

B.

You might contact a Le Leche League group leader and go to a meeting. Le Leche League promotes baby led weaning....don't offer/don't refuse. Don't put yourself down about having her in your bed. I applaud you! It IS ok to have your kids in bed with you. It's a personal choice that no one else needs to know about. So many will judge you on it. It is not uncommon for 13 month olds to wake in the night and want mom. Breastfeeding is a comfort and that's what she needs whether it's day or night. I always question why a baby's needs are supposed to stop just because it is dark outside? (that was for all the "cry it out" fans) I think the botttom line is you need to do what works for you and your family. At 13 months she is still a baby. Lifting your shirt isn't a crime. She is just looking for what she needs.
Savor all this, She will be weaned before you know it and you will probably wish it didn't happen so soon. One of my daughters self weaned at 15 months...she just up and quit one day. The other was 3 before it was all said and done. There is no right or wrong answer here. Go with your gut!

Hi M.,

I weaned my son at 15 months and I started to wean him at your daughter's age. I took it nice and slow because he was still nursing about 7 times a day. I don't think it's bad that you co-sleep. I did that with my son until he was 7 months old, then he started crawling around and I got too worried about safety. I do think it will be hard for you too wean her from the night feeding if you are lying right next to her though. In your sleepy state, it might be too hard to resist getting her right back to sleep.

When I had three nursings left to wean my son from, that's when I gave up the middle of the night feeding. The next one was before his nap, and the last one was right before bed. I guess in general my son sleeps more through the night than he did while he was nursing. He is older now though.

You have nursed your daughter more than a year and that's great! I know the WHO says to nurse until two years old, but then you start to worry that they become too attached, for some at least. My son never lifted up my shirt or really did anything to tell me he wanted to nurse and thus, didn't put up a fight when we weaned. I think he was ready. I on the other hand was a little sad the time was over.

So nurse her as long as you want!
Good luck

You are not alone, I have two daughters one 10 and the other 4 both of my daughters nursed until they were 3 years old, I know that is crazy but, I tried everything to get them off, finally, I made up my mind and just went cold turkey on them both, with my oldest I had vertigo and had to take medication, and with my younger daughter I had a bladder infection and had to take antibotics, having to take the meds assisted me in stoping because, I was told on both occasions, that I shouldn't because they did not know the side effects of the meds, going through the breast milk. My children both cried and cried but I was determined to stop them. Both of my girls also slept with me, but I covered my breasts so they would not smell me or the milk at night. It may be a little nerve racking, and you may be sleep deprived, depending on how often your child wakes up, but you must stay conisistent, and don't give up. Give her something to eat or her favorite snack before bed, or you may express your mild in a bottle or sippy cup ( if she is ready that). She is still really young, and she will not understand what is going on, she enjoys the milk, as well as the bonding and being close to you. It is a wonderful experience for you both. Be patient and loving and you can do it. Take Care and God Bless.

Kudos to you for following your baby's lead. There is nothing wrong with parenting that is child-led provided you also provide guidance along the way to teach. It is so wonderful to have a home that is child friendly. It has been said that this is the time when you teach your child that it is a safe world by meeting her needs; this causes them to have the confidence to grow and develop. I feel sad when women talk about "training" their children as if they were animals. Children requires gentle teaching over and over many times. I guess some would call this training, but teaching is a much friendlier picture of what is going on. Some would say night waking is a "habit" and a bad one at that, but that depends on whose view you're looking at I guess - a childs needs do not end when they go to bed - it is of comfort to them to know that Mom is there to meet their helplessness and assures them that all is good. We co-slept and nursed well into the toddler years along with gentle teaching and were often told how sweet our kids were, though they rarely slept through the night during those years; part of being a parent is being on duty 24 hours a day. They have now grown up to be self supporting independent adults. I will tell you, it was worth every night time parenting (and day time) need that we met.

I don't mean to criticize those who choose to co-sleep and let the child lead in weaning, if they do it because they feel its BETTER for their child. However, many people do this because they don't want to cross the will of their child, and allow their child to guide them instead of parenting. This philosophy will backfire as the child becomes very strong willed and demanding as it grows up. It sounds like you're feeling guilt about being away from her during the day and thus giving in by sleeping with her and feeding her in the night time. I'm making that assumption based on how you worded your question, and how you seem to feel like this is no longer working well for you.

After reading all the responses many ladies feel that co-sleeping is great and something other children miss out on. But you have to find what works for you. These women WANT to co-sleep, nurse as long as the child wants and let the child lead them in their development. Many other mothers want to be the parent and direct and train the child. You need to decide which philosophy you buy into or you'll feel conflicted.

I was frustrated by these two sides when I had nursing issues with my infant. I'd get people pressuring me to get her on a schedule and then others who suggested wearing her all day long and letting her eat whenever she wanted. What they didn't realize was she wanted to eat ALL DAY LONG, and when raising a 2.5 year old as well, I was exhausted and needed some sanity. I had to find a balance between the rigid schedule and listening to her needs. Now at 7 months, she is still nursing every 2 hours (or sooner if I'd let her) while awake, no matter how many solids she eats. But she sleeps at least 2-4 hours twice a day and all night long. So it evens out to 6-7 breast feedings a day. She can't be stretched longer then 2 hours, though occasionally with lots of distraction she does this on her own, but I feel its important to train her to not eat on and off all day long. She is on a loose schedule, meaning we do things in a certain order (eating, napping, etc...) but not by a clock. Bottom line from all of this, is that you've got to make a decision on what you feel is best for you child. You know their temperament best.

As far as a good age to start weaning, you've definitely past the 1 year mark, so you are not endangering her by weaning. But it is a special bonding time the two of you have, and since you work outside the home, she will need to have extra time with you when you're home. You might need to end co-sleeping and get her weaned from night time feedings, but keep up the daytime stuff. And then as you wean her from those, find other special touch things to do with her, so she has that bonding time with you.

Also you spoke of her not sleeping through the night as she got older and was that habit. Yes it is habit. Babies are capable of sleeping through the night by 3 months old, and many are when even younger. Some still struggle until 6-9 months old. But the co-sleeping situation makes it convenient to use your breasts as the only soothing option. Babies can learn to self soothe, but allowing them to snack on and off all night long can make it impossible to learn a different option. Does she take a pacifier during the day while you work? What about thumb sucking? The pacifier helped my first child sleep through the night around 3 months old. My second wouldn't have anything to do with it, and didn't really want her thumb either. But she learned (and I didn't make her cry for hours like people assume) to sleep without anything around 2 months old, I'm talking 8-9 hours at night. And when she's going through a growth spurt she'll wake up in the night for an extra feeding, otherwise she sleeps all night long. Usually she'd go to sleep after nursing, but often she'd awaken when I put her in the crib. I made sure the room was dark and had a fan on for white noise, and if she was awake she'd wimper or cry about 10-15 min tops, and then go back to sleep. Not all children are this easy, but they can all learn.

Best wishes as you figure out how you want to proceed. I am not looking forward to weaning either, and have not committed to a specific time frame of when its going to happen, but it will have to be in the best interest of our family. :)

I'm not a fan of nursing past the 1st birthday. After your child turns 1 they should be on a more normal schedule, not a baby schedule. By that I mean eating meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner) and having healthy snack between the meals.

By the time my son turned 1 he ate 3 meals and had his cups of milk with meals (we got rid of the bottle at 9 1/2 months). Between meals he would get water to drink when he wanted.

We also sleep trained our son when he was 4 months old. I was never comfortable with him sleeping in my bed and in my experiences with children I've watched, children who learn to co-sleep have a harder time ever sleeping alone.

If you want to break the nighttime feedings, I would suggest offering a cup of water when she wakes up. Its not what she wants so after a couple times of that, she should stop.