C.B.
Are you weaning because you want to be done nursing or because you're concerned that he's using it as a method to fall asleep and you want him to learn to do it on his own? If you want to wean because you want to be done, then there were some good suggestions about transferring to a cup, cuddling without nursing, etc. Kellymom is awesome and La Leche League has a forum for such questions. Congrats for making it to a year!!
If you're concerned he's relying on you to fall asleep and you feel that's not a good thing for whatever reason, that's another issue entirely. I'd just like to share my experience bc I think you have nothing to worry about.
I too nursed exclusively and he would nurse to fall asleep at bed and for naps. I did not try to wean - I let him go at his own pace. At first it would make him pass out and I'd put him down asleep. As he got older (seems like around a year - can't remember) he would still nurse but not actually fall asleep so I would have to put him in bed awake but it calmed him down enough that it wasn't that big an issue. I felt like if I pushed him to wean, that would be more upsetting than anything and make bedtime more stressful. Plus, I didn't want to stop.
I did let him cry some - only after he was older, maybe 9 months? I felt like he we communicated enough that he knew it was bedtime and understood I wasn't deserting him, but that he needed to go to sleep. Only a few minutes at a time and I would never let him get hysterical. It was more of a whimper. I think at a certain age, it's almost like any other aspect of growing up, and they need some discipline. But you didn't want to do cry it out so I'll move on.
I guess my point is if you want him to learn to sleep on his own without any cry it out, pushing him to stop nursing will only make it worse. You will still need to do whatever you need to do to train him to sleep on his own and nursing doesn't really have anything to do with that other than helping it in terms of calming him down and giving him a signal that it's bed time. No different than bath and a book really. Eventually, the nursing will not put him to sleep so you will be in the same position regardless.
On his own he lost interest in nursing and quit at 18 months without any emotion on either of our parts and without any engorgement. That's how it works when you let them decide.
Sorry for the rambling, not sure if that helped or not.
Good luck!