Oliver FINALLY started sleeping in his crib at night a couple of months ago. It has been so nice not to have his squirmy little butt in bed with hubby and I. So, of course, he has now learned how to escape his crib. The mattress is at it's lowest setting and he just swings his leg up and climbs over. His crib does transition into a toddler bed, but now we are filled with questions:
How do we get him to fall asleep in his toddler bed? With the crib, we go in there and change him into his night time diaper and pjs, get good night hugs and kisses, and put him in the crib. He gets his pillow, his blanket, two different picture books, a stuffed puppy, a cow pillow-pet, a sippy cup with half water-half juice that he takes one or two sips off of during the night and mostly just wants there to hold onto (No judgement please). Once we put him in the crib and show him that all of his things are in there with him, we turn off the lights and walk out of the room. The bedroom door stays open and the hallway light stays on. He usually cries for a minute or two before calming down and looking at a book until he falls asleep. So... How will we get him to fall asleep with no way to make sure that he stays in bed? I know that he won't stay in bed. I know that he is going to run to his doorway (We plan on putting a baby gate up in his doorway so that he is at least contained to that room) and cry and cry and cry, and that is fine BUT I know that it won't stop there. I know that he's not juts going to give up, walk back to his bed, crawl in, and go to sleep. No way. He's going to start playing with all of the toys in his bedroom (These toys have to stay there because we don't have room for them anywhere else). This kid will not just lay down and go to sleep on his own. His bedtime is 9:30 but he could easily stay up until midnight or later if we let him. In fact, on New Years Eve we were at my grandma's house and he stayed up until 1am with the rest of us and was only a teeny bit crabby, and he had had a shorter nap than usual that day too! He's just too stubborn to lay down and fall asleep like that.
Also, how do we keep him from getting into trouble in the middle of the night? For his 2nd birthday we got him a little aquarium for his bedroom. I say little... It's actually fairly big compared to what most kids have in their room. I think it's a 20 gallon tank. Anyways, if I leave him alone for even 2 or 3 minutes to use the bathroom or change the laundry he will push his little chair up against the aquarium and try to stick his hands it it. We are planning to move the aquarium out of there within the next couple of days (Hopefully tomorrow) but what do we do tonight? Cross our fingers? It's not as simple as just taking away the chair. He will stack his books on top of each other to climb stuff if he has too. Plus there is other stuff in there that we can't move out that I don't want him getting into. I'm freaking out!
Why?!?!?!?!?!?! Why did he learn this?! Arg!!!
InMy30'sAlready?! - OH MY GOD! I didn't even think of that... I need a wall to bang my head against.
When my daughter began swinging her leg over and climbing out, we began putting her in sleep-sacks so that she couldn't get her leg up that high. One year later: problem still solved.
You'll do what we all do/did...make it work.
Move the tank, remove the chair, take out any extra toys that you can, gate the door and BE CONSISTENT!
Maybe he gets a sticker for every night he stays in his bed and 5 or 10 equals a treat?
My son used to fall asleep on the floor at first but there aren't many high school seniors sleeping in a crib, right? He'll get it. Get ready for a big challenge but hang in there!
Here is what my husband and I did...we bought the tallest and unclimbable baby gate...then we turned his whole room into a crib. We took out anything he could climb on, no little chairs/stool/etc. We put the expensive twisty covers on all the plugs. We tethered furniture to the walls.
He had some toys and books and such...and as long as he was in his room we considered that he was in "bed". He went in at bedtime and came out when it was time to get up.
Did he always stay in bed...no...but usually when he was tired he got in his bed and went to sleep...then still woke up at like 5:30 or 6 am and was ready to go...he would call for me and I would tell him it wasn't time to get up yet. he would play in his room until I managed to get out of bed around seven.
This saved my sanity...also, he knew that bedtime was time to stay in his room. But he wasn't confined just to his bed. He is now eight and still needs about an hour or sometimes two of reading to fall asleep. he stays in bed, but just doesn't wind down a quick as others.
My daughter on the other hand still called us to come get her out of her big girl bed when she woke up...and would stay in it until we actually came and got her up. She never got out of her crib, and we only switched because our pediatrician had a fit she was still in it at three yrs old.
You do what you have to do to survive the stage...turn his whole room into a big crib...
Also, hugs...this age is so hard with some kiddos...
Every one of us has had to go through this...so you are not alone...and you are not DOOMED. It is what it is. You need to teach him that when you say NO, you mean it. He needs to listen to you better, that is the only way we all get our kids to stay in their big boy/girl beds and go to sleep!
The only thing that works is consistency. We (you) have to just keep walking our kids back to their rooms and put them back in their beds. That is the only answer. There is no magic fix, sorry.
~Side note: It's funny that you think the baby gate on his door will keep him in! If he can climb out of his crib, do you really think a little baby gate will keep him in? Ha! Thanks for the laugh!!
First: teach him to stay in his crib
Then : teach him to stay in his toddler bed.
We had a drop side crib... So it was fairly easy: if the side was down he was allowed to get out. If it was up he had to stay in bed.
I figured... He was going to have to listen to "No!" either way (bed or crib), so it would be easier to teach him to stay in the crib... Since that took effort to get out of. While a bed = no effort.
For my nephew (the one who later drug furniture to the front door to unlock it to go play at the playground at 3am as a toddler)...
... We used 2 Great Dane sized dog gates one on top of the other. Barred him in at night. (Because putting a real lock on the bedroom door is illegal).
nope, not doomed. this is parenthood. And parenting with a 2 or 3 year old.
First off, take a deep breath.
Second, let it out slowly.
Breathe again.
Stop freaking out. He picks on it and will play on it.
you will deal with it the way you need to that works for your family. just like the rest of us have.
I didn't have this problem. My daughter started in a toddler bed at 2. She was also potty training at this point. She would get out of her bed frequently. My ex was a tad tougher than I and would get mad when she got out of bed. Me? I asked what she needed and then got her back to bed. The more hoopla you make - the more "awake" they become and the more struggles you will have.
Both my boys - the minute they tried climbing out of their cribs they were transitioned into a toddler bed. They were in a nursery at this point - so there were no toys in there. The changing table, the rocking chair, a radio and the crib. So there was nothing to "play" with.
Sippy Cup? My son is 10 and still brings one to bed filled with water. No juice. NEVER have allowed juice in it for bedtime.
get him into a toddler bed. do it tonight. let him "help" change the bed. Hand daddy the tools, etc. so he's involved in the process. He's 3 or almost 3. He should be in a toddler or twin bed. Especially if you are potty training.
How do you get him to stay in there? Simply - by not making a big ta-do when he gets out of bed. QUIETLY walk him back to his room and tell him it's bed time. Put him back in bed and LEAVE the room. Don't stay and pat him, hold him or anything else. He wins. He gets you. It is BED TIME. this is where you HAVE to be matter-of-fact and be as calm as possible. Don't freak. Don't chase. Don't run. Don't do anything other than state it is bed time. No hugs, no kisses, no back rubs, no more time. Sleep time. And keep doing it until he realizes he isn't going to get his way and get more time with you.
Move the aquarium out. I wouldn't wait until tomorrow.
He is testing his boundaries. And he is winning.
No means no. Period.
Don't yell. Don't scream. He's old enough to understand NO. If it means swatting his hand, then swat his hand. Tell him the consequences for disobeying. Then FOLLOW THROUGH.
take out all the toys, books and chair. Then he won't have stuff to play with.
If he doesn't like that. Tell him that in order to make it back in there, he has to follow the rules - which means stay in bed and sleep.
I realize you state you cannot/will not move other stuff out that you don't want him to get into...this is where you teach him manners and boundaries.
The aquarium was a really really bad idea. It didn't cross your mind that he could fall in head first and drown?
Move it out tomorrow and don't out it back in there until he's at least 6 or 7.
As for the rest of it. His room has to be baby safe. The shelves bolted to the walls, each shelf bolted to the shelf sides and back so that when he climbs he won't have a shelf collapsing or falling over on top of him.
There are all sorts of options for making a room safe. When you said he finally started sleeping in his bed I assumed you meant a baby but your little one is actually a bit old for starting in a toddler bed. IF you are going to do this now is the time because he's already old enough to go to a regular bed if you didn't have the option of changing his baby bed.
I really like what Retta. S. said.
Make the room a huge crib. Get rid of the tank and anything he can climb. Huge gate on the door. Please baby proof his room. I would be in a panic just like you are if he had all that stuff in there. I am going to remember this so when my kids start having children!
You stop the circus which is what it sounds like for bedtime. Jammies, a story, hugs and kisses and good night oliver. turn off the light. if he comes out then back in he goes with a firmer good night. comes out again and a gate goes over. and if he does it repeatedly then the door gets shut. this kind of thing is why I myself never did the co sleeping thing.
oh and about the fish tank thing get it out of his room. would you leave a tub full of water in his room? he can drown in a fish tank as easily as a tub. get it out of there
____@____.com over the baby gate. sounds about right.
poor mama - you have a 2 year old on your hands!
i do agree that we all go through this - it is normal and you will survive.
what works - consistent NO. and, if you haven't got one, it's not too late to invest in a baby monitor. one with video, even better. you will have to sleep with one eye open for awhile. but your answer is, NOTHING will keep him in line unless he is taught better. he WILL keep finding ways around it, if your method is just distract, put out of reach, remove. he's past that. he really has to be TAUGHT that certain things are not okay. he gets out of bed, right back in he goes. (as far as that goes i actually disagree with the baby gate, because you WANT to know when he's up. otherwise, yes, he will get into trouble. you can only HOPE he comes and gets you, instead. to me, a little one's first instinct is usually going to be "go find mama" - if you put a baby gate up and deny him that, then he's going to look for something else to occupy himself. and unless you remove EVERYTHING from his room - including outlets, because half the time hey figure out how to remove those baby-proofing plugs, he WILL get into trouble.) good luck - you can do it!! :)
The fish tank should be moved to a more child proof place regardless...they can be dangerous. 20 gallon tank? He could drown!!
Beyond that, you may be surprised. If he's used to the idea of staying in a crib, he JUST might stay in a toddler bed. You won't know until you try. If he doesn't, then so be it...you'll have to work with him until he does. Try to make the routine AS identical as you can...same bedding, same sheets, same toys, etc.
We live in a VERY small two bedroom apartment and yet I somehow manage to not have our children's shared bedroom covered in toys. I have storage solutions in the living room, flat tubs under the bed, sets in the basement to be brought out when wanted, etc. Where there is a will, there is ALWAYS a way.
My youngest climbed out of her crib when she was 8 months old and that was the end of that. :) You CAN do it!!! My first child never even had a crib...just a little crib mattress on the floor, Montessori style. She's a better sleeper than all of us!
When we switched to the toddler bed our son was running from end to end.and jumping. We thought it wad going to be a long night, but at bedtime we put him in and he never for out. Had to go in a few times here and there to read another story, etc. He has been in a toddler bed for about three mo.that now, still doesn't get out at night and 95% of the time waits in there for me to come get him. He is a climber and mover too.good luck to you and hope it works better then you think, we were lucky it did.
First children put you through all the hardest lessons, V.! LOL! There's no getting around it. They will wow you with their ingenuity, and then frustrate you with it too. You just have to learn to work around his ingenuity and manipulate HIM rather than letting him manipulate you. And, yes, he will if you let him!
Supernanny teaches parents of toddler who are in their beds (not cribs) to sit in the middle of the floor with the lights turned out (night light) and not speak at all or pay any attention to the children in the room. If the child gets out of the bed, she has them get up and put them back in the bed. No talking, no nothing else. The kids get up and down for a couple of hours the first couple of nights and then get really bored with it and fall asleep quicker and quicker, until it's just a few minutes.
That is what I would do if I were you, with the door CLOSED. If you are in the room, Oliver will get used to the door being closed so that when you go out much sooner a few weeks from now, it will be no big deal.
So... turn his bed into a toddler bed. If you need some new linens/blankets etc for this bed, take him shopping with you and give him two or three choices of what you wouldn't mind being in his room. (Never let him see stuff you would hate!) That helps him buy into the "big boy room".
Put AWAY stuff that you don't want him to touch (excellent idea to get the aquarium out of there. He's too little to be on his own with that at this age.) If you have room in the closet to organize his toys and books, that's really helpful because you can put a lock on that door or some sort so that he can't get in there and pull stuff out while you guys are asleep.
About the chair - take it out of the room. Even when the aquarium is gone from the room, he could crawl up on the chair to do all kinds of funny stuff. (Smart little guy!) Since you know that he is a climber, take anything out of there that could hurt him when he climbs on stacks of books. Hopefully there is carpet on the floor in case he falls off of stacks of books - that way he won't get hurt.
It's really important at the onset of him being out of his crib to keep him in his bedroom. Keeping the door closed and training him to stay in his room so that you don't have to worry about him wandering the house is a safety issue, along with the way to get him to sleep after putting him to bed. Start it out now, being 100% consistent every single night, and you'll get through this without a bunch of screaming and crying.
Good luck! You can do this!
Dawn
I KNEW my son would never stay in his bed. He has a 58 gallon fish tank. And oddly - he stayed in his bed. We just tucked him in after stories, said good night and left the room. We never conveyed our worries to him and I guess it never occurred to him that he could get out of the bed. In fact he would call for us to come and take him to the bathroom. I would cross your fingers and see how it goes.
First, do the obvious: Move the aquarium out of his room. Even this "small" one will injure him (and spread water and broken glass everywhere) when he inevitably knocks it over, whether at night or not. I think you know already that it's going to be a source of problems there in his room, so the very first thing to do is just take it out of the equation. If he gets upset that it's moving? Make it positive, put on the happy-happy mommy voice, but do not cave in. It's a hazard in his room and you already have issues with it by day. (And when you move it, be sure it is anchored to the wall wherever it is, just as any large piece of furniture, TVs etc. should be.)
For the other issue -- You ask how to make him stay in a toddler bed.
You can't.
You will have to go through this phase sometime so get it over now. Please do not try to corral him with crib tents (amazing hazard for entanglement or even strangulation as he tries to get out of it). Just be ready to deal and ensure you and your husband handle this change the same way or Oliver will be so confused.
You need a new routine. You will hate to hear this, but you may need to -- for a time -- stay in the room when it's bedtime. This will not spoil him forever or turn him into mama's boy who can't sleep without you there. You are there first and foremost to reassure him through a change, and second, to be bed cop. You read to him; he falls asleep with your hand firmly but gently on him. If he tries to get up, you return him silently to bed. Silently -- do not interact or it becomes a lovely little game to him: I can get mommy or daddy to talk to me! I'll get up again! Then you leave. Eventually you move to a chair in the room, without touching him, then you move to the hallway outside the door. He gradually gets the idea that you are nearby but he needs to stay in bed.
If this routine (which worked very well for us) doesn't appeal, your alternative is to put him to bed, leave the room then, and then when he walks out, silently take his hand or shoulder, turn him around, and walk him back to bed -- as many times as it takes. Over and over. Without getting upset or angry - that's the hard part for adults.
He will learn that getting up gets him nothing -- no reaction, no talking, nothing but being walked right back to bed. Don't even fuss at him -- that is still a reaction and the only way to teach him to stay in bed is to make it utterly boring when he does get out. And of course don't try to discipline him during the day for "being naughty and getting out of bed." He is too young to make that connection and understand that discipline hours later is tied to his actions the night before.
Gating the door is OK but letting him stand at the gate and scream and cry -- some moms will say fine, but I think that only winds up the kid and makes it tougher for the child to get back to sleep. But InMy30s is right - he is going to climb that gate so I really wouldn't bother.
Parents really hate this phase but it IS a phase. You have to go through it at some point. It won't help to be frustrated.
It sounds like you have a climber, so be sure to remove anything that he can climb on and be SURE to attach anything climbable (bookcases, and yes, chests of drawers -- kids can pull out the drawers to act as steps) to the wall behind it. Kids are killed because of things falling on them as they try to climb.
Leave him in his crib until this new nighttime routine has more time to take hold. Remove unsafe items from his room, like the fish tank, and buy a crib net ASAP.
Do they still sell those crib tents? I never needed one, but a friend had to use them for her twins.
EDIT - Never mind. I tried to look them up and it appears they are all recalled.
