...Without assistance. Not the dusting and vacuuming, but the tidying. I'm working with my 4 year old on this but it seems we are far off. If memory serves i was like 12 before my mom stopped helping me. Then again my mother had a hard time teaching and just did everything herself. So i need another gauge other than my upbringing.
UPdate: LOL i get it, they are all slobs until they have their own place. Honestly, though, when its do or die, "go clean your room or your not going to be able to _______!" When can they actually do it when it is demanded of them?
Sorry Jen T. but I"m not buying it. I suppose if you watch your kids like a hawk and keep them from pulling all their clothes out of their drawers and closets and changing outfits unnecessarily, so that the only mess they made was with their toys then maybe. But mine are into everything! they are active and imaginative. I cannot be the only one whos kids do this. Granted, I give them pretty free reign in the house, I don't shadow their every move. So they drag items from the panty (non food), the office, the bathroom, and my closet into their rooms, so the mess is always complicated. She changes clothes 8x a day. and also brings in clothes from her sisters room. She invents all kinds ways to make toys out of non toy items. For example there is a cardboard box in her room she calls her "present", it had a feather duster, some wash clothes, a hair brush, scotch tape, clean diapers, her sisters bibs, various toys, and a doll in it. These are the things I have to clean up all the time. So I"m thinking that until she passes this phase, she will be difficult to pick up after. Yes my daughter can also put away her own toys into bins. Its the clothes and non toy items that are a struggle.
My oldest is 24, can I get back to you on that?
I honestly think the answer is when they get their own house.
Well, my kids are 20, 18, and 15....I'll let you know when that happens!
(Seriously, my middle son keeps his room like a Marines Barracks. My daughter is a hopeless slob, and the oldest is somewhere in between. But at 4 I was still doing it all.)
:)
That happens? lol
Good luck!
On our good days my five year old can do the pickup solo. On our 'I'm tired, hot, hungry, don't want to grow up' days, I have to break it down for him a little bit. "Go put away all the tinkertoys, and then I'll come in to help you with X" often works.
Some days, of course, it's "Go put away your Tinkertoys or they will go in the basement for two weeks because I will see you cannot take care of your toys so go do it right now." and yes, all one breath and no punctuation.:)
And Kiddo is not allowed to take things from the kitchen or other places into his room, or there is a consequence for that. We have those items in each room because that's where they are meant to stay and that's where I expect to find them. What's in the kitchen is MINE, buddy. MINE.
my kids never had 'free reign'
we have the room for toys, where they play, and have always played. their room is for sleeping and quiet time (reading) not for destroying it. i have never had clothes all over the place or them dragging stuff from one place to another. that would have killed me. so to answer your question, start by limiting things they are allowed to do. also, remember, whatever you teach them at home, they will exercise at someone else's home, so if your kids are used to getting into everything, well, that won't sit well with someone else.
as for picking up around their room, in our case, it means making up their bed, i started at around 4. they still do it.
playroom, again, around 4 they could play with whatever they wanted, in their playroom, and when done they had to pick everything up. that taught them whatever they took out that had to put back in. they learned to be more careful :)
I would say about 2yo for all three of mine...
Let me clarify, I make the bed, but I do not pick up clutter/toys... and I'm a neat freak. I do provide all my kids with an organized storage system, and they are to have it looking as if I cleaned up every night - that goes for the playroom and media room as well.
ETA : I'm sorry if you think I'm lying, I'm not... You're correct though, my kids don't drag everything out, my youngest is 3 currently, she knows(as did my other two) not to pull things out of drawers or otherwise tear up the house. That's a totally separate issue than cleaning up their room. And before it's implied again, no, I don't watch my 3 kids "like a hawk", they are appropriately supervised, but they are frequently not right where I can see them....
Um...we're at 9....and counting.
What I do with my 8 and 4 y/o is be very specific. I will tell the youngest to go pick up all his stuffed animals and when he comes back happy as a clam that he did it I say ok, now go put away all your books. He thinks it's a game and it works like a charm!
I still do it with my 8 y/o. Please go make your bed. Ok, now go clean off your head board and throw away garbage and put your books back on the book shelf. Now take these folded clothes and put them away.
As they get older I give them less direction and more instructions at one time. Usually with the older one he knows the drill and will go and pick up his room so I can get in there and vacuum and dust.
I have found the key for my boys is having a place for everything ~ a bin for stuffed animals, a book shelf, a special treasure box for all the small, odd little things they insist on keeping. It really helps my boys to know where stuff goes instead of just saying "pick up your room".
It works for us :)
The only thing in my daughters' room is their beds and their dresser, so my girls don't really have much to pick up in their room. (Oh, my 3 1/2 year old USED to pull all of her clothes out of the dresser and toss them on the floor, bu then I put child locks on the drawers so she can't get them open anymore.) My 3 1/2 year old can (and does if I tell her to) pick up her toys in our play area and my 1 year old has started getting the idea, too. Obviously, the 1 year old is just mimicing big sister, but it still gets the job done!
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I have my 4 year old pick up her floor before story time. I usually help her, but the floor needs to be clear and the closet closed, etc. She tends to just put things on the book shelf or in the bins, it's very disorganized, but my floor is clear. I hate stuff on the floor.
I have a feeling I will be helping her for a long while.....
My son is 3, about to turn 4 next month. But he's been cleaning his room by himself for a while now. And I mean, I go in there afterwards, and it looks like *I* cleaned it. Really, quite impressive. He puts his toys away, and everything gets put where it belongs, books on the right shelves, stuffed toys in the proper bins, cars and other non-stuffed toys in the proper bins, even lines up his bears on the bench the right way, makes his bed and laundry is in its proper place. And he does it without supervision.
He did it today, in fact, without even being asked or told. (Then he cleaned the living room. He told DH, I just feel like cleaning, dad!)
I wonder what he wants...?
Just had to respond to the little scuffle between you and Jen T,
you are BOTH right :)
My oldest two were able to keep things pretty much where they go, it was expected and reasonable.
My youngest uses every single thing in the house as part of her imaginative play, and always has. Even at 13 years old she is constantly moving things around, including large pieces of furniture, changing her clothes ALL the time, etc.
I am not letting her have any more friends over for the rest of the summer (a pretty big punishment) because they keep pulling out EVERYTHING, including carefully packaged party/holiday decorations, but then they don't put anything back the right way, they just mix it up and cram it where ever! Ugh, it drives me crazy!!!
So, no more friends over for now.
And I don't let her keep very many clothes, shoes, collectibles, etc, she just can't handle it. Special things we pack up, everything else we give away.
She is ADHD so I suspect that has something to do with it. She's super impulsive and has ZERO organizational skills :(
I'm not saying your daughter has ADD/ADHD but you may want to keep an eye on her, you never know...
I have found a good motivator is you can't have someone stay over in a pig stye. You also are not allowed to leave the stye and go have fun somewhere clean.
That has helped us this past year.
But she's 12.
Now - don't get me wrong. This girl can clean a bathroom like nobody's business. She VOLUNTEERS to scrub the pots and pans and the dishes that can't go in the dishwasher.
Her own room? nope.
With the right motivation, my 8 year old can do a pretty decent job. My 6 year old can clear the floor but half the stuff will be in the wrong containers. I don't know whether this is an age difference or a personality difference. But like I said, it takes the right motivation, which means it doesn't happen like I want it very often.
I try to make it a game. I see how many toys I can find for the bin and she finds some, too. She almost always wins....I don't remember what age we left the big kids to their own devices. We checked for a long time. By 13 or so we just closed the door and they couldn't go out til it was tidy. So for my DD, I tell her that x doesn't belong here, go put it back...and then we find all the things from the kitchen and take them back, from the living room, etc. Mostly it is just clothes and toys, but occasionally she's pulled something out of the pantry that she shouldn't have taken anywhere.
well my kids are 4 and seven and they *can* clean up their room and toy room by themselves but I am pretty sure it is not in the *right* place. lots of things crammed into corners I dont want to know about. When they cant find something i tell them to go looki in the corner where they crammed everything the last time they cleaned their room to see if it is there. They always know what I am talking about. most days as long as I can vaccum we are ok. On a side note my kids like to make toys out of "trash" as well. They dig empty toilet paper rolls or paper towel rolls out of the trash and color them up and do things with them. Why do I buy toys? for their next birthday they are getting toilet paper! ;0)
Every kid is different. My son is 8 and his room turns into a pig sty...he has a hard time cleaning it. He will do bits at a time. I'll say, tonight pick up your books, or tonight pick up your legos. But getting it really clean - he is terrible at this! My brother was the same way. My mom constantly fought him about this and it was an ongoing battle. Finally when I left for college she gave up and just let him do what he wanted with his room. It stayed a big messy pile till he left for college two years later. Funny that now as an adult he is pretty neat at home. My daughter who is 3 years old picks up her toys herself. She already likes her room clean! I guess she takes after me because as a kid I always kept my room clean. She is too young to do everything, but she is pretty darn neat and tidy. My friend has a little boy the same age and he is obsessive about keeping things clean and in order (Hmmm...OCD perhaps?!).
My GD was doing hers at six. My daughter, on the other hand, never cleaned ANYTHING!
BUT I don't allow things from the kitchen in her room. There is no eating or food in the room and there is no reason why she should have anything else from the kitchen in her room.
My 5 1/2 year old is able to pick up her toys and place them in bins -- not very organized bins, but they are off the floor and off her bed. We started this about 2-3 months ago. At best, she can do it all herself, but most times, it is associated with a threat and i still see 2-4 things on the floor that i have to point out to her. My kids do not drag things out of the kitchen, their closets -- just toys and their art supplies. My daughter likes to vacuum her rug when i'm cleaning with her. =)
