What Age Did You Start Letting Your Daughter Pick Her Own Clothes at the Store

Since my kids could talk, I haven't had much say in what they wear. Though mine don't care about style, they are focused on comfort.

If she's not wearing what you pick, why not let her pick? My daughter is very easy and rarely complains if I get her something. But when I take her along, she prefers to go to resale shops and pick out eclectic and stylish pieces, rather than flock with all the other girls to cookie cutter shops like Justice. It's much less expensive and more interesting and most of the pieces still have tags on. Plus, there's a lot more variety of things to choose from and she can focus on finding things she knows she'll wear.

My dd is three, she picks her own clothes. I have veto power, mainly I wont let her wear weather inappropriate clothes, like shorts in the middle of winter. Her main thing is for her shirts to have a character, preferably dora or a carebear on them. She has certain pairs of pants she likes, I think they are the ones easier to get on and off for the potty. Right now she loves anything leopard print, except she calls is baby jaguar print (like the baby jaguar from go Diego go), she has a full jaguar outfit, shirt, goodie, pants and boots, its pretty funny. I dont really mind, she can wear what she wants.

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My dd is three, she picks her own clothes. I have veto power, mainly I wont let her wear weather inappropriate clothes, like shorts in the middle of winter. Her main thing is for her shirts to have a character, preferably dora or a carebear on them. She has certain pairs of pants she likes, I think they are the ones easier to get on and off for the potty. Right now she loves anything leopard print, except she calls is baby jaguar print (like the baby jaguar from go Diego go), she has a full jaguar outfit, shirt, goodie, pants and boots, its pretty funny. I dont really mind, she can wear what she wants.

Like my mother allowing us, I allowed my kids to pick as early as they showed an interest. Unless something was very inappropriate the most I would say was..."Are you sure that's what you want to wear?" If they were sure I kept my mouth shut. It's the "pick your battles" thing. Save the argument for when you need it.

let her pick her own clothes... unless its a special event or family function, who cares what she wears as long as she is dressed, at 5 does it matter if she wears pink polka dots, and orange flowers, with blue stripes? if someone has an issue with it just tell them she is learning to dress herself...
if she's already interested, whats the harm in trying it out? she's gotta learn sometime.

My two boys could care less, so they have been picking out their clothes since they were about 3. Sometimes we look a hot mess and sometimes they look pretty good. I don't care.
I say, as long as your daughter likes what she has on I don't see the problem (unless of course she is dressed or wants to dress like a 5 year old hooch, in which case THAT would be an issue!)
L.

wheb she was 8 months and would insist on a dress and tap shoes??

honestly why do you care if she wears a clown outfit (i'm assuming something cute and mismatching?) if she's happy let her wear it. i bet most kids in her class would think she looks awesome. they dont tease about not matching until 2nd or 3rd grade and by then she'll learn when she goes in in soemthing odd and she'll decide if she wants to fit in or stand out

As soon as my kids were old enough to open their dresser drawers on their own, they started dressing themselves. I have two daughters, 5 & 7, and they are very particular about what they will and won't wear. They're kids and they're adorable regardless of what they wear so I give them full reign with the exception that it has to be weather appropriate and they know that on special occasions and for family pictures - Mommy decides.

My daughter is 2, and I have been letting her pick out her own clothes since she has been able to make a choice. I may be a little extreme, but even when she was a baby, I would hold up clothes and watch her eyes to see which I thought she preferred to wear. I think it's important to give kids choices, and to let them know that they have a say in what they wear. I think it's important to give kids a sense of individuality, so that they grow up being who they are rather than who others tell them to be. I want my daughter to be confident in who she is, and not easily swayed in the decisions she makes for herself. Again, I realize that this may be a stretch, but it's never too early to start in my opinion.

I remember my parents putting me in some whacky looking clothes, and forcing me to do whatever they wanted me to do in every aspect of my life, so I'm a little sensitive to that. My parents never cared to listen to my ideas, dreams, preferences, etc. I want my daughter to know that I value her, for who she is, and that I will never try to force her to be someone she is not. I want my daughter to know that I love her, and will love her unconditionally. I want her to know that what she wants for herself is important to me, and that will listen to her and respect her as a human being separate from myself.

Everyone, from strangers in the grocery store to my closest friends and family members compliment me on how well behaved and sweet my child is. I don't know if it's just her nature, or if it's because she feels valued and secure, but I tend to think it's a little bit of both. Toddlers throw temper tantrums because they don't know how else to express their feelings of frustration, hurt, etc. They throw tantrums because they are little humans with big sensitive feelings, and I think we should all be sensitive to that. Would you like someone to make you wear something you didn't like? Would you like your child to dress you for work, or to wear something you thought your friends would make fun of you for wearing? Absolutely not. I think it's important to realize that these things are important to kids, even though they don't seem important to us. It's just important to them on a different level.

I don't want my child to place a lot of emphasis on what she wears, or on her physical appearance, but I think it's a natural thing that we all do to some degree. Every child will start to express a need for independence, and this starts as early as the age of 2. My advice is to let her pick her own clothes out. If she looks like a goofball, so what? She's 5. It will alleviate a lot of frustration for both of you. If it's hard in the mornings because she doesn't want to wear the clothes you chose for her, then just let her pick her own clothes out. Ask her what she wants to wear, and then both of you will have less stressful mornings. My mom always says, choose your battles, and I think this is one of those things that you can let your daughter be the winner of. Unless she's wanting to wear bikinis and inappropriate outfits, I'd say let her do her thing. It's good for her to start making decisions, and then learning from them if she makes bad choices. It's better to get all the practice she can while she's young, because one day, she won't get a second chance and the consequences may be serious.

I know we're just talking about clothes here, but I think it symbolizes a lot more than that. I think this is just one example of teaching your daughter to think for herself, embrace her individuality, and feel secure in knowing that her parents value and care about her wants and needs. When she's a teenager, she will be less likely to rebel from feeling like you don't understand her or her needs... and if you don't start letting her make these decisions, you aren't really getting to know HER, and she may be right in thinking that you don't understand her later in life when it's important for her to trust you and feel like she can come to you, because she knows you know her and she knows you care.

Both my kids had their own likes/dislikes/taste about clothes from very young Toddlerhood. And I also knew that.
"They" picked out their own clothes, and what they dressed for the day.
It doesn't matter to me if they match or not.
I'd see so many other Toddlers, dressed like clowns while out.
Its common. Its not a big deal for me.

But along the way, I'd tell or teach my kids... about comfort, about what is appropriate or not etc. But so, in reflection of their own tastes, they do understand. They don't dress like teenagers or dress all skanky, like some kids already are. They know what is appropriate or inappropriate.
But they are kids. They have their own tastes. And its fine.

Then, when choosing and buying clothes, of course I give them feedback. But it is per their own tastes/style.
I don't just let them, (my daughter for example), buy a teeny tiny skirt and teeny tiny tank top. But my daughter wasn't like that anyway. And she isn't like that now.
My son, has his own taste too. And it is typical boy stuff. Superheroes etc.
Both my kids have always dressed themselves for school and chose what to wear for school, and its fine. Even if they don't match. Teachers don't focus on if a kid has matching clothes or not. They all know, that kids can come to school with very varied outfits.

And the way I dress is my way and my kids have their way/their tastes/their own style. Its fine.
But they have never been difficult to dress in the morning. If they ask me "How's this look Mommy!?" I say "That's great! Aren't you creative!" And off they go to school.
But thankfully, my kids do not dress like teenagers... though I have seen many, even Kindergarten kids, dressing like that. And I guess the Mom lets them.

My kids dress like kids, and per their age.
So it has never been a battle or a point of concern.
And my kids are not concerned about attractiveness or not or what the other kids are wearing. They just wear what THEY like.

I've been giving my daughter choices at the store since she could vocalize about what I was asking her. I'll ask her if she likes something. If she does, then we'll get it. If there are a few things, and I only plan to get her one, I let her pick her favorite out of the bunch. I HATED shopping with my mom because I couldn't tell her I didn't like what she had picked for me without hurting her feelings (so I thought). I don't want to end up with that with my girls, because I ended up hating a lot of things in my closet. I just don't present options to my daughter that I don't think are appropriate (for me, that would be a miniskirt on my 4 year old).

Honestly, I don't care.
They can wear what they want, as long as it's decent quality and not inappropriate. It's MY money, so I always have the final say.
I've got WAY more important things to worry about besides the so called "fashion" choices of a child.
As long as it fits and it's clean and safe (they don't look like a skank, and of course no "high" heels or dangly earrings on the playground) I really don't care!

My daughter is also 5 and she is like this too. It probably started around 4, maybe a little after that. I had to stop buying stuff without her present because she wouldn't wear them. Now that I have more of an idea of what she has grown to like I can sometimes buy stuff without her but I try not to. I think if you sort of teach her how to match and how to put together cute outfits she will probably do it on her own, especially since she's so opinionated about it now.

I pretty much let my daughter decide what to wear every day but I have "rules" about what is school appropriate, party appropriate, play clothes, church clothes, etc. There are times when I want her to wear a specific outfit and I let her know that it's my turn to pick out her outfit. She sometimes balks at this but not too often b/c she knows she is "in control" most of the time.

At the stores she sometimes picks out things that I absolutely dislike and I veto them, but offer up something else that is better. Sometimes I do let her buy things I don't love, but I'm totally offended by either! ;)

It's a give and take and it sounds like you can start giving your daughter some more freedom.

I think it's OK to give her a say as long as she's not making all the clothing choices and you have no say. In other words if you take her to a store and you have $10 budgeted on a shirt then you pick out 3-4 shirts that you find appropriate and within budget and then give her a choice of which one she wants. But I wouldn't just set her free to make all the clothing choices. She also needs to be happy with simple, easy to match tops/bottoms because it makes sense financially and it's a good life lesson. My oldest two girls could care less what they wore at that age and really still don't care a bit. However my 4 year old has had preferences since she was 3. I made the mistake of letting her choose every time what she wanted to wear for a while. Then when she refused to put PJ's on because we switched out her summer PJs for winter ones, I realized my mistake. She only wanted a certain pair of summer PJs and nothing else would do. I realized there were also certain clothes that she never would choose because they weren't pink or didn't look like a "princess". So I knew she had to quit being so picky and this behavior had to stop. She had to learn to be more flexible. (If it was a comfort issue it would have been different, but this was purely style.) So I started picking out 2 different outfits and letting her choose which one. If she refused to choose one, we chose for her. After a few days of this she realized we meant business and started being more flexible. Now there are no issues and she's much happier about getting dressed and MUCH more flexible and has learned to like other options. She still prefers pink and princess looking things but she's learned that sometimes we need to wear other things as well and now she no longer minds if she does and is, in fact, happy to do so. :)

Sure some of it may be defiance, but she is not too young to have preferences. You might do better to take her to the store and have her show you what she likes, rather than you picking out clothes to buy her and she just has to wear them. Also, if she picks a silly outfit, it's really okay for her to wear it unless you're going to an event or party. You can also give her a choice of a couple of outfits each day so that she can pick from reasonable choices. Good luck.

She doesn't need to pick her own clothes at the store. Trust me, she's not ready for that, and you'll be there ALL day.

But pick your battles. Let her choose what she wants from the closet. Show her what matches and what doesn't, and then let her decide. If she doesn't match...who cares? She's 5. She has plenty of time to figure out the fashion word.

Trust me...it's not worth the fight. Just tell her to get dressed and be happy that she's WEARING clothes.

Also, put all non-winter clothes into storage...that way you don't have to argue with her about wearing Summer clothes during the Winter. Anything she picks will be fine. Put all too-small clothes away for a younger sibling or donate so she's not inclined to wear clothes that are too small.

Best of luck!

We have a large family and honestly we can't afford to let our kids be that picky as most everyone else on here, LOL. (Nor would I want to.) We have boxes stored of hand-me-downs in every size and my little kids always get so excited when we pull out the next box and they get to see what's in it. Anything they are short of we tend to shop consignment/thrift and fill in the gaps. We buy nice looking things that are reasonably priced. Sure they have helped pick out clothing but it's definitely not all in their hands and we will not cater to certain style/color preferences for fear of "having to fight with them" or "tantrums" or having an "unhappy child". (They are kids and they will get over being told no and probably be the better for it. I never understood the "pick your battles" philosophy. If you teach your kids to respect that when mom/dad says no they should respect that choice and learn to live with it, then there are NEVER any battles to fight. Otherwise they learn they can fuss and whine sometimes and then sometimes get what they want.) Once our kids are old enough to earn money, (we start allowances for chores at age 8 and then as they get older they can earn even more money outside the home doing chores for neighbors, walking dogs, yard work, babysitting, etc.) they can start having more choice in what they pick out with us still reserving veto rights for anything inappropriate (immodest/gross pictures/inappropriate words/etc.) - but by this time our kids have been used to knowing what is and isn't appropriate and so we've never had to veto anything.

When she was able to express a preference, I let her choose within the limits of my budget.

My daughter was like this from birth! I did not know that infants could care about their clothes, but this girl sure did! When she was about a year old, she surprised me at the Children's Place by objecting to some things that I had pulled off the rack and held up to her to see if they would fit. That's when I decided it was better to let her choose her clothes than to fight about it. If her grandma sends her clothes that she objects to, I keep them in her drawer and casually offer them once in a while for a few months until it seems she will not budge on it. But there have been several items that she eventually did like and I was glad I kept them in the drawer. I thought I'd be able to reuse some of her brothers' clothes that were gender neutral colors but she can tell the difference and will have nothing to do with clothes that "make her look like a boy". Recently I realized that she wants to wear pink pants much more often than her pink pants are clean. Picking up one more pair of pink pants from a yard sale significantly reduced the clothing fits in the morning.

My little one has had very clear preferences on clothes since at least 2 1/2. I've learned that it's not worth the battle to make her wear clothes that she does not like. She's five, and she loves to shop. So, I usually take her shopping with me for her clothes and let her pick the ones she likes. If I don't like them or don't like the price, I nix them. (For examples - I don't like any kind of skull/crossbones designs on little girls, so that is a non-negotiable item.) Sometimes I'm a bit sad when she doesn't like my favorite outfit choices, but we usually can agree on appropriate outfits to wear. I'd rather have her wearing a happy smile with the outfit that was my 2nd choice than wearing a giant frown with an outfit I have to force her to wear.

She wears uniforms to school Monday - Thursday, and she's found a way to mix/match those to choose her own outfits. Even so, she lives for Fridays when she can 'wear whatever I want'.

My daughter has been picking out her own clothes since she was 2, but it must have been around 13 months that she started wanting to pick what she wore out of her own closet. I was safe as long as it was purple. Around 2 she started to care about "style."

I would give her some say within your parental parameters. If my DD needs a shirt, I will give her options on shirts. I will buy what she likes as long as it is appropriate and within budget and all that. I tell her upfront what we are there to buy - or not. Sometimes she cares and sometimes not. She cares more about shoes than jeans. I will let her look like a clown if she is clean and appropriately dressed for the weather/event. I try not to put my foot down too often. Usually DD is OK if she gets a say, even if she doesn't get to choose the whole outfit. I also give her options on her hair if we have time. She is 4.

If your DD takes forever to pick something out, try to limit her choices. Say, "It's cold today and you need to dress for play at school. Here are two shirts and two pairs of pants. Please pick one of each." Or lay out her clothes the night before. If she doesn't give you a hard time in the AM, maybe she gets more options or can watch a cartoon.

I suggest that it's now time to let her HELP pick out her clothes at the store some of the time. I also suggest that you lay out two choices for her and let her pick which outfit she'll wear. Nothing wrong with a clown outfit every now and then but not when you're buying clothes. Do let her put together the clothes that she has in any way even if you don't think it's attractive.

I suggest that this is her way of showing independence. Clothes are a safe way for her to express her individuality. I would not fight with her over what she wears. She is not being defiant. She is developing a sense of self. You want her to do this and allowing her to choose clothes is much better than having her throw tantrums.

My daughter and I were shopping today with my 20 mos old granddaughter. My granddaughter saw a Minnie Mouse pj set and grabbed onto it. My daughter bought it for her. My daughter said that McKenna likes certain clothes and brings them out and tries to put them on. She's especially fond of anything Sponge Bob that her big brother wears. So, no, your daughter is not too young to have clothing preferences and for you to allow her choices.

I see you already have your answer but I just wanted to weigh in.

At 5, my GD became a fashionista also! She definitely has her own taste and she will mix and match outfits that I never would have put together! Some are great! Others not so much. LOL! BUT I always let her wear what she has put together. I don't want to stiffle her creativity and fashion sense. I can see her being the next Rachel Zoe!

i take my daughter shopping with me 80% of the time. but i know what she likes and sometimes she gets a little sassy but all in all she is a child and will wear what i tell her to.