What Are My Options?

You would need a modification to the visitation order - which you can only get through the court.

S.

I have been through this on BOTH sides...It is not easy..My husband and I have kids from our previous and one together..My son, who is 8 has had serious safety issues with his dad's new wife (she has 5 kids of her own and another on the way)...Anyway, after involvement with CPS, over $2000 to an attorney, mediation and every heartache in between...My son sees his Dad every other weekend...We finally came to arrangement where his Dad has to be there...but it seems universal kids have a problem with this regardless of safety issues...It is important that she see her Dad..maybe you guys can work out a similar agreement where she can be there only if her father will be there as well...

On the other side, my husband's son, who is 11 and we have shared custody of (1/2 the time)...all of a sudden said he didn't like being at our house...We were shocked becuase my son and our daughter are so happy and love my husband more than anything...Anyway, my husband's ex kept him from us for over 6 weeks...and this continues..Anytime he is in trouble or has something he would rather do...he wants to stay at his Mom's...This has torn my husband's world apart..and hurt him deeply.

So, what I am saying is...see if you can work something out without spending money (probably won't get you anywhere anyway)...and where your daughter gets to see her Dad..A court may allow for her to decide...but what would you want your ex to do if the roles were reversed?? I beleive seeing her Dad is important..

I wish you the best of luck...These situations are really hard and ZI feel for you.

What does your daughter say? does she want to go and if not, why not? What are your issues about her safety? There is a lot unknown to make suggestions. Does all the information come from your daughter or have you spoken with her dad or the new wife? with out a change in the orders, you cannot just with hold visitation but there are things that can be done if the issues are large..........hth

I have lived in Texas all of my life and what the other poster said about picking which parent you live with at 12 is true, I don't know if that means that you have to force your child to visit. I would talk to your ex and let him know how your daughter feels. It will obviously take a while for your daughter to get used to the new situation, and him forcing her to come will not make things any better. This is only going to cause more tension between the new wife and his daughter. I think he has to realize that she feels like she has been replaced, she used to be the only girl in his life and now there is a new one. He needs to spend a little one on one time with his daughter and gradually introduce the wife into the picture, even if this means that the wife has to stay somewhere else until this happens. If the wife doesn't understand that then he married the wrong person, kids come first.

As for violating the order for visitation if he will not cooperate, I would try asking your lawyer. I know when my mom would violate the order my dad would call the police, they would come out but there was nothing they could do to enforce the rules just because they are court ordered. There is nothing that the police can do, but I don't know if mom ever got in trouble with the courts for this.

I think the best thing to do is meet with your ex over lunch and talk to him about how your daughter feels, without the new wife. Good luck!

In most states, the law says that a child between the ages of 12-14 can decide who they wish to live with and whether or not they wish to continue visiting a parent. I am not sure of the law in Texas or whether this even applies in this state. I would contact an attorney. Surely they can answer this question at no cost without a consultation. Good luck to you. I have been in this situation and completely understand what you are going through.

It truly doesn't matter if you were married or not. If there is a visitation order from the family courts, you must follow it. If you have concerns about your daughter's safety, then you need to hire an attorney and work to get the visitation order changed. I am sure that it is difficult to see your daughter unhappy, but you must comply with the courts. Good luck!

I understand your concern for your daughter and I went through this too with my parents. Your daughter is old enough to decide if she wants to see her father or not. If she doesn't want to, don't force her because the courts won't either. There were times I chose not to see my father and that was my choice. Of course, the courts are supposed to tell you this at the time of the custody hearing but many forget or just don't to avoid problems. It is legal for you to keep her though as long as it isn't against her will. Good luck!

My husband and I both lost our mates due to death. We married 5 years ago, between us we have 6 children. We started going to a Blended Families class before we got married, and one of the things that they said was that it takes at least 5 to 10 years for families to blend. It has been rough, but all of the couples in the class share their problems, and the teachers are wonderful. We have now been married 5 years and my children are just beginning to blend with us even though my husbands children were great right from the beginning. The thing that helped the most is knowing that it is normal for them not accept the new members in the relationship. If you are interested in the class it is at 9:30 am Sunday mornings at the Richland Hills Church of Christ building.