What Are You "Strict" About, What Are You "Hey, Whatever" About, with Your Kids

Fun questions about parenting styles.

Strict about back-talk, screen time, and being kind.

Whatever about clothes, hairstyle, food (for the most part, I make one meal and you can eat it or not, but you don't get junk instead and I don't get worked about about it), and homework (kid faces consequences from the teacher for incompletes and I support that, but I don't stand over them and enforce homework time).

ETA: The other responses make me think that there might be things I would be strict about, but my kids take for granted that certain things are required, so they have never pushed me to do otherwise. For example, riding in a car seat, wearing a bike helmet, going to the dentist - these things just are the way of the world, in their eyes.

My kid just turned 13...I know a few cuss words slip out...I don't make a big deal of it...I probably let a few slip too.
I really like her to get enough sleep during the school year. Homework is a must.

I was pretty loose about most things, especially the longer I parented. I learned to stay out of their homework, for the most part. If I had had more support from husband, I would have been more strict about teenage rudeness and attitude, but he wanted to play the buddy and the good guy. Now that I'm a teacher I know that it's pretty easy to curtail attitude with the calm consequence, and I wouldn't put up with that for a second. You're rude? Give me the car keys. Give me attitude? You lose your computer for a week. No more will a teenager make my life miserable.

I was strict about not giving them much money or buying them things, because we really didn't have much money. My adult daughter just thanked me for that. She said that it was hard at the time, because all of her friends got everything they wanted, but she thinks she turned out the better for it.

i am mostly hey whatever about most stuff and dh is strict about nearly everything. i don't care what you wear as long as your not naked. and i don't give a daily bath either. i do correct my children so they have manners and when it starts i will be making them do homework. i try to get them to do chores daily but at 6 and 4 i am not worried about it, dh plans on starting the allowance for chores done soon with ds so it will be more of a strict thing when theres a payoff for working.

Strict -
Respect
Lying (GAH! I hate lying)

Easy -
Clothes
Hair
music

THat's not to say that there are not things they need to do every day (chores, homework) but that the things I find myself really shrugging my shoulders about or being stingy about is not that much. I think I am pretty middle of the road on a lot of things.

I was whatever about homework - that was her responsibility, not mine. If she didn't do it, she got an F. Natural consequences.
I made her responsible for her own laundry. If she didn't have clean clothes, that was her own doing.
She learned her choice words from me - I didn't care if she lobbed f-bombs; I just taught her how to choose her audience so that she didn't get into trouble away from home.

Great question. (2 boys 14 and 16) I'm strict about manners, doing what you say you're going to do, respect and speaking the truth and all safety related issues. I'm easy on clothes, longer hair and let room cleanliness slide when they have an opportunity to go do something fun at the last minute.

Let's see...I'm strict about:
Manners, Behavior, Hygiene, Honesty, Talking back/being Respectful and School Grades.

Not so strict about activities for play, chores (they just have 2 each), bed time.

We are strict about manners and learning how to be a responsible person - we don't want them going in to the world to become other peoples problems.

We are chill on most everything else. Music, movies, activities, etc.

I'm strict about respect and lying. I'm strict about spending some time outside every day, even if for just 10 minutes. I'm strict about staying active be it through sports or just nightly walks. I'm strict about kindness and safety and no makeup. I'm strict about attending temple and dharma school every Sunday.

I'm relaxed about clothes, hair, homework and bedtime on weekends. I'm relaxed about having friends over frequently. I've also given up on expecting dd to keep her room clean and tidy. We just keep her door closed. I'm relaxed about showers. If she skips a day it's not the end of the world.

If it has to do with safety it is non-negotiable. Wear your seat belt, carseat or booster until tall enough to properly sit with just the seat belt, don't do dumb dangerous things and the like. Clothes I have some simple rules but for the most part I don't care. Must be weather and activity appropriate, if it's too small you might get one last wearing if it's something like a favorite shirt but then it gets donated. When I do have a reason for them wearing something specific I make it clear why and allow them choices within what is necessary. Thankfully clothes aren't a battle here at all. Basic hygiene like brushing your teeth every day, combing your hair daily and showering often enough even if it's not daily is not up for discussion.
I am adamant about using manners and being an overall decent human being. I don't care about things like if they swear in something like a moment of excitement or when something goes wrong but you do not use it to hurt another person. Bullying and intentional meanness of any kind is not tolerated! They are expected to be a helpful part of the family, helping to keep the house clean and the like.
By and large my husband and I are pretty laid back. So many things aren't mountains to die on.
If my kids want blue hair I don't care. We are waiting to let my daughter get her ears pierced because we don't think she's quite ready and the medical community recommends waiting until closer to 8 to allow for rapid growth up to then. She'll most likely get them done for her birthday. I wouldn't call things like that strict though.

We have rules. They are based on having integrity - honesty, being kind, being responsible, etc.

So we're not so much strict as - you know the rules, if you lie to someone (worst offence here), then what are you going to do to fix it?

Stuff like chores or homework - they figure out for themselves. We guide them but it's their responsibility. Once the get a crappy mark - that's a good learning moment.

I've never viewed being strict as very helpful in getting them to take over where they should be responsible. It's more about consequences.

We're easy about everything else pretty much. Rules about safety obviously.

I find just trying to instill all the values and being decent etc. is exhausting as it is. If I had to time how long they were on their devices, or monitor everything they ate, or when they showered ... it just doesn't matter in the bigger scheme of things.

My kids are only 4 years and 18 months so I don't have many things I am too strict about -- a lot of things are work in progress, but I'm strict about the following:

Oral hygiene - my 4 year old brushes 2 times per day and floss once a day and my 18 month old brushes his teeth and also has his gums/teeth wiped down with a wet washcloth before every nap/bedtime.

Sunscreen - if the kids are spending more than 15 minutes outside, then sunscreen on all uncovered parts of their bodies, including behind the ears.

Screen time - none for my 18 month old and limited time for my 4 year old.

No hitting, kicking, or other violent behavior toward others.

Sugar intake.

My boys are 12 and 18. The 18yo is moving out of state for college in a couple of weeks.

When they were young, probably birth to 7ish, we were "strict." We taught them the importance of respecting others, of everyone doing his part to keep the house neat and clean, of being kind, and I'm a high school teacher and the value of learning is always at the forefront.

From the time the boys were about 8ish, we were able to relax. Our family values were constantly being reinforced through example, but the boys know how to behave and share our values. They pick up after themselves, help others when needed, keep their grades up because they enjoy learning (not because of the grades - we put little importance on grades, however excellent grades have followed). We live on a farm and the boys are free to roam. I trust them to come home when I ask them to. It has been nice not having to monitor every move they make. They have and will continue to make mistakes, but they learn from those. I make mistakes parenting, too, but so far the boys are doing well.