What Do I Do??!! Help Please I'm Going Bananas..

Updated on November 12, 2011
E.A. asks from El Paso, TX
11 answers

My daughter has never cared if she had poop in her diaper NEVER and would nevr cry about it and now that she can sign and talk somewhat she still doesn't tell me when he has a dirty diaper.
She knows the sign for potty she can say poop she has a potty chair she knows that's where you poop she has pooped in her potty a couple of times but it of course is a work in a long progress

She is 21 months old. She knows what poop is she knows when she's pooping and she doesn't say it frustrates me because sometimes I dnt see that she's pooping
ex.. She stops doing what she's doing to poop. Or i dnt smell it right away and she could've had it for 15 Mins.idk so is there anything I can do? Or just wait for her to just do it?

Also I'm rlly frustrated because for evry single diaper change she just won't stay still!!!! I give her the iPod to play her games and she still reaches to her bottom to touch the poop

Just right now she did that and got poop on her hand her check the wipe box my comforter the bathroom floor and both her shirt and mine. I just took off her shirt and went to give her a shower but man was tha frustrating... I'm almost in tears at outta control the situation got. I gave her the iPod during this change it didn't work I gave her a toy she threw it at me and I spanked her and she just got more outta control. What the hell am I doing wrong? I always manage to stay calm and just quickly force her to change her diaper I have even bribed with gummy bear when I was desperate for her not to kick me during one of these changes. Do I jut write this off as one of THoSE days?

Soo what am I doing wrong? What else can I try?? And can anyone relate??!!

Sorry if it's long or sounds like a rant I was frustrated and needed to get it all out
Thanks for listening/reading :(

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So What Happened?

@ Kelly g. I spanked as a last resort she wouldn't listen to my "stop" " stay still then you'll go play" so I lightly tap her on butt not so hard that she cried but enough to have felt it, it was my last resort. I dnt like spanking herald I rarely do but I just didn't know what else to do.

And i dnt expect her to be potty trained I have just started indroducig it for about a month now.
The whole bribing with candy was a whole other last minute try to get her to stay still enough to wipe her butt!

Thank you to all the moms that actually had helpful advice. I will def try everything suggested :) thanks so much.

Featured Answers

☆.H.

answers from San Francisco on

This is totally normal! When my son went through that phase I changed him on the floor. If he got out of hand I used my feet to pin him down by the shoulders while I finished.

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Not sure why people think you were asking about potty training. My son was very terrible with diaper changes at this age. He also had sensory processing issues and could not have cared less about having a wet or poopy diaper (or later about wet or poopy undies). Fortunately I did not have your problem with him wanting to grab the poop.

Here are a couple suggestions:
1) I always asked him if he wanted to stand or lay down for the diaper change (I think a lot of toddlers don't like the feeling of being forced to be on their back).
2) Set some rules ahead of time and review them every time BEFORE you start the diaper change. Kids at this age can understand short explanations or rules but don't remember them from session to session.
3) If it is the texture/feel of the poop she likes them consider giving her something to manipulate that is similar (play dough comes to mind).
4) You could also try giving her a wipe of her own and have her practice reaching with the wipe. It will keep her attention, make her feel involved, etc. Sure she might get a little on her but that is what soap and water (and more wipes) are for.
5) Give her short little tasks to do during the change...grab your toes for me, hand me a wipe please, can you show me your ear, etc. Engage her in a song.

Hope this helps. And remember my daily motto...THIS TOO SHALL PASS :)

6 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

It is only poop.
It can be washed or wiped off.
Do not get so freaked out that it gets on her.

I know it is frustrating to you, but you are the adult and need to keep a clear head.

All children at some point get tired of having to stop what they are doing to have their diaper changed.. Heck sometimes once they are potty trained it happens that they do not want to stop and go to the potty, so they poop and pee in their underpants.

She is still only 21 months. She may know that something is happening, but not quite understand the feeling is producing poop. Our daughter wanted nothing to do with potty training until she was almost 4.. Not for the lack of me trying.. But once SHE was ready, it only took her 2 days to get it and no accidents.

For the squirming diaper changes...
I learned to set up her changing station so that the wipes were open, the diaper was unfolded before I dealt with the dirty diaper. I tried to keep in mind that our daughter needed clothing that could easily be pulled off. Snaps on the pants legs, dresses.. Sometimes, I took her tights, pants, or shorts off before even putting her up on the table. This saved time so I could Wrestle her for just the diaper off, the wiping of the bottom and the quick clean diaper placed back on her.

Consider moving the changing table to a different part of the room just to give her something new to look at. Instead of spanking her, blow hard into her face. Or start singing super loud. Or make clicking noises with your mouth.. whistle.. Distract. And work as fast as possible.

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K.G.

answers from Fort Wayne on

let her go without the diaper. No bottoms at all. It took my dd who is now 28mo about 1 month of putting two and two together and poop on her potty or on the big girl potty but she was 25mo when she really showed interest. now she just runs over to her little floor potty and goes. yes she did have accidents but she did get the connection. it will happen.gl

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A.K.

answers from Phoenix on

Someone else suggested this also but letting my son stand up while changing him was the only way I could accomplish it around that age. He was so busy all the time , the changing wasn't the problem , it was the laying down.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

You are not doing anything worng. You have a strong willed daughter. I had 4 like that. When they would not cooperate during diaper changes I would hold them down, dirty diaper still on, by bending their knees up to their chest and say say very firmly NO. If that didn't work I would take my left arm and hold their left arm so across their body and shoulders and bend the knees with my right arm and again say NO. It only takes 2-3 times and they got it, lay still and this won't take long and you can go play again. Basically you are pinning them down and don't let go until they stop struggling.
Oh and give her a toy that can be easily washed. When she settles down smile and tell her what a good girl she is and talk silly and play and she will learn that diaper changes don't last long.

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

Neither of my children were anywhere near ready for potty training at 21 months. It is frustrating, but I think that you are expecting too much here.

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

Take a deep breath. Understand this is normal.

If you are doing the mainstream "readiness" model of toilet training, she's a little young. She's 21 months old. She can't do the same things or think in the same way as a four year old.

If you are doing other models of toilet training she is absolutely old enough to potty train. Read "Diaper Free: the gentle wisdom of natural infant hygieine" However, spanking is inappropriate in these models. The early models of toilet training require a cheerful attitude and no punishment. Otherwise they don't work.

She probably needs to explore her body and what that is and what poop is in order to master control of her body. This process will be disgusting. Don't give her electronics.

Try setting up a large non-slip mat in your tub and put the potty there (in the tub). When you observe her pooping, whisk her off to the potty, set her on it, and let her explore however she needs to. Let her satisfy her curiosity. Recruit another adult with a stronger stomach to supervise, if necessary. Then clean her off and proceed with your day.

After she is done checking out poop, talk a lot about poop. Be cheerful. Here's a sample script "Poop is really smelly and messy! If it gets on our toys like iPod, it breaks them and then we have to throw the iPod away. Then we will have no iPod. That is so sad. Poop needs to go in a potty. That way it doesn't get other things all smelly and messy. If poop goes in a diaper, that's okay, but it's still a little sad. Mommy will help clean you up, though. Mommy only touches poop with a toilet paper or a diaper wipe. You can touch poop with a toilet paper or a diaper wipe too, just like mommy. But don't touch poop with your hands! That gets your hands all smelly and messy. Yuck! You can touch your bottom when your bottom is clean! When I say 'all clean!', you can touch your bottom to see how clean and nice it feels. If you want to squish something, we can play with sand or mud or playdough. They aren't stinky. But we don't play with poop."

Revisit this message over and over again. Make sure she *can* touch her bottom when it is clean. Give her a wipe and let her help for the last little bit. Don't make poop shameful. Just cheerfully say in many different ways at many different times, that we don't touch poop with our hands.

Try to give her more control over diaper changes, instead of trying to quickly force the issue. Have her stand while you're changing her instead of lie down. Let her wipe herself, when possible. Let her put on the new diaper, with your help. This will be a lot slower, but she'll probably be a lot more cooperative.

Good luck!

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N.S.

answers from Panama City on

Wow. I can't believe itsome of the posts i just read. Sammi'sMommy is very upset and wrote here asking for help NOT for someone to judge her! @Kelli, if you don't have anything nice to say i don't think you should have wrote anything. People here should post the advices not the insults. And just since you went that way, i personally think that 2 years old is not too young to potty train. If you can talk you can go on a potty!
To Sammi'sMommy. I will tell you my story. My son was potty train when he was 1 years old. I don't like diapers all that much. I started letting him run around the house without diaper and he had couple of accidents. But he also doesn't like to get his hands in stuff. When he touched it he ran to me saying :Mommy, ewww! and i explained to him and showed that he is supposed to do it in the potty not on a floor. and the next time when he did it, he point at it and was waiting for my response and i explained it again to him holding his hand that it was supposed to be in the potty, pointing at the potty.
He is 2 right now and wears underwear and every tiem he wants to potty (pee or poop) he runs to me and says: I wan potty. and i take his pans off and he runs on a potty.
Try letting her ran around naked (well, bottoms off) in the house for 5 days, explaining and showing everything. It should work.
Hope it helps.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

You aren't doing anything wrong, your daughter is just growing up and changing, and exploring her world.

You've gotten some good suggestions here, I think. Some parents learn to change a diaper standing up (I never quite mastered that). I just learned to do them quickly. My stepson and DIL are Muslim and follow some bathroom procedures that differ from what we are used to. For their 2 year-old, they always change her in the tub and then rinse/wash her off with a shower-like nozel. It actually works very well for keeping her clean.

I started potty training my daughter quite young, but it does seem to be a longer process when started earlier - my choice. I knew my daughter and figured by 2 1/2 it would be a power struggle. She was out of diapers by 26 months.

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C.C.

answers from Houston on

I think I would have done the same thing...I see so many toddlers that run their parents! And then I think...just wait til they're in school. Get a grip on them now....they are smarter than you think.

Updated

I think I would have done the same thing...I see so many toddlers that run their parents! And then I think...just wait til they're in school. Get a grip on them now....they are smarter than you think.

1 mom found this helpful
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