What Do Other Daddies Do with Potty Traing Girls?

Updated on June 10, 2008
B.V. asks from Lees Summit, MO
12 answers

Hello, I have 2 questions...
My daughter is a little over 2 1/2 and we are struggling with potty training issues. She is hearing impaired so speech is a problem with some sounds like 'P' and 't' so we're limited on what she can say. So we say stinky for poop and trying to say "tt" for urine but it comes out sounding the same from her. But anyway she knows what it means to go stinky in the toilet because she's done this many times just not on a continual basis. She usually tells us at some point but not always ahead of time and even when she does it in her diaper she'll hold herself and say she's stinky but sometimes can't be convinced to get changed. I don't know if she gets the "tt" part. When I've put her in a pull up or training underwear she'll hold herself and say she's wet just matter of factly but it doesn't bother her and I have a hard time getting her to let me change her.

So does this all mean she's just not ready? Will it eventually bother her? we used to give her special candy but when she goes in her diaper she'll mention candy and we'll say no, you can't have candy because you went potty in the diaper, no candy. Then she'll shake her head and say no candy and go on about her business.

My other question is my husband is worried about taking her out to different places that they usually go alone and having to take her to the potty obviously in the mens room. He has a problem now with him having to go with her so he always tries to go to the bathroom beforehand so she's not standing there watching him or any other man go potty. What do other daddies do with daughters? I said well you can't just stop taking her out places until she's old enough to go to the bathroom by herself and you stand outside the ladies room waiting for her. Plenty of other daddies take their daughters out so maybe someone else can help solve this mystery. Thanks for your help.

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thanks everyone for your input on both questions. I got some ideas to use. We do sign language too but she has really not picked it up as much as I'd have liked even though she has been watching videos and us do signs with her since she was 6 months old. I used to sign in my church many years ago and fell love with the language so it seemed smart to use baby signs to know what she needed while she was learning to talk. I did not however realize that there were different signs for urine and defecation which is what I was needing to help her understand the difference between the two and also for us to know what she needs to do. All of the adults I signed to just used the toilet sign so I never had to use the others. Also the on the go potty and having my daughter stand outside the stall facing it is a good idea so he can see her at all times. As far as the tongue tie goes...I'm still not sure what to do because based on what everyone said, she must not be severe as she can stick her tongue out a little and touch her teeth with her tongue and do a licking motion albeit it's not as good as it should be. If it weren't for the sounds she's not making right I'd leave it alone. So i guess the best place to start is taking my SPT advice along with other of you and go get a referral to an ENT. Thanks so much for your input.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.W.

answers from Kansas City on

Most places have family restrooms now.....and if not well she is only 2 and 1/2 and if he takes her and goes into the actual stalled restroom I don't see why there would be an issue.....
Barb

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

my husband takes our two girls to the stall with the door in the men's bathroom. If there's someone in there standing up, he holds the girls eyes and guides them to where they need to go. He also tries to use the family bathrooms when there is one, but at restaurants and things, there usually isn't one.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.D.

answers from St. Louis on

I think you're right about her maybe not being quite ready yet. I think when she is really ready she will be bothered by the feeling of wetness, want to use the potty more, and be more interested in general. Our daughter just turned two so we've started talking about this issue with our Parents-As-Teachers Educator. She tells us the nerve-endings and brain connections needed for feeling your urges and controlling your and holding your muscles involved in the potty-training process are actually some of the last to develop and usually don't fully develop until three or four. So, that isn't to say some kids don't start potty-training sooner and some are successful, but all kids are different and there certainly isn't a rush if your daughter isn't ready to fully participate yet. We've talked with our Educator a couple of times about starting potty-training early and having it be a longer process or starting when they are really ready and having it be a much shorter process. We use sign language in our house with both our babies, and I can't tell you how wonderful it is to have an idea about what they are asking for! It is strange to have a little person living in your home with you who can't communicate exactly what they want for at least couple of years, so sign language has been a huge help! Our kids aren't hearing impaired (although they are frequently listening-impaired...then again, what do you expect from a one and two year old, LOL:), but sign language is very popular, easily accessible and easy to teach. And also I find a lot of places I go other parents know it so they can also understand my kids, a huge help! Anyway, I use the ASL Browser online to look up any new words to teach my kids, it is very helpful because there is a little video with each sign. Here is the website if you don't already have it: http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/browser.htm There is a different sign for urination, defecation, and toilet so you could pick any of the three to differentiate or just use any combination that is easiest for your family. So we are starting to use the signs and occasionally if my daughter wakes up dry or before a bath I'll set her on the potty so she is basically getting familiar with the idea of what goes on there. Very soon we'll set out the potty chair so she can get familar with it and use it when she wants to, but we won't really go at potty-training until she seems much more motivated, there's plenty of time (although I'll be very happy to say goodbye to diapers!).
Great suggestions on what to do in public, I've been wondering about this myself lately. The portable potty sounds great for emergencies. Otherwise it sounds like we just need to start paying attention to the bathrooms at different places, so when the time comes daddy and daughter don't have to stop going out, just figure out and go those places with family or single restrooms when it will be a longer outing! Great suggestions, thanks:)!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter is having similar issues with potty training. At first I thought that maybe she just wasn't ready but now I am thinking that if she understands enough to tell me that she is stinky or wet, then she understands enough to be free of diapers. I have read a lot of things that say once you switch to underwear, don't go back to diapers. So this week I have determined that we will not wear diapers at all during the day no matter how many accidents she has. She understand what she needs to do, she just chooses not to care. So I think that if we just take away the diapers and don't give her the choice anymore, she will figure it out.

As for Daddy taking out a little girl, a lot of places have "family" restrooms these days where you can go to change a diaper or take a little one to the bathroom. You might point out some of these places to him so that he can be more comfortable taking her out.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I too was going to suggest you start using the sign for toilet.

You make a closed fist, with your thumb peeking up between your index and middle fingers (like the "I got your nose" thing) and you rock your hand back and forth, as if your you're pointing your tumb at the corners of the ceiling to your right and left.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

You may try to keep a small potty chair in the car in cases where your husband doesn't feel comfortable taking her to a public potty. There are several that will store under the seat. Baby Bjorn makes a very small chair and there are also portable chairs that include disposable liners---especially nice when you're taking long drives or are at a public park where there might not be restrooms nearby.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Wichita on

Good Morning B.. Since your little Angel is hearing impaired some, have you used sign language? Baby Einstein has a DVD calling Signing Hands for little ones that is awesome. Our 3 yr old grandson isn't hearing impaired we just wanted him to know different things etc. I do know sign language some what, took classes in Tx for 2 yrs. I've always been fascinated with Sign.
The sign for potty is a closed fist with thumb sticking up, and you shake ( back & forth, Side to side ) the fist and say potty.

As for Dad's with bathroom issues, I know some Wal-mart's have a family restroom, changing table, doors. Some restaurants or fast food places have single toilets etc with doors that lock. ;)

Pull ups for outings are A-OK
Good luck in your quest.

D.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Your daughter will eventually decide she doesn't like the feel of the wetness or poop. We put our girls in the thick training panties and after a few days they hated to be wet or poopy. We even found the plastic covers to go over them in case of accidents.
As for your husband...my husband had two girls to deal with (very close in age). He would cover their eyes and actually kept a handkerchief (sp?)with him and if one or both had to go then he'd cover their eyes until they got to the stall in the mens room. He did have them go before they left. Now they have the family bathrooms where men or women can go in with their child. Those are there for Men with girls and Women with boys. When our girls turned 5 he let them go into the womens bathroom by themselves and waited outside the door. If they seemed to be taking to long, he'd holler in the bathroom for them and they'd better make sure they answered (they always did). I hate when moms bring their sons who are over the age of 5 in the womens bathroom. They tend to start "looking". I think they are too old to be in there. I was in the bathroom the other day and there was a boy around 8 or 9 in the women's bathroom and I wanted to walk out. One of my girls even said they were a little ansy about going to the restroom while he was in there. But we needed to go. Okay, sorry about the soap box there. Keep encouraging your husband to take your daughter with him. Have her potty before they leave. And slap a pull up on her until she is completely potty trained. Then hopefully he'll have an idea of what he feels comfortable doing. Good luck and God Bless.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Kansas City on

As far sound goes, I did potty sign language. My daughter can speak, but it worked well for her. When my daughter goes with my husband, I put a pullup on her (just incase they don't make it). Most places have a family potty (Target,malls) Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.M.

answers from Lawrence on

It seems like your daughter knows when she has to go, so its a good time to push the potty training. Personally, I think pull ups just hold kids back, but sometimes they are necessary, like when you're on a road trip or going shopping. With both of my girls, we began in the spring and just took off their diapers. They ran around with nothing on the bottom for a long time. Its pretty easy with girls, since they can just wear dresses or skirts. Neither of them liked peeing down their legs or pooping on the floor, so it didn't take long. Our youngest pretty much potty trained herself, and was done by 23 months. The oldest was 2 1/2. Also, I took them to the store and let them pick out their own undies. That was pretty special, and they tried to take care of them.
As for using public restrooms with daddy, we always talk about giving people privacy in the bathroom. My husband takes them whenever necessary, and hasn't had an issue. I think they just go into a stall and take care of it and ignore anyone else in the bathroom. My kids are also very wary of strangers because I really emphasize stranger danger, so they don't go up and talk to a strange person or even really make eye contact. That may be part of why its never been an issue.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.R.

answers from St. Louis on

Whenever I had to use the restroom, and my son came in with me, I'd have him stand at the door so that I could see both his feet. That helped keep him from wandering eyes, because I also talked to him thru the door.

As for running around, I always think banks have wonderful bathroom facilities that are usually very clean, are not used much, are not busy, and are easily accessible. Park in the lot, run in, run out, plus there's a bank practically on every corner.

I don't believe that 6 is too old to have your son in the lady's bathroom. They are not mature enough to handle situations that might come their way when alone in the men's bathroom. Isn't that why we're bringing our little ones in with us to begin with, besides the 3 & unders who still need physical help from us? In kindergarten they are usually taught the ettiquette of using a bathroom alone, getting in, getting out, washing hands, not talking to people in the bathroom, but I didn't assume they were ready at 5 for all that. So having them stand at my door, facing it, was a good alternative for me. I think the same can help in the men's bathroom when no other alternative is available at that time.

Best wishes, L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I see you already gave your "what happened," but I wanted to offer my two cents.

First of all, it is best not to tie candy or any other food as a reward or punishment to any behavior. Do not give candy for good or deny candy for bad. This can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food in adults. (Picture your young lady needing candy to feel she did well. Possibly by excelling in life, she is obese. On the other hand, the same young lady never excells at math, so she tries to dicipline herself by starving, believing if she denys herself eventually she will do better, or at least feel better about failing because she believes she is punishing herself.)

Secondly, more and more places have 'family' restrooms for moms with boys, dads with girls, and parents (single or otherwise) with an infant or more than one child. I wouldn't suggest standing outside waiting until she is much older and able to fend for herself. You never know what kind of crazy person is lurking in the bathroom, waiting to victimize our children (yes, there are women as well as men that take advantage of children...sad but true).

Lastly, way to go on signing! Kudos! Keep at it and good luck!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches