At What Age Are Boys Not Allowed in Womens Restroom?

Here is my opinion....and its just that....my opinion. I was a single, childless woman up until five years ago...became a mother 3+ years ago....I can say, as a woman, there is nothing I cant stand more than an 8 or 9 year old boy in the restroom with me. 5? That is acceptable. When they can walk and talk and wipe their own bottoms....time to use the mens room.
That old, "there are predators in there" philosiphy about mens rooms...PLEASE...I dont think I have EVER heard one story about men taking kids out of the mens room...men have ONE thing in mind in the mens room....to pee. After all, arent you standing just outside?
Perhaps I am a little irked by this subject....why?....because, while I was sitting in a locked stall, peeing, a boy,had to be 8 or 9) crawled under the door to ask, smart alecky, I might add.. "what are you doing?"....UUGGG!!! Some mothers!!!!

My rule of thumb is when you feel comfortable and when he knows the difference when someone approaches him that could do him harm. I do private in home daycare. I had a boy in my care that at the age of 10 asked me why he wasn't allowed to use the mens washroom on his own. I asked him if a man approached him and started saying things that made him feel uncomfortable what would he do. His response was I don't know. I told him that is why you are not allowed to go alone. Good luck.

L.

My son is 8 and most of the time if he has to go I stand outside the men's room and I wait for him. He was taking along time once so I yelled in...nothing I yelled in again...nothing I was just getting ready to go in after him when an old man told him to stop playing in the sink. Now if I have to go to the bathroom and its just me and him he goes in the ladies room with me. I am not going to leave my 8 year old hanging around outside by himself where I can't see or hear him.

My boys are 6 & 9 and I don't let them go alone and if I have to go they come with me. I have a family member that was raped at 12 in the mens room when he went in alone. That's enough for me to think about where I let them go alone. They both know proper manners, no looking around etc. If I can they go in the stall next to me and do not come out until I do otherwise we use the larger stalls and they politely turn their backs so I can go. I don't care what other people think, my kids' safety is more important.

I have girls only, but I see boys of all ages in the women's room with their Moms, some look close to 10 or 11. But honestly, I don't mind at all. They're just being safe. Not like they are peeping in the stalls, they're with their own Moms for goodness sake, just to use the facilities, like everyone else! It's all very innocent, I see no reason to be so bothered. And YES, there are creepy people who will pray on boys left alone in the men's room, so I don't blame those Moms of boys at all. I would definitely not let a 5 year old boy go in to a mens room alone.

I had to chuckle when someone else said there was a "general rule of thumb" regarding the cutoff age for boys going to the restroom with their mom. If ever there was a situation that DIDN'T have any set rules, this would probably be it. He's your child and (as you know) his safety is your first priority....far above anyone else's opinion. My son is nearly five, and I can tell you it will be a looooong time before I'm sending him into a public restroom alone. I can also tell you that whenever I've walked into a bathroom and seen an older boy with his mom, I don't even bat an eye. There are stalls, for crying out loud....it's not like everyone's standing around naked.

So to answer your question.....until he's too embarassed by it and refuses. Which will be quite a few years from now, unless you give him the sense that there's something to be ashamed about.

If I am in a place that I just "feel" uncomfortable in, my 8 year old STILL comes in the bathroom with me. However, he and his brother, my 5 year old, often go into the bathroom alone at our local Fred Meyer (grocery store) with me outside the door timing them! lol. I have no shame in opening the door if it is taking too long and asking them if they are okay. If I have both boys then they usually will go in together, but if I just have the younger one he goes in with me...all the time. I don't care if people give me looks or not (which actually has NEVER happened to me). i am their mama and it's my job to protect them...sometimes them being in the bathroom with me feels like I am protecting them. You do what YOU feel is right and makes you comfortable.
L.

O.K. I haven't read all the responses but felt if not said before it's something to say right now. My experience with working in the criminal division of a municipal and felony court (17 yrs) most criminals (molesters) that haven't been caught are not the ones to worry about it's the ones that haven't been caught yet. With that being said I know everyone isn't and there are some fine people out there but nonetheless it's my job to protect my child. So my feeling is around age 11 or 12. I know I have a 10 yr old not wanting to go with me however at some places just recently I have been letting him go with out me into the men's room of course. My 7 and 8 yr old go with him and they do fine like at McDonalds, etc.. Except when we traveled and I was alone with them at rest stops or truck stops sorry they were with me PERIOD if they or someone else likes it or not. Also they do know when in a ladies room they don't look under stalls that was cured at 2 yrs old. I feel 5 is too young to be alone even with mom waiting outside the men's room. At a young age they may not realize someone is peering at them just too much can go wrong and they be afraid to tell mom.

I know alot of people gave me wierd looks for bringing my son in the womans bathroom with me but I was a single mother and always alone and was also afriad to let him go in the mens room alone. I would say keep doing it until you feel safe. =]
Good luck,
J.

My son is about to turn 6 next month. I might even be thinking he's too young at 10 (not really). But this world is full of strange people and the more i can protect my boys the more i'm going to do. There was a lady at target yesterday her son had to have been 11 or so but he was with his baby sister in the restroom waiting while his mommy went potty. That's fine with me. As long as they're respectful and don't look under the doors it should be fine at what ever age you feel like he's ready to protect himself.

When my boys started getting to the age to go in the men's room, I would first make them go in, check to see if anyone else was in there, and if so, they would have to come with me. If I had both of them with me, I would allow them to go in together, but they were to come out together as well. Also, I taught them if ANYONE tries to touch you, grab you, etc. to SCREAM, KICK, RUN - whatever they had to do to get away or draw LOTS of attention.

when you feel like they can come get you if something is not right. I did 6 bt was in a small town. wemons rooms have stalls mens dont I have no problem with an older kid being in womens room until they start noticing the diffrence. but please if you are going to take him in the ladies room make sre he lifts the seat. I hate that when they pee on the seat it is so gross. that is my only rule for boys using the girls bathroom

personally i dont mind seeing a boy up to like 7 in the girls room.....about the age they are liable to want to see a woman naked is around the time id say no to that., but as far as a little girl following daddy in the boys bathroom.....never

they are never too old to be kept safe! I walk in go in the first stall and keep him with me. We walk out and wash our hands and are out again. I make my 9 year old either come right in the door or I prop the door open and let him stand right outside and make him talk to me to know he is safe. If I do send my kids into the men's room alone - I either prop open the door and stand right outside or I stand with my foot in the door and remind him to do things like flush and wash. Basically I don't think twice about the fact that I am a woman standing at the men's restroom with the door open. I don't look I stand where I can't see anything - but I make no apologies for what I do to keep my kids safe!

I think it when you feel comfortable enough to let him go into the men's restroom by himself. It also depends on where you are at. When my son was that age, if the restrooms were in a very busy and crowded location, I would take him into the women's restroom with me. But, if the location was kind of barren -- not a lot of people around or activity going on -- then I would let him go into the men's restroom while I waited outside. If there was a family restroom available, I would also choose that option.

I wasn't comfortable till about 12. Before that age, if I let them go in the men's restroom alone, I would freak out the whole time they were inside. I don't remember at what age I let them go in the men's, but they went with me into the women's until AT LEAST 9 years old. Only once did a woman get angry about it, but she had all girls, so what did she know. (I'd still love to give that woman a piece of my mind.) At 5, no way would I let them go in the men's alone.

To me five is a little young by themselves in either men's or women's bathroom, except small restaurants, etc. where it's a "one-holer" and your son is by himself in there.

My son was really comfortable about 9 to go into the public restroom by himself and was probably 10 before he did it in large public venues (Disneyland, Ball Parks, etc.).
S.

My sons are 6 and 8 and it depends on where we go if they are allowed to use the men's restroom. If my husband is with me, no problem, there are lots of times when my husband is not with me. If we are at the pool or somewhere that is family oriented and I'm familiar, then yes they can go by themselves. If however we are traveling or in a crowded store then they are coming with me. We all go in a stall together and I've never had anyone say anything to me about it. I do not leave them by themselves to crawl on the floor and stare into the stalls of the restrooms, nor do I expect that a woman in the restroom would look at my two sons and expect this kind of behavior out of them and wonder why they are in there with me. There are lots of creepy people in the world and the men's restrooms generally do not have stalls and if they do, it's usually just one maybe two (info from my husband). It can be intimidating for a young boy to go into an unfamilar place and use a men's bathroom by themselves. I think there are women with girls and they don't understand boys or like them for that matter. Just because they are male doesn't mean that they aren't children or should be expected to fend for themselves because they can "wipe their own behinds." I cannot believe some of the posts you have gotten on this! It's a non issue for women with girls because they don't deal with the same things mothers with boys deal with. I use my own judgement and if I'm not comfortable they cannot go in the bathroom by themselves.

I'm in the same boat. My son is now 5 and it's starting to feel a little uncomfortable in some places. It depends on where we are. If it is at a kid's facility (like a inflatable place, for example) he only goes into the boys, for sure. If we are at Target or the mall, I wait for the family restroom to become available. If we are at a restaurant, grocery store or another place, where there isn't a whole lot of traffic, I wait by the door and tell him to holler if something wacky happens. I haven't talked to him about what someone might try that's inappropriate, but I'm thinking that talk will be happening within the next year. I've just said, "if someone bugs you or makes you feel worried, call for me." Terrible things can happen, so I do want to keep a close watch on my son. However, I don't want to scare him and I want to teach him to be independent and learn how to protect himself. I guess I figure those close to our children are often a bigger threat than a stranger in the bathroom. So sad/scary, but true.

Sometimes, it's not about the mom.

My son is 8. When he was 6, he started using the men's room with me standing outside. There was one major problem with this. He was not tall enough to reach the sink. I'd have to then take into the women's restroom to wash his hands. No biggie.

Then, the Target by our house remodeled their bathroom. When they did, they bought those new Excelerator hand driers. We went to dry our hands, and suddenly my son ran to the other side of the bathroom. Those horrible driers sound like a jumbo jet taking off.

Since then, he has been afraid of public restrooms. (I even emailed the manufacturer, & they denied the volume problem.) The only way to get him to go potty at all is if he goes in with me. It will be a very long time before HE is comfortable enough to use the men's restroom without Daddy. The way we see it, public restrooms are super yucky anyway, so we are willing to work with him on this.

As far as creepos in the men's room, they are out there. Always have been. The only difference now is we are more aware of the problem. Not all boys can scream & yell if they get in trouble. Unfortunately, those of us with children in the spectrum also happen to have children that are more likely to be victims because of that.

Im going to say about the age of 6 1/2 - 7, is at that age where they are old enough to not talk to strangers!!! I would say one day that he needs to go pp, take him to the mens restrooom door tell him to go in and that you'll wait for him outside OR if you want when he goes in leave the door open!! He's a big boy now he should start learning by himself!!! Good luck!!

I allow my 8yo to go alone in certain locations, but not everywhere. Plus, he has 3 younger sisters, so if one of them needs to go, we all make the trip together, as I'm not comfortable with leaving him outside the bathroom alone. He's never balked at going in with me, and no one has ever said anything to me about him being in there, so I haven't made a big deal about it.

Aside from the random misbehaving child who climbs under the stall (which would annoy me if it was a girl or a boy) i don't care how old a child is...i mean everything i do except wash my hands is in the stall so who cares!

Hi there,

I don't want to freak you out about this, but I have a baby boy so this question hits close to home.

I just heard about a boy in Israel who went into the men's bathroom in a mall by himself. His mother was waiting just outside the door. But horrifically, this boy was raped in the bathroom (the perpetrator/s put duct tape over his mouth).

I seriously don't think I would ever take the risk of letting my son in a public restroom without a trusted adult. Use a family restroom, or if there isn't one, go into the women's, say you're bringing your son in with you, and take him there.

I tend toward paranoia with safety issues :), but I'd rather be paranoid and safe and keep my child out of danger, and there are just too many sickos out there.

My son is 5 and I would never send him into a bathroom alone... unless we are at school, and that is ok with me.

I often try to find a "family" restroom which are becoming more common here in MN. Most Targets, malls, and many zoo's and museums have them. That is the easiest way for me and my 3 kids to get in and out without a problem :)

jessica

As a mom I can understand why a mom would want to bring her son to the bathroom at 6, older that that it becomes an issue, why?
Because is not only me the one that goes to the bathroom, my daughter (12) goes on her own since she was 10 (I would wait outside or maybe I am in a next bath. Now, I may understand the situation but why a girl should have to feel uncomfortable having a boy in the womens bathroom?
At 7 year old you could tell your son to scream if he is being bother (and believe me I would come in there if I hear my boy or any boy scream in a men's or women's bathroom). How anybody could still your boy if you are outside waiting on him?
I think is very nice that you are considering other people opinions.
I will like to add to Bee's post, if a mom is bringing her kid to pee or you have to pee and bring him in, please, keep your child with you. I would be upset if your kid crawl under my bath, but I would be a lot more upset if he is 7+ and he crawls under my daughter's. If you don't feel comfortable having your kid with you in "your" stall, that is a good sign that he is too old to be in the women's bathroom

My sense of it is that as soon as a child's able to understand good touch/bad touch, and that he shouldn't speak to strangers, and that he can and should kick, run and holler like heck if anyone ever tries to grab him, and can wipe his own posterior if he poops, he's old enough for the men's room.

But there are lots of moms who have gotten scared into the belief that there's a potential predator hanging out in every men's room, and they'll probably bring their boys into the ladies' room when their voices are changing. I'm willing to tolerate that, considering the alternative would be seen as dismissive of these moms' fears. I've never yet had the sanctity of my stall violated – maybe if that were common, my tolerance level would drop.

Approx. 8, but it depends on the boy.
My kids were 8, 7 and 5 when they went into the men's room. But they all went together and the 8 year old was the first one in and last one to leave. He was pretty street smart, so I felt good having him in charge.

My youngest is a little ditzy....or maybe it's more like oblivious...or too trusting....
He thinks the whole world is his friend.

If the older 2 or my husband wasn't there, my youngest went in to the ladies room with me until he was close to 9 or I waited right out side the men's room. We all hated it, but oh well.....safety is more important than what everyone thinks.

i would guess and say seven or eight. but it really depends on your son. perhaps nine or ten. it would get really embarassing after that age. try to find family or co ed bathrooms when you can. also dont go in the stall with him. if he is asking to go to the mens bathroom stand right next to the door with the main door open...but outside of the bathrooms. good luck.

My oldest is 6. In large places, he still goes to the women's room with me. We'll probably do that for awhile. If there is a family restroom, we use that.
At church, he goes alone, sometimes without even telling me. It's a small church and everyone looks out for the kids.

So, for us, it really depends. He actually can tell when I am going to have him go with me.

I don't know why exactly, but from about age 8 until my mid-20s, I had terrifying nightmares about people hurting me or me seeing someone get hurt in a large public restroom. As long as I don't feel safe, he goes with me. I am sorry if I make anyone uncomfortable, but my son's safety is more important than their comfort.

I think at 5 it is still OK to go into the womens restroom. I say around 6 or 7 is a good age to start going into the restroom alone. I think anything older than that going in there with mommy is a little much; but that's just my take on it.

The good thing is, not women do not complain when they see a little boy in the ladies room. Mine stopped coming in with me when they were about 7 or 8. Luckily, there are more and more family restrooms being put in places like malls and Target for the opposite sex parent to take kids to the bathroom.

I have 2 boys ages 7 and 10 and like you I do have reservations about them going alone in the men's room. In a restaurant, it depends on how big the place is, how many people and whether I am alone with them or my husband is with me. And if it is pee or poop! My older child is special needs and still need assistance wiping and my younger child is not proficient yet at wiping up poop.

My younger one is in karate and has been taught about stranger danger, but my older one can be sociable to an extreme. We teach him about not talking to strangers, but he can't seem to make the connection about who is a stranger and who isn't. It seems in his mind, if an adult talks to him, then he/she must be friendly. And that really scares me.

So as he gets older, and the issue comes out of an older boy in the women's restroom, I will have to figure out other scenarios for this in the future.

A little side note, I have the hospital type urinal and a camp toilet in my van. The van has window shades I can pull down and many times I make them go in the van so I don't have to deal with the public restrooms. Probably not conventional I know, but it all started when we were potty training the older one and I had an infant and I just couldn't be dragging both of them all the way across a mall to a potty!

When my boys were 5, I made them use into the women's restroom unless they were with their dad. But I agree with others about "first gradish" for most boys being a good age for using the men's room.

K. Howell

I still take my 8 year old in the bathroom with me in certain locations. When his older brother or his father are with us, he goes with them. A co-worker told me that he was first molested in a restroom at an amusement park when he was 10 years old. He said that as an adult, he can spot them as soon as he walks in. He said malls were the worse place to send them in alone. Remember, they are only young for a short while.

I take a few things into consideration. First, if my younger daughter is with us and needs to use the restroom as well, then we all go in the ladies room because I cannot possibly keep an eye on both of them in 2 separate rooms. If my son (6) is the only who needs to use the restroom and he feels comfortable enough to go by himself, I will let him go on his own, but I wait right outside the door for him.
He asks to go in the boys room all the time now. I think he feels too old to go in the girls room, but safety will always come first for us.

When they are tall enough to see over the stall door...JK! I would say when they are no longer timid, shy, and can talk to others, thus recognizing polite hello's vs a luring weirdo.

My son is only a baby, but I'll probably have him come into the women's bathroom for quite a while, maybe 9 or 10?? There are just so many weirdos out there, even if your child isn't abducted, something else could happen that you can't always prevent while standing outside. And honestly, its just a bathroom with seperate stalls, who cares who is outside the stall unless he is trying to peek in, which of course then you should always teach your son manners. I don't see what the big deal is with having boys in the womens room. I think men would probably be more bothered about having their daughter in the men's room (which probably doesn't happen for very long if at all?) When I visited France, most public places had coed bathrooms and it wasn't a big deal at all, it certainly makes these situations easier.

Hello, I just went through this myself with my 2 boys. When my first was about 5 and it was getting weird for him to be in the women's restroom. I would allow him to go in the men's but only if I was glued to the outside door and before allowing him inside, he had to go in and check and see if anyone else was inside. If they were, we waited til it was empty before he could go in. Then if someone came in after he entered I was extremely close by, just outside the door. Anyone who went in could see Momma nearby and they knew to beware....

I think the general rule of thumb is 6/7 first grade. At that age, they are independent and know of proper urinal etiquette. I would stand outside the door and let him take care of his business. The nice thing is, many places have gone to family style restrooms. I know when my son got older (he is a bigger child) even at 6, I got a lot of stares and comments. He did fine by himself. Now it does mean sacrafice from me in that it may mean, I can not go in the public, but that was fine. I could not go because I did not want to leave him outside the women's room by himself nor did I want to go in while he was in the other restroom and for him to come out and I was not yet finished. The nice thing is, between the years of caution and years of independence do really go by quickly. So it is just a short lived problem. Once they reach that 7 year old stage; teach them to go in, take care of business, wash hands and come out really quick. Teach him to not talk to anyone (proper urinal etiquette), not to go to the urinal right next to someone if he has a choice and if there was a situation he felt uncomfortable with that he could yell for you as you were right outside. I do agree with Amanda from Texas though. I do not think it is ever appropiate for little girls to go into the men's bathroom... So just consider yourself lucky he is a boy.... I also agree with Bee's Mom. I feel you have a better chance of your child being preyed upon at a park than a public bathroom. Hope this helps.
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The reason I said the general rule of thumb is actually because this came up in our local news when a mom got into it with another lady in a public place and it caused a little stir. Yes people we have other things to talk about in the news, but it was a lady who had actually had her moment on GMA about her disabled son with Autism being banned from certain places. So the bathroom subject came up after her and a lady got into it when she brought her then 12 year old into the ladies restroom. They got into a real pow wow. Grant it her then 12 year old looked as if he was a lot older, but the question came up of when was the cut off. I think the average age they came up with was "1st gradeish" was what women were comfortable with. I was past this stage, so just chuckled at it all... Come on people an actually pow wow over a kid coming into a restroom because the mom had to go and the child was not developmentally able to wait alone.

5 is way too young for a child to be in a public rest room alone around a bunch of men with their pants down, some of which could be perverts. No way! Continue to take your son with you in the women's bathroom and teach him not to stare at the women or look under stalls. Most mothers will understand and the ones who don't who really cares. Your #1 goal is to keep your child safe.

I think 7 or 8 is okay. If they can use the bathroom at school independently then they are probably old enough to use a public bathroom too.

BTW, my husband has taken our baby daughter into the men's room for a diaper change and I am fine with this at least until she is out of diapers.

My son started being embarrassed to go in with me around age 6 or 7. I wait outside when he goes in the mens restroom by himself, and I can still hear him talking. He always goes into a stall(won't use the urinals) and knows how to lock the door for privacy.
There was a pool (we used to go to the mother and baby swim time there) that changed their policy to age 3 couldn't go in the opposite sex bathroom. I didn't feel comfortable sending my son at that age into the mens locker room environment alone, plus there was no way he could change out of a wet swimsuit and shower independently until at least age 7.

I have three kids two boys and one girl. I am married but my husband until recently worked very LONG hours for the past two years. ( His hrs are just different now he has a job)
My 10 1/2 yr boy obviously no longer goes in the women room but I stand outside the mens room and watch who goes in.
My 6 yr boy it depends on the situation. On occasion I have still brought him in the ladies room.
We recently visited Dorney Park..and my husband let him go into the bathroom by himself. I was on a ride with my daughter. Men sometimes don't get it.

I say he's fine unless he is trying to look under the stalls. Wait until you are comfortable. This is your child and if you are worried then anxiety will just get the best of you every time he goes in. Wait until he's older unless he is starting to get more curious, if you know what I mean.

I think at 5yo he should still be going with you to the women's restroom. My son started going to the men's room by himself at 7yo because he was getting older and was begging/insisting he was embarrassed. Some places I feel totally comfortable with just standing outside the door. (He's now 8yo.) Other places, I knock on the door and/or open door and call in to see if anyone is inside. Then I send him in and stay close. I think it's a personal call that has to be judged by your child's maturity and the location in part.

That being said, I've been in restrooms where mothers bring their 10 and 11 year olds into the women's restroom. That makes me very uncomfortable when I'm using the restroom! So I wait until they exit and then use the restroom myself. I work with children that age and have heard some of the things the boys that age talk about! (Not all boys, of course, but still...)

If and when you and your son are ready for him to use the men's room, your son should say aloud the alphabet or count or even sing while he is in the men's room...that way, you hear his voice and know that he is fine. If you don't hear his voice, get into the bathroom immediately!

It depends on the size. Some children are big for their age like my son was. I think maybe 8 or 9 if he is small. I would stand at the door and knock every few minutes and call out my son's name to make sure he is alright when he was young.

I have definitely seen boys up to 6 or 7 and I never mind. I have heard that children have been abducted from bathrooms so I do think accompanying a child to the restroom is important, boy or girl. I do know of a pastor who's daughter was almost taken from a bathroom...so it can happen. I think by 8 or so a boy can handle going it alone with a mom outside as someone else pointed out, they can yell etc and well it does start to get uncomfortable for them I think to go into a girls bathroom. I think whenever my son makes it clear that he does not want to go into a girls restroom, I will let him go into the men's room and wait for him. At five, I think he should still go with you or to a family restroom if available. Also, my husband always wants me to take our son, who is three, even if he is there bc he says the men's rooms are so disgusting and he doesn't know how to use a urinal yet. So letting them go alone before they are ready could be down right unsanitary!!!

Hi, you can never be too safe. I remember about ten years ago when I lived in California, a family was out on vacation at the beach. The mom let her 11 year old son go to the bathroom at the beach while she stood right outside waiting for him. A man eventually walked out but her son never did. She finally went in and her son's throat had been slashed. While this may be extreme, it never leaves my memory.

I was just thinking about this yesterday, as I have a 5 year old son and am starting to wonder what age is too old to bring him with me into the ladies room.

I agree with the other moms that 5 is way too young for us to be worrying. There is no way I would let my son wait outside for me while I use the restroom or go in alone to use his.

The best thing to do is teach your child manners. My son would NEVER dream of crawling under a stall or acting anywhere near that inappropriate in a women's restroom. That is because he was raised better. If you raise your child to have manners, you should have no trouble taking him into the restroom in a public place well past age 5.

I guess the key is to use common sense. Are you at a super busy baseball game with an 8 year old and you honestly risk losing him or worse if you let him go alone? Then by all means, bring him with you. Are you at a small location with fewer people and only one restroom where you can wait outside for him? Then maybe 8 or 9 isn't too young to go it alone.

I wouldn't worry about this for a few more years. Then, determine your boy's maturity level, manners and location and go from there. Our children's safety is number one, no matter what.

Best wishes!

that is a good question, my grandson who is 5 years old, goes to the mens restroom by himself when we go to local areas, but when we are in town shopping or places that we don't know well, i usually take him with me to the womens restroom, because you don't know what is going to happen in the restroom with lots of people in there.