A Husband or Dad... is NOT IN ANY WAY A DICTATOR.
AND, I do not believe in that saying "whatever the man says, goes..." sort of thing.
That is, chauvanistic.
And, we are not, door mats.
Anyway, there is a BIG difference, in undermining and sticking up for a kid.
Undermining, is 'sabotaging' on purpose.
NOW... your Husband, DID NOT HAVE TO CONTINUALLY YELL AT YOUR SON TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF HIS QUESTION. He merely could have, sat down with your son, and asked him why and discussed it with him. NOT yell at him.
The REASON your Husband was yelling at your son... IS BECAUSE YOUR HUSBAND DID NOT GET THAT ANSWER THAT 'HE' WANTED. He wanted your son, to say to him, what he wanted your son to say.
Like being interrogated, and brainwashed into saying what the person wants you to say. It is called, using FORCE.
Your Husband, was REALLY MEAN.
And wrong.
And, I would have stood up for my kid too.
As a Parent, your Husband should go to parenting classes.
He is really.... a Bully.
Now, how old is your Son?
And yes, why is he bringing money to his friend? If this is a 5 year old kid, I can understand.
But if your son is maybe 15 years old... then why is he bringing his friend money?
And... whose money was it? Your son's? or yours?
A kid who 'fears' their parent... will grow up HATING that parent. And not loving them and growing up to become ABUSERS themselves.
Is that what your Husband wants????
To raise abusers???? And caveman Neanderthal mentality boys????
How, pathetic.
Your Husband, is stuck in a time-warp.... of centuries ago.
NO, you do not keep your mouth shut.
You stand up for wrong-doing.
You and your Husband, do not have the same values nor about child raising.
I, stand up for my kids too... if/when I feel my Husband is wrong.... and my kids KNOW that.
But, we DISCUSS it with our kids, together. Me, Husband, and my kids. And we do NOT yell at them. NOR force them to say things, that are not what happened.
Your HUSBAND HAS A PROBLEM.
He needs, LOTS of Therapy.
Sorry.
If I had a Husband like that... I would be BACKING UP MY KIDS, everyday. Your Husband is very, wrong. Very wrong.