What Is the Ferber Method?

I would advise you to stay far far away from Babywise. Do some more research on it and you'll find that MANY parents whose churches recommended this have begun realizing that they seriously mistreated their children by obeying this advice [such as spanking hands for reaching for food, not feeding WHEN CHILD IS HUNGRY (like you stated)]these things can have long-term detrimental effects on your child's normal growth and development, not to mention your parent/child relationship. Your 9-week old baby is not attempting to manipulate you when he wants to eat. His body is hungry. My advice is to listen to YOUR INSTINCTS and do what YOU think you should. It is completely normal for a 9 week old NOT to sleep through the night yet. For now, just let your baby be a baby!

I have read about the Babywise and have had friends and my neighbor had there 1st baby and did this.

However after having 2 small children myself 3 and 2,
and seeing the difference I would NEVER reccommend it.
They had to take there baby to the hospital.
If your baby missing there eating time, they are suppose to wait till the next cycle eat,play,sleep.
They were under weight, and not progressing.

They do not eat or sleep the same everyday, and our activities do change. So, theres do too. Be wise and you have to learn to give them what they need. My daughter slept 6 hours at nt before she was 3 mo old, and longer by 6 months. Still to this day she sleeps all night and is not a early riser.

They are finding that many babies are not getting the nutrition they need on these programs.

Please don't starve your baby, like some are doing,
because they missed there schedule.
My neighbor sd she was so busy with the schedule she missed
enjoying time with her baby.

I do not know about babywise. I used the baby whisperer method which I have heard is similar. I loved it and it is not cruel or any type of punishment. It also helps to make for a saner parent. Knowing what type of schedule your baby is going to be one helped me prepare for my day. The Baby Whisperer is more of a routine than a time schedule. My sister began using it upon my advice and her baby is doing great sleeping too.
Basically she tells you to follow an EASY plan. Eat, Activity, Sleep then "You time". This helps to teach the baby too fall asleep on their own without needing a bottle to soothe them. You have to have discipline and stick with your routine but it will pay off in the end. Mine has woken up in the middle of the night cooed for 10 minutes and rolled over and gone back to sleep. I also suggest putting them in their crib to fall asleep.
Here I am full of advice, but the baby whisperer rally did help me. I always told everyone it was my "baby manual"!
Mine has been sleeping through the night sine 3 months and I attribute it to the whisperer. Good Luck!

The Ferber method has been good for some, but I felt it was a little harsh. We did Baby Wise. The book is actually called On how to be baby wise by Gary Ezzo (I think). It's a little along the same lines of the Ferber method but with much more loving interaction and a lot less "let them cry it out"

I started on Babywise from the beginning, and my son has slept all night since 2 weeks. I didn't really let him cry until about 6 months, and then it would only be for about 5 minutes. After about 3 or 4 days of that, he started going to sleep on his own with no problems. Good luck in finding what works for you!

UPDATED: I read Shannan's below which said someone had to take their baby to the hospital. That had nothing to do with Babywise because there's nothing in that book that says to skip meals or anything else that can harm a child. You first keep track of when your child(since all are differet)wants to eat and sleep. From that, you create a schedule. In other words, your child is making the schedule. . . not you. The purpose is because all too often parents don't know what to do when the baby cries and automatically go to feeding, which can eventually teach the baby that you eat when you're upset. By knowing their schedule, you can start learning if he/she is crying because he/she is hungry or for some other reason. Now, there were times when nothing at all consoled our son other than nursing, so we did it. It just wasn't something we did every time. One thing you have to understand about any parenting book is that ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT, and you take what is said with a grain of salt. Find out what works for you, and just use the book as a guide to get ideas from. I hope this helps. Please know that the book Babywise doesn't do anything at all that could send a child to the hospital. There is no type of punishment or anything like that in there. It simply helps you as a parent to figure out what might be going on with your child.

I believe Babywise and the Ferber method are similar. I have read Babywise, but not Ferber, but from what I understand from ANY of the methods is that you will have some personal modifications based on your baby's individual needs, etc. For example, my son wanted to eat every 2 hours for most of his first month, then went into a pattern of eating every 2 hours in the morning (with short naps in-between), then he'd sleep for 4 or 5 hours, then eat more often in the evening, etc.

I think the routine of Eat, Activity, Sleep, is more important than the time frames (If I remember, Babywise recommends about 3 hours from the beginning of one feeding to the beginning of the next). While my son didn't follow the "every 3 hour" thing (unless you averaged it -- 2 hours one time, then 4 hours the next, then 5, then 2, then 1...) we did follow the routine, he slept well (eventually -- I'll get to this part later), and he got 8 or 12 full feedings in a day. If you do the math, 8 to 12 feedings in a day ends up being somewhere from 2 to 3 hours between feedings, so the numbers they use in the books aren't absolute. They are averages intended to be used as a guide, not a hard rule.

On sleeping -- a baby CAN learn to go to sleep on their own if you let them. I would guess that if a 9-week old wants to eat again before a nap, he's either awake too long after a feeding, or he is simply using the bottle or nursing as his "sleep prop." It's easy to keep a baby awake too long between feedings. He's sitting around looking cute...if he cries, you pick him up and he's quiet, or you turn on a mobile, or talk to him, etc. and he'll calm down. You may be able to keep him quiet, but he doesn't get any sleep! This also happened with my son. I realized that he was getting "backwards" on the routine, so I did an experiment. I checked the clock when he woke up, let him eat, then played with him, talked to him, whatever for about 30-45 min, then I put an apparently wide awake baby in his crib for a nap. He looked at his ocean wonders aquarium and whimpered for a minute or two, then went to sleep. It was soooo much easier than when I waited too long and he was literally so tired that he was too fussy to get to sleep peacefully.

It's hard for us adults to grasp it (or remember from one child to the next), especially if you have toddlers or older children around who can stay awake all morning, but a newborn (meaning a baby under 3 months old) really shouldn't stay awake more than about an hour or so at a time. There might be one interval during the day where a 2 month old will stay up for a couple hours, but that should be the exception rather than the norm. So, if you consider that a feeding takes about 30 min once you count the diaper change, eating, burping...you're left with about 30 min to an hour of activity time before it's time for another nap (which should last about an hour and a half to 2 hours). If you add all that up (yes, more math!) you've got a 30 min feeding, plus 30 min to an hour of awake time, plus a 1.5 to 2-hour nap, when the baby wakes up again it's been about 3 hours between feedings.

If he's NOT up too long after a feeding and still acts like he wants to nurse or have a bottle before a nap, he's likely doing this for the comfort of the sucking action. I'd offer a pacifier.

All of that said, it's really good for you to know that babies really don't have a good routine about anything until around 12 weeks. They're growing so fast those first 3 months that with every half pound or so they gain, they become a different baby. You might find some things falling into place around 8 weeks, but be prepared for it to all change by 10 weeks!

Also, if you make any changes to routine, you really need to give it 3 or 4 days to take effect. Young babies are amazingly adaptable. What will take just 3 days to change now, would take 3 weeks to change in a toddler! That's why I always recommend to my new mom friends to make good habits and break bad ones early, before the baby is old enough to know the difference. Put them in their own beds before they're 3 months, start brushing their teeth at 6 months, break the "nursing to sleep" habit early, etc. The sleep habits were a big deal for us with our first one because I knew I'd be going back to work and leaving her with someone who had 3 other kids to deal with. It would be unfair to my child and my sitter if I had programmed her to need feeding or rocking in order to fall asleep. When there's multiple children involved, there's no way one mommy has time to go through a big song and dance at nap time! If all she needed was a pacifier and a stuffed animal, life would be easier for everyone involved!

Congrats on the new baby! And take a box of tissue and some baby pictures to your desk on that first day back in the office....

I probably should hold back on the feelings I have about the Ferber method. Before you decide to do it, chick into it. I think Mr Ferber made a public announcement about how he recanted on much of what he said in his book.

Try The Baby Wisperer.

Good luck, but PLEASE listen to your heart when making this decision. I believe if I am going to error, I would rather error on the side of love.

All the best, liz

I never read any of those books. I didn't for one simple reason. We are not all the same. It is a matter of figuring out what is best for you and your baby in your situation. Granted they might give you hints of things to try. Let the baby eat when he wants, he needs the nutrients for the growing and developing he's doing. His sleeping habits will change as he gets older and his needs change.
In fact i just talked to a friend of mine this morning and she was saying her 2 week old has days and nights mixed up. Her baby wants to be held from 1-5 am every morning. I told her to try the momma bear they sale at walmart. It worked wonders with my youngest when he was an infant. You might want to try that. It doesn't work with every baby, it didn't with all mine, but it's worth a try.
Good luck.

I concur on avoiding Babywise. The author -- Ezzo -- has been discredited on many fronts. (See http://ezzo.info/ for further info) For one, he doesn't have a background in child development, pediatrics or general medical background. He's a minister with a Master's degree. That hardly makes him an authority. Also, he has gotten into trouble with churches for essentially fraud. My more conservative Christian friends will also point out how his interpretation of the bible vis a vis parenting is highly flawed.

I would recommend the book, No Cry Sleep Solution. Unlike the other books mentioned, it does rely on a lot of research on baby's sleep habits. You have a 9 week old baby who has a stomach the size of his fist. The fact is, they don't sleep that great and that's not necessarily something for you to fix. Of course he's not going to hold much and will probably need to wake more often for feedings. This is normal and should not necessarily be discouraged. As a previous poster mentions, follow your instincts. Allowing a child to "cry it out" at this age is ridiculous.

I read Babywise, and it worked wonderfully for my first baby. It is not a strict schedule-it is a routine. Eat, play, and then sleep. It teaches babies how to fall asleep on their own instead of using nursing or a bottle, it lets the baby know what to expect (sleep comes after play, etc.), and it helped me keep my sanity. My baby was sleeping through the night by 2 months. My second baby (4 weeks old now) has not been ready for the Babywise method. She has her days and nights mixed up right now, and I have not been trying to force a routine on her. There is not one thing that works for all babies- you just have to find out what works best for yours. By the way, Babywise actually states several times in the book that you should not let your baby go hungry, even if it is not "time" to eat. It says to feed your baby, don't feel bad about it, and start again. I have found that most people who say negative things about Babywise haven't actually read it. I would recommend giving it a try.