What Is Your Marriage Like?

Updated on May 30, 2012
L.B. asks from Berwick, ME
27 answers

What kinds of things do you and your husband do together?
What is your social life like? Do you have friends over, or go to friend's for dinner parties etc...
Do you go out with other couples?
What do you look forward to?
Just wondering, because we don't do anything anymore and I wonder if that is normal?

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

We don't do much but then again we've been maried almost 20 years. We do stuff the FIVE YEAR OLD likes.

I go out with my friends on occasion but pay the price later on. I'm EXHAUSTED for days!

My feet are STILL swollen from three nights of Rick Springfield shows last weekend. Good thing he only comes once a year. This old lady can't handle much more. LOL!

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.

answers from Augusta on

we have a couple down the street we have done cook outs or dinner with a few times. DH and I together play video games( right now we are working on Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 and Diablo III), watch movies and anime, make dinner together sometimes. I look forward to all of it.
Kiddos are 7 and 10 Married 11.5 yrs.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

We don't get as much time together as we used to before kids.
We generally get together w/his family.
A couple of times a year we get together w/his friends.

More Answers

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

We do not "go out" together (dates) or go out with friends, etc. Our lives is pretty much centered around our children. As a family, we do things like go for walks, bike rides, parks, to the lake, etc.

But you asked about marriage...let's see. What do WE do together?

Well, we have sex. :)

The other day, we played poker for about 15 minutes. Hee hee.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Social life? I resently discovered my 80 year old grandma has a bigger social life than me. My hubby works alot, and when he doesn't we are both doing work around the house. The last outing we has was taking our two year old to the zoo. The last date we had was pry about two years ago (and we have only been married 3)

6 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

How old are your kids?
That has a lot to do with it.
During the pregnancy/breastfeeding years we didn't get out that much. It was hard because we were both tired, and we didn't really have many friends with little ones. And honestly we just loved staying home and staring at them, lol!
As the kids started preschool/elementary school we started meeting more people with kids our age and we were able to be more sociable. We felt more comfortable with non family sitters, we went on a few trips without the kids, that kind of stuff.
Now that the youngest is 13 we are going out a LOT more, which is great! Sometimes with other couples, sometimes just the two of us. Dinner, movies, concerts and shows, sometimes a baseball game.
The only downside is we do less together as a family. Our kids have busy schedules and lots of friends so mom and dad are left behind a lot :(
I think this is one of the most important reasons to never take your marriage for granted, kids grow up and move on, and it happens quicker than you think! I mean, our three kids are almost NEVER home on a Friday night, just hubby and me. Hopefully when you get to that point you'll still want to spend time together, and HOPEFULLY you'll have other couples to spend time with because it can get pretty monotonous being just the two of you all the time :)

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Louisville on

We have been married almost 28 years. Our marriage has changed over time, but I feel we are still good together and cannot imagine being with anyone else. We each have our own interests, as well as things we enjoy together. One thing we do every day is have meals together. I am lucky enough to work a flexible schedule near where he works, so we meet for lunch. Suppers are done together with our college-aged son who still lives at home and goes to college locally. We just moved to this area and have little time for socializing, but once we have made some good friends, we like to do things together like bicycling - we have a tandem and a triplet, concerts, movies, eat out, etc. When we get in a rut where it seems like we are not doing anything anymore, it is time to make some plans. Go back to the beginning of your relationship and ask what you enjoyed then, and plan a date night.

3 moms found this helpful

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

We have a wonderful marriage! We'll be married 17 years in just a couple months. We just celebrated our 20 years of "being a couple" and we knew each other a couple years before that.
We would much rather do things as a family now a days. Not because we don't want to be "forced" to spend time together but because we enjoy doing things as a family more. I don't remember the last time we made any effort to do "date night". We have never sent the kids to Grandmas for the weekend so we can "run away". It's not hurting our relationship in any way.
We never have anyone over to our house any more. Just a personal choice. We have cats and far too many of our friends are allergic. We used to host a movie night, kids were welcome as well when we all started having ours around the same time. We don't live in that place anymore and we can't fit everone in this house like we could in the other one sadly. We don't do dinner parties at other's houses either. We don't go out with other couples either.
It's not that we don't do anything. We just don't do it without including the kids. Most of our friends have kids too so we get together somewhere where the kids can run amock while us parents sit in watching distance and visit that way. We take the kids places together and enjoy them as a family.
Even before kids we never were in to the typical dinner party, going to fancy restaurants, sitting in a movie where you can't actually visit with your date type thing. We are still doing a lot of the same kind of things that we liked doing before kids.
For us it is completely normal and we have a perfectly healthy, normal relationship.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.R.

answers from Madison on

well we just had a dinner date with some friends with kids last night, we have three kids they have three, a week before that we went out for my birthday on a date, before that we had a dinner get together with our neighbor, The month before that we had another get together with a neighbor. well the gist is that is a monthly thing for the most part.

We do movies at night every once in a while. My hubby has a guys night every week on the same night, I typically have a moms night out every week or so, if not I get to go out shopping by myself instead.

We have not however been on a double date with another couple in a long while (we like doing that)

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

My husband and I have been married for 6 years and have a 5 year old daughter. Usually we watch tv or movies together. Our most recent "date" was to see the Avengers on Mother's Day.

We don't really go out with other couples, although we do meet his brother and brother-in-law for dinner every couple of weeks. But with kiddo in tow.

I look forward to the cuddling on the couch we do when we watch our shows. Especially the Walking Dead, because I can get extra cuddly, since it's scary. :-)

Most of our evenings after the kiddo goes to bed are him playing his game (currently Star Wars) with his friends online while I watch tv. But we schedule nights of the week to watch our shows together.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.P.

answers from Sacramento on

My husband and I dont get much time alone to do things together, but we are working on that, he has Tuesday off and kids will be at school, so we are going to catch a matinee (adult movie, not like rated x just something we couldnt take kids to see). Yes we have friends over every so often, actually having BBQ tomorrow. We go to friends sometimes, more so in the summer months for bbqing and swimming. We dont go out with other couples that oftern either, but we did a couple of months ago and it was really nice, we just did dinner and then went home. I look forward to spending time with my family, the four of us, I love our time together, but I also cherish time with just me and the hubby, we had a life toether before our children and we will have one together when the kids are grown up and gone, I want to make sure we do things and keep more in common than just the kids, I want be assure we always remember how to enjoy each other. How old are your children? When ours were younger it was harder, but now that they can a little older, 9 and 11, it is a little easier. We do have one function a year that we ALWAYS go to and that is a crabfeed, so we always look forward to that and I have a yearly concert I go to with my friends. I LOVE girls night, although I notice I hardly get those, everyone always seems to have their husbands with them, which is ok, but I really crave GIRL time. Sometimes it is just fun to act wild and crazy like teenage, young twenty girls, minus looking for men! :) OH and sense another mama mentioned it lately sex (giggles) more than usual and the lack of is usually because of me not him, but I noticed since I havent been working I feel more into it, coinsidence??? i dont know but I am loving it!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Chicago on

We have a few friends we have dinner with occasionally, and we like to throw one BBQ a summer. On the weekends, it's usually about the kids. We go to family swim, have a family movie with popcorn, and we do housework.

Once a year we also go away for a night or two, just the two of us, and in the last 5 months we have started sending the kids to Grammy's house one Saturday night a month, so we even recently went out to dinner with childless friends!

1 mom found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

no, i don't think it's normal to do nothing together.
my dh and i have different interests and do many things apart, but we also enjoy each other's company. we run together, go for walks and hikes, visit family, do projects around the farm, and watch tv together. we don't often go out with other couples because we're both so hermit-y, but sometimes we do. we are really excited about our vacation to the beach this year, and a big family reunion in bermuda next year. about our monster fourth of july picnic coming up. about our kids buying their first house and getting set as independent adults. about season 2 of downton abbey.
i hope you and your husband develop some mutual interests and fun things to do together.
khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.P.

answers from New York on

We don't do anything anymore either, except watch our favorite shows or DVDs, and on ocassion, go out to dinner for a date night. I'm perfectly happy with that for now, because we have young kids, and I'm tired!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

we are roomates at best, i would answer no to all your questions..except your last,,the answer to that unfortunately is; i look forward to him leaving for work...

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.K.

answers from New York on

Guess everyone's husbands work a lot. When my hubby isn't working we go out. We plan on window shopping today. We look forward to his day off, his crazy schedule makes it hard to plan anything. He worked yesterday and will work tomorrow and I'm on this board right now he's out riding his motorcycle! He will be back soon and we are going to hang out. Our friend pool is really shallow right now for many reasons but if we ever find more or new friends maybe we will go out with them.

Normally we don't go anywhere without our daughter. My older kids dont hang with us and the rest of our family is kinda far away and she's attached at the hip lol. We travel a lot together my daughter has been to Hawaii, Florida, Denver, San Diego, in a few weeks we are taking her on a Disney cruise! Shes been to more places than many adults have. We figure why wait till retirement let's do it now while we can and she goes along. Dinner dates include her, movies you name it lol. We are a tight little family.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.G.

answers from New York on

My husband and I are relearning how to communicate in the "kid years". We have a 2, 5 and 11 year old girls. We did everything together prior to them and over the last 11 years we lost US and became just parents. Now we are trying to get US back. We make time at home (money is super tight) to talk and just spend time together. We love to have friends over but that is always with all our kids and theirs in tow. A social life we don't really have a steady one but we are finding we like to do "projects" around the house together. We recently repainted the dinningroom and kitchen and a few months ago the hall way. House activities above and beyond the "normal" upkeep can be fun to do together. It allso serves 2 purposes 1, together time and 2. home improvements! It isn't so much the money spent or the every waking minute (like in dating days) that are so benificial but the communication in the together time that means so much. We have been trying to get out on a "date night" for probably 6 months or more but it is expensive to get a babysitter for 3 kids and gas and dinner and / or an activity so we haven't been out but we have a stronger relationship now than we did a while back just because we communicate.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.2.

answers from Raleigh on

I ditto Katrina below me, pretty much word for word. It'll be 15 years married for us this Sept (together 22) and in Oct we'll celebrate by going to Cancun...with the kids (8&9). No dinner parties here or there. Most activities center around the kids, and our marriage isn't hurting one bit. I'm more of a one on one friend, I kind of "shut down" when in a group and my husband doesn't enjoy hanging with other couples so he has a group of guys that come over for like a game night about once every other month (I play, too). My inlaws will take our kids overnight here or there so we can have alone time, so that's nice. But we usually just come home and enjoy a quiet house and not having "to do bedtime". However, this Sat when his parents have the kids I'm surprising him with a zip lining trip!!! :D

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.T.

answers from Muncie on

Neither of us are big "going out" people. We're also "geeks" so inside activities suit us just fine. He has a once a month D&D game he gets together with his friend's from college. When it's at our house I get to play too! We game online together or rent movies. I'm going to be starting up playdates with the wife of one of the guys. Woo grown-up interaction! I'm also a trans-plant from Alaska so I only know people he knows, it can be rough, I would like lady friends with kid-lings.

If you're feeling like something is missing try a weekly date with your husband. Ask him about people he works with, if he seems to get along with someone see if he'll be interested in inviting them over for something, or out on a double date or even if you can swing it get a part time job or volunteer at something to help you meet people.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Denver on

My husband and I have been married for 21 years this year! We do everything together, unless he is at work. I have been a stay at home mom/spouse for 20 years but have always had my "own" way to run the family, it has been a good life afforded to me.

Our first child has just left the home last year and the next will leave next year. We had a 4 year gap between child 2 and 3 so we have a few years again before someone leaves our home.

Right now we are in the process of buying a new small farm property to once again take on a new adventure for our family. We take many mini vacations as a family as well as I often meet up with my hubby in other states for a quick weekend, just him and I. When he works in town, we often meet up with friends on the weekend for a few hours or go on a short bike trip with them through the mountains, then back home to spend family time. We have found it is important to get out, just him and I, to actually be more "in tune" to the needs of the kids.

We are fortunate to be able to do these things but have definately worked hard and made sacrifices through the years to be at this point in our marriage and life.

I must give credit where credit is do, God definately extended the opportunities for success and I am very grateful that my husband used the talents God gave him wisely. Hasn't always been fun or easy but definately well worth the effort!

3..

answers from Sherman on

we are home bodies, my husband works a lot also and when he is home he likes to as he calls it ride the couch..lol.. and i dont mind we no longer have a social life, we dont go to parties or lunches with others we enjoy spending our time together watching movies or whatever quiet time we get together when the kids are asleep, or we go as a family and enjoy lunch or outings..

the last time we had a night alone, 9 months later lil bear came..lol..

we have been married 11yrs and have 3 kids

A.G.

answers from Houston on

I'm having trouble in mine right now, sort of a crossroads. We are very in love and affectionate and good friends but have hit a big snag of betrayal on his end. Our main problem was not making time for each other as individuals. He says there was no problem at all but I know him an I should date more and he has always been trying to get me too and I never did. We have no help with the kids.

I say this because of how important I find "dating" your spouse to be. How important it is to keep treating them like you did when they fell in love with you.

We have friends over a lot. The same group usually and their kids. We have had theme parties, dinner parties and holiday parties, we have outdoor darts and a pool table room with a piano in it. We prefer not to go to their houses because we like drinking microbrews and wine and don't want to worry about cabs or ddrivers. Rarely we have double dated. Only once in our 10 years together so far have we had a real date alone. Dinner, drinks and hotel.

Unthinkable but normal i believe.

Eta.... Our current plan is to start working out together alone, and to find a babysitter from an agency to give us at least one date night a month.

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

We've been bery happily married for 18 years and have two sons, 8 and 14. We have a wonderful time together! Much of our time is family time, but we also spend a lot of time together as a couple. We love doing projects together - painting, fixing tractors, trimming trees, building sheds, etc. (we live on a small farm). Sometimes the kids are involved in the projects, and sometimes it's just the two of us. Either way, we laugh and talk, and usually music is playing.

We also socialize with friends fairly often, sometimes going out places, and sometimes staying in. We would like to see friends more often, but it's difficult to coordinate schedules. I see friends all the time without my husband.

We do things together as a couple very frequently. Even things like grocery shopping at Target every Sunday are fun, and we call it our Target date. We also have lunch at least once a week, and go out on a date in the evening a few times a month. He surprised me with Dennis Miller tickets this week (Dennis Miller will be in town on June 8), and I'm so excited!

We honestly enjoy each other's company, and love sharing our lives with each other. As the years have gone by we've grown closer together, and I'm thankful for that.

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Well, our situation is a little different. We were both married before and had kids. So we are going on 3 years married and have older kids, 16, spec needs, 12 and 9. We LOVE doing things together and with the kids. We do things on occasion with friends together, but mostly we do things with each other. We do things with the kids on the weekends we have them and on our no kid weekends, we will either do things by ourselves or make plans with my bff, who is single with no kids. We don't really have other couple friends to hang out. We do things with our church also. I think its so sad the moms that say they are just roommates. Life is too short to spend it unhappy. I feel bad for them. Good luck.

C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

we have a pretty good marriage. I can't imagine my life with out him. He is pretty much my world and my everything, lol!
We like to do stuff more as a family (with the kids). I mean we love going on dates, but it's hard to find a babysitter. We like to go to the lake and take a walk, picnics, go to the beach (even though now it's a 4 hour drive).
We love to have friends over but we are newer to the area and are still trying to meet new people so it hasn't happened very often.
We are looking forward to someday being able to buy a home in a cute small town and growing old there.
We don't do everything together. He has his own hobbies and I have mine. We are trying to find more things to do together, but it's not always easy.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.B.

answers from Miami on

Our 20 yr anniversary is coming up and we have 4 children ages 12, 9, 5, and 13 months. We have no social life. LOL. No, seriously, we spend time together as a family, we visit my sister and her family, we go to church and attend church functions. We equally look forward to having quality "me" time but it rarely happens without a child tagging along.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions