What's with All the Crying??

One day you and she will laugh over this. It really is kind of funny.

I think you should mostly ignore it. I think it's a phase, combined with the fact that all these other girls do it. Kind of like a crying fad. :)

Give her a quick hug or kiss when she cries, say something light like, "Yeah, that's a bummer," and walk away.

She'll move on to some new behavior in time. And it sounds like she has plenty of activities to keep her occupied. No worries.

Hormones

Try giving her a small dose of Midol before she goes and see if it helps. I swear it made a difference when I was a nanny. The mom was a nursing professor and she told me to do it. When the kids came home from school they were fighting and arguing and holy terrors. I'd give them a pill and within half an hour they were like normal little kids, still arguing and being siblings but not the blown up knock down dragouts from the few minutes before.

It is time for "pick your battles." There is no harm in crying, in fact, it is a great stress release. This is the time where she will start to decide for herself what behaviors work for her and which don't. And feeling her feelings is much healthier than stuffing them!

It sounds like she is quite busy and as she gets older her stress levels may be increasing. Knowing that she is releasing some of that stress is a good thing.

As the other moms have stated, part of his is age and just a stage. Give her love and don't focus on this. There are way more important things to watch for right now.

This just sounds like a "perfect storm" of two tween-girl phenomena: the hormones and emotionality, and the way the peer group is suddenly the biggest deal in the world.

I know it's easier said than done, but ignore it and don't feed the drama. In a few months, she'll be onto something else.

I was someone who had parents that did not deal with emotions very well.

I was a Ballet dance from the age of 4 to 19.

I am painfully shy to some degree, it was worse in my younger years.

I was so shy that I alienated myself from my dance class for the first 4 years I was going there.

As soon as I felt ok to come out of my shell.......My group because instantly closer and we were about the best troop ever to come from my Company(have not been in ten years so this is probably not true true now).

You ave to think, they all are at that age where hormones are just starting to take part in there body. Meaning they will be more emotional. More sensitive to pain, failure and fitting in. Competition at a a young age is fair and fun. When the kids start feeling a bit more pressure pursuing their ambitions, emotions can start to play into how she processes things.

I put so much emotion into my dancing, that I never flinched on the outside the first four years I was dancing with absolutely no friends. I turned my shyness into something considerably beautiful at a very young age.

I say dont play into the whining emotional stuff that is superficial.

Reaffirm her where you can. Reassure her when she thinks she is not good enough.

She can get through these changes without being an emotional mess. She just needs to know that is what is going on. Then she can correct the misbehavior and deal with those feeling.

Maybe she needs a break from competitive sports? I would think that could do a number on ones anxiety. Remove the stress.

It is not quitting, if you are just taking a break

She's trying to fit in with this group of girls. You can talk to her about it but it probably won't help because of course 'you just don't know what it's like to be an 11 yr old girl.'

Normal for this age! Betwix n between little girl and growing up a bit.

Comfort of course, have compassion, always. Your child is growing up, the hormones are probably kicking in, give her comfort, hug, show you care. Good luck.

Honestly it sounds like she has hit puberty and has started on an emotional rollercoaster. I remind my girls to wipe their tears and take a deep breath and refocus - if they need to take a break or a down day I let them have it. I don't coddle but I also don't tell them Don't Cry

HORMONES!

Oh, and just when you think she is past it, it will start all over again.

With my girls, I made sure they were okay, and then moved on. That's all you really can do, eventually her body will adjust...eventually :)

I think it's just that she's 11. That's when the hormones get all out of whack. I have an 11 YO GD; she NEVER used to cry; now I see the occasional tears rolling down her cheek. It's a new thing. I try to pretty much ignore it other than maybe to say "I see you're not happy with (me or whatever it is) right now" and she'll nod. Then I just move on. At least I acknowledge her feelings.

I would talk to her about it. Ask HER why all the crying. And yes, I would say (given the history you detailed) that she picked it up from these other "criers". My daughter is going on 12, and she doesn't cry at stuff. Apparently yours didn't either... until she joined a team full of them who do. I would NOT chalk it up to being 11 and hormones or "that age" or whatever. Her teammates are not 11. You said they range starting at age 8... up to your daughter's age. Her other teams don't cry, and looked at her funny when she did.

It is learned behavior.
Talk to her.

It's the age. Somewhere between 10 and 11, my SD became a crier. I think it was the prequel to puberty/a developmental stage. I would work with her on calming techniques, how to center herself and go forward. From a very early age, we taught my DD to take deep breaths and regroup. Might your DD enjoy yoga? It would teach her about calm while helping with flexibility.

When she is not at gymnastics, talk to her about how things are going, if she wants to continue, etc. Is she emotional? Like her highs are really high and her lows really low? Crying can happen at either end of the spectrum of joy. Is she a perfectionist?

Maybe she can articulate what is going on --- and maybe she can't, but if she can give you a tidbit, it might help. Please try to be patient, as middle school is a mess for kids, especially girls. Try not to get caught up in who did what to whom and who is friends with who unless it's really out of control. They are so mercurial. Sometimes they don't know why they cry. They just do. When she says she's frustrated, maybe instead of saying "take a break" ask her what she wants to do or what she wants from you. "Do you want me to leave you be?"

I think it's hormones.
Gymnastics and cheer are competitive sports and girls are hard on themselves and each other. She's probably feeling a lot of pressure and since she's sensitive anyway, the hormonal roller coaster doesn't help.

I wouldn't ignore her. Anger and frustration and sadness are all healthy emotions and you need to teach her healthy ways to cope with her feelings so she's able to deal rather than breaking down. Or if she needs to break down teach her how to recover just as you're doing, with deep breaths and taking a little bit of time.

You sound frustrated by her inability to control her emotions... take a look at that and how you deal with those emotions yourself or as a child. I don't want to get too psycho-babbly, but our reactions to these situations are often due to how we were treated or comforted (or not) as children.

Good luck!

I htink it's part of the age and hormones.