What to Do When Your Child's Coach Is Making Baseball Not Fun Anymore.

First you do not say how old he is. A lot of children say they want to play however after they start they will not go back to their parents and tell them.
I know of a case where the team did pretty over a few years and the parents thought their son was a good player and was enjoying himself.
Then out of the blue, when a new season was about to begin he asked his dad if he had to play. That was not only the end of his baseball but his career of playing sports. Sad as he was a good player, and was played out before he was in high school. I think he had potential to make it to the big leauges with the proper coaching.

Just thought that this would give you food for thought!

I have the same probe.My son is 12 and I spent 3000$on baseball tutoring ,he started on a new league and he is sitting playing 3rd base and his position is 1st or pitch.I understand every child has to be sat or play diff positions.I walked up to the fence and asked my sons coach how he's doing and he freaked out on me." saying if u think u can do better then coach" he didn't like it when I said sure I can help.I played 25 yrs of softball lol I have been around sports forever and ill tell u it always happens Favorites are the norm.Tell your son to keep with it.He will have his time to shine!I'm telling you it happened to me.one day he will and there is nobody out there that can hide it or ego suck him! sorry about the spelling.I'm a mom and proud of my son and he's going to earn things not be giving things cause of favoritism!

If your son isn't enjoying it, and wants to quit, let him. Is there another team he could join if he still wants to play?
Sports should be fun, and if they're not, there's no reason to keep playing.

Its not his perception!!! I would talk to him again and tell him that your son wants to quit because your family feels he is not so nice to him and that it IS YOUR perception that matters. And please do not put down my son in a funny manner either, he takes that stuff to heart. You can say this in a nice way. I would tell him that your son used to look forward to coming to the games but now not so much. Just because he is a volunteer he doesn't give him any special rights. I volunteer for lots of things and I was being unfair to one child I would hope the parent would show me the light. What I have done in the past is to have another coach speak to him about it. They seem to listen better for some reason. I believe at this young age equal playing time is important to a child. Who wants to go to a game and sit the whole time. Check league rules and see if he is getting enough playing time. If you do not get anywhere with this coach, take your son off this team and have him put on a team where its more coach friendly. Good luck!

Video tape the next game and if you feel the coach was unfair, show the video to another parent or coach and get a second opinion. Then if you still feel you need to approach your kid's coach again, let the coach watch his own decisions on tape. This will hopefully make the coach realize where he can improve.

What does your son say about the situation? Does he want to stay on this team or does he want to stop going?
I think in a situation like this, his opinion should count. You can tell him, that even though he has been on the team for a long time, sometimes things change in a way that they aren't a good fit any more and that he has the option of joining another team...
I don't think you addressing the subject with the coach will do any good - most people will feel defensive when accused of favoritism and he might take it out on your son even more.
If your son doesn't think it's a big issue, then let it go... but I would probably still encourage him to find a different team next season!
Good luck.

Let someone in the organization know that is higher up in the league. If you feel this way, others probably do too. I have seen more than one volunteer dad/coach/assistant on the team to be sort of dismissed/kicked off from the coaching or assisting duties. Some wonderful dads just don't teach or coach well and they shouldn't be there. They can enjoy sitting and watching on the sidelines.

Think hard about quitting during the season because you do not want your son to think quitting is okay. Not sure if the season has started yet? However, if he is loosing confidence and not having fun he needs a new coach! Have you or your husband thought about coaching? I have attended many youth legues and some of the coaches blow my mind. They need to understand the kids have to have fun at a young age!

After my Dad had a bad experience with my older sister he always coached us. My sister was very athletic but never wanted to play again after her bad experience. That is why I ask if you or your husband could coach! Another option is hiring a young college or highschool student with aspirations to coach. Usually a group of parents get together and split the coast. Depending on his experience $300-500for the summer or something similiar

My husband is a professional athlete and I think confidence is one of the most important components of playing sports! Its is something athletes always deal with and the coaches play a key role in this! You know your child best and if his confidence is down do your best to bring it back up!! Good luck!

Hi L..
I feel so bad for your son, and can certainly relate as my son has been through the same thing. (Not on one of my teams!) I have been coaching sports for about 10 years, and I am also a mom, so I am trying to look at this from both sides. I try to give everyone fair playing time though so it is a little hard to relate to this coach.
My policy has always been "effort plays and attitude sits" so as long as your child's attitude is good and he's trying, he should be playing. I would approach his coach again and maybe finesse it a little. "Coach, I know we have talked about my son's playing time before, and he is really struggling here. Is there something we can work on with him that will get him back in his position?" That way you aren't accusing the coach, but showing that you are willing to help resolve the situation if your child isn't meeting his playing standards. (It sounds like your son plays well, so chances are the coach isn't going to be able to give you anything to work on.) If the coach doesn't offer any suggestions you could follow with , "I'm glad you don't feel like it's his skill level. So, what can we do to get him on the field? He loves to play and will work hard for you if you give him a chance." If the coach does offer suggestions, then I would work with your son as much as possible and then go back to the coach and say, "Thanks for the tips. We have worked on everything you suggested and can't wait for you to see how much he has improved." Again, you are putting it back on the coach and he is going to have to put up or shut up so to speak. If after this he still doesn't put your child in the game then I would go to the league administrator and tell him what you have tried and ask him to intervene.
It sounds like you are trying to be fair and you don't sound like one of "those parents" to me. Hang in there!
Christi

Since you already talked to the coach, and you've noticed he hasn't changed the way he treats your son at all, I doubt he is going to change if you try talking to him again. I'm sorry he's such a jerk, but unfortunately, that's who he is. I think you and your DH need to have a heart to heart talk with your son. Tell him you've noticed he doesn't enjoy the baseball league as much as he used to. Tell him it's OK to quit, if it's become more stressful than fun. It IS supposed to fun, isn't that what it's all about? (You're only one of "those parents" if you're being ultra-competitive, using put-downs, yelling during the games, trying to turn him into a professional athlete, etc) Tell your son you'll support HIM, no matter what he decides. There are other activities, maybe another team (supportive coach, gives equal playing time) or league that he would like better. Tell him you understand he and this coach don't see eye to eye, and you don't care for his way of "kidding around" either. So he has a choice. He can continue to play if being on the team with his friends is still important to him, even if he isn't getting as much play time this year, and he doesn't care for the coach's mannerisms. He CAN choose to grow a thick skin. OR he can quit this team. I would leave it up to him. It doesn't mean he has to give up on baseball forever. You can still plan get togethers with the parents and friends from the team if you son wants to see his buddies. Next year, you can find a different team if this coach is still around.

Find another team for your son to play on. If he has this much experience, you could always say that you are looking for a place where he can use his talents better. This happened with our son, but it was Tae Kwan Do. We made him stick out the classes we had already paid for, but then we said no more. Your son does not deserve to be treated that way, and he will repsect you for seeing that it stops.

This is a tough situation to be in. However every time your child gets a different coach, those coaches generally have their favorite kids that they have been coaching for several years and those kids usually get the key positions. I have learned this over the years. I have 4 boys ranging in age from 19 to 8. Our 8 year old has always played short stop and he is good at it. New coach this year and he has been placed in the out field. He hates playing the out field but this is just one of life's lessons. On the other hand your child is being "bullied" in a sense. I would talk to the coach again and explain that if he does not quit treating your son with disrespect you will be finding another team to play on. Your son's well being is much more important than being "those parents". It seems to me that this isn't about where he plays or how much he plays but the mistreatment your son is having to endure. Good luck and I hope things work out for you and your son.