What would you moms do in this situation? A mom I knew approached me when she knew we were both pregnant and told me since I was having a girl and she was having a boy we should trade clothes. So I contacted her with some difficulty and went over to her house with six boxes of clothes for my son who is four I gave her all the clothes I had. She proceeds to give me one box which didn't even have any baby clothes in it only hats and toddler clothes so it really didn't help me at all. I told her that iwould like the clothes back when she's finished because I'm not sure if I'm done yet. Well I ran into her the other day and told her I have a friend who is having a baby and I would like to lend the clothes to her once she's finished. She tells me she threw out some of the baby clothes cause they were stained ( they're used she asked for used what does she expect) and that the rest if the clothes is upstate and she may not have it anymore I said how could thus be since the baby us still small and wouldn't have worn most if the clothes yet she claims he's wearing 2t clothes at only 8 months and then refuses to give me her number so I can get in touch with her. Then she tells me she can pay me which I know she won't but it's not what I want. What should I do? Why do u think she would do this and claim she didn't know I wanted to keep the clothes?
Thank you all for your responses I really appreciateo your support. Well she thought i wouldn't be able to get in touch with her because she wouldn't give me her number well i was able to get her email and i wrote to her suprise she didn't write back so then i called her and she answered suprised she basically said she gave all the clothes away and acted as if they were all stained and smelled bad which was not true at all i went through all those clothes and they were fine. Some of the clothes can never be replaced because i got them from my father n law who died last year from cancer. But i know i have learned my lesson never to lend anything to someone i don't know well enough. It would have been easier to give them away to someone appreciative of the clothes but i have never met anyone like her and hope i never will again. I told her she can replace the clothes with her own boys clothes when the time comes since she never keeps clothes and is finsihed having children. I guess she asked a few people for clothes got what she wanted and got rid of the rest not listening to me when i said i marked all the tags and i would like the clothes back selfish people don't hear others requests because they're only thinking of their own needs. So i'm not holidng my breath about the replacement clothes but if i do have another and it is a boy i told her i would like them replaced she said lets wait till you know i don't want to wait and have her throw more clothes away. Its just a frustrating experience but i'm greatful for all the good people in the world and the support of friends like you! gthank you.
When you "lend" people clothes, just assume you will not get them back.
If you do, that is great. Do not lose sleep over this.
She scammed you.
That is it in a nutshell.
She got away, with a lot of stuff.
And then lies about it all.
What a schemer.
Some people just suck. I would let it go and never lend her anything again. I probably would avoid/ignore her too.
There is NOTHING more to be done. Let it go, consider it a lesson learned.
Blessings.....
You won't see the clothes again. She is a selfish person.
Can you let people know you need clothes? If I heard your story in real life, I would give you mine.
That's weird.
I have a rule of thumb though that I learned from a friend a million years ago: never loan anything that you are not willing to give. That way if you get it back, it's a pleasant surprise. If you don't get it back, you had the intent to "give" it anyway.
I wouldn't do anything. I would just scratch her off my contact list and not have anything to do with her again.
Ol' Ben Franklin was right: "Neither a borrower nor a lender be." Lending is chancy, no matter what it is you lend. It's better to give clothes away or keep them yourself, unless it's your very best friend whom you know you can trust completely (and sometimes that backfires, too). You've been burnt on this deal. I'm very sorry. You're not the first person it has happened to.
You'll just have to let it roll off your back. Let the badness of the situation be HER problem. Maybe you can help your friend get some baby clothes from other folks or other places - yard sales, thrift stores, or resale shops. They won't be free but they'll be more economical than department stores.
The only other thing to remember is this: don't you ever do that to anybody! And I'm sure you won't.
I think I would let it go because A) you probably won't see the clothes again or get any money for them and B) pursuing it may turn out to be a huge waste of time and energy. Just be much more discerning when someone wants to trade in the future. See what they have to offer THEN decide what you want to give them based on that. Also let them know up-front if you need it back and when. This person really is something else...
I would say-"I'm glad our exchange worked out so beautifully for you."
polonius from hamlet 'neither a borrower, nor a lender be.' i'm just not as mad at this chick as you and the other responders. bags of used baby clothes? i wouldn't be keeping tabs on how many i got versus how many i gave, nor would i sweat getting them back. if they were stained when you lent 'em out, how gross would they be after going through another baby?
it's a bit annoying that she didn't honor your request to get them back, but really, don't lend 'em out if you really want to keep them.
khairete
S.
Unfortuantely what is done is done so I would just forget it (I know it is hard) and stop interacting with her.
Lessons learned - don't ever swap / lend something and expect to get it back. And if you do decide to give, then stop worrying about what happens to those items that you gave away.
I am protective of my stuff and I don't offer to lend anything unless I am ok with parting with it forever. I always tell people I am not sure if I am done yet so I don't want to give anything away.
I'm sorry to say this but I'm guessing you good faith has been burnt on this one. I am guessing you will never see any of the clothes again nor any money from her. She won't care but it will eat at you until you let it go.
You did the right thing but this lady is a taker. Try and think about the dollar value at a yard sale $1 per peice (because that's all's its really worth) and chalk it up to life experience and a reminder of the person you don't want to be.
Yes it sucks, yes she is a cow but you took a gamble and it bit you.
Spend your time and energy (mental and physical) on those who your respect and value. Let this go. Infant clothes are cheap and plentiful, but feeling bad about this experience isn't worth your time.
Congratulations on your baby girl. A few months from now this will seem insignificant (unlike it feels today). She did you a favor, don't spend anymore time on this relationship.
Some people are clueless. I very specifically LENT out my crib and when we went to visit her and the new baby, I see she had painted it neon pink! Then she tells me she is just going to give me her son's (2 1/1) old crib instead since she hadn't painted that one. I took a deep breath and let it go. I gave it to her to use but once it left my home I had zero control over what was done with it. I did learn a lesson not to lend out things out with expectations. Take it for what its worth and move on.
You made a mistake in lending your clothes to someone you didn't know well and she took advantage. Sorry to say, I don't think you have any hope of getting back the clothes that you loaned her. After letting someone else "borrow" our crib, I learned never to lend out anything that you might want back. You clearly told her that you wanted the clothes back, and she opted to throw them out or put them in storage or whatever she did with them. This person is not a friend and I would cut off contact with her. You're going to take the loss of the clothes and there's nothing you can really do about it.
I would be SO angry! I would ask her once again to get in contact with the person she gave the clothes to and if she does not help you out, I would then say, in that case I will have to ask for you to pay me. We agreed that we would switch clothes and I feel that I did not receive many clothes at all.
Really though, there was that chance that you could get scammed, I would have only swapped though if she gave me hers first so I could see what she gave...yikes. some ppl are so rude!
I think when you *give* something--it becomes the property of the recipient.
Drop the matter - you are never going to get your clothes back, drop all contact with her, and take this as a lesson learned - never give something to someone you barely know if you want it back, or give them something of value if you expect anything in return.
Because she is rude and inconsiderate! She may have seen an opportunity to get something for nothing and took advantage of the situation. Sadly, there really isn't anything you can do to get your stuff back. You can write her a letter and tell her how you feel and what you think of the way she behaved, but it really will only be to make you feel better by getting it off your chest! Do it if you think it will help you, but then move on. Some people are just inconsiderate like that!
A friend of mine had a baby last year and asked if she could use my boy clothes. I wan't sure if I could trust her, so I went through everything when she wasn't around and gathered all the clothes that I wasn't sure I liked to begin with and stuff that was stained, etc. Sure enough, 12 months later she told me her friend (who lives 6 hours away) had a boy and she gave all her baby clothes to her. Including mine.
So the moral of the story is, you don't need to have any further interaction with this person. She is scum.
After I had my first baby I gave my gf all my maternity clothes - I didn't plan on having any more kids and didn't think anything of it. Flash forward a year or so - my best friend is pregnant - so I ask the other friend for the clothes back. Well - she'd donated them to Goodwill without asking. I was annoyed but got over it - I think this is pretty much the same. Annoying but not worth stressing over...
I would just let it go. It's so not worth it. Now you know, you should only do this with close friends and family.
Strange. She must have been joking when she first mentioned it and then was to embarrassed or something to admit it when you actually brought over the clothes.
On a side note... my daughter was wearing 2T clothes by the time she was that age, she was always in the 120th percentile for height and weight.
Let's see...because she is selfish.
Cut your losses, pray for her, and let God deal with her...hehe.
Well, first thing is when you did swap with her I think I would have swapped some but not given her four boxes to her one. But, that is hind sight.
It is possible that her 8 month old is wearing SOME 2T...unlikely but possible. My son, who weighed 7 lbs 15.5 oz at birth weighed 19 lbs at 3 months and was wearing 12 and 18 months clothes at that time (they were a bit long but anything smaller did not fit). That doesn't change the fact that you specifically asked that she return them when she was done (which she hasn't and obviously has no intention to do). She may have sold them at consignment or something. You could ask her to pay for them but either way you're not getting the clothes back.
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I learned the hard way to never loan out baby things or clothes. Even my clothes, I usually don't get them back.
Because you specifically asked her to return the clothes, she should have respected your wishes, but she was inconsiderate and didn't. There is nothing you can really do about it now except for let it go and next time don't lend out anything that you wouldn't mind giving away(good rule of thumb for anything!)
Sorry this happened but it's not worth being mad over because that won't change her or the situation. And there is no more need to remain in contact with this person.
~C.
cant get them back now stop being friends with her who needs that
