When Did You Find Out There's No SANTA? How to Tell Kids?

Updated on December 11, 2011
U.A. asks from Arlington, TX
14 answers

Just curious, when and how did you find out there's no Santa Claus? and how and when do you plan on telling your kids?

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

I found out when I was about 8 years old. It broke my heart!
I told my son when he was 3 years old. Sorry for breaking the fun but I just decided not to lie to my son. He knows that some children believe in Santa and that's ok for them. He has a wonderful sense of what's real and what's pretend. I know that some will feel like I am robbing my child of something by doing this but I feel like the whole "Santa thing" is just a big marketing tool for Christmas. I would like to see us focus more on the the real meaning of it. We exchange gifts and do some of the traditional stuff but try to really stay on focus of the birth of Christ.
C.

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

Kids will intellectually figure out on their own. My youngest was very persistent and at the age of 7 demanded to know whether there really was a Santa Claus. My response was that it didn't matter as long as we believed in the spirit of Santa Claus, there always would be one. I personally still believe and so do my kids. They are 12 and 15 and still get gifts from Santa. It actually ends up working very practically because Santa doesn't wrap gifts in our house. I bought large fabric stockings and those have the santa gifts that will fit - others are just left by their big Santa stocking.

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

My parents never told us there was no Santa, they're response was you have to believe to recieve. Even when we were way old enough to know how it works, it may it more fun and let you still be a kid even if you were 15. I plan on doing the same thing, My kids are 9,6,2 and one on the way.

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

I found out when I was about 10. My babysitter thought I knew the truth and spoiled the surprise. I do believe in the Spirit of Santa. I plan on letting my kids believe as long as they want to. We do have a great tradition I started with my daughter. Santa only brings each child 3 gifts, that way we can tie it into the real meaning of Christmas a bit easier. We down play the number of gifts and celebrate the birth of Jesus. Santa wants to celebrate His birth too by giving gifts to kids.

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T.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Check out this website. It tells where Santa originally came from. I told my kids this story in kid language when they started asking questions. I then told them that parents "play Santa" to honor his memory and the good Christian things he did. They all thought it was really neat and let us continue the tradition even after they new the "truth". The older one's don't ruin it for the younger one's either.

http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=38

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B.W.

answers from Dallas on

My kids are 18 and I have still never come out and told them that there is no Santa. Of course they know that mom and dad are Santa, but instead of flat out telling them that there was not a Santa, I asked them who they thought Santa was and why.

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

I cant tell you when i found out there was no Santa...I know i was older than 8 year old.

I found out sleeping in the living room and saw my Dad eating Santa's cookies and my Mom stuffing the stockings.

I wasnt hurt by it.

I was mad to find out from my Mom and Dad at age 6 that there was no Easter Bunny! They thought that I knew...

They will figure it out on their own one day. I wouldnt spoil the surprise for them. If they come to you and ask then just respond with "What do you thin?" and follow there lead.

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B.B.

answers from Dallas on

My kids still don't know shhhhhhhhhh. Anyway I had a friend explain it to her kids by saying that it is a game that parents play with their kids and that we did not need to tell others so as not to ruin their game with their parents. Hope this helps.

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D.T.

answers from Dallas on

Great Question!!!! My 6 year old daughter asks me questions about it constantly. I have been trying to go along with "the lie", but it is hard for me. I am struggling with what to tell her. She has some really good questions and it is hard for me to come up with explanations on the spot! I hate to ruin all the fun, but it seems kind of silly to continue this when she seems to know it is a made up story. I am looking forward to lots more responses from Mamasource moms!

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

WHAT! THERE IS NO SANTA? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

Only kidding. My brother managed to ruin that for all of us when I was 10, he was 8, and my younger brother was about 5. He found the stash out in the locked shed. Yes, he stole the key to snope for presents. He was a troublemaker..long story.

I have not told my kids yet (ages 8 and 5) and do not plan on doing so until they figure it out. On another note, Christmas in our family is not all about Santa, it is about Christ and his birth as well as Easter. I do not know about the rest of you but all of these holidays are so commercialized the TRUE focus of the season gets lost or just totally abandoned. We have to keep that message and its significance alive.

J. S.

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

I must admit, I'm a little surprised at the responses by the other moms.....
I was never told there was a Santa....they didn't tell me there wasn't one, I just wasn't lied to. My parents felt it was important to not lie to me about a fictional character. Also, what really is the point of Santa? To surprise your child with presents? To create excitement? Why can't you provide that as the parent?

I'm doing the same thing with my daughters. For me and my husband, Christmas is all about the birth of Jesus. Why confuse your child with all these competing meanings? Why tell your children that someone brings them presents? First, I want my children to know where the presents come from...they should know that we love them and gave them the presents. Second, Jesus came to this earth to give us the most important present---salvation!

I'm not being judgmental of you and your children...it was a good question to ask...I'm just shocked at such great lengths that parents will go to so they can lie to their children. So, what do you say when your children ask if Jesus is real? "Honey, Jesus is real but Santa isn't..."

My advice, avoid the entire situation and just don't talk about it.

E.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I sort of remember believing in Santa - I was probably about four or five years old. I don't remember being told, or how I found out - at some point, I just knew. I wasn't upset by it - I remember thinking how nice it was that my Mom and Dad pretended for me.

I didn't want to do the "Santa" thing with my kids, but compromised with my husband, who wanted to do the whole shebang. Santa would bring ONE present, and one present only, and the rest would be from us. As we were quite poor, the kids only got two or three presents anyway.

I was surprised to learn my daughter knew there was no Santa when she was only four years old. She doesn't remember how she knew, though most probably she heard it in passing from one of her older brothers.

Shortly before the Christmas she was four, my daughter confidently told me she was going to get a certain doll for her present from Santa. Since I never HEARD of that doll, I had to move fast to find one.

Unfortunately, there wasn't one doll left anywhere! (The store clerks even laughed at me for asking.) She was terribly disappointed, but I told her Santa was sorry he ran out of dolls, and that he would definitely bring her one next Christmas when she was five.

I thought she believed me - she talked excitedly about getting it in the future. That summer, we saw dozens of the doll she had wanted at Chistmas, and begged me to buy it for her. I told her, "Don't worry - Santa promised he would bring one to you next Christmas."

Well, she stamped her feet and yelled at me, "You KNOW there's no Santa!
If you don't buy it, I won't get one!" I had already bought her the doll and hidden it away; so I leaned down and whispered, "It's okay - believe me - 'SANTA' will bring you a doll this year."

She immediately calmed down, and all was well. As she is our youngest child, we could have stopped the pretense of writing "Santa" on the gifts, but we didn't. I don't even remember when we changed that routine.

I like the way my boys found out about Santa: it was completely on their own, and the three of them all learned it at the same time. If it was traumatic for them, they didn't tell us; in fact, they didn't even tell us they had found out!
I only knew because I read the Sunday comics later.

Every Sunday, my older boy (in second grade) would read the comics to his younger brothers (in kindergarten). I hadn't thought to look at the paper first; as it worked out, I'm glad I didn't. The three boys solemnly came to me with a question. "What's a myth?" they asked.

I was busy washing dishes, so I didn't think of why they'd be curious. I told them: "a 'Legend' is a story that isn't really true, but it's based on fact - like Merlin and Camelot, and Arthur and the Round Table. A 'Myth' is a story that many people believe, but it's not based on real life."

My wonderful little boys whispered together, said thanks, and went back to their bedroom. Imagine my surprise later, when I read a comic that referred to
"The Myth of Santa"! In the end, it worked out fine for them.

I found this website because this issue has come 'round into my life again.
My granddaughter (age 7) has asked me - blatantly asked me outright - "is there really a Santa Claus?" I told her I didn't feel comfortable answering that question, and she should talk to her Mom.

I asked later about it, expecting to hear how she told her daughter about Santa; but instead, she had reassured her that Santa IS real. She also told me she plans to continue the belief in Santa for as long as possible.

I don't agree, but it's not my place to contradict her Mom; however, it worries me!!! I'll never "fake" Santa Claus with her; so if she finds out in a traumatic or upsetting way, at least she'll know that I never lied to her.

What do you think?

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B.L.

answers from Dallas on

I was about 8 and I decided on my own that there was no way one man traveled all that way in one night. (even with the time zones working in his favor LOL) I decided that Santa was MANY people doing the work of one man and that each person could be Santa in a way. My mom kinda went with that. We would talk about the different ways that individuals were "Santas". Such as, the people helping the homeless byhanding out food, or the kid helping the older man across the street. Eventually me and my friends figured out it was mom and dad playing Santa at our houses but we just basicaly assumed it was a well meaning individual in the neighborhood that took care of us each year. I will tell my child when he is ready. I want him to come to me and let him ask me for the information. That way I can make sure he is ready for the info.

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

WHAT?!! THERE'S NO SANTA!!!???

Then who IS that big guy I've been snuggling with every December? My kids learned that Santa is really their loving Daddy who goes out of his way to think of others and bring them joy. That makes the transition pretty easy - and it's true!

Now...about that rabbit?

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