Who Does or Doesn't Do "Santa"?

I'm going to TRY to set the record straight, here.

I, too, am a Christian, but as I was growing up, Santa was never presented as THE REASON for Christmas, just a person who helped God and Jesus spread the message of caring for others, charity, and forgiveness.

First and foremost, Christmas IS about the BIRTH of Jesus Christ. Period. Secondly, the second set of gifts were the gifts brought by the Wise Men to Jesus. (The very first gift was that of Jesus, Himself.) Thirdly, Santa Claus has come into the picture because of the Legacy of a Bishop in modern-day Turkey (then known as Asia Minor). Saint Nicholas's legacy was that of giving charity to the less fortunate. I don't believe in using the "Santa is watching over you" to make our kids behave during this season, because that is NOT how St. Nicholas determined his gift-giving. I DO tell my son that JESUS is watching him, and does/does not like what He sees my son doing. (Going thru the "2nd" round...my boys are 14 years apart in age!)

I just googled Saint Nicholas, and here are a few links of his life and legacy (Yes, he was a REAL person!!):

http://www.st-nicholas-indy.org/html/svnikzit.htm.
http://www.crewsnest.vispa.com/stnicholas.htm
http://www.eldrbarry.net/rabb/folk/stnick.htm

Perhaps you can use Santa's legacy of giving to those in need to teach your children the same values. I believe it is very much what Christ would want us to do! (Jesus did not do ALL of His work by Himself...he had the assistance of 12 apostles, and then Paul, who wrote the Letters in the New Testament. You can think of Santa as another one of Jesus' helpers.)

Merry Christmas! :)

I hope this helps with your quandary!
~J.~
____@____.com

I will tell you what our Pastor has said many times about Christian children believing in Santa Claus. He said that believing in something that you cannot see as young children sets a good foundation of believing in God and Jesus Christ later. It helps them understand the abstract. I believed in Santa as a young child but am still a devout Christian as an adult and Santa Claus visits our home each year for my 5 and 9 year old girls. I still teach them that Jesus Christ is what Christmas is really about, but that Santa helps by spreading His spirit through giving. Also, each Christmas we do something special for less fortunate children or families. I think it's okay to offer the tradition of Santa Claus for little ones as long as you back it up with perhaps using an advent wreath, a manger scene, telling the story of the birth of Jesus and then do something special for someone less fortunate that reinforces the "spirit" that Santa Claus conveys to the glory of Jesus Christ. After all, St. Nicholas was a real person. Maybe start with that story about Santa.

Santa is "magic" for such a short period of time in life. I imagine there are not too many people past the age of 10 who believe Santa Claus is a real-life toy deliverer who lives at the North Pole with a host of elves creating toys.

There are, I would wager, millions of people over the age of 10 who find one time a year where the Spirit of God moves across the face of the earth in a tangible way. Could it be that the childhood memory of Santa is a way to soften the heart, making one receptive to hearing what the truest gift of Christmas is?

Can kids be selfish and think Christmas is all about getting stuff? Sure they can! Kids ARE selfish. How many times have you heard your little bitty ones say, "Mine!"? I have a teenager and I can assure you, a new layer of selfishness can (and probably will) crop up. BUT, and this a big "but," we, as parents, can temper and train that trait in our children.

You have a husband who wants to do this - and wants to keep it simple, so let him! How many thousands of women wished their kids even knew their dads? You are truly blessed. So, you wanted opinions - I say let Santa stop by - daddy needs to "be" Santa... it's his way of showing God's love. Help him out, Mrs. Claus, then snuggle your babies up in a blanket and tell them how swaddling clothes must feel and what it must've sounded like that night when the animals were lowing in the stable... and how bright that magnificent star shown.

I read some of the responses you have received and have to put my two cents in as well. My is a December baby. We did not have Santa until his 3rd Christmas and even then he did not understand. However, he knew who Jesus and God are. I just knew that with him going to pre-school, the other kids would ask what Santa brought him and I didn't want him to be left out. As kids, we always "did" Santa growing up, but I also always knew that the celebration was for Jesus. If you ask my son what makes Christmas so special, he will tell you that we celebrate Jesus' birthday and then Santa. Santa doesn't go overboard at our house.

I do not believe that a parent is "lying" to a child when they "do" Santa. It is part of the "magic" of Christmas for them that they will only get to enjoy for a few years. "Santa Claus" is not a real person, but he is based on a real person St. Nicholas who was an obviously very kind and gernerous soul that helped needy children. He was a living and breathing, flesh and blood man that was very kind to others in need. "Santa Claus" is the name that he got "stuck" with after the Reformation. So in "doing" Santa Claus, I feel one is also honoring the memory of a man who apparently understood God's word and the messages of Christ. I do not see that there is anything wrong with honoring the memory of the man. We honor others on Veteran's Day, Memorial Day, President's Day, the anniversary of one's passed on loved one's birth or death. Yes, Christmas is about the birth of Christ and the salvation that event would ultimately bring to us all. That point should be forefront. Still, I do not see a problem with honoring a man that obviously understood the teachings in the Bible and lived his life by doing good for others.

Also, remember, Santa does not have to bring big elaborate gifts. St. Nicholas tossed/dropped gold coins in stockings. Maybe Santa could just leave a nice stocking at your home. Santa always leaves something that points toward Christ in our home whether it is the actual gift (only one Santa gift here) or in the stocking (also from Santa).

Another reason for Santa, it is a great way to leave anonymous gifts for others in need that would not accept the gift otherwise. For example, if you have a neighbor that you know needs a window replaced and cannot afford it. You could anonymously send them a gift card to cover the cost of the window glass with a card stating what the gift card is for and sign the note "Santa."

This is really a decision that you will have to make on your own. I would also suggest talking to your pastor and get his opinion. Talk to other members in your church and see how they handled it and why they have chosen that route.

Whatever you decide, I hope you and your family have a truly wonderful Christmas full of the Spirit.

We are Christian as well. We read them lots of books about the birth of Jesus and the TRUE meaning of Christmas. They ahve their own nativity set too (from Fisher Price) to help drive this point home. We keep it very God based but also, we do let them "believe" in Santa too. Santa bring each of them one, unwrapped present (one of the bigger items, last year my 3 YO got a cheap bicycle) and then one SHARED present that is also unwrapped. I personally don't feel that Santa takes away from Christmas. It's just part of the "magic" of Christmas. However, we do teach them that Christmas is really about the birth of Jesus. Hope that helps.
C.
PS I have two toddlers (4 & 2).

I think you need to let your kids be kids. If they believe in Santa, then i think you should let them. They are only a kid once. my 13 year old still believes in Santa. My ex-sister in law told my 4 year old neice, that there was no santa, and she went to school saying this and ended up in a fight. she now is 13 and hates the fact that her mom told her there was no Santa. Let them believe for as long as they want to.

We do not celebrate Santa either. We are also christians that would rather let our kids celebrate the birth of Christ with a month long birthday party for Jesus. Our daughter LOVES birthday parties so she is already excited about Jesus' birthday party. She can identify santa and we'll let her take her picture with him at the mall but we make sure she knows that we celebrate Christmas for Jesus. I also want my girls to knkow that giving gifts is an act of love, not from santa. We make the holiday really fun since it is my favorite time of year. I don't feel like my girls are missing out at all. I actually believe they are getting a lot more life lessons from stressing giving as an act of love and not from a mythical figure.

T.:

I, too am a Christian and so look forward to teaching my child the true reason for this blessed time. And it did bug me about what to do. I am raising my daugher by educating her and celebrating with her the birth of our savior. But, I do want her to experience all the magic of Christmas - I don't want to take this away from her, so I am teaching her a little about santa as well. I emphasize the birth of baby Jesus, making the majority of our reading, celebrating and talking about the birth of baby Jesus. I teach her the story of St. Nicholas and why he brought "presents" to little boys and girls, I decorate the house, enjoy the holiday, but always with the majority of our celebrating around the birth of Jesus. We have 3 nativity scenes in our home, one especially for her. I feel that if we don't take the whole santa thing too seriously, then why not let the kids be kids? Christmas is such a special time of year for all of us. I know that one day I'll have to have the talk about santa not being real, and that may lead to questions about "if santa is not real, what about Jesus", but I've role played what I will say, and plan on using the conversation as a learning opportunity. Have fun, and have a blessed Merry Christmas!

We don't do the Santa thing in our home, either. Thankfully, my husband has agreed with me on this. For me, it's just about the lie, plain and simple. I won't lie to my child for any reason- social pressures, people who scoff at me, nothing will cause me to lie to my child. If I'm ever faced with a "Mommy, how are babies made?" or questions of that nature, I won't lie to him, I will tell him that he'll learn that when he's older. All the people that think the Santa game is just fun, you do realize that you're lying to your children, right? As long as you're okay with that, do what you will. Don't say "it's okay, because everyone else is doing it"- that's just wrong. There are things other people do all the time that we don't agree with and we don't do. Don't give in to the pressure. Fortunately (I say this because I'm glad that I hate lying) for me, I was lied to most of my life about who my father was. When I found out I was hurt about being lied to. I've asked children that know the truth about the Santa lie how they felt when they were told. Some don't care, but some are definitely hurt that they were lied to- I'm sure they're confused too, hearing that "we don't lie in this house" and "you shouldn't lie", but then Mommy and Daddy have done it all my life? Why take the chance on breaking your little one's heart and breaking their trust in you? I'm sorry, I just don't get it. Sure, I guess the Santa thing was fun when I was little, but would I miss it? No. Would I still get presents from my family and know THEY gave me the best presents out of love? Yes. Or was it some stranger that looked different every Christmas who's lap I sat upon once a year that gave the best presents to me? Could I thank him or should I have been thanking my family and God for our blessings? Hmm, answer's clear to me. T., unfortunately the people that take the most offense to this topic are the ones who perpetuate the lie and feel guilty about it- they should feel guilty but not take it out on seekers of the truth, such as us.

Wow, I guess I am in the minority here! Why can't you teach your children about Jesus AND Santa? That is what we do. I want my girls to understand the meaning of the Holiday and the spirit of gift-giving, but I don't feel that because they get presents from Santa that all goes away. Its all in how you present it to your child and the values you teach everyday, not just on one day of the year. My girls get some presents from Santa and some from Mom & Dad and various other family members. I grew up believing in Santa and wasn't tramatized by learning he was imaginary. Most kids think Cinderella and Mickey are real, too! I never felt lied to when I learned the truth, and I kept "believing" in the spirit of St. Nick and what the Holiday Season means to me and our family...a time to celebrate and appreciate our family members and to be together in celebrating the birth of Christ.

Every family, whether there is Santa or not, has a different amount of presents for Christmas. I don't think the presents make any differnce if they came from mom & dad, santa or the lady next door. Its just a kind gesture and most kids won't read anything further into it, unless you are making a big deal of it as the parent.

Obviously, each family can choose to celebrate however they choose, but I don't think there is anything wrong with Santa. Your husband was raised with Santa and he isn't traumatized by it, right?

Anyway...just thought I would offer a different view.

Merry Christmas!

I am a Christian and we do Santa. Maybe you are making a big deal out of it. Yes you do have a responsibility to be honest to your child...but this is where you can just let your Kids be Kids. Kids grow up to fast now day's and they wont stay sweet and inoccent forever.

Let them enjoy the magical idea of Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth fairy, etc.) There is no harm to letting them believe. Be honest about things like why it is not safe to talk to strangers.

I also agree with Cathy K. response. I think it is a good foundation to belive in what you dont see. This will help in the belief of GOD.

Let them be kids and dont take away the woderful gift of imagination.

Good luck on your decision.

The idea of Santa is exciting. As a child, I LOVED thinking about it and imagining seeing Santa riding through the night with Rudolf's red nose leading the way. Somehow, my brothers and I all knew it was pretend, but we liked the idea of it anyway. Even if you don't choose to tell your children Santa is real, it's fun to tell the stories about Santa and let your children's imagination take off that way.

As a parent, I think I would resent the fact that Santa gives the best and biggest presents...I want the credit for those. I have a three year old and we haven't really discussed what to tell our son about Santa. For now, he knows Santa says "ho ho ho" and has a big white fluffy beard. I don't think he is old enough to really "get it" yet.

I agree with you, though...we should keep the CHRIST in Christmas! Make sure Christ is the center and focus, but there's no harm in having a Santa figure in the picture...even if it is just make believe. Happy holidays!

Don't feel like a scrooge I see no harm in what you are doing We my family are christians and we have taught our kids at an early age the true meaning of christmas and also where the tradition of santa and the tree comes from we still do the tree but they understand the true meaning behind all this craziness shoppin in Dec We too celebrate Jesus birthday I also tell them Jesus loves us so much he was willing to share his birthday with us to get gifts also...Just explain to em every holiday and you will see how much they understand and appreciate the truth in the long run...

Hey T.! My husband and I are debating the same thing right now. My parents didn't tell me about Santa. They thought of it as lying to us. I don't feel like I missed anything as far as my childhood. (I have heard many people tell me that when I tell them that I didn't believe in Santa.) I see that point, but also I (Call me selfish if you must.) want my children to understand the hard work that Daddy does to bring home the money for their gifts. My husband on the other hand grew up with Santa, and can't see either of my points. My daughter knows who Santa is, and we take her to get her picture made with him every year. I just don't tell her that he brings her presents, or drives a sleigh one time a year. I'm a Christian, but I don't celebrate Christ's birth. We live 12 hours from my family, so we celebrate the family time. It's the only time of year that we as a family go see my family. Good luck with your decision!

I believe the birth of Christ is very important but it is also about family and traditions within your family. I am 35 years old and still get Santa at my parent's house. It is a big ordeal. My sister and I have 4 children between the two of us and my sister and brother in law even lives in the same town as my parents but we still all spend the night on Christmas Eve with my parents and get up in the morning to Santa. Now that my sister and I are older, it is more of a group effort for the kids but it is so much fun to watch the kids get so excited. When we were small, it was the same way, Christmas Eve would be spent at church then we would open gifts from each other so Santa would have more room. On Christmas Day, we would get up early for Santa and then go to my grandparents' house to see all of the rest of the family. It is still that way but I would not trade Santa for anything - even my Mom and Dad get Santa...

I have to disagree about the "believing in Santa helps you believe in God" theory. There is a lot of debate in the religious community over the wisdom of teaching your children that although you don't have physical evidence, both God and Santa are real, because of course, they later find out that Santa was a lie, and many a child has then begun to doubt the existence of God. You may scoff at this but some kids are absolutely devastated when the truth about Santa comes out, and, well, we provide a lot more evidence to prove Santa's existence, don't we? I personally think that Santa is not harmful to MOST children. I've gone back and forth on this issue myself and finally have to make a choice this Christmas b/c my older son wants to know about this jolly toy bringer that everyone's talking about. We did not believe in Santa when I was growing up, and I never felt left out at all. However, there are a lot of fun things associated with the belief in Santa that I see now that I missed. My mom was one of those devastated kids when she found out, so she decided not to do that to us. Well, I am horrified by the lie, by the thought of hurting my children for something that really isn't necessary. I loved Christmas as a kid, even though we never even talked about Santa, he was not real, and was not discussed beyond that. We have decided to compromise and teach our sons that Santa is pretend. We will watch the news on where Santa is, and give them stockings from Santa, but it will all be playing pretend. We also will focus on the real reason for Christmas and teach that Santa is just a fun game that we play.

OK Moms...this is a subject that is very near and dear to my heart. My sister & I were raised without Santa. We were told that our mommy & daddy gave us our presents....which they did. We were told that we celebrate Christmas because of the birth of Jesus. We had our pictures taken with Santa and whatever...it wasn't like my parents ever hid our eyes when Santa was around....the big difference is that they did not lie to us. Santa was just an imaginary character just like Mickey Mouse, etc. Moms, our world has tried so hard to secularize this blessed, holy day, so why fall into that trap? I've heard other moms talking about when they had to reveal to their children that there was no santa and how devastating it was. They wonder how many other things their parents have been lying to them about. Also, if you teach Santa and Jesus, at what point do the children distinguish between which one is real?

My daughters are 2 and 4 and they don't believe in santa and certainly don't miss out on any fun! To me, it's also an important lesson for the kids to know that mommy & daddy spent their money to buy their presents.

Bottom line....Santa is not necessary and causes many problems down the road.

I can only tell you that the best and most beautiful memories I have from my childhood are related to Christmas and Santa.

I always had very clear that we were celebrating the Birth of Jesus and that Santa was just part of the celebration. I grew up with my Grandmother and she took a lot of pride in having a big and beautiful Nativity at our house, so for us the Christmas tree is never complete unless there is an important Nativity with it.

She would not make Jesus part of the Nativity until Christmas eve, when the Arrival of Baby Jesus took place with a nice welcome and lots of happiness.

She also teached us that what was and is important is being together in harmony and love. For us every part of Christmas was a joy not only Santa and the gifts.

My Grandmother just passed away a couple of weeks ago and I am going to try to have a beautiful and big Nativity set at my house in her memory. It just makes me remember how happy she made us and what a good job she did in giving us values and moments like this.

Hey T.,

My husband and I had to face this same thing a few years ago. We are Christians also and didn't want Christmas to be all about Santa, but we didn't want our kids to not be part of the fun of Santa either. So we make sure to talk about the real meaning of Christmas like I am sure all Christians do and we incorporate Santa into our Christian Christmas.

We decided when our first son was very small that Santa would only bring 3 presents to each child becuase that is what the Wise man brought to Jesus on the very first Christmas. When he was old enough, we explained that to him and he has never questioned it. It is just the way he has always known it. he is now 9 years old. At first we worried about whether or not he had friends that would receive alot from Santa and he didn't and if that would bother him. But it has never even come up. And even if it did, he knows that not all people believe in Christ and so not everyone would get three ifts like Jesus did.

Good luck!
M. L

I also wanted my son to know that Christmas is a time to celebrate Christ's arrival but I also didn't want to take away the magic of Santa. So I came up with a way to do both. I tell my son that Santa will give him 3 gifts(same as Baby Jesus received)to celebrate Christ being born on Christmas Day. Santa or St. Nick delivers the gifts as a way to celebrate Baby Jesus's birthday and not just because it's a day to give gifts away. That way I can incorporate both ideas into one. He doesn't miss out on the magic of this time of year and it also gives him a reason to think it's even more magical and special. Maybe you can find a way to keep both traditions alive at the same time. I hope that helps some!

My mother was the same way as you. She never told us about Santa or pretended that he existed. My Grandmother always had extra gifts that Santa left under the tree, but I always knew they were from her. My cousins thought Santa existed, but I never spoiled it for them. Personally, I won't be playing the Santa game with my son, although I am sure my husband's mom will. I plan to tell him the story behind Santa and I will also tell him why we celebrate Christmas (as Christians). I don't know how you should handle your husband, but I think there could be a way to compromise.

AMEN!!!
I love how your first response is to tell your children the truth and differentiate santa clause from the Original point of christmas, celebrating the birth of Jesus.

I just participated in a forum involving interfaith marriages and the dilema of hannuka and christmas.

The problem lies with telling the jewish children there is no santa, and the christian children believing there is a santa.
What do families do when families of different faiths get together to celebrate during the month of december.?

My opinion, tell the truth. Like this sweet idea of santa placing gifts to good kids and not bad kids under the tree is going to last forever?

What do you tell them about the tooth fairy? The sock monster?
The boogie man? Santa has nothing to do with Religion. He is a character, a fantasy character who has changed faces many times through history..

We don't say "honey, santa is not real, he's fake, he doesn't exist!" We say santa is just a character like all the other fantasy characters our children our introduced to growing up.
When the time comes to dig deeper, and our child matures, is exposed to different cultures, religions, beliefs, then we'll have the truthful answers for her.

I don't think you are a horrible scrooge at all. I hope you and your husband can come to an agreement, or compromise during the upcoming holiday season.