When Did You Start Discussing Report Cards with Your Kids?

Updated on February 07, 2018
N.Z. asks from Los Angeles, CA
12 answers

When my 5 year old got her first report card in TK, I was quite surprised. I didn't think she would be getting a report card until first grade. So when she got her first report card back in November, I didn't discuss it with her. I got her second quarter report card yesterday. Should I discuss it with her? Do you talk about your child's report cards with them? If so, when did you start?

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N.K.

answers from Miami on

I'd do it as soon as possible. For subjects she's having difficulty with, you can use this opportunity to ask why she got a B, or a C, or what have you. Maybe she can tell you "well, I got a C in math because I don't understand how to add and subtract, I don't get it!" and you can then offer to help her work on that until she is caught up and can improve in whichever area she's struggling.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

We started in first grade with our son.
Not a critique but just using it to see where he was doing well and where he needed some guidance and help.
No matter what his grades - we never dreaded report cards coming out.
With him - he was always rather competitive about his grades - always wanted to do well as he could - and do better than his friends.
He graduated high school with a 4.3 GPA.

In college - he shows us his grades (A's and A-'s so far - freshman year is the best year to get that average up as high as you can - it gets harder from there on out) - and he still texts me if he gets a great quiz score or extra credit.

A report card is a tool.
The most important thing is that they retain their love of learning.

5 moms found this helpful

T.D.

answers from New York on

i started with the first report card we ever got in kindergarten. i showed my children where they were doing excellent and where they needed work and talked to them about how things were going, how we could make working on stuff fun, and how to keep doing excellent.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

We looked at it with them when they got them - they were aware of them (teacher let them know) so we acknowledged it.

Our kids have always done well - had the odd area here or there they needed to work on maybe. We just noted that, but it wasn't something we didn't already know. Something like neatness (one of our children had some motor skill delays) - so we noted that we'd work on it at home (and with OT) and when it improved, we were pleased it made a difference in school work.

We never were ones to reward for school report cards. My MIL always wanted to buy them gifts for it but here, it's expected you will pass. We were always pleased they did well for good effort - we're more about effort.

I think it's good to go over their progress and it's also good for kids to know where they can improve. You just let them know you'll support them in those areas.

I think* we had report cards in kindergarten. But they weren't actual grades. I think the purpose was more to just alert parents if there was a big issue - however, we would have known before the report cards came out.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

In our district, students start getting report cards vs progress reports in the 3rd grade which is the year they being the testing for reading and math skills.

We always communicated about progress reports and report cards. It was nothing "big", our daughter was always a good student and is in Senior in College right now about to graduate with a 4.0 GPA.

Our point was to communicate with her on her grades, improvement, etc like you would do if you were in a job and had a job review. Her school was her job throughout her education and she took that very seriously.

It does not have to be serious conversation, just a "great work". "we are proud of your accomplishments" etc type of thing. I feel like letting her know we were proud of her hard work motivated her more to keep doing well. Praise!!!

I believe you need to be balanced so you do not create pressure on the child. The last thing you need is over analyzing the report cards and putting pressure on the child. Some children are just not straight A kids and that is ok, praise them on the strengths they have.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Is she getting actual grades? Or is the report card more a listing of skills and competencies with such "grades" as "not yet" and "emerging skill" and so on? I hope the latter. Kids this young should not be getting grades, and the card is just a way of communicating with parents. I don't think most of it is applicable or meaningful to the child, frankly, so I wouldn't really bring it up. If you want to say something like, "I got a note from the teacher that says you try really hard, are helpful, and are nice to the other kids," fine. If something says she has trouble focusing or staying on task, there's not much point in bringing it up to the child - very little of what you say at home will translate into focusing once she gets to school. That's the teacher's job, to handle it when it occurs.

If you start seeing a problem area that occurs on several report cards, then you can set up a conference - but ideally the teacher would contact you before that.

I think it's really important to not get too obsessed with elementary report cards or to put grade pressure on kids. If she comes home and asks about it because the other kids are talking about it, then you can just say vaguely that "the teacher says you are doing fine. Keep up the good work."

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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

We talked about them from day 1. We talked about all the good things and said we were so proud of him for working so hard and doing so well. Then we mentioned the things he didn't do so well in, but only to say that no everything is going to come easy, it's ok to have somethings to work on and we know he will keep working hard.

In our school district, all report cars before 5th grade consisted of a list of all learning objectives (no grades). Students were given a 1, 2 or 3 (3 being the best) or an N or an X. ( An X meant that they hadn't covered that concept, and an N meant that our child demonstrated no knowledge or ability of that subject.) They also had teacher comments.

If you daughter is getting actual letter grades, it's still a good idea to talk to her about it. I doesn't have to be pressure filled. Just let her know that you are so proud of her hard work and that you hope she always loves learning. If there is anything the teacher is concerned about, you can talk to her about it - not to reprimand her, but to encourage her to keep trying, even if it's tough,

Grades are a part of life in education, just like performance evaluations are a part of life in the work place. It's just the way it is.

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I started in preschool when my kid's teacher would tell me how they were doing!
What's wrong with discussing how your daughter is doing in school? Praise her for all of the things the teacher says she is doing well! Work on the things she needs to work on.
Pretty simple.

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V.S.

answers from Reading on

Why wouldn't you discuss your child's report card with her? That seems a little silly - she did the work and should learn from the feedback, especially since kindergarten report cards are generally behavior based. From the time my kids got their first report cards in kindergarten, and probably even whatever feedback they got in preschool, I let them know what they were doing well in and what they could work on. Is your goal to prevent your child from knowing she's not perfect? You're setting her up for failure in the future - imperfection is a healthy part of life and not a bad thing!

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I discussed every report card with my kids, starting with their first one in Kindergarten. I mostly focus on the positive: I can see you are working hard in XXX.

I don't focus on the lower scores much, but I note them to myself as things to work on (for example, poor handwriting means we need to incorporate games that require fine motor skills into our day; puzzles and card games are fun ways to incorporate math concepts; etc).

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B.A.

answers from Columbus on

My son is in first grade, and I've never discussed his report card with him. In our school, elementary students receive progress reports rather than a report card with letter grades. They're basically just a summary of what they've done in that subject. And there's a plus or minus sign that shows if they're on track to meet the State end-of-year standards. I've mentioned to him that his teacher said he was really good at reading, but that's about it.

When were cleaning out my mom's house a few months ago, I found my report cards from elementary school. I was shocked when I realized that my first grade report card was straight C's. Not a single A or B the entire year! I always had positive memories of elementary school, and I had memories of being a really good, smart student. Kind of the opposite of what I really was. My parents never shared the report card with me, and I'm glad that they didn't. Because I think that I would have started viewing myself as being 'less than' the other students. I went on to graduate from college and earn a master's degree, so the report card wasn't at all indicative of what I was capable of doing. That's one of the reasons I was happy to see that our school doesn't use letter grades.

1 mom found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

are we talking letter grades, or progress reports?

regardless, i can't think of any good reason NOT to discuss it. it's theirs, after all.

not grill them, or beat them over the head with it, or praise them to the skies if it's all glowing. but yes, review it, and ask them if there's anything they'd like to discuss or need help with.

i can't honestly remember when my kids started getting actual report cards, but we always talked over information from their daycares and then schools on their learning and behaviors
khairete
S.

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