When Did You Start Having " the Talk" with Your Sons?

I actually did a persuasive speech on this topic. What I found in my research was that it is best to talk to kids in Elementary school about this topic. The reason is that they are not yet to a point where they are embarrased and the conversation can be matter of fact with proper names used for body parts and open and honest conversation. This way the child will feel that they can always come to you with questions and that it isn't scary or awkward.

I think a lot of it has to do with attitude rather than the "talk"....what is your husbands attitude towards you and towards other women? Is he protective and well spoken to them or is he flippant and always oogling the girls as they walk by ? Children learn what they see being lived out around them...
Of course you want to have "the talk" with him about sex before marriage...unprotected sex ...STD's etc....I would say that 12 is not too early to start...children are unfortunately growing up SO quickly now days. But as the mother of 3 daughters, please let me ask that you also talk to him about the things I mentioned before....being honorable and upstanding in his relationships with girls/women....not taking advantage or "putting the moves" on them. Teach him to learn to be proud of the man that he looks at in the mirror each day....in all things...not just sexual ...but in everything he does, says and thinks. That is the way to raise a real man!!!
Good luck to you...I know what a mine field raising children can be!!

I had this question a few months back! My son was in 3rd grade and 9 years old. With advice from his dr. and others, we decided to have the "talk" with him. His dr. suggested a book called, "What's the Big Secret." The doc said my son was a little old for the book in that it is drawn with cartoons, but it was perfect! I checked it out from the library, and my husband and I sat down one night with him and went through the book.

At first, my son was giggling at the pictures, but then he was very interested in what we had to say. He had lots of questions. I really thought it was going to be much more uncomfortable than it was. I'm so glad we did this! I'd much rather him hear the truth from us than to hear wrong information at school. We told him that some kids may make up rude words regarding this, but that he will know the truth.

Regarding puberty, I plan to go the bookstore and do some research!

Not sure how old your child is, but check the book out yourself first and see what you think!

My son is 9. I got him a copy of the book "It's Perfectly Normal" when he started throwing around slang terms he was hearing older kids using in his after school program. He jokes a little sometimes when he reads it saying he can't believe I think it's OK he's reading it; But honestly, I'd rather he know the facts than toss around words he has no clue about. Best of luck to you.

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My son is 9. I got him a copy of the book "It's Perfectly Normal" when he started throwing around slang terms he was hearing older kids using in his after school program. He jokes a little sometimes when he reads it saying he can't believe I think it's OK he's reading it; But honestly, I'd rather he know the facts than toss around words he has no clue about. Best of luck to you.

Hello Mom, As the mother of 5 I really thought we had this under control but have learned that we just barely skimmd the top. So I am glad that you are addressing this and wish you lots of wisdom in doing so. We started as young as 3 to tell them not to let people touch thier body and what to do it someone did.. I didn't care if they stood up in church and made an announcement as long as they were potected.
We cared for foster newborns when our sons were young. We had them do the mjor care- feeding, diapers, walking the floor, bath time and feeding. I had them go tothe store with me and purchase all the needed items. WHY? to help them to understand part of the whole picture of parenthood. They saw the part of drug baby, ones not cared for and born with disabilities including parents that lived under a rock. They learned to be fully responsible. We even had many talks about how I would be a mother in law before I became a grandmother. They all honored this by the way!-- what we tried to teach and my boys tell me we failed at is this: We taught them that they were special and that thier bodies were Temples of God and not Visiting areas so hands off and no touching. What we had not added into the picture was the girls that were drop dead eautiful, the ones that dressed to show off thier bodies and took great pains to be as sexy as possible. That my boys tell me now as adults and fathers is the thing they are really going tostress to thier children. Seems that the young ladies are out thiere to teach sex as much as the teen boys. Our girls were not allowed to dress this way and were modest so it was an unplanned part of the talks for us. I wish you great luck as the times seem to allow for many things that were never even thought of 15 years ago.

In our school district, we have sex ed. (birth controls and diseases) as early as in 7th and 8th grades (parents can op out the kids); then drugs and bullying in 9th and 10th grades. I don't believe giving the talk before the guys are ready or mature enough. They can be curious, so we can let them explore on their own, but keep an eye on his behavior and keep the communication line open.

They do have a book...I do not recall the name...do an amazon search and stuff will come up.

With my son, I have always been honest and open with him since he was very small, acknowledgin his curiosity and observations and letting him know what is publicly acceptable and what can be discussed amongst family and what he can do privately in his own room. *grin*

Just keep things open. Keep them honest. The book is a good idea. Also, take queues from TV, life, experiences and talk about them. Use them as teachable moments. WHen something comes up, ask your son's opinion about it. Let him know it is ok to talk about it. THen live up to that and listen to him and don't judge him. But also allow clarification and guidence.

Have fun.

I have a 3.5 year old, so luckily this is a few years down the road. I think your husband is trying to avoid giving the talk - I think it's BOTH your jobs to have conversations about sex - from the male and female perspective. Ongoing conversations are probably best. Just because he's not asking questions, doesn't mean he doesn't need the information. Your library may be able to help, and possibly Amazon.com - google "books puberty boys" and see what happens.

I think your son is still a little young to have "the talk" - but you have to do what you feel is age appropriate. Yes, there are many books geared to boys - I'm sorry I can't remember any specific titles, but I noticed that my doctor's shelves were loaded with them the last time I was there. My son is 15 - when he was in grammar school they pretty well covered sex ed in 7th and 8th grade - although he never had any specific questions, I always encouraged him to ask me or Dad if he did. Last year, when he took Biology as a HS freshman, they covered reproduction in depth - so I know that he at least has all the "facts" now. The more important part of the equation, though, is teaching the emotional component of sex, the necessary respect for ourselves and others, and taking responsibility for our actions. That doesn't come from a textbook, it comes from you and your husband - modeling appropriate behavior and having an ongoing dialogue with them at different ages and stages of their development.

I know all about that! When I have my 2 sons(6 and 9) in the store and there are girls in skimpy clothes on magazine covers or when we walk by vicotrias secret they point an crack up-very embaressing! I dread the talk...in my mind that is the pivotal exit of childhood innocence. You can't look at life the same after that.

We had "the talk" when they were still in grammar school; I agree with Kim B. that it's a really good idea to start talking about it when they're young enough that there isn't a lot of social stuff connected with it...and it's not just "the talk," it's talkING...for years...it never ends. The kids are 13 and 15 now and have no problem asking questions or talking about sexual issues...also the internet was a great resource for explaining anatomy, etc...; there are a lot of good sites out there that are appropriate for a variety of ages. I know that sex ed in schools often doesn't start until 7th-8th grade, but kids are often already somewhat sexually active by then. Talking to them about it early, and often, and using age-appropriate books or websites, will give them a real advantage.

I just always incorporated that type of talk into conversations from day one really.
The more informed your kids are the less questions they will have.
Some women have big boobs some dont. Men like boobs so they like to look at them. Some men like large ones some prefer small ones. Ask your son what he thinks looks better.
Just explain that staring is rude and we dont do it, not at boobs, not at anyone for any reason because it makes people uncomfortable to be stared at.... and you dont talk about body parts out loud except when you are at home.