When Do You Start Teaching Your Child About "Stranger Danger"?

Updated on March 12, 2014
L.F. asks from Fort Worth, TX
8 answers

Hey moms, I have a 3 year old and 15 mth old son. Of course I can't expect my 15mth old son to stay walking with me when we're out so I'll carry him if I have to, but it's not practical to carry both of them or get out the stroller every time. My 3 year old has gotten better about staying with me but sometimes if we're at a restaraunt and he starts getting antsy he wants to get up and walk around. I have to keep reeling him back in. Or if we're out he'll try to break away from me and get too far away from me, I'm always struggling to keep him close by my side. I have heard too many stories of children being abducted when they've been right next to their mom and the mom turns her head for a second and they're gone. That terrifies me! How old should he be before I tell him the dangers about strangers or what could happen if he doesn't stay next to me? I want him to be aware and more cautious, but I also don't want him to be scared of the world either.

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C.

answers from Dallas on

John Walsh has developed a video called that very title. It's aimed at 5 - 10 year olds. Heard him talk about it on Larry King. Suspect it's good as he partnered with the creator of Baby Einstein. Link here to the site. https://www.thesafeside.com/Store/StrangerSafety.asp

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L.

answers from Dallas on

There is a GREAT DVD from John Walsh (America's Most wanted)and Julie Clark (Baby Einstein) calles the Safe Side. We bought it for my 4 yo and it is a great way to introduce the topic. They never actually use the word "Stranger". Instead they call them "don't knows", "kinda knows" and "safe side adults". It makes it much easier for kids to understand.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.W.

answers from Dallas on

I believe a 3-year-old is old enough to learn that there are tricky people in the world. The way I was able to teach my daughter the best was with a program called "Yello Dyno." It is an excellent program because it talks about tricky people as opposed to "strangers." You see, the problem is that you and I talk to "strangers" all the time - even when we tell our kids not to talk to "strangers." That confuses them. Because of Yello Dyno, my daughter understands that there are people out there who will trick you...with candy, a pet, or other things...into going somewhere with them. She has also learned through Yello Dyno a song abpit what parts of her body no one should touch ("My Body's Mine") and what to do if mommy gets "lost!" ("If Your Parents Get Lost"). ;) This program is musically-based and we sing along with the CD in the car and watch the video often! The video is probably better for a 4 or 5 year old but the basis of the whole program is teaching kids how to protect themselves. I strongly recommend this program to anyone who wants to learn how to help your child protect him or her self. Because, as we all know, we can't be with them every moment of every day. You can get the information you need at www.yellodyno.com
Good luck to you! E. W.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.

answers from Dallas on

Hello,

As a social worker and a mom, I fully understand your concern. I highly recommend a video called "Stranger Safety." It was created by Julia Clark (founder of the Baby Einstein Company), so you can be assured that it presents issues of dealing with strangers in a way that is engaging to even young children. My son was 4 years old when I bought the video and he wanted to watch it repeatedly, which was wonderful because it really sinks in the concepts of how to deal with "people you don't know," (it doesn't refer to people as "strangers") AND potentially dangerous situations, even showing in role-play the right response to take in these situations. It also talks about "people you kind-of know," which is a wonderful concept to discuss because most of the time children ARE familiar with the person who may victimize them. It even addresses such issues as personal boundaries and empowers your child to think for himself so he can keep himself safe.

For more information and a way to order this very special video, check out-

www.thesafeside.com

This video was one of the best decisions I ever made in talking to my child about stranger danger and ways to keep himself safe. Your son may only be three but it's not too early to at least present this type of information.

Please email me if you have any other questions about the video or talking to your child.

R.

1 mom found this helpful
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N.S.

answers from Dallas on

We started telling my daughter around 3 but I really don't think she understands. She's so friendly and obedient I think she'd go with any adult if they told her to. Even though we've told her over and over again not to. I bought the wrist tethers for her and my son and they come in handy in situations where you can't hold them. They just velcro around the wrist. My son hates his because he wants to run all over the place so he tugs at it and tries to take it off but I just ignore him and he stops after a minute or two. It comes in really handy when they don't want to hold your hand too. I got ours at Babies r Us.

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C.G.

answers from Dallas on

I think now is a good time. You don't have to scare him but explain to him why it's so important for him to stay where you can see him. You might just say "there's people out there who would love to have a little boy such as yourself and it would make mommy and daddy very sad because they might never see you again". I think that's what I started out telling my girls. Then as they got a little older I might explain that not all people are nice to little kids and that some might even hurt them when their mommys and daddys aren't there...
Something to think about. I still say I'd rather them be afraid and safe than unafraid and ...

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C.S.

answers from Columbia on

I have been asking myself these same questions. My 8 yr old was actually bullied by a jr high kid on the way home from school, which led me to deepen my thoughts on this matter. I am including a link to your blog in my post today. Hopefully we can raise informed and secure children working together. http://www.piddle.me/monsters-tell-children/

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A.T.

answers from Little Rock on

Hey girl, there is something at walmart that I want to get for Tori and its only like $9. It is and animal backpack for the kids but the animal's tail is a leash for the mom! Dude, we should of had these at the soccer game! ;o) If you get it before me let me know how you like it!

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