When Should My Son Be Able to Poop in the Toilet?

My son will be 4.5 in August and also prefers to poop in his Pull-up. He has pooped on the toilet in the past but it is always a partial poop and the rest comes out in his underwear. In fact, I have cleaned his underwear of poop so many times I can't count. I don't think my son is scared of using the toilet or flushing part of himself down. I think it is just a matter of what's easier. He may also be uncomfortable with sitting down. I really like the suggestion from one of the moms who responded to put the child on the toilet in the Pull-up. I will try that. Also, someone suggested to me that I feed my son something like castor oil or prune juice to hasten the poop and help him do it at home, before camp or school where he would be less comfortable using the public toilet. Has anyone tried that?

Boys are so stubborn :). My son potty trained at 3.5 fully, but not a minute before. We just took away all diapers and pull-ups one day and he had no other option. Our day care at the time (the only time my kids were in day care for about a month) was great in helping us get him done. But we did not give him the option to go to the potty in anything besides the potty. By this age they know it is not right to poop in a diaper and I got so disguested by it because they are old enough - you know? I know it is hard, but I think just taking away the pull-ups all together. We used them on our daughter and had a much longer time trying to get her to sleep through the night without accidents. I used to babysitt for someone who did not attempt potty training at all with her boys. The oldest would wear a pull-up when not at school, run around with a binki in his mouth, and use sippy cups, at the ripe old age of 6. I think that scared me into encouraging the kids more. But I would just take the pull-ups away from your son all together. He is old enough to know where to go to the bathroom, and has to learn eventually. Good luck!

He's on track.

My take: No pressure. It might backfire massively. Positive reinforcement only. With my son it took a huge bribe, but he only had to do it once to realized that this was a way easier place to poop than in his diaper, outside, hiding behind a tree, which was his previous zone of choice.

Don't let him see you flush, some kids get upset.

Keep tons of fiber (strawberries, apples, carrots, celery) in his system at all times. If he poops and it hurts, it could set y'all back for months.

Hi, I am going to go against the grain here... but I can't believe kids over 4 in pull-ups. Talk about traumatic. I think you need to set exopectations for kids. "Babies wear diapers, and you need to get with the program!" ... but nicer :)

Tell him if he holds it in, it will hurt, and he has to listen to his body. Teaching some self-awareness about his body's signals and what is healthy is not out of line. My daughter got badly constipated once in her life recently (she is now 5.5) and we had a long talk about how it happened because she/we didn't eat well that week (a vacation and two birthday parties). I explained that you need ot eat lots of fruits and veggies and that will make your body poop, which is something it is supposed to do and shows that you are healthy. She knows all about how the body keeps the nutrients and water it needs and gets rid of the junk. Holding in tha tjunk can make you sick. Don't make it such a mystery - 3.5 is certainly old enough to know how things work.

I think as time goes by it is more an issue of misinformaiton and discipline. I am all for not rushing potty training, and I know they go at their own pace, etc. Big fan of waiting and not starting too early or putting pressure on kids. But he has been day-trained for a long time (a year?), I think he is able to be trained at night probably too. But the not pooping thing, that is a habit and a routine issue that he needs to break.

Let me end by saying that I don't think you are doing anything wrong, but I think that you need to consider not worrying so much about traumatizing him, and approach him more as a big kid and not a little baby. He can do this (clearly he is in control of the poop), and he is choosing not to. All that said, I would take away the pull-ups (giving him warning and planning, even a "get rid of pull-ups" party) and see if he stays dry at night. Heck, pull-ups are expensive too!! It might take a week or two to work out the kinks. But it should also take care of the pooping thing. I also like the suggestion of cutting a hole in the pull-ups when you are transitioning. But basically, tell him to poop in the potty, and doing otherwise is not acceptable.

Good luck. My MIL still tells stories about when my husband potty-trained much to his dismay. Maybe you will look back on this time fondly when you tell stories to his wife :)

There really is no set age on when its proper to be poop trained. Some kids do it others dont. All my kids pooped and peed in the potty w/out issue, so I never could understand the opposition to not wanting to poop in the potty.
If your son poops on a schedule (at bedtime in his pullup) then at bedtime, sit him on the potty til he poops. Id also skip the pullups. When you put on the pullup you are giving him permission to poop and handing him an acceptable place to put it: his pullup.
Yes you might have to clean up a mess or 2 or 3, but it will be much more short lived than playing the pullup game.

Its a very hands on process and you have to be watchful. As soon as you see him pooping, grab him and put him on the toilet. Give him a book. Even if he sits there for 30minutes. He will get the idea, he is Definately old enough to understand. He is manipulting you.
My friends son would poop in his pullup all day, just to get her attention so that she would spend more time w/ him and change his pullup. She finally caught on and said NO More pullups and that was it.

Hi K.,

My son just turned 3 and he does poop in the potty, but on occasion, he will run and hide and I have to make him go to the potty. What worked for him was to offer a reward for pooping in the potty. I went and purchased alot of those little hotwheels and put them in a basket. He was allowed to pick one every time he pooped in the potty. This worked really well and now he just does it on his own. He used to hold his poop, but I started giving him the PediaLax gummi fibers and that worked.

When my daughter was a little over 4 we had the same problem. She would get a pull up out and put it on to go poop. She was used to pooping standing up and sitting down was hard for her. Our pediatrician recommended what to do. She was allowed to poop in the pull up for another week but only while in the bathroom sitting on the toilet. We then cut holes in the back of the pullup and had her sit on the toilet. After a couple of times of this she wouldn't need the pull up anymore. After making her stay in the bathroom to poop she decided on her own in a couple of days that she would use the toilet.

Hello!! I need to start by saying, I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this!! My daughter will be 4 in August and she still poops in a pull-up too!! Totally potty-trained otherwise and when asked about making poop on the toilet she tells me that she can't sit and poop, she needs to stand so it will come out. I remember my oldest daughter doing the same for awhile at about the same age. So no worries - they will eventually sit and poop on the toilet!! Good luck!!

My son was only 26 months when he learned all the potty training at once. He did not have trouble with the pooping, but we had a nephew that did. I took away the pullups (which i wish were NEVER invented) when we trained and so did my sister (eventually) and her 3 year old started doing it. Of course we all made the biggest fuss in the world when he did. --- I have 2 other friends that had the same problem with their boys. One bought her son a HUGE present that he couldn't have until he pooped in the toilet (that worked) and the other told her son he was making his poopy sad because when the pee pee gets flushed down the toilet it goes to the pee pee party, and the poopy wasn't getting to go to the poopy party because it wasn't in the potty (also worked). It's my understanding this is a common problem. But a year is too long to let this go on for.... it's time to draw a hard line. Good luck!!!

I have read that some children consider their poops part of their body and are afraid of having it go down the toilet. This can be especially concerning for little boys because they are really afraid of flushing their penises down the toilet. If he sees you diapering his baby sister, he may wonder what happened to hers. Anyway, I nannied for a little boy who did the same thing. What I did was, I made him put the poop from his diaper into the potty (carefully, of course) and flush it down. This was to show him that it doesn't hurt him for his poop to be flushed. You can also talk about why you are doing this and assure him that he doesn't need that part of his body. Eventually, the boy I watched just decided for himself to go in the potty. If your son can control his bowels enough to wait for the diaper, then he really is potty trained. It is just a matter of addressing his fears. (Another thing that helped with my girls was leaving a clear jar of candy rewards, like M&Ms, in a place where they could see it. If he doesn't get candy often, it can be very motivating). Good luck!

If rewards aren't working, maybe put a pull-up on and have him sit on the toilet (yes, with pull-up on) and poop that way. Then progress to cutting a hole in the pull-up so he can poop on the toilet with the pull-up on. Then with-out the pull-up.

HOLDING POOP IN. You are so right about not pushing him so far that he holds the poop in, gets constipated... It's an ugly cycle that's hard to break mentally and physically. I've just been able to get it (encopresis, constipation, stool withholding) under control with my 4 1/2 year old son. He's been holding since 12 months. Back then he'd go once every 7-10 days, then around 3 years old he started leaking little bits every day - he was totally impacted and whatever could leak around the mass, did. About a month after his 4th b-day he was in underwear during the day. A month after that, he was in underwear at night too. So, I urge you, since your son IS going every day, don't do anything that makes him so uncomfortable that he holds it.

I would take him out of pull ups. At sears the sell water proof sheets that look and feel like regular sheets. I used them with my daughter and they work GREAT. But it will take away your sons OUT. He's using the fact you still put pull ups on him as a way to avoid pooping in the toilet and i think it's bad for his progress. Good luck

I'm not sure no pull-ups at night is the way to go. How about feed him more fiber (fruits/vegetables/whole grains) so he has to go during the day. Bladder control at night is hard for a lot boys almost up through kindergarten / first grade. Even with a water proof sheet, I can guarantee you're going to hate changing the bed more than changing a pull up - night after night after night. On the other hand, your son is about old enough to change his own pull up. Teach him how to clean himself up and once he's the one who has to deal with it, he'll see the sense of using the potty.