My husband and I were trying to have a 3rd child and just found out we are pregnant. Our older two boys are 22 months apart so the older one didn't really get it until I was showing and really didn't get it until baby was home. Now that I have two older children that totally get it I am wondering when to tell them. My thought was to wait as long as possible to make sure all it well. I am assuming this will be the sex talk time too as the older one will no doubt have questions galore. Just wondering what other mom's experiences with similar situations were.
Telling them soon leads to them bugging you "is it time for the baby yet? When does the baby come?" etc.
Also, don't tell them untill you're ready for others to know, because kids, bless their hearts, are not good secret keepers!
I agree, at least 3 months along then tell them. But that doesn't mean you can't talk about babies and growing families and stuff like that.
Personally I would not wait. I try not to keep things as open and honest with my kids. I also feel involving them will foster good will towards the new addition. Like someone else said I doubt this will lead to the sex talk.
Hi M.. Congrats. My boys are 16 months apart and we got preg. again when they were 5 and 7 also. I told my best friend right away but waited to tell anyone else or the kids until we were 13 weeks. I had 2 prior miscarriages and I just wanted to be farther along until I shared our news. We told the boys first and then they got to tell the rest of the family & friends. My oldest just asked why we were having another but didn't ask a lot about HOW. We just gave a generic answer about how a mom/dad decide to have a baby and then we do. I thought I would start off vague and see if that satisfied his questions and it did. I really didn't want to get too graphic at 7. I remember being grossed out when I found out and I was 10.
My 5 year old had the most questions but it was more about where the baby would sleep, what he would eat, etc.... Both are great with our 3rd son now. Always saying how much they love him and how cute he is. I wasn't sure how boys would react to a baby but they have been great loving helpers. Good luck to you and your family:)
i would wait until u can say hey ur getting a baby brother or baby sister and they wait for the baby to get here wont be so long for them congrats!!
I would wait until you and showing and until you are telling others. We waited to long to tell our oldest and one of my friends (who did not realize our kids did not know we were expecting) asked her if she was excited to be a big sister again!! I would also suggest that you try to tie your due date with a big event or holiday. We told our kids that the baby would come a few weeks after New Years Eve. That seemed much easier for them to understand than we are having the baby in five months.
my boys were 4 and 2 when i was pregnant with our 3rd. we wanted to wait until we were ready to be public with it to tell them because we didn't think they'd keep it secret. i was worried about the possibility of miscarriage so i wasn't sure i wanted to tell people right away. but my oldest really pays attention to any changes in the household so we found that it was difficult to keep it a secret from him for very long. and i realized that even if i did have a miscarriage, that wasn't something i would want to keep secret. i would want support from my friends and family. i also wanted my kids to understand why i didn't feel well or was super tired. so we ended up telling our kids sooner, before other adult family even. i expected them to blab the first chance they got, but they didn't. they were excited about it for the whole pregnancy and adore their little sister. good luck with your pregnancy and congratulations!
I would wait until you start telling everyone else. And I don't know that this will necessarily lead to the "sex" talk. Haven't they seen other pregnant women or asked where babies come from? Regardless, I would wait until the 3 months and then tell them. Good luck and congrats!
I had my fourth when my oldest was almost six. She asked how the baby got in there and because she loves flowers, I told her just like flowers have seeds that grow into new flowers, mommies have seeds that grow into new babies. She asked if I would have lots and lots more babies and I told her that not all seeds will grow, but when one does isn't it beautiful? She seemed satisfied and I avoided any sex stuff!
I would wait until you have hit 12 to 16 weeks, when miscarriage risk is reduced, but if you do plan to wait you must wait to tell everyone, because they could hear it from someone else.
I think waiting until the risk of miscarriage is greatly reduced is best. We had a miscarriage for our first pregnancy and we told everyone the day we found out which included my husband's siblings (from MIL's 2nd marriage), who at the time were 6 and 8. They were so excited and then had to deal with the loss and I vowed to NEVER do that again. Our second pregnancy we waited until 8 weeks to tell our parents and then 12 weeks for close family/friends and then 14 weeks (after a great ultrasound) we told the world and the children in our lives. If you explain to your friends and family that you want to wait to tell the children, they should be understanding. :)
It may bring questions and you may want to go to Amazon or elsewhere and search for books that deal with the topic on a child's level. Some children are ready for an in-depth discussion and others only want some basics and are satisfied. You have to be prepared for whatever they want to know and having some good books on hand will be a huge help! :)
Both are at the age where they will get it and I think you should definitely make it something special for them and announce it in a very cute and fun way as a family.
Congrats!
You have it just right... go with your Mama instincts on this one. Wait until all is well and once you are showing then tell them. If they have questions, answer honestly and with correct language.
Congrats and best wishes!
skip the sex talk at that age unless they ask. my boys were 7 5 and 6 when I had the last one. the only thing they asked was where will the new baby sleep (concerns that one of them may have to give up the "new" bunkbeds lol. I would wait until your starting to show and then tell them the poster who suggested tying it to a date they can relate to (christmas, halloween etc) was right. It is a lot easier for them to relate to christmas than say dec 19th. christmas means winter. they will stop badgering you with questions about is it today in july lol congrats
I tell my kids as soon as I find out, and yes with one pregnancy, I lost the baby at 4 months and the whole family was sad together. We always felt like if something did go wrong they would be confused as to what was going on and that kids need to learn some points in life that maybe are not so happy.
As far as the sex talk with your oldest. He will ask questions, but in my opinion he is way to young for an all out sex talk. My oldest one is very inquisitive and he definitely asked questions about how it got there and how it will come out (he was almost 7 at the time). We are a Christian family which made it very easy to explain that God chose our family to raise another little person and that we are very blessed to have such an honor. As far as how it comes out, I just told him that I go to the hospital and the baby doctor helps the baby come out. Of course he asked if it hurt and I said "Yes! Very much!" but not to worry, my body was made for this and the short time of pain is worth the final outcome. One of my sons was very concerned about me being in pain so I reassured him that they give me medicine in my back so I don't have to feel it. He was fine then.
In short, be honest with them but keep it age appropriate. They will get by with some information but not all of it. Most kids are not even ready for the real detail until they are at least 9 or 10.
Good luck to you and congrats!
In our family we don't tell other people that we are expecting until I have had my first appointment and have an official due date, but we tend to tell the kids before we tell anyone else. Because after all the new baby affects them more than it will affect other people.
Congrats! Your older kiddos will be so helpful, and you'll only have 1 in diapers!
I agree with the ladies who recommend waiting till you know the gender of the baby (or, if you are choosing not to find out - waiting until the chance of miscarriage is low) It will be easier for you to hit the news home that they will have a baby brother or sister, and by that time you'll have a bit of belly to back up the statement!
Don't worry about the sex talk with your 7 year old unless they bring it up. It didn't come up with mine.
MY boys are 3 1/2 and 5 1/2 and we told them around the time we were having our 4D u/s. They went with us and were amazed to see their baby sister:)
My oldest was 5 when #3 came along. He had some questions, but was quite satisfied when we told him that God had put a baby in my tummy. I think the world keeps telling us that we have to have "the talk" earlier and earlier. 7??? That's crazy early. My kid is going to be a kid as long as possible.
We told everyone at 12 weeks. So many people wondered why we waited that long. It seems like people tell me when they're going to buy the test!!! I guess I'm a little more private than that. I don't tell anyone we're trying or anything. But it's my choice when to tell, and we do 12 weeks. We told our kids at family night before we told anyone else. It just seemed right that our little family should be in the know first.
They were super excited. It was fun to have them at the ultrasound, too.
