Where Is My Thank You Note??

Hi M.,

No, I do not think you are over-reacting at all!!! I am a stickler for sending out thank you cards and I just think it is so rude when others don't. Especially when you put extra thought and time into personalized gifts the way that you did. I guess some people just don't see the need for thank you cards, but I do! I think two months is kind of a long time to wait to send them out, but maybe they will get around to it eventually.

E.

I'm with you, M.. Thank you notes have gone the way of good manners. I don't expect anyone to gush over my gift, but I do expect them to let me know they received it. If the recipient doesn't have time to write a quick note, the LEAST they can do is call to thank you and let you know they received the gift. It's amazing, people have time to send out announcements for their special day (wedding, birth, graduation, etc.), but can't find time to send thanks (acknowledgement that they received the gift). Don't let anyone tell you that good manners (and class) are out of style. It's just that so many people nowadays haven't been taught them.

I would suggest an email or phone call to see "if the gift arrived." That would let them know you are concerned that they didn't receive it and give them a chance to thank you. It would also give them a quick chance to talk to another adult. Babies are very time consuming, I'd cut them some slack.

okay - so this made me laugh. 6 months ago I would have said -- yes, it is totally rude that they haven't sent a thank you card. I am the kind of person that sent my wedding thank you cards 1 week after I returned from my honeymoon. But, 6 months ago I had a baby. And my normal organized in-control world -- spun out of control! I have over 100 Thank you cards to send out. The envelopes are printed, the pictures have been ordered and stuffed -- and I have actually written over half of the cards - but just can't seem to get them finished and mailed. I feel totally embarrassed and constantly apologize to my friends and family. In fact – I should be working on them instead of playing on the internet ;-) But when the baby finally goes to sleep and the dishes are done and the clothes washed – all I want to do is sit here for 20 mins and see what else is going on in the world before falling asleep. Anyway, my point is, they probably are just crazy busy. And hopefully they are working on getting those cards out. But if you are worried they didn't receive it, I would tell your husband to ask them.

I love thank you notes like you and think people should step up. It is sad though, i hardly ever receive a thank you note whether it is for a wedding, shower, baby or bday. The only thing i can do is make sure i always send one. Mayeb guilt will kick in one day. People have really gotten lazy. It seems they have no problem writing you and invite but you can forget the thank you. I would suggest if you had any contact with them to drop them a note, just checking in on baby since you really haven't heard. Maybe they will at least call. Remember, we may be a super busy fast society now, but please don't drop your pens. Good luck as we remind people of their manners.

I truly don't believe in giving gifts with expectations or strings attached. If I give a gift I expect nothing in return, not even a thank you note or call. If I do receive appreciation/gratitude then it's a bonus.

I occasionally give "anonymous" gifts b/c it's about the heart of giving unto the Lord, not so I will receive the glory.

Warm regards,

A.

Last year I attended a wedding where the bride was one of my best friends, I got her at LEAST 5 different nice/expensive gifts, no "thank you" notes for any of them, and not really any mention of one. =/ But she came to and sort-of planned my baby shower a few months later, has given them numerous small gifts over their 9 months, and I guess that kind-of makes up for it. I always send out "thank you" cards, but after my baby shower, it took me about 2 months to get them all out. But all people are different, and I guess its really the spirit of giving that counts.

I am always pretty good about the thank you cards, but after having a baby especially if it is the first one, ya kind of just want 20 minutes of peace and quiet. Yes, it would be nice to have a thank you for the gift but do not expect one. When my hubby's cousin's wife had their 1st baby, we sent them a package, but did not get a thank you card. It would have been nice to know, even a phone call, but I just dropped it.

Unfortunately thankyou notes seem to be a thing of the past. It's sad, because I'm sure people put alot of thought into getting just the right present, and would like to know if it was appreciated, or if even received by mail. Maybe the cost of stamps, or just not being raised to know that the correct thing to do is aknowledge the gift are why society has changed.

Don't take it personally M.. Most people don't send thank you cards. I know you have a good heart but you should never give anything & expect something in return. Just remember the joy of giving & don't look for the reward in other humans. God will reward you in other ways.

I think a "did you receive the gift?" call is in order. Perhaps they did not receive them.

I know a lot of responses said that thank you notes are "a thing of the past", but that is ridiculous! If someone takes the time, money and effort to buy you a gift, the least the recipient should do is write a quick note. If someone has time to open and use the gift, they have time to write a note. A phone call would have been something, but to totally blow you off is terrible, especially since the gifts were mailed. We need to hang on to some common courtesy in this fast paced world. I wonder if the people that don't have time know what was on TV last night. Perhaps they could find a minute if they really tried.

I sent out over 120 thank you notes when I had my baby last summer. They all went out within a week of receiving the gifts. Luckilly most gifts were received before the baby was born, but they ALL got a timely note.

If it is their first baby they way still be feeling a bit overwhelmed and haven't gotten around to it yet.

Another possibility is that they were never taught that etiquette. I know my parents weren't big on thank you cards or anything like that. It bugs me now, of course, but I didn't think anything of it until I had friends who were wonderful and sent thank yous for everything. I would just let it go for now, and if they send you something or invite you over or whatever be sure to send a 'thank you' shortly after to set a good example. Without the good example of my friends I never would have known any better.

Dear M.,
I completely agree with you... you at least need acknowlegement that the gifts were received!!! Those are wonderful gifts and I couldn't imagine receiving one and not thanking the giver! I purchased a gift for a co-worker of my husband when she had a baby and I never heard a word back - and it really hurt my feelings (and it wasn't near as nice as yours)! Maybe you could ask your husband to just verify with the 2 Dad's that the gift was in fact received (you never know!). Hopefully the guilt will remind them to thank you, if not, you just have to go on and try not to let it bother you! Some people just aren't good with Thank you notes, which is no excuse, but you may see one show up later (some people are just really late getting around to them, especially with new babies)! I don't think a "tell your wife Thank you" is acceptable either but would be better than NOTHING! K.

Well, I disagree with many here, I understand you should give a gift and not expect anything in return. BUT I just find that people dont care any more about sending thankyous. They use being BUSY as an excuse and the fact is that the person who BOUGHT the gift is NO LESS BUSY than the person they gave it to. So if they can take the time to go get a gift, wrap it and bring it or mail it to you then the least one could do is write a 2 sentence thank you note and drop it in the mail. Its just the right thing to do and if you want a gift you should be prepared to send a thank you for it.
I have 3 boys under 5 year old and ALWAYS send thankyous the monday after a party or the day after I get a gift. No later than one week. I am very busy but respect that the person who gave me the gift was just as busy.

I think you should send a thank you for any gift and I find that people just don't do it any more. It seems the Entitlement attitude has crossed over to adults as well as the kids now days. Especially with a custom gift. That took time, thought and they are not cheap. so a thank you is a must and six months is way to long to wait. However, I don't really know what you could do about it. I think you could send a note saying "just making sure you got the bag I have not heard from you lately and I was worried it got lost" that will make her realize she did not send a thank you and hopefull she will learn her lesson.

I also find that many people don't RSVP any more either and I think that is rude as well. I run a party company and clients tell me al lthe time that nobody RSVPs any more and that is so frustrating for somebody who took the time to invite someone to a party.

Good luck with that
A. J
www.celebritypartyfavors.com

M.,
You deserve a thank you. Doing something for someone is a very sweet gesture. So, what you need to do, is have a tea time or maybe a brunch and invite them over. Tell them you just wanted to meet them and to see if that was ok for you to send them a gift. Sometimes it will help and they will remember, Oh I forgot to say thank you. If they don't say it after that, then they are spoiled and think everyone owes them. It's sad that there are people out there like that. No matter what you do for them, they will not say Thank you.. But just casually mention the things you got. Like "Was that the right color. I didn't know what your color theme was, but I hope it worked out alright." Sometimes it may sound like a hint, but also it sounds like a concerned person...

I think you should have gotten a Thank You, but you shouldn't let it get to you. If I were you I wouldn't call or go see them, just email and in your "nicest" and "sweetest" words act like an airhead and ask them if they received your gift, because if it didn't get there you will see what happened and why the manufacture didn't get it to them "hint, hint". I know I have the mean streak, but I only use it for good.

While it's polite to send thank you notes, and especially nice to receive them not getting one is not worth getting bent out of shape about.

As for your friends, they may just be busy with the kids. Some require more attention than others, esp. if they're balancing jobs and other children too, or if there are any special needs children in the family, or if emergency have come up recently. Also, they may not have money for stamps or have had an opportunity to go out, get cards and get 'em addressed and mailed. I know it was more than 6 months before I got all of mine done after my son was born. I got a good start, but ran out of stamps, cards and time. That first year or so is chaotic.

Now days, most folks don't feel it's necesarry to send thank cards. or sometimes it just takes a while to get all of them out.

Also, you mailed them. Have you received confirmation they got the gifts? Perhaps they didn't arrive? Things in this age do still get lost in the mail — your thank you note included. did you check the addresses and make sure yours was included in a card or somewhere other than the mailing box?

Also, the point of giving is to do something nice for others, not to shine a light on you that says, "ooh, look at me and what I did."

If it's still bothering you, call and find out if they got it already!

I'd give them a break. With a new baby, things can get hectic. I admit I've been guilty about forgetting thank you notes. My son's birthday was December 15th. On the 17th, he got very sick and we spent the whole week at the doctor's office having breathing treatments / x-rays, etc. getting better just in time for the holidays. It wasn't until late January when I found the package of thank you notes I'd never sent that I realized I'd forgotten to send them. Sometimes things happen. Maybe the baby is collicky or sick, or they are just having a harder time adjusting to parenthood. Personally, the only time I'd like a thank you note is if a gift is mailed and then it's only to make sure it got there. If I give a gift in person and they say thank you then, it's good enough for me. Maybe you could have your husband just ask to see if it got there? Otherwise, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, but that's just me.

I do still make my kids write thank yous for all gifts...to me it is not looking for praise but just good manners. If thank you notes go away, will we gradually stop saying thank you all together.

However, I have read before that with both new babies and a marriage that proper ettiquite is one year after receipt of the gift for thank yous.

Maybe they gave them to their husbands to give to your husband who was supposed to give it to you. I recently sent a thank you note with my husband to work for a co-worker of his,who I didn't know, or have an address for and about a month later I happened upon the thank you note still in his truck. Maybe the same is true for these wives. While I always write thank you notes, I have learned not to be offended when others don't. You are a very generous gift giver and I'm sure the gifts were appreciated!!!!

I agree with Kara. I could understand getting a little agitated that your gift SEEMS to have gone unnoticed, but just chalk it up to this: you did right by your husband's friends, and she IS going to be really busy and tired. When my son was born, I struggled so hard to breastfeed him but he'd been spoiled to the bottle for 2 weeks before he came home from the hospital...so I spent 30 minutes pumping, then 40 minutes feeding him, plus the diapers and "stuff", so that I only got sleep in 45 minute increments every 3 hours! PLUS he had bad problems with acid reflux and spitting up. I was a zombie for 6 weeks. If it really bothers you that you didn't get a thank you note, you can take a moment to write a thank you note to your OWN mom or grandma or whoever it was that raised you correctly. Truly, etiquette and signs of appreciation are going away; a lot of people don't understand. That's what I've done before: when someone upsets me for something I think should be common sense, I realize that common sense ISN'T common at all and I send flowers or a little card to my mom. But do cut the new mom a break.

Since you mailed the gifts, you could always call (or have your husband mention it to the new dads) and indicate that you had not heard from them and wanted to make sure the gift arrived. It's possible that the gifts took longer than expected to get to them and time may have slipped by with the new baby.

And, while I agree that cards are becoming a thing of the past, it IS proper to thank the gift giver in some way -- card, e-mail, phone call, something.

M.,

first, i want to let you know that i understand how you feel about the thank you notes. i have always tried to be really good about sending personalized notes too.

however, not everyone was raised to know how important it is to do that.

also, remember that having a young infant is very time consuming and overwhelming at times. when my husband and i got married, i had all my thank you notes out by our 2 month anniversary. but when we had emma (our first little one), i got all the thank you's from my first shower out, but then it was so close to delivery my hands were swollen, so i thought i'd wait until after emma was born. even after she was born, the gifts kept flowing in and i just couldn't keep up with it all. i still have a list in my coffee table drawer of all the gifts i received that i have yet to write thank you notes for. i think also, that i had ever intention of writing them, and when i would get time, i would knock a few out, but the first several weeks are so hard. so then, as more and more time went by without me sending a thank you note, i felt bad, and felt like it was too late to send one. your friends might be feeling that. especially since it's been 2 months or so. they might feel embarrassed that they haven't sent one and feel like its too late to politely do it now.

just be sure to remember that as much as a thank you is polite and feels good... it feels even better to do something as sweet and as thoughtful as a personalized gift. just the fact that you were able to do something kind for someone should be enough, right? i'm sure they loved their gift. i think that that's all that really matters.

i hope this helps!
have a great day!
S.

I have noticed in this day and age that manners are just flying right out the window. It is so sad too. I am 33 years old and I KNOW that you should always send thank you cards for gifts especially wedding showers, baby showers etc. I havent always received thank you cards for gifts I have given. All I can say is....lets try to teach our children to be grateful and have good manners. Lets try to get good etiquette back into this world! It can start with us again! I am sad to see all of the responses of mothers saying they are or were to busy. I have a 7 month old son who has been a handful from the day he was born but I still got all of the thank you cards out! That was with only having maybe 3 hours of sleep a day and losing my mind!! I still did it! It only takes a minute to write one out! I also sent out all of the birth announcements. I guess its just really up to the person on how important it is. I feel blessed to have friends that would take time to go get my baby a present and will always want them to know they are appreciated!

Give with the expectation of NOTHING in return. I am certain you saw those totes and thought, what a great gift. I'm thinking you probably didn't look at them and say, this will be better than everyone else's gift and I'll be special and they'll erect statues in my honor in their front yard.

Flippant I know, but when you have a wee one in the house, changing clothes and bathing is a luxury.

If you're really all that worried about it, the next time you see the wives, ask them if they liked the totes. Whether it be a year or 2 months down the road. Simply say, I really hoped you liked what I got you, I didn't really know what you needed...

Odds are...you'll get all the accolades and validation you need.

And if I may be so bold...I have 2 sets of thank you cards...ONE from my shower...and ONE from his first birthday...I still haven't sent them. I try and make sure I give all the thanks I can when they're there with me and try and be as gracious as I can be. But I work full time and my son's are 19 yrs old and 14mos (with a 15 yr old daughter) so, sending out thank you's, however important, is at the bottom of my "to do" list.

Smiles to you. Great gift idea BTW.

My husband has a circle of friends where this sort of thing happens all the time. The story usually goes like this:

1) Wife sends very thoughtful gift to other couple

2) Wife of other couple receives gift, is thrilled, and tells her husband to make sure to say thank you and schedule a dinner or something so other couple can take the couple who sent the gift.

3) Other husband calls husband and they start talking about whatever it is husbands talk about and forgets to mention it. Often he wonders why his wife keeps asking if he had made dinner plans with the couple yet.

I would suggest calling the wife directly and saying something like "I just wanted to be sure you received the gift. I thought it would be perfect for..." Chances are she will wonder why her husband never talked to your husband and they two of you can plan a get-together so you can get to know each other better.

I love our men but when it comes to friendships they seem to care about different things than the ladies do. After a couple years of this we finally started going directly to the other women.

I vote for giving them a break. I have two sets of twins and I have to say that I was overwhelmed with the job of taking care of them and trying to keep up with everyday responsibilities. I had been a more than full time working mom before childbirth, having worked until 8:30 the night before birth with the first set, and I had absolutely no idea what I was in for when the children were born. I was not prepared and I was tired and I barely got bills paid - and there were the millions of insurance forms and misfilings and all that to deal with. And so many gifts. And I truly appreciated all the gifts and I had the best of intentions and I just never got it done. And I truly felt guilty all the time. With the second set of twins I honestly tried to get people not to give just because I was afraid I could not get the thank your cards done. I did try to call and let them know my appreciation, but sending out those cards just did not happen. Maybe the friends should be better, and obviously you were able to handle that task, but you don't know what their situation is. Maybe they have no help, no relative, maybe they are overwhelmed, who knows. I'm sure they would like to do the right thing and they just can't. But they may come later; I have received thank you notes months after children were born. On the same note, I have been known to send presents months, even a year once, after children are born...it's the thought that counts, right?

M. I had the very same thing happen. My husband's cousin was expecting her first baby. I sent her a beautiful handmade blanket, and several monogrammed burp cloths. When her baby was about 5 or 6 months old and I hadn't heard from her I began to worry that she didn't receive the gifts. I also heard that prior to the birth there was a baby shower of which I didn't receive an invitation. It was really bugging me because I just couldn't put two and two together, it all seemed out of character for the situation.
Finally, when the baby was about 7 mos old, I received a phone call from the new mom who apologized profusely because she had an old address for me. She promptly sent me pictures and a thank you note.
All that said, these women may not know how to get in touch with you to call and say thanks or even send a note. Especially if they are waiting for the information from their husband(s). You may want to just have your husband ask about the gifts'just to make sure they received the items, and didn't get lost in the shuffle'.
Otherwise just chalk it up to an oversight or bad manners and move on.

I do not think you are being too picky at all! I have always written thank you notes...even for small gestures. I have taught my seven year old daughter to do the same. However, I don't know if it just not the thing to do in our culture any more. I RARELY receive a thank you note. To me, it is a matter of having the courtesy to say thank you...even if it is something small. If I were you, I would not get my hopes up that you will receive a thank you note at this point. I don't know if this helped you, but I will continue writing my thank you notes. Take care.
K. N.

having just had a baby...time just seems to get away from you. i was so tired, worn out, forgetful, you name it. i think i finally got to all the thank you notes by the time my baby was 5 months. give them a little more time, they might surprise you.

As Amber said, I don't think we should ever expect a thank you note. Yes, it is the polite and appropriate thing to send one, but unfortunately many people don't or at least they don't put a high priority on it. Someone else also mentioned that it could well be how the men act. As much as it is sad that women are starting to not send Thank you notes as much, men are far far worse about it. Your gifts were probably very appreciated my the wives and they most likely asked their husbands to take care of the thank you notes since they are the ones who are friends. I always ask my husband to write the thank you notes to his friends and coworkers who send gifts and yes, I have caught him from time to time NOT doing it. I was horrified one time to find 4 blank thank you notes that I had specifically given him to write and send just stuffed in the back of his desk. Besides, new parents are always so busy. Give them a break; but sure it is perfectly appropriate to have your hubby ask if they were received.

a thankyou note would be appropriate but we cannot control other people. & when you are a new mom it is hard to keep up with everything & sometimes things get forgotten or never done. i dont think that you should get too worked up, i am sure they appreciated your gift, but people are so busy & also some are not taught as well as we have been so dont fret over it!

As you know with new babies sometimes even the simplest of things - like washing your hair or putting on makeup.

perhaps a quick note from you just to make sure they received the totes will be enough of a reminder to let them know they should at least acknowledge the gift. If not then chaulk it up to not knowing any better.

A gift is not given expecting a thank you, but the person receiving the gift should acknowledge the receipt in some way. A thank you note is always nice (and the proper thing to do), but a phone call letting you know that the gift has been received would also be ok. I understand that both of these families are busy with new borns, but that is no excuse for rudeness. I would give both families a call and just say you were wanting to make sure the totes were received. After all, if they weren't, you will be the one that has to start the trace with the postal service.

I think this is something that has died out. It seems that there are certain areas of the country that still do this sort of thing. Most of the time, people just pick up the phone or email thank yous. As one posted mentioned, times have changed and thank yous and manners start at home and are practiced daily. Please don't beat yourself up about it. If you still want to know if they received the gifts, call direct and speak with the wife and cut out the husband. Who knows, you might find a good friend in doing so.

Well M. I don't think you are over reacting at all!! Just because these ladies had a baby does not mean that they should illiminate their manners. There really isen't anything that you can do, you have to give from the heart and how the recipient behaves afterwards is their business. You just have to be the bigger person and move on- its been 2 months girl I wouldn't hold your breath! But I do sympathize with you! Its always nice to know what you do for others is atleast some what appreciated, especially after you went through the trouble to get them such nice gifts. I don't think we should ever be too busy to give others common courtesy!

In today's society, people aren't as etiquette friendly as they used to be. I am not trying to excuse the two that haven't sent thank you's, however you might give them a little more time (I'm still working on thank you's for my wedding that was 9 months ago). Or, since you said you ordered the gifts - did you have them delivered to their home? If so, a phone call to make sure that they were received might prompt (at least) a verbal thank you.

No, you are not being too picky. I lost a really good friend, she thought I was too "stuck on myself" to say thank you, turns out, I did not receive her gift!! So, not only did I not get her gift, but I lost her frendship too! Just a quick phone call to let people know you received something is all I need, you don't have to write it out, but at least acknoledge the gift, common curtesy!

I think if you give a gift with the expectation of being thanked, it kind of mars the gift giving itself, if it's truly a gift & not something you just want to be recognized for. Make sense? Also, you said yourself that these ladies have just had babies; I know when my children have been born I can barely remember to put deoderant on over my unwashed underarms, much less write a note & actually put it in the mail! ;)

A lot of times I forget to send Thank You notes. It's always on my mind to go to the store and get some Thank You cards, but either I don't have the time or I simply forget. I think someone with babies would be in a worse situation, they have so many things going on. Sometimes when I end up seeing the person that gave us something, I remember and say Thank You in person even if it's been years. Even if you don't show it, you never forget when someone does something nice for you. Personally, when I send or give someone something, I just want them to enjoy it, I never expect a Thank you card or a phone call, it doesn't offend me. I have to tell you though that I am so glad you brought up the question because I never want to offend someone else, I didn't realize how bad it is to forget to thank people, and I'm probably raising my kids to also forget to say it. I will go to the store today and stock up on Thank You cards and stamps...if I don't forget. Thanks.

Before I had kids (and really even after I had my first child), I always sent thank you's in a totally timely manner. Unfortunately, I can honestly say that things have been so CRAZY for us lately it has fallen to the way side. We have been dealing with major health issues with both of our children and although I always used to think, "It only takes a minute to write a thank you", the past year has TOTALLY changed my mind on that. I have a 4 year old with major health probelms, a 16 month old with newly diagnosed hearing issues and I am almost 5 months pregnant with #3. I am a taxi to the Dr.'s office on average 3-4 times per week in addition to just day to day stress. When I do have 10 minutes, I am so exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally that I often times just want to close my eyes and try to detox from my day instead of being productive. Just know that they are more than likely feeling crazed and overwhelmed. Don't take it personally. I think that gifts should come from the heart and not from an expectation of undying gratitude. I also believe that the world is changing - the ettiquette that was appropriate 20 years ago isn't always feasible today. People are stretched today for time - many mother's are working, husbands commuting or traveling a lot, expectations for children and activities are off the charts...people eat in their cars not at the dinner table...the world is a very different place. If I were you, I would feel good about sending such a nice gift and perhaps call the wives and see how they are holding up after having their new baby. There are a million GOOD reasons why they might not have sent a thank you...I would never mention it nor would I worry about it. In the grand scheme of things, is it really that big of a deal?

I think you sent them a very nice gift,but you should not expect anything in return. Hence giving is better than recieving. I am sure you want to be sure that they got the gift, so maybe you should have your husband ask. I have had 4 kids and while I always TRY to send thank you notes I am not the best at doing so, especially after having a baby.

Ummm...yes you are overreacting. I too am very good about sending thank-you's but not everyone is like that. I have a super good friend, more of a best friend, that did not send thank-yous or have thank-you gifts for her hostesses for her baby shower. Being her friend for so long I knew I wouldn't get one. Just how she is, she doesn't think of things like that. But one of the girls brought it up and asked where her gift was...it was funny and rude. No need to worry about it and get on with your life. ;)

First, if you are only wanting to find out if they actually received the gift, that's one thing. A phone call or having your husband ask his friends should clear up that issue fairly quickly. That's not what I gather is the concern from your post though.

To me, expecting a thank you note screams of a need for outward validation. You were nice. You were generous. You were giving. You gave a thoughtful gift. You know all of this already, right? Whether or not the recipient feels the same way, or tells you they feel that way, is really irrelevant. Do you really need to know what they thought about the gift, and if the answer is yes, do you really think they are going to be honest with you if they didn't like the gift? Would receiving a thank you note that may or may not be sincere make your efforts any more or less thoughtful?

It seems to me that by EXPECTING a thank you note, a person is either needing someone to tell them that what they did was a nice thing to make them feel better about their own efforts, or they are wanting to criticize someone else for not following proper etiquette in regards to gift giving and receiving. I think neither of these are in the true spirit of gift giving.

To me, thank you notes are nice and truly appreciated, and while it is proper etiquette to send them when you receive a gift, it is improper etiquette to expect them in return for giving a gift.

I am sure your gift was appreciated, but these people just had babies....think of how tired they are....not that big of a deal. I know we would all like thank you cards, but some people aren't as good as others about doing that...sister, move on!!

First of all...chill out...
There are things more important than a "Thank you" note...you have no idea what is going on their life...maybe she is sick, maybe the kids are sick all the time...maybe the marriage is falling apart...you said your self that you don't know them all that well...All i would do is call them yourself...and see if they got them...and then that's it...
If you know that they got them...then chalk that up as experience...
2nd...don't give a gift, if all your going to do is sit around and get bothered by not getting a thank you note...after all is'nt it about the giving.???
3rd also...just because you have it all together...may not mean that other mommy's out there do...she made need your help....reach out to her...
I've said enough...I do send Thank you notes...but i don't get upset if i don't get them....Life is not about me...