Which Cry It Out Method Worked for You?

it worked for us. In the beginning I sat in a chair in her room until she fell asleep. She wailed and cried, but I was right there. After a few nights I left earlier when she was awake. It's not easy, but I'm glad I did it. She's 2 1/2 and has slept in her bed every night since with no problems.

Hi SS - Amanda had great advice for you, especially the part about turning off the monitor.

I think it's a wise decision to ask for advice on how other moms helped their kids learn to get to sleep. I urge to consider what works best for your daughter's needs and personality, even if that means you don't do the official "cry it out" method. As moms we all share some common goals. One is to teach our kids to be able to express themselves and that they will be heard and trust that we will always be available to meet their needs.

I have 2 amazingly strong-willed boys and so I decided that I needed to "empower them" on this rather than just have them conform to my will. I realized even when they were babies that this was going to be a lifelong struggle.

Empower them was my first guideline. Other little rules I made up were that the crib was a safe and happy place - no exceptions. The last main one was that if they really "needed" me (ie: they hurt, they were scared or lonely, not just bored etc) that I would be there to help them no matter what.

Other practical things were that we used some of the techniques that people with insomnia use - no vigorous or stimulating activity 90 minutes before bed. No bright light or tv at least 1 hour before bed. Routines are incredibly important to our bodies cueing up for sleep. Follow your natural circadian rhythm for sleep (sleep cycles are about 90 minutes long - if we go to sleep during our wakeful time, it takes us a long time to get to sleep. If we set our alarms 30 minutes before the cycle is finished, we wake up really tired or hit the snooze)

My older son seemed to naturally want to sleep around 8:30 every night so we worked around that. Around 7-7:30 we turned off the TV, and turned off all but a few lamps etc. My hubby gave him a warm bath almost every night and then we'd just talk calmly during pajama time. We usually did the bedtime with him in the crib - we read a few of his favorite books and then turn out the lights and sing songs and stroke his head until he got really drowsy. I knew he was ready for me to leave because he would take in a deep breath and let out a little sigh - I'd say nightnight and leave the room.
We've had to modify that a little as they got older and transitioned into regular beds but truthfully that's about it.

You're going to laugh but we have a "no fights after nine" rule in our house. I cant get to sleep if I'm agitated or mad or whatever. I just apply the same rule to getting the kids to sleep - no fighting - make it a time to really connect and be something to which they can make a positive association.

S.S.,
What we did was plan for a stretch of about 4 nights and brace ourselves. We did nitlight and soft music on a CD playing on repeat in the room. We would go in and say "nite-nite" and pat back, etc but not pick him up out of his crib. We would repeat in 5 mins, then 10, then 15, etc. It was a rough couple of nights but he got it!
As for the teething, you might want to consider giving him Tylenol like, at bath time so it kick in by bedtime. You can give a Hyland Teething Tablet without picking him up out of the crib. Is he still waking to eat at night? If so, feed and re-dose, if necessary then repeat the above method.
Like I said, it was rough going, but once you decide to do it you kind of have to follow through the whole way, otherwise your soothing will seem unpredictable to him. Good luck!

I did the total extinction with my then 1 year old daughter. It was awful. She cried for 7 hours! But she too is very strong willed, and she was waking every 15 minutes through the night. I tried everything, but this was the only thing that got results. I was very against letting her cry it out at all, but finally reached a state of desperation because I was so sleep deprived. I waited until she was not teething or sick, and cried as long as she did. I put on my headphones and sat on the computer, crying, reading blogs of other moms at 2 am letting their babies cry it out, and told myself she needed it. My husband slept blissfully oblivious on the couch.

The second night she cried for an hour, and the third night for 7 minutes. No that we got through the initial period, (she is over 2), I do not leave her to cry more than a few minutes. It was awful, but a very necessary step in the healthy development of sleep for my child. I told myself that whatever I decided to do, I would stick with it for 3 days, and then I could abandon it if it was not working. I was afraid if I abandoned it at midnight, she would have the upper hand. She now sleeps through the night and only occasionally needs to be resettled after putting her to bed. Good luck to you, lack of sleep is a hard thing to go through. Whatever you decide to do, do not listen to anyone who might criticize. Only you can decide what is best/ and necessary for your child.

I don't know if you are having trouble getting your son to sleep, or with him waking up the middle of the night. If it's the first problem, I have lots of advice for you, but I don't have the time (or space) to address them both, so send me a personal message. The advice below is if your child is waking up in the middle of the night.

The first thing I did with my son when he woke up in the middle of the night was to turn off the monitor. Then, I only hear him when he's truly upset, not when he wakes up and fusses a bit or plays in his crib. My husband and I began by putting 1-2 board books into his crib with him at night, as well as a couple of pacis (in case he loses the one he has). Then, if he woke me up screaming, I would go into his room, replace the paci, and hold him for a few minutes. This gave me a chance to see if he was a) scared, b) possibly in pain from teething or sick somehow, or c) awake and wanted me to be awake with him. If the answer was a or b, I would give him Tylenol, hold and cuddle him, maybe play some music, etc. However, almost always, the answer was c. So after about 5 minutes of holding him, I would put him back in his crib with his paci, give him kisses and love, and then walk out and shut his door behind me so that I couldn't hear him crying anymore, and I could go back to sleep, whether or not he did. If he really really screamed (so that I could still hear him), I would go back into his room every half hour or so to soothe him and lay him back down, but I never picked him up again. This method took care of night-time wake-ups probably within two weeks. Sometimes he still wakes up in the middle of the night, but he has his books to entertain himself for a while, and he doesn't usually call for me. If he does, these days, I know there is something wrong. The answer is almost never c anymore, and everyone in the family gets more sleep.

Good luck.

I did Babywise, but it was with a much younger child. They do say that it can work for any age, and there is online support as well if you have questions. I gave myself a long weekend starting on a Thursday night, and it took 3 days. Yes, your baby is going to be teething for quite some time. I would recommend some Tylenol/Motrin before bed, and give it a go. Just be consistent, whatever you do.

Oh, and be ready to cry too! Just don't be in the same room as the baby. Allow yourself to hear him, but softly, with headphones, or as far away as possible, and entertain yourself, or you will give in.

Hi, I did "cry it out" and it actually worked. but wait until you think the baby is not teething any more, i.e. let the fussiness and irritability pass before you start "cry it out". And of course, they will continue to get more teeth but establishing good sleep pattern is critical foundation, regardless of teething episodes.....Anyways, as for "cry it out", don't expect 3 times a charm as some say. It took almost 7 straight days before my baby slept a full 10 hours straight. I did it at around 4.5 months so you should definitely do it now. The older your baby, the harder it will be (not to mention the louder the crying will be and harder to tough out). I didn't follow "the book", just did a modified version of it. First time she cries, leave it dark and go in but DO NOT pick her up. Just rub her tummy ro sides of tummy or her head (whatever comforts her) and say "it's ok, mommy's here" over and over until she setlltes down. Leave quickly. She will cry right away when she realizes you're gone. Let her cry 10 mins. Go back and do same thing. Let her cry 20 minutes. Repeat. Let her cry 30 minutes. Keep going. Keep trying to let her cry it out longer and longer after each time you go in. It will be hellish, so don't expect anything less. Our duaghter cried for 2 hrs straight once before finally falling asleep out of exhaustion basically. Night #2 was a repeat episode. (my husband was doubting it was working) Be persistent. Night #3, she fell asleep sooner, only crying about 45 minutes tops before falling back asleep. The amount of time she cried lessened each night when finally, by night 6, she actually didn't wake up (if she did, I didn't know about it!) and slept until 6am! A whole 10 hrs!

Good luck. LIke I said, it is really hard to let your baby cry and you'll wonder if it's even working. Just be persistent and consistent. Babies thrive on repetition and routine and you need to help them get there by being consistent. If you give up pick them up out of the crib, you've just started from square 1 all over again.

BTW, the pediatricians say after 3 months old, they really do not need a bottle during the night time - they are physically able to go without for 9-10 hrs straight. I thought I was being cruel at firs, depriving her of the 3 am bottle, but after "cry it out" worked, I realized the ped was right! She no longer woke up for milk.

For the teething, give tylenol right before bed time. that will help with sleep, too.

I would wait until the teething passes. Teeth normally come in 2 at a time, so when those are in, do CIO. I liked the Ferber method (go in after 5 minutes, then 10, then 15, etc). That way I felt like I was reassuring my daughter, even if she didn't get what she wanted. I went in, said "I love you, I'm so sorry you're sad, it's time to go to bed now." I would also rub her back and such, but wouldn't pick her up. This has worked for lots of people I know, but some kids get more riled up by the going in and out - it's trial and error. My daughter was always very verbal, and she was actually a little older than your son, so I knew she understood what I was saying. Good luck. It's not fun, but it was a pretty amazing and wonderful change.