My fiance and I are differing on who should be invited to our daughter's after Baptism celebration. I believe only immediate family of ours and the Godparents. He thinks we should invite the WHOLE family.
I think I may not have made myself clear...I only want to invite selected family & friends to the Church and the after party. I'm getting quite a few answers that say whomever I invite to Church should be invited to the party, and that is my intention. I didn't plan on inviting the whole family to church, so my thought was, why invite them to the party?
Yes, we're paying out of pocket and $ is an issue right now, since I've been out of work for 3 months; we're looking at American Legions, VFW's or K of C's. Any suggestions from anyone where to hold it?
Thanks, again, for all of your input!
I just want to thank everyone for their input. We've decided that the whole family is just TOO much and are going to invite immediate family, Godparents, parents and family of Godparents and our Godchild and his parents. That's already 50 people, so you understand what my dilemma was. Since she's a June baby, her 1st birthday will be a blowout.
I'm so glad I found this site! It's been so nice to "talk" to other mommies and get different advice and perspectives! It's been a livesaver, and I'm sure it will be for many years to come!
We invited everyone when my son was born. Not everyone showed up, but we still invited everyone. It's a joyous occasion, why not share it with everyone?
Hi S.,
I had two Baptism, I would invite the people who went to the ceremony. If you can afford it. I think people would understand if you can't.
Hi S.,
I would say the appropriate thing to do is invite anyone that you're inviting to the ceremony. There could be hurt feelings and emerging issues that aren't worth the aggrevation.
We're having our daughter's christening in a few weeks and had to invite 85 people just to appease both sides of the family. (We both have large families) We're hoping that one of the parents will help us pick up the tab. (crossing my fingers)
Have a wonderful day!
A.
In our family, as well as my husbands, when a child is baptized the whole family is invited to the church and the party afterwards. It sounds like that may be the way it is in your husbands family also. I would invite everyone so as not to hurt anyones feelings. It's a good way for any family members that haven't seen the baby yet to meet her, and to get them involved, in a small way, into the baby's life. Some day she will be able to look at the pictures of great aunt Millie holding her or uncle Ted and cousin Mikey making silly faces at her and know that right from the start she was part of a big family that loves her.
Hi S.,
Are you inviting the entire family to the ceremony? I would invite whomever is invited to the ceremony to the party. If you haven't sent the invitations yet, consider what type of celebration you would like and how many you can afford to host at that type of celebration. Think about the guest list and what you can afford to host for the amount of people that you (and fiance) would like to have. He may not be thinking about the cost - be sure to let him know what the party will cost per person - what it would cost total for just the immedidate family and what it would cost for 3 times that many people. Good luck in planning a wonderful celebration.
Good luck in preparing to go back to work. You get through it! The first time I went back at 8 weeks and was glad to be back at work, the transition was pretty easy. The 2nd time it was 11 weeks and not as easy. I hope everything goes smoothly for you!
I would invite everyone you are inviting to the actual baptism. If you invite only immediate family to that, you should only invite immediate family to the celebration. By the way, I am sure your going to get not-so-nice comments about going back to work. From one working mother to another, its hard, but it will get easier. Dont worry. Its hard to leave them. The trick is to have a daycare, person, or place that you truly LOVE. It makes it sooo much easier. Good luck.
If you can hold it at a local park. If money is a problem ask people if they would be willing to make a dish to bring. We had ours at a park this way the kids in the family had something to do. We also asked some family and friends to make something to contibute to the food table. You will be surprised how many people want to help out. This way there will be a variety of food there. As for the church you do not have to invite everyone. Most people feel that is a family thing anyway. We had 60 people at the party afterwards and only about 15 people actually came to the church. Hope this helps. Good luck and congrats!
I believe that it should be the godparents and immediate family. So I am on board with you. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, great-grandparents. Those family members. There is no reason for the whole family to be there. Most likely the whole family won't be at the church.
When my son was dedicated it was done in front of the congregation and only a select few of my family attended. His grandparents are his god parents and my step-sister who he was close to. I did not invite my other step-siblings. They don't come to church so why have them come then. I don't knos I may be rude in the situation but hey.
Anyways I agree with you on this matter. A baptism is a special time and should be a intimate gathering. I can bet you that at 9 weeks old she is gonna eat, sleep and poop and not care who is there honestly. The party is more for you all to celebrate her entrance into God's Kingdom.
I tend to agree with you but there is no right or wrong here. I tend to think it all depends on what you can afford and the work you are willing to put into it.
Are you having it at home, church, restaurant, or catering hall?? Food and Beverages, will you be doing your own cooking or will you hire a caterer??
My suggestion is: Start by both of you making your own guest list...then get an estimate for the celebration for the amount of guests on both lists.
Are you spliting the ($) equally or is it coming out of one pocket???
If it's not one pocket, decide on what you are willing to spend. If he still wants to invite the world, ask him if he's willing to pay beyond what you can afford.
If Money isn't the issue, then do it his way and enjoy yourself.
I would invite the entire family!
I go with your husband, definitely!
I think that anyone who is at the baptism should be invited to the post-celebration. Otherwise it would be awkward after the ceremony with those people who are 'invited' leaving to go together and those who were 'uninvited' just heading off by themselves. Think how YOU would feel!
It's sort of like at a wedding or a funeral service......If you've been invited to the religious ceremony, you are also automatically invited to the reception afterward.
And the whole idea of Baptism is that the person is being received into the Body of Christ. It is a WELCOMING celebration. To NOT invite those who have taken time to attend this event, is a very UN-WELCOMING gesture.
If money is the issue, scaling down the post-Baptism celebration would be the way to go. I think you'll be happy in the end if you go with a less-expensive post-Baptism celebration with everyone present, versus a smaller, but more upscale event.
Good luck and happy Christening!
I agree with Marcie B--just invite everyone and scale it down however you have to based on your $$ situation. I have experienced how a family event like a Baptism can ruin relationships--it's not worth it. Even spending a few extra dollars is worth it to avoid a bad family situation--that's stress for life! Good luck!
Hi S., Your daughter's Baptism is a wonderful reason to celebrate. I come from a big Italian family where everyone is invited to everything. Unless it is a financial issue, invite as many as you can and enjoy!
hi S.,
I agree with your husband. It's a once in a lifetime thing and I would want both of our families to be there. If you can't afford a huge thing, have a simple luncheon or have something at the house. GL!
baptisms & first birthday can be tricky... if not inviting his whole family is going to cause problem later, just do it. people get really weird about things like this.
If you only want certain people to attend the after baptism celebration then those are the only ones who should be invited to the church. I feel it would be rude to invite people to the church and then not invite them to dinner afterwards.
Who you invite is up to you. Believe me I know it all gets to be very expensive so keeping it small is very much ok. If you are like me from an ethnic background, (Greek) then the family expects a big celebration. We tried to keep both of our boy's baptism's small but we always ended up with 100 people.
I envy those who only do a small dinner afterwards.....but just remember those who you want to come to the dinner should be the only ones invited to the church. This way there are no hurt feelings. ;)
Congratulations on your baby and baptism.
I say the whole family, definitely. In my opinion, baptism is welcoming the baby into God's family, the whole family here is this child's family of God, if you know what I mean. WHen you're pregnant only women are invited to the shower. As the kids grow up, birthday parties every year are the immediate family. But this the one opccasion, besides this child'd wedding, that the whole family should be there to welcomr them and meet them and witness the beauty and the love of a family with a new baby. Go for it!! What are you afraid of? Why so you think you want to limit the guests? If it's too much money for the party or something, I can understand that. But all else being equal, invite everyone.
We thought this out as well and decided to have the christening a more intimate event w/ the immediate family, godparents & our nieces & nephews (our son's 1st cousins & aunts & uncles only.
For our sons 1st birthday we had more of an extensive invite for extended family we are closer with & friends in addition to the above.
We figured most would expect the 1st birthday invite and we felt that not everyone shared our religious intimacy.
