Christening...What To Do?? PLEASE HELP!

just so you know, for Catholics its a baptism not a christening. You baptize a baby, you christen a boat.

If you're Catholic, you're talking about baptizing your infant. It's a big deal. Most Catholic parishes won't even let you do a private baptism (just you and your husband) because it IS a big thing like a wedding ... it's a sacrament, and it will probably be done during a mass in front of the parish.

Also, you'll have to take a class (usually just one evening) and then during the ceremony, you have to say out loud, in front of everyone that you believe in the teachings of the Catholic Church, want to raise your child in the faith etc... and your chosen Godparents will have to attest that they will take responsibility for helping you do that.

If you don't actually believe the words you're saying, or intend to follow through with the promises you make about your child during the ceremony, I think you run the risk of disrespecting the other families having their children baptized at the same time.

You wouldn't have a wedding if you didn't plan to live as a married person, so why baptize your baby if you don't plan to live as Catholics?

Do what feels right for you. (maybe call your local Catholic church and ask to talk to their baptism coordinator about this... (s)he may be able to give you some insight that will help you make a choice that is right for you family).

Just my two cents worth. Hope it helps.
T.

I think you should not have it unless you really want it and believe in it. It is not up to your families to decide how to raise your kids.

I have to agree with Thea:
"You wouldn't have a wedding if you didn't plan to live as a married person, so why baptize your baby if you don't plan to live as Catholics?"

Are you doing this for you...or for his family?

All I can suggest is: follow your heart.

I agree with Marci. Don't do it if you don't want to. My husband's side of the family is episcipalion and they do christenings. I'm non-denominational and I wanted to do a dedication instead. I'm sure my MIL wasn't thrilled about my decision, but they're MY kids, not hers.

Do what YOU want to do! This is your family now, and if you start letting his family dictate anything, it can set off a chain reaction for future events! If YOU want to get him christened with just the two of you, do so and explain that you wanted it to be an intimate moment between the three of you. If you don't want to do it at all, the next time they ask just say, "We've decided not to do it. It really doesn't mean anything to us and seems a bit disingenuous to do it since we're not really religious."

And I'm sorry -ANYONE who actually believes babies and children wouldn't go to heaven or who would say such a thing would happen if you didn't get your baby baptized or christened is stupid at best and mean-spirited at worst.

We were in a similar position. We finally went ahead and did it when our son was 8 months and most of our motivation was that my husband's aunt was dying and she had always been so supportive to our marriage and parenthood. We wanted to find any excuse to find something joyous for her to celebrate...

We went to my childhood church tho I was by no stretch a member anymore. My husband was a non-practicing/non-believing Catholic and so this decision rubbed his family the wrong way...At least a little bit. We too have a small house. But we held it in July so we could use the patio. And the church also encouraged us to hold a mini-party/social hour after church so that people who didn't want to or that were more distant family/friends could celebrate but not join us at our house later.

I kind of went through the same thing before my son was even born last year ... not from my family but from my husband's. I grew up in a Christian home and grew up going to non-denominational churches where we believe that baptising is something that you do AFTER you have put your trust in Christ kind of as a symbol that you are leaving the old life behind and starting anew. It is not mandatory to get into heaven. My husband's family however, are very big believers in baptising as children. I simply explained to them whenever asked my convictions about it. I cannot choose my son's faith. If he is to ever be baptized I want it to because HE was personally convicted to do it because HE developed a personal relationship with Christ when he is old enough to understand in order to do so. Some may not understand but others were really good about it. But definitely don't do it because you feel pressured to do so!

This is a great question. We are bapitizing our daughter in July and she will be 15 months old. My husband's family are devote Catholics and I am not and my husband doesn't practice. We have decided to go with my church since I am more involved and we both feel comfortable there. We though his family would be upset but they haven't said anything except they are excited for the event. Right now we are trying to figure out what to do about the reception because his family does expect there to be a party but I am partied out. We just had her first birthday party. I think we are going to make brunch reservations and call it a "dutch treat." That means everyone pays for themselves. We can't afford to through another big party plus it is Father's day so we didn't want to do something cheap due to the fact we can't afford it.

The thing with baptism is, especially in the Catholic Church, that if you're going to baptize your child you are saying that you are going to raise him Catholic. That you are going to raise him in the faith... to know, love, and serve God. If you have no intention of bringing him up in the faith, then you have to ask yourself why would you be baptizing him. If you believe, as the Church does, that you MUST be baptized to get to heaven, then surely baptize him. Also, why don't you practice your faith??? Maybe speaking with your local parish priest and getting some questions answered would help you come back to the Church. I'll say a prayer for you and your family.
For people making comments that baptism of infants is not in the bible I would say that the bible makes references to ENTIRE families being baptized. Why would someone assume that means everyone except the babies??? Also, it says in the bible that being baptized my water and the Spirit is a MUST for eternal salvation. (I don't the the verse off the top of my head). It says that ALL must be baptized. That's why the apostles and early church went to the ends of the earth preaching the gospel and baptizing. If it weren't a necessity why do it??

Hey my personal opinion is that you should only baptize them in the church if you are planning to raise them in the church, as you do make certain promises to that effect as parents during the baptism.

Although the Catholic Church teaches that it is best for infants to be baptized they also teach that "infants who die without baptism are entrusted .... to the mercy of God.... The principle that God desires the salvation of all people gives rise to the hope that there is a path to salvation for infants who die without baptism."

http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/ct...

Okay, what it says in the Bible is to repent and be baptized, he that believeth and is baptized is saved, be baptized to wash away your sins, none of which a baby can or needs to do. I cannot see any where (and I have searched) that says that babies or children will go to H*#@ if they are not baptized. You are not a bad person for letting your child choose for himself, that what God wants us to do and why we have choices to make. You are not terrible for not wanting to do anything after. This is your life, your husbands life and your child's life-other opinions shouldn't matter. Just tell them your not going to and that the end of the conversation!

Obviously you are more worried about what family thinks rather than the actual baptism. Just hold tight and have a first birthday blowout.

Agree with everyone else. Why are you letting someone else dictate how you raise your children? It's ridiculous that you would succumb to the pressure of his family for your children. It is as big a deal as Thea described it, so if you are not practicing Catholics, what is the point?

My husband does not believe in Christenings, so we did something called a Dedication, in which our minister blessed our son and welcomed him into the congregation. Then we all went out for brunch afterward. Would that satisfy your father's family? If so, you might look into it.

Don't have a baptism unless you want to. Perhaps this may be an opportunity for you and your husband to talk about whether you plan to have any religion in your child's life. I also am Catholic but my husband is not. In my young adulthood and early marriage I also did not practice. In the end though I wanted religion to be part of my childrens lives; thus our children were baptized and even eventually attended Catholic schools. On Sunday it is my noncatholic husband who most enjoys church. Anyhow, there is no right or wrong. But I think the Baptism or Christening is not really as important as figuring out how you will raise your child and how you intend to promote goodness and values in his life.

Have the small christening. Invite the grandparent, and God parents. Your child and your family unit have the right to be the kind of family you want to be. Getting the child christened is IMPORTANT. The party is not. Baptism is a SACRAMENT. Not an event. It is a personal decision. Not a family function. I come from a big family. Some are religious and most are not. I throwt big birthday parties. But sacred, religious, important things, and life events I am very selective with who I invite. No one will feel insulted if you only invite the people that matter in this event, Grandparents and God Parents. Do what is right for your family and the child. If you do not understand just how important getting the child baptised is. Ask your priest. God Bless

Dear Katri, I understand your situation. I am a practicing Catholic and do believe the Baptism is important but also know it must be followed by a committment to the faith. As a religion teacher I see so many kids who are enrolled in a program while parents do not practice (mixed message) With today's technology (internet) you could get the word out that you are (or are not ) having a Christening and are unable to have a party (not necessary) You need to make the decision for your son. Some day he will make his own. You may want to introduce him to something so he can have some faith to hang on to. I hope your life is good but there may come a day when you need God. Many Blessings, Grandma Mary

Follow your heart, if you are not religious then done have him christened. My last one wasn't and looking back I wish I hadn't had the other 4. We did it for our families, I was born catholic, my husband protestant, my family was upset the kids weren't baptized catholic and made it know. Both my husband and I don't support organized religion and my kids feel the same way, but down the road if they decide to choose one then that is fine with us. So again follow your heart and remember you can't please everyone so please yourselves first.
Hugs,
T.