Why Is My 2 Year Old Son Never Happy?

I would just take him to his room and say you can stay in here until you choose to be happy/nice. Then close the door and leave him there for a few minutes. Go back and ask him if he's ready to be happy/nice, if yes let him out, if not say ok I'll give you more time, then close the door again. If he tries to leave the room before he's happy/nice just put him back until he can be happy/nice. This puts the choice to be around everyone in his control and it is up to him to decide when he is ready to join everyone. If you're consistent this does work.

He just sounds like he cannot communicate, so he is totally frustrated. He may not even know why is is upset, angry or frustrated. All he knows is he is not happy at that moment. You need to help him figure it out a little bit.

Give him choices.. Also predict his responses.
If you are going to give him cheese, you know he will want more, so just cut the pieces of cheese and hold a few pieces back. If he asks politely for more, then give him another piece (he would have had anyway) and he will think he got his way,.

Instead of telling him no all of the time, redirect his attention..

Example he wants to play outside, but you are not ready for that.. Instead say," I need you to help me find the lost truck.". Then have him do a kind of hide and seek for his toy truck.. It takes away the outside situation for a little while.

I also used to give our daughter a heads up about stopping an activity.
"In 10 minutes, we are going to the store.." "We have 5 more minutes till we go to the store. Please pick a cereal bar to take as a snack."
"Please help mommy find her purse." "Do you want to take juice or water in your sippy cup?"

Also watch for his reactions and his state of mind and give him the words. "You look frustrated that it is raining outside." "You look angry because you want to play with sisters toys. Do you want a hug, or do you want to look for a toy out of your room?"

Then when he does hold it together, let him know you noticed.
"I like the way you were soft and gentle with sister."
" I like the way you helped me find my purse":
".Thank you for being patient while we wait in line."

You will feel like you are on stage narrating a play all day long, but all of these words are letting him know what he is feeling, what he should or could be doing.. You are giving him control.

Hang in there.. He will catch on very quickly..

I was just recently having this issue with my son. Everyone I mentioned it to including the doctor told me "Welcome to the terrible two's." But I wouldn't accept that. My son Parker just turned two in july and for about 5 months he's done nothing but yell hit scratch and just intentionally do things he knows he'll get into trouble for...for example he'll touch the knobs on the stove and smile at me knowing all to well he's going to get fussed at. I care for my niece and nephew on a daily basis and he was being extreemly mean to my 6 year old niece. Well no one had any answers and so I went online and did my own research.... I found out that the way a child acts has more to do with their sleep and food. Too much sleep can make them cranky just as well as too little. I pulled his naps and after about 3 days it was heaven in the house. Then I started to only give him meals with only one (not to junk foodish) snack inbetween meals. He eats breakfast at 8:30 and lunch at 1:00 so at about 10:30 he would get some crackers, goldfish or some kind of fruit. And I always put out three to let him choose so he feels like he has a say so in what he eats. This was a little harder because he wanted some things like cheeto's and junk that his father gave him. But it's been a month now and I can truely say I have my son back :). He still throws fits but what two year old doesn't? Just stick to your guns and if you feel it's more than terrible two's it's probably is so trust your gut :) Hope I helped!

Kimmie

The first Suppernanny book is awesome. Have you watched that show? It sounds like your son needs some serious disipline to teach him how to act properly. The naughty stool technique works great. Be sure to follow all of the steps every time. Some people say their kids won't stay on it but they will. It doesn't matter if they get up 1000 times, you just keep putting them back on there. The key is being consistent, do not let him wear you down and show him who is the boss. This is not being mean, it is being a parent. What you are building now is what you will live with forever. Best of luck!

HI J.,

Some stages are really tough, aren't they? :-) I second the recommendation for the Siblings without Rivalry and How to Talk so Kids Will Listen books, and will add in the "Positive Discipline" series by Jane Nelson. There is one specifically for toddlers/preschool age children.

This is a trying stage, especially if he's not too verbal, which many two-year-olds are not. If he doesn't have a big vocabulary, I'd try adding in some sign language work with him.

Also, make sure that you are spending some loving 1-1 time with him (you probably are already doing that...) doing something he enjoys. When he gets frustrated, reflect that back to him, so he knows you understand, and give him some alternative behavior choices when he's frustrated/angry whatever.

Try turning the "no's" into something like "you may have more cheese as soon as you finish what you have. You may have as much as you like". The books will help with more suggestions.

Remember to find things you like/love/appreciate about him and his behavior, and notice these things out loud to him.

Has he always been unhappy? or is this a big change for him? you might make an appointment for further evaluation if the new ideas from the books don't seem to bring about any changes.

Hang in there. If there is one thing I've learned, it's that sometimes icky phases just need to be survived until the child matures a little. Do get the books, though. They will help!

best of luck

C.

I've known a 2-3 yo's who sound just like your son. It's a horribly frustrating time in a child's life, especially the more spirited and ambitious ones. They are old enough to know what they want, and have almost zero ability to get it or do it for themselves. They hate feeling helpless, they hate being unable to communicate their wishes, and they are almost frantic for control.

Two suggestions that have been almost miraculous with a few of these 'littles" who have been within my view:

Check out books and videos about the approach used by Dr. Harvey Karp; The Happiest Toddler on the Block. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ1428uYs2g&NR=1&a.... . He will demonstrate in this (and several related video clips) exactly how he "speaks" the toddler's language, gets on their wavelength, so they know he's on their team. This makes them happy to be on his team.

Two books by Faber and Mazlish: Siblings Without Rivalry, and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk. As your son's ability to communicate increases, the wisdom in these books will make them go-to resources you will reach for again and again. The techniques and ideas respect both the parents' needs and the child's, and they work with real, everyday kids. These authors have been running parenting workshops for years. They really "get" kids.

If you don't get real results from these approaches, your son may have additional issues, such as reactions to foods or chemicals in his environment. This is a scary and sad trend that is affecting more kids every generation. But start with the behavioral approach, and you'll probably like what happens.

Maybe this is too simple of an answer, but it just sounds like a power struggle. Your son is running the house. He needs to be taught how to behave- good choices, how to handle situations, consequences, etc...
R.

Give him a good multi, follow the advise of Kimmi below, and also, is he not speaking? This may be causing frustration, if he can't communicate well enuf to tell you what the problem is.

Hello!
How's his sleep? This can have a huge impact on a child's temperment and overall ability to cope.

My son is two as well and I am having similar issues with him. He has been acting two since before he even turned two. All of a sudden now he is getting worse. He is trying to get into a power struggle over everything that he does not want to do. He throws a fit when getting out of the tub, whenever we leave a fun section in a store, or when his favorite tv show (Barney) is over. It is driving me crazy! I have always been very consistent with him, he eats very healthy meals and snacks, gets plenty of sleep, and we always follow a very normal routine. He knows what to expect so I don't know what it is other than it must just be the age. I would love some advice from others on this myself but the only advice I can give you is just try to stay consistent in discipline (follow through), feeding, and sleeping. Hopefully it will pass!:) Good luck!

You should spend some quality time with your son:outdoor (playground,playgym) or even start a class based on what he likes(art, music class..)At this age he needs to be constantly reminded that mommy or daddy loves him.Maybe he is jealous of his older sister.
Try to set some special mommy and son time.
Good luck

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