Wish Lists for Birthdays

I would never do one. I do not think a gift is a requirement to go to a party, and although I always bring one, I would think nothing of it if someone came to mine or my kids without one. Putting in a wish list is like asking for a present, something I find to be rather rude. If someone wants to know what kind of gifts they child may want, they will ask when they RSVP.

I agree with the general feel here, which is, wish lists for birthdays seems a bit presumptuous if not downright tacky. You can always buy a gift card for a kid who is an unknown more or less. (Most schools DON'T require that a whole class be invited, I have heard of Catholic schools that do so, not public schools). Or better yet BUY A GREAT BOOK that is age appropriate!

I don't do one for my kids, but I kind of like the idea when buying for other kids. It makes it easier. My friend makes one, but really only shares it with the grandparents, and if anyone asks. I will ask the mom what kinds of things the birthday kid likes, but then I usually forget when it is time to shop. I write up a list on paper that my kids want, then if someone asks, I can look at the list and rattle off ideas.

I don't agree with kids' wish lists personally. I think it's unnecessary and a bit rude. If people are wondering what to buy, they can always ask, but some of the best gifts our kids have received are things I never even knew existed, so there's no way they would have been on a wish list. I agree with TF: lists of gifts are for adults' showers, not kids' birthdays.

We never did wish lists and would not.

To me: a registry/ wishlist is for bridal and baby showers.

We never expected gifts because 99% of our parties are no no gifts please or gifts specifically geared toward our local food bank or animal shelter

Not a fan of registries in general, and I am frankly quite disturbed by the fact that children are now doing this? for their birthdays?!
Honestly, if your child doesn't even know the birthday child that well why is she being invited to the party?
Seems like a very strange trend. I'm sure there is some very clever advertising agency that came up with this gimmick (Mad Men anyone?)

Personally, I don't want my kids to have wish lists. If people want ideas of what to give my child, they can ask me, and I can give them some ideas. If I'm at a loss of what to give their child, I'll ask them for ideas. But when my daughter is invited to her friends' parties, part of the fun is my daughter helping pick out the gift. She sometimes knows exactly what her friend would like or she chooses something she already has and likes knowing that her friend will probably like it too.
As someone mentioned below, I guess a gift is not a requirement to go to a party, but I would NEVER not give one unless the invitation said "no gifts," and I would be sure to explain this to my daughter. I know for a fact that if my daughter didn't bring a gift to her friend's party, she sure would feel terribly uncomfortable during gift opening time being the only one who didn't bring one.

This is a wish list at target much like a bridal registry or baby shower registry?? Never heard of it and would never do it, I also didn't have a bridal registry nor a baby shower since I took my daughter in at the last minute from my sister. If a guest wants to give a gift and has absolutely no idea and can't figure it out, they can give you a call if they want (or your daughter can help out). Since my daughter has a summer birthday, we mostly do trips or activities during that time and have family and/or friend parties where there are "no gifts" specified.

My daughter still doesn't ask for anything for Christmas or her birthday, she doesn't like to ask for things. She leaves it all up to me. She never asked for her car either and was very shocked and when I took her car shopping (and bought her a new car at 15).

Technically the wish list/registry at Target is for the birth of a baby, not subsequent birthdays. No one I know does gift wish lists for kid's birthdays, even at the stores that offer them like Toy R Us.

Other than a new baby or wedding they leave a bad taste in some people's mouths, a friend of mine told me her niece had a wish list and she thought it was tacky and assuming as she didn't "owe" her anything, but she knew her sister had done it not her niece, so she sent her a check and didn't attend the party.

If you are stuck for a gift for your daughter's friends' birthdays: 1) ask the parents or 2) a gift card at Target for $10 (or more if you want) is fine..

nope, don't like them....with the exception of much older kids....& then it's always self-authored.

Gifts should be from the heart, for the moment. Gifts should be received with open arms & open hearts, not as a checkmark on a list.

I also feel strongly about moms NOT micromanaging other people's gift giving. Sometimes making recommendations removes the spontaneity of the moment. Too much of a control freak mindframe for me!

I don't do gift cards unless the child is specifically working toward a goal. (GameStop, etc)

I pride myself on knowing the kids in my family well enough to be able to buy gifts for them. My sis & I help each other out, as do the siblings. It's a very helpful family grapevine!

With friends/classmates, I buy generic gifts ....which are always fun. Sometimes I have to ask the parents' permission (slingshots/marshmallow guns for the boys are fav items....we live in a small town & a lot of the kids live on farms). Girls love nail kits, craft kits, scrapbooking, etc. Boys love sports, Nerf stuff, movie night packs, etc. Lots of ideas if you keep up with
current trends vs. classic items!

I think that in today's world we are in jeopardy of loosing some basic ideas of gratitude. When you receive a gift that someone bothered to shop for, wrap and give you, we used to love the surprise and be grateful for the other persons' thoughtfulness. It seems now people are all about instant gratification and making a list for other people to purchase. I see this with my sister and her girls and personally I think that it is really sad.

My daughter has a wish list but it is on the side of our fridge at home. When she was a 1, 2 & 3 I did send a little note about her clothes size (shirt & pants are different sizes) BUT that was only certian family members. I knew those people were going to ask anyway so I was just one step ahead of them, it was a little specail note paper I put in the invite not on the card itself.

At age 4 we put 'no gifts' but everyone brought items anyway, most small like a bell for a bike, puzzle, most knew she was big into tinker bell and yes those same family members that asked about clothes asked again.

Just last week was my daughter's 5th birthday, sent out invites with the basic info on it (what, date, time, place, RSVP) nothing else. Most gifts were low key like an outfit, coloring book, hello kitty stuff, tangeled, dress up clothes.

As someone else mentioned that putting up a wish list is micromanaging your guests gifts... I totally can see that I did that the 1st & 2nd year for both birthday & christmas. The past 3 years it has been awesome to see what people think to bring, we only invite family and my daughter gets to pick out 3 close families/friends to come.

If you do not know what to get them most web sites let you narrow down by age, gender and price range... it is so helpful, inculde a gift receipt and enjoy yourself. Also a gift card is just fine, it lets the kid explore that store or save up for something they really want.

At christmas time we do a name exchange between us siblings & their others so in this case we do make up a wish list of items between $0 and $40. One of my brothers always puts "surprise me" while most of us has a few things down, including gift cards.

I would never and my child would never directly ask for gifts from someone...and that's essentially what a wish list is. And presents are supposed to be a GIFT, a bonus, not an expectation. (I can just see it "'Scuse me, Bobby, but I believe I asked for the BLUE one, not the GREEN one. Sheesh. Some people just don't know how to give me exactly what I want.").

My son does write up his own "birthday wish list" but that's more to get him to stop bugging me about how much he wants toy X, Y or Z and really for my eyes only and if someone asks what to get him, I may generalize about some genres that he's interested in (based on his list) but with nothing specific called out.

For Christmas, we have out-of-state family that we do send gift ideas out to. But I don't send my own ideas, I do my husband's and he doesn't know what's on it (and vice versa and the kids don't even know we do this at all for them). So, if I'm gift shopping and there are 4 more things that I know he'd love, I'll send those ideas over to his sister in case she's looking for ideas. And she does the same for us. But that's it. We certainly don't send our lists to anyone else, nor do we publicize that we came up with a list for each other (and we only exchange with my husband's sister and bro-in-law). And I hated the idea of sending a list to them when we first started doing it because I do not ask for presents. But since we don't live close by and we aren't part of the day-to-day operations of their lives, we don't know the intricate details of whether one needs a new pair of khakis for work unless we are informed.

As for giving gifts to other kids, I have a $10 spending max and usually I let my son pick out the present for the friend who's having the party. Then include the gift receipt and you're good to go.

My kids have wishlists on Amazon but I only give them to close family who asks for them. I don't include them with school invites. Most parents only spend 10-15 dollars on a gift for a schoolmate. It would be hard to have a list with only items in that price range. We all just wing it. Once they are a little older I have my child ask the kid what he's into for the gift. When younger I just get the typical 5 year old garb. Games, crafts etc.. As for clothes, I don't want anyone buying my DD clothes anyway. She and I are super picky. If there is no size then no one can buy us clothes. If it's a character nightgown they could guess on the size.

I think they are obnoxious. You get what you get and you don't get upset.

I never gave wish list to anyone except family and only if they asked.

If we were not sure what to give a child, I would call the parent and make suggestions and or ask what the child was "into"..

I personnaly think they are a great idea, but maybe only for family. And then if someone asks you can refer them. Let's not forget our lives are changing because of technology and different things are going to be acceptable in 10 years that were not acceptable 40 years ago beacause they were not possible. If it were between getting a kid a birthday gift off of a list and giving them a gift card, I would pick off the list. If this list is priced too high, then get something else that is not on the list. Art and craft supplies are always a hit because even if they have them, you can always use more. I think for young kids especially, a gift card is very impersonnal. And it is nice to ask if you have a chance what the kid likes. I wouldn't want a gift to be yet another errand (exchanging it) that busy parents have to accomplish. My daughter has her birthday a few days before Christmas also, and I don't blame you for not wanting to stand in the extra long Christmas lines to exchange stuff.

Both of my kids have one..... family was always asking waht to get and wanted to know in SUCH detail it just made it easy. Family knows it is there. We do not include it invites.
To the person who asked why invite kids they do not know... most schools have a policy that everyone gets an invite....

I always do wish lists but I do not put them on invites. I have found most moms when they call to RSVP will ask what does the child want. I tell them she has a wish list at, well I use Toy r Us.

I figure the wish list can be pulled up online so they can see it but they are not bound to buy from Toy r Us.

There was a similar post to yours a couple months ago and people thought it was rude to have a wish list. I don't get it, my kids register for stuff anywhere from 5 to 50 dollars since grandma shops from the same list. So if they want they can spend 5 dollars and give something they want.

The way others do it is you ask what the child wants, oh she really wants barbie blah blah blah which ends up costing 25 dollars. Well you either spend 25 or you are back where you were before you asked. So which really puts the guests in the position to overspend?

i hate wishlists....in fact when we get an evite with a link to a list it drives me crazy. let me kid pick out a gift they want for their friend, or let me pick out something i want to give a family member...i always include a gift receipt. a wish list very much presumes that you are going to buy a gift and not everyone can afford a gift of that level, etc. they are really snobby at the end of the day!

The one time I registered a wish list at Toys R Us my family got really angry about it so I never did it again.

Our circle of friends typically request "no gifts". There are always some little things exchanged, but our intent is that people don't feel they can't come to celebrate because they can't afford another gift for yet another child.
What works in your circle is what is best I guess.

I think a wish list is a great idea for extended families. That way, everyone knows what is needed, wanted, etc. I think that birthday parties, though, are less about the gifts, and much more about bringing people together to celebrate. One friend had all the invitees donate to a charity for children in the inner city. Another friend, in lieu of gifts and goodie bags, had everyone bring a gently used book. At the end, there was a grab bag, and everyone got to take a book home. Birthday parties should be about making happy memories of fun times, with the gifts being a nice addition to the overall activities.

I think it's nice to make one, but don't think you should include it on the invitation. If people ask you what she wants, you can tell them about it. Otherwise, just let them pick what they want.

For her friends, buy things you think your own daughter would like and provide a gift receipt so they can return it if they want.