Won't Poop on the Potty!

Updated on September 03, 2008
L.P. asks from Tampa, FL
18 answers

My 2 1/2 year old is partially potty trained...will go #1 with no problem. She poops pretty regular and usually does so at night. We have fallen into the AWFUL habit of her asking for a diaper when she needs to poop. TERRIBLE, I know. Two days ago we put all of the diapers in a bag and I told her the trash man was coming to get them. She knows they are gone and won't be back. Today will be day two with no poop and she keeps asking for one more diaper. I am so scared she is going to get constipated. Any suggestions or ideas from mommies that have gone through the same thing.

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M.A.

answers from Fort Myers on

I don't think that's an awful habit; I agree with the others - don't force the issue. Let her develop this skill in her own time. She will hold it and you don't want to end up in the ER with impacted poop. She's used to standing and pooping and now you want her to sit and she's just not comfortable yet.
My ped suggested we do this - buy pull-ups and put them where my daughter can reach them. When she has to poop, she takes off her panties and puts on a pull-up and hides and goes. It gives her a little independence, but she doesn't poop in her panties. It's worked so far to alleviate the diaper battles we were having because she still feels like a big girl, not wearing 'diapers'.
good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.D.

answers from Lakeland on

Hi L.,
I'm a Grandma here but I would like to share just a little if you dont mind.
It will be better for her physically and emotionaly to have potty training take a little longer than to flort with colon trouble or later psuchological ticks which come from her potty training. Potty training is one of the crucial times that mess people up later in life. In fact more harm can come from potty training than almost any other event in childhood.
I would suggest that you have her help you wash out the diaper each time so that maybe eventually she will decide to get rid of the middle step. Dont do it harshly or like a punishment, just more like this is what we do next so please help Mommie.

Food Luck with this!

S.

1 mom found this helpful

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H.L.

answers from Tampa on

I have a four year old daughter and we went through the exact same thing! DO NOT give up. I saught the advice of our pediatrician and her excellent advise, that worked by the way, was to give her apple juice and other fruits that start with the letter "P" i.e. pears, pineapple, etc. Soon enough whe will "have" to go!

It only took one "accident" for my daughter to go in her panties and she NEVER had a problem again.

Best wishes to you!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.W.

answers from Tampa on

L., I am a Grandmother with 14 grandkids. When my oldest was little she would hold it and it became a real problem. They hold it until it becomes so hard and large that it does literally hurt when they do go. Then, they don't want to go and the whole bad problem begins. I would definitely talk to my pediatrician. Little ones have so many misconceived notions in their heads that you don't know what her reasoning is behind it. We have one granddaughter that won't go with anyone in the bathroom with her and another that is 3 and still isn't potty trained. Yes, as a mother it is aggravating and sometimes embarrassing, but this too will pass Relax and just keep encouraging her.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Tampa on

please, take a look at my request and how it worked out about the same issue just a few short weeks ago! (click on my profile and my own requests). What I found is that you have got to be patient and let them do it on their own time frame - not yours. We made the mistake of taking away her security and she did get constipated - she was terrified and in pain, and it set us back... months!!!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.N.

answers from Tampa on

Be patient it will come when they are ready. Give her Chamomile tea to keep her tummy calm and to prevent constipation. Forcing it and talking about it too much will make it take longer. Just like crawling, walking and talking, they will go when they are ready. Take her to the bathroom with you when you go, but don't make it a big deal. My third child would only go outside or run in place and go on the floor for a few months, it passed and now he runs to the toilet. It was a bit frustrating because he had to go, but couldn't or wouldn't. Just give love and show patience, this too shall pass...no pun intended. :)

oh yeah, you can give her acidolphilus, suitable for children and chewable fish oil tablets too, to make sure she doesn't get constipated. The above can be bought at a health food store.

A.
www.naturallyliving-clearskies.blogspot.com

1 mom found this helpful
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S.V.

answers from Tampa on

Why is everyone in such a hurry to push their kids to do things they are clearly not ready to do? We get all stressed out, stress out our kids, for what? I promise you that you will not send them off to college not pooping in the potty.

Every child is different and will learn new skills at different times. Let them be unique.

I am the mom of 3 with #4 due in 8 weeks. all of my kids potty trained at different ages and different ways. Learning to pee is usually the easiest. #2 usually takes a lot longer. My son is 3 1/2 and in the last 2 months has gotten down the poo thing but was peeing in the potty for 6 months before that. we encouraged him, but did not make a big thing of it. then one day he decided to go poo in the potty, he got a big reward and every one is happy.

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C.

answers from Tampa on

My son did the same thing. Unfortunately he did not start pooping on the potty until he was 4. He peed at 2 in the potty. It was ugly. We tried everything. He would hold his poop for days then it would hurt. We had to put Vaseline on bum to help him go. Some children are afraid to let the poop go in the potty. My son kept saying he was scared. We ended up leaving him on the potty for 30 minutes at a time a few times a day. He eventually started going. He is almost 7 now and does much better. But once in a while still gets scared and doesn't know why.

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L.G.

answers from Tampa on

Morning,

I went through the same thing with my daughter and son, the difference being she was clinically constipated for 3 years. she would not go period. We tried everything the doctors said and finally they sent me to a specialist. Basically she was scared to go poop, so a little concentrated milk of magnesium and the proplem was solved.

My son on the other hand was a little easier, we made him run around bottom less when we knew it was time and caught him when he looked ready and just sat him on the potty. Once he went and realized it didn't hurt, he was fine. He even looked up and said I DID IT. Both seemed to be scared for one reason or another,

good luck.

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M.K.

answers from Tampa on

To avoid constipation, give her some fresh fruit with the skin on to eat, like apricots or peaches. Won't take her long to go after that :)

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B.S.

answers from Tampa on

Give her the diaper. My nephew did the exact same thing. She is in pain holding her poop and she's just not ready. She will eventually get the hang of it. she's only 2 1/2 so she has time left to get it right. Make everyone feel better and give her the diaper.

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T.D.

answers from Tampa on

I can't wait to see the responses to this. I am going through the EXACT same thing and it's driving me nuts. Good luck!!

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T.P.

answers from Tampa on

had the same problem with my son. Eventually it will hurt when she uses the potty because she held it in so long. Be prepared and give her lots of orange juice or other softening foods! Once she stops associating pain with poop she will be fine.

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R.

answers from Tampa on

Totally normal. Yes, she will more than likely get constipated. Getting a toddler to poop on the potty can be a very stressful thing for them. It scares them for some reason, but it is VERY common. You should get alot of advice from alot of moms. Mine is to give her back her diapers :). Be patient with her and don't push her. She will stop when she is ready. Good luck!

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M.P.

answers from Tampa on

I agree with Shandra's post. My daughter is almost 3 and she doesn't poop in the potty either. She'll do it when she's ready, I know that. I'm not going to stress about this, it's stupid to stress about it. I've got enough to worry about. Her not pooping in the potty is not affecting my life at all.

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S.C.

answers from Tampa on

My 2 1/2 year old son has been "partially" potty trained for almost 4 months now and still wont go #2 on the potty. I feel like I have tried everything. He hates to wear pull-ups, so I will make him wear them lately just as a punishment for going in his pants. Nothing seems to work though!!! I have tried incintives: candy, toys, movies, etc. He has gone 3 times in the potty and we have made a huge deal about it and he gets so excited, but just wont get in a routine! He will hold it. I mix prune juice in his fruit punch so that he can only hold it so long before it has to come out.

I am really at a loss for what to tell you or advise you as I am in the same situation and I know that MANY others are as well. I have posted my issues and I am pretty sure I have tried everyone's suggestions and nothing has worked so far. Please let me know if you find something that works!!!

Good luck!

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H.B.

answers from Tampa on

I would give her the diaper ASAP, or compromise maybe to lay out the diaper over the bottom of her potty chair so her poop can go on it. Many kids have a fear of pooping anywhere other than what has been deemed acceptable for the last 2 1/2 years before her world started changing and everyone wasnt happy with where she was happily going :-) Sometimes looking at it through their eyes helps us be more understanding to their emotions, fears and behaviors.

In my opinion, 2 1/2 is early to force the issue....sure, many girls might be started by then, but so was she by doing #1 in the potty....just go easy and let her take the lead. Mine just finished potty training at 3. Also, do you use a super reward system? One that she selects awesome memorable rewards for sitting on the potty to poop, trying, getting some in there....maybe starting with pooping on the diaper in the bottom of the potty???

Hang in there and let her take the lead. Don't stress, she will certainly NOT be trekking off to college with her stash of diapers!!! Don't rush!

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A.T.

answers from Fort Myers on

L. ~

Just be very encouraging towards her and her BM's. Always asking if she is ready to go, sitting with her(unless she does not want you around)can help.
I purchased Mineral oil, which was encouraged by my pediatrician, in order to help any constipation. You just add a tsp to the drink of choice - it has no flavor! Just make sure you do not do it in front of her! LOL The questions come rolling in and having to deal with that one is difficult! LOL

Patience and encouragment is the key! Make it a "Big Girl" task, always. I have found that the best encouragement there is; explaining that going to the potty is a "Big Girl" thing to do is wonderful!

Always check with your pediatrician if you have any concerns.

I hope this has been helpful, L..
Take Care!

~ A. T. ~ =)

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