Words for Condolence Card

ETA - keep in mind - my boys are not old enough to be married. But if they were - I would hope this is what I would say...

if you did not know him personally? I would keep it as simple as possible. I feel for the people who have lost their parents. Thank God, I have not.

What would I want to hear from someone who took the time to send me a condolence card? The truth.

Dear Jane,

I heard of your profound loss. Mere words cannot express my deepest sympathies at the loss of John.

Through your daughter, my wonderful daughter in law, I see what wonderful parents you were to shape her into the woman my son fell in love with.

Please know that you and your family will remain in our thoughts and prayers. If you need anything, please let us know.

In God's love,

S., Tyler and the boys.

Having gone through this myself, I always write something to the effect of these memories that right now bring you tears will soon bring a smile to your face. Keep on remembering.

After my mom died I got so tired of hearing about how sorry people were for my loss & how they understood how they felt blah blah blah so I simply say ( and had to say this today as a matter a fact ) ...Know that you & your family will remain in our hearts. Short & sweet & to the point. I'm not trying to sound rude, but my mom wasn't a pair of gym socks that got lost & by the 20th hug in the line at the funeral home I wanted to ask the person who told me they understood just how I felt...really, were you 8 months pregnant with a dead mom. Sixteen years later I can kid around about it, so I guess we are alike with the sarcasm & humor but that doesn't mix too well w/a Hallmark card! Good Luck!

There are no words to say how sorry I am for the loss of your father.
Sending you strength during this most difficult time.

I'm sorry for your loss...

if you have any personal dealing with him? Talk about a special time you shared...when my mom died in September - many of the cards we got were about the blue jean blankets she made them - how they treasure them - or something they did together - my parents belonged to several RV camping groups - and many shared her recipes (dishes) that she brought to the campouts...

If you have a special memory - talking with him at the wedding, or anything personal - share it. It helps the family more than you will ever know.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss, may his memory be eternal!

So this is for your Daughter In Law's Mom, whose Husband passed away?
Might you also need to, write a card for your daughter in law, whose Dad passed away?

... when my Dad passed away and we got condolence cards.... what I did not "like", were the cards that were so perfunctory sounding and generic. Because, it sounded "fake." But again, most people are not expert condolence card writers. So take it with a grain of salt. Writing these types of cards, are very awkward for most people.
So understandably, I know how you feel about writing this.

Did you know, well, your DIL's Mom's Husband?
Or not?
Or do you know, well, your DIL's Mom?
Or not?
Depending on that, perhaps that will guide what you write.
If you did not know him well or well enough... then try and put yourself in their shoes and feel... how you would feel comforted by someone, for their loss.
Then write.... stream of thought.
Then, edit it.
And refine it.
Then write your final draft, in the card. And feel good about it.

I received a card from my whole office when my dad passed away. I was so touched that everyone took the time to write something, I didn't really care what they said. I am not particularly religious, but I appreciated the sentiment when people said that my family would be in their prayers. I think something simple and heartfelt is great. The "standard" sentiments are: You are in my/our thoughts, prayers, hearts, or some combination of those, my/our deepest sympathy. You can add a brief personal sentiment as suggested below. Stay away from the urge to inject humor and you will be fine :)

Just a note to let you hear how sorry I was to hear about your father. I know you will dearly miss him. I remember his laugh/humor/kindness/intelligence/wit so clearly! The last time I saw/heard from/heard about him through Jane he was busy with/planning to/immensely enjoying his grandchildren/garden/trip to Spain.
The world was a better place because of his generosity/kindness/compassion/support if XYZ.
Again, my deepest sympathy for your loss.

"I was so hurt to hear of your loss. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers."

When I can't find anything heart felt or sympathtic to write I turn to google. I simply google condolences and get a ton a good ideas.