Working Mom Looking for Advice on Dealing with 9 Month Old and Daycare Situation

My daughter is the same way. She goes to bed usually at 7pm-- which stinks b/c Mon, Wed, Fri we don't usually get home until about 6:15. Tue/Thurs I pick up my kids at 4, so it's not as bad.

I have two suggestions. First, really work with your daycare. Mine has a set nap time 12:30-2:30 for the older kids, toddlers included. My daughter also did not want to miss out...but slept better on a cot in the toddler room, b/c everyone else was sleeping. Hopefully, he will transition into at least one nap a day and not be sooo tired at home.

Second, if he is that tired when you get home, let him sleep. At 9 mos, sleep is more important than eating dinner. My daughter used to do this. Most times she would sleep about an hour and then get up, eat and play for a bit.

Good luck...

I used to work daycare with infants and understand that the little ones are very interested in what is going on. I always planned for all the kids to sleep at the same time that way it was quiet for everyone. Do they do that?

Unfortunately this just may be one of the cons of day care.

If he were mine.... I would look for an in-home daycare with less children and less commotion. Or look for a grandma who could watch him at your house.

I know that little bit of evening time you have with him is so important. I would be ticked too.

Hope it all works out.

If your son is tired when you pick him up from day care - the best thing to do would be to give him a bottle and put him to bed. He doesnt need to eat dinner. He is still getting all of his nutrition from the formula.

When I worked I also had no quality time with my child- I got home to a hungry cranky baby - I tried to keep her up to play with her but that didnt work as she wa just tired and needed to sleep.

I got home at 5 and the baby needed to go to bed and be asleep by 630. As she got older her nap schedule changed adn her bedtime moved later.

I know this is a very difficult time. Working full time with an infant is unbelievably hard. I have done it.

Your son could be teething or going through a time that he is not napping well. I bet in a few weeks or months his sleep schedule will change and he will be more pleasant.

Remember the mommy mantra... "this too will pass"

A few questions...
Does he sleep at all for nap time?
How does he eat during the day?

Some kids do not eat 3 "full" meals a day. My guys are daytime foragers. They eat great breakfasts, and lunches and will forage inbetween for snacks. Then come dinner time they don't really touch anything. I've tried stopping the snacks and they still don't eat a big meal at night. Could be that he's more of a day time eater right now. Offer him dinner, but don't force him to eat it. Just make sure you are giving him healthy snacks to pick at while your making dinner...
At 9 months old he should be taking 2 small or 1 couple hour naps still... BUT that varies by child. Some kids turn out to be non nappers. He may be in a developmental growth spurt. Have them keep offering the naps... And maybe, one night, give him a snack on the way home and then put him to bed right away. See how he responds. Does he wake up in the middle of the night? Wake up earlier? Seem more rested in the morning?
If he's tired he needs his sleep, but some people just arn't tired enough until 4 or 5 pm to take a nap.
He's figuring his own sleep schedule out all the time. Play with it and maybe after one or two nights of more sleep he'll be happier and not need to go to bed so early. Give it a few weeks and he'll be at a new developmental stage and adjust accordingly.

Parenting is trial and error. What works for one is called an error for another. So keep trying different stuff and always listen to your mommy senses. :-) Good luck!

M.,
I have to agree with the in-home daycare. At the in-home daycare my children go to, they will put some of the children in their own separate room especially if they have issues with napping. If you do choose to try to do an in-home daycare, I would just look for one that has 2 people there, so one of them can give your son extra attention for getting down for a good nap while they other may have to tend to other things.

If you do not want to make the change, the only other thing I would suggest is trying a nap as soon as he gets home. Or, you may just have to put him to bed earlier. I know that cuts in to your time with him, but maybe you will be able to catch up on it more on the weekends and have him not be as overtired then and more enjoyable to be with.

Good luck with everything, I know how hard it is, but it does get easier.

M.,

I understand needing to have your child in a daycare and working. I am doing the exact same thing when I would much rather be at home taking care of my child. Mine is 18 months and has been at daycare since she was 6 months or so. When she first went to daycare she wouldn't drink her bottles. She was already started on solid foods, so she would eat but not drink a bottle at all. So, even though this has nothing to do with naps she had to adjust as well. What kind of daycare is your son in? I think that an in-home daycare is really the ticket. They don't have so many children and since it's in a home they usually have that homier feel to make young ones more comfortable. Also, open communication between you and the daycare provider are also a big key. If they are aware of the issues you are having they should be willing to work with you to solve this, and therefore make it better for your son. Being a parent is very hard, I have trials with mine every day, but when you have that moment that they run up to you and give you the biggest hug, it makes all the hair loss worth it! =)

I remember son needing or falling asleep as soon as i picked him up from daycare at this age.

Talk to the daycare about his naps - sometimes if they are learning or reaching a new milestone they do not sleep as well. Do they chart when he naps so you have an accurate picture of his day? My daycare charts naps, diaper changes, eating, and what activities they did that day. It really helps me understand his behavior at night.

good luck